Oswald Cobblepot

[onlyusefulphrases]

[squeeful]

[charlie-in-a-beanie]

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

[lennythereviewer]

In today’s modern society, Riddler would be the EASIEST of Batman’s villains to rehabilitate 

All you have to do? Give him a job designing/running an Escape Room facility

It’s perfect for him. A non-violent outlet for feeding his need to flex how intelligent he is, he still gets to create his elaborate puzzles and riddles, and people will willingly PAY HIM to lock them up in a room where he can mess with them for an hour or so

Someone get Bruce Wayne on the phone I have an idea for a thing he should invest in

[riddle-meme-this]

@memekingofgotham how about it?

[memekingofgotham]

I would invest in it

[tastefullyoffensive]

[riddle-meme-this]

@memekingofgotham what am I looking at.

[memekingofgotham]

A very bold fashion choice

[funnypages]

Let him have more pets

Batman: Li’l Gotham #7

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

YES MORE PETS

[laceybarbedwire]

Damian, if you get penguins and seals then Oswald will find out, and then the Waynes and the Cobblepots will be trapped in another rivalry, forced to constantly one up each other as to who has the best chilly habitat.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

BUT HE NEEDS THEM THO ;-;

[greenlanternsucks]

NO ONE is going to go to your Thursday night Denny's Dinner

:(

[robinheartsandtakinnames]

Exscuse? I will be. Denny's back parking lot is the best place place to square up. You best be there bc I wanna talk to you.

[greenlanternsucks]

:)

[robinheartsandtakinnames]

I just wanna talk to them, batdad!

[greenlanternsucks]

As long as we eat dinner at Dennys first.

[memekingofgotham]

Ill be there ill just be very confused

[greenlanternsucks]

Why do you keep trying to adopt Enigma? She's a villain.

Because she's a child who needs a stable home environment. Even if she never wants me to officially adopt her, I'm content knowing she knows she has somewhere safe to go if she ever needs that.

ALSO, impeccable fashion sense.

And she's my daughter's best friend

And I want another red haired kid.

[a-memeing-enigma]

uhhhhhhhhh

[memekingofgotham]

Im not sure how i feel about this

[greenlanternsucks]

I'll adopt you too if that's what it takes!

[memekingofgotham]

Last time a kindly rich father figure invited me to join his family it didnt go great

[riddle-meme-this]

"#then again i know your family and they're a lot less murdery"

still very aggressive though

[greenlanternsucks]

Aggressively supportive :)

[riddle-meme-this]

"#watch it buckko #ill adopt you too"

Are you trying to adopt everyone in Gotham?

[greenlanternsucks]

If that's what it comes down to.

[riddle-meme-this]

Oswald, @memekingofgotham, my bestest friend ever, you're my human behaviour person, and the only one I ever address any queries about the universe to, so pray tell me, what the hell is going on?

[memekingofgotham]

I think i just got adopted not sure honestly im as lost as you

[riddle-meme-this]

I think I may have gotten adopted too? I'm just... confused. And I don't like it.

Is this what it feels like to be an idiot?

Am I an idiot?

Am I as unintelligent as all those around me?

Is everything always this cloudy?

Nope.

Must cause chaos. Must riddle. Must be clever.

[memekingofgotham]

Yeah that'll help be back in time for dinner

[riddle-meme-this]

*goes on a week long criminal bender with lots of explosives and walks back in looking very dishevelled*

Is it dinnertime?

[memekingofgotham]

Yep

[riddle-meme-this]

Oh, good. What's for dinner and also that solved nothing I am still so confused and I still don't like it.

[memekingofgotham]

Salmon

Anyways dont feel bad Bruce can be a very confusing person

[riddle-meme-this]

Lovely!

I feel very dumb right now.

[memekingofgotham]

Sometimes its not a matter of intelligence but a matter of wavelength and i dont think theres anyone on your wavelength

[riddle-meme-this]

I most certainly do not understand Bruce Wayne's wavelength.

I like to think I understand yours though...

[memekingofgotham]

And I think if theres anyone who can understand your wavelength I think its me

[riddle-meme-this]

I think you understand my wavelength very well, Oswald.

[memekingofgotham]

Thank you Ed that means a lot

[greenlanternsucks]

Why do you keep trying to adopt Enigma? She's a villain.

Because she's a child who needs a stable home environment. Even if she never wants me to officially adopt her, I'm content knowing she knows she has somewhere safe to go if she ever needs that.

ALSO, impeccable fashion sense.

And she's my daughter's best friend

And I want another red haired kid.

[a-memeing-enigma]

uhhhhhhhhh

[memekingofgotham]

Im not sure how i feel about this

[greenlanternsucks]

I'll adopt you too if that's what it takes!

[memekingofgotham]

Last time a kindly rich father figure invited me to join his family it didnt go great

[riddle-meme-this]

"#then again i know your family and they're a lot less murdery"

still very aggressive though

[greenlanternsucks]

Aggressively supportive :)

[riddle-meme-this]

"#watch it buckko #ill adopt you too"

Are you trying to adopt everyone in Gotham?

[greenlanternsucks]

If that's what it comes down to.

[riddle-meme-this]

Oswald, @memekingofgotham, my bestest friend ever, you're my human behaviour person, and the only one I ever address any queries about the universe to, so pray tell me, what the hell is going on?

[memekingofgotham]

I think i just got adopted not sure honestly im as lost as you

[riddle-meme-this]

I think I may have gotten adopted too? I'm just... confused. And I don't like it.

Is this what it feels like to be an idiot?

Am I an idiot?

Am I as unintelligent as all those around me?

Is everything always this cloudy?

Nope.

Must cause chaos. Must riddle. Must be clever.

[memekingofgotham]

Yeah that'll help be back in time for dinner

[riddle-meme-this]

*goes on a week long criminal bender with lots of explosives and walks back in looking very dishevelled*

Is it dinnertime?

[memekingofgotham]

Yep

[riddle-meme-this]

Oh, good. What's for dinner and also that solved nothing I am still so confused and I still don't like it.

[memekingofgotham]

Salmon

Anyways dont feel bad Bruce can be a very confusing person

[riddle-meme-this]

Lovely!

I feel very dumb right now.

[memekingofgotham]

Sometimes its not a matter of intelligence but a matter of wavelength and i dont think theres anyone on your wavelength

[riddle-meme-this]

I most certainly do not understand Bruce Wayne's wavelength.

I like to think I understand yours though...

[memekingofgotham]

And I think if theres anyone who can understand your wavelength I think its me

[greenlanternsucks]

Why do you keep trying to adopt Enigma? She's a villain.

Because she's a child who needs a stable home environment. Even if she never wants me to officially adopt her, I'm content knowing she knows she has somewhere safe to go if she ever needs that.

ALSO, impeccable fashion sense.

And she's my daughter's best friend

And I want another red haired kid.

[a-memeing-enigma]

uhhhhhhhhh

[memekingofgotham]

Im not sure how i feel about this

[greenlanternsucks]

I'll adopt you too if that's what it takes!

[memekingofgotham]

Last time a kindly rich father figure invited me to join his family it didnt go great

[riddle-meme-this]

"#then again i know your family and they're a lot less murdery"

still very aggressive though

[greenlanternsucks]

Aggressively supportive :)

[riddle-meme-this]

"#watch it buckko #ill adopt you too"

Are you trying to adopt everyone in Gotham?

[greenlanternsucks]

If that's what it comes down to.

[riddle-meme-this]

Oswald, @memekingofgotham, my bestest friend ever, you're my human behaviour person, and the only one I ever address any queries about the universe to, so pray tell me, what the hell is going on?

[memekingofgotham]

I think i just got adopted not sure honestly im as lost as you

[riddle-meme-this]

I think I may have gotten adopted too? I'm just... confused. And I don't like it.

Is this what it feels like to be an idiot?

Am I an idiot?

Am I as unintelligent as all those around me?

Is everything always this cloudy?

Nope.

Must cause chaos. Must riddle. Must be clever.

[memekingofgotham]

Yeah that'll help be back in time for dinner

[riddle-meme-this]

*goes on a week long criminal bender with lots of explosives and walks back in looking very dishevelled*

Is it dinnertime?

[memekingofgotham]

Yep

[riddle-meme-this]

Oh, good. What's for dinner and also that solved nothing I am still so confused and I still don't like it.

[memekingofgotham]

Salmon

Anyways dont feel bad Bruce can be a very confusing person

[riddle-meme-this]

Lovely!

I feel very dumb right now.

[memekingofgotham]

Sometimes its not a matter of intelligence but a matter of wavelength and i dont think theres anyone on your wavelength

[greenlanternsucks]

Why do you keep trying to adopt Enigma? She's a villain.

Because she's a child who needs a stable home environment. Even if she never wants me to officially adopt her, I'm content knowing she knows she has somewhere safe to go if she ever needs that.

ALSO, impeccable fashion sense.

And she's my daughter's best friend

And I want another red haired kid.

[a-memeing-enigma]

uhhhhhhhhh

[memekingofgotham]

Im not sure how i feel about this

[greenlanternsucks]

I'll adopt you too if that's what it takes!

[memekingofgotham]

Last time a kindly rich father figure invited me to join his family it didnt go great

[riddle-meme-this]

"#then again i know your family and they're a lot less murdery"

still very aggressive though

[greenlanternsucks]

Aggressively supportive :)

[riddle-meme-this]

"#watch it buckko #ill adopt you too"

Are you trying to adopt everyone in Gotham?

[greenlanternsucks]

If that's what it comes down to.

[riddle-meme-this]

Oswald, @memekingofgotham, my bestest friend ever, you're my human behaviour person, and the only one I ever address any queries about the universe to, so pray tell me, what the hell is going on?

[memekingofgotham]

I think i just got adopted not sure honestly im as lost as you

[riddle-meme-this]

I think I may have gotten adopted too? I'm just... confused. And I don't like it.

Is this what it feels like to be an idiot?

Am I an idiot?

Am I as unintelligent as all those around me?

Is everything always this cloudy?

Nope.

Must cause chaos. Must riddle. Must be clever.

[memekingofgotham]

Yeah that'll help be back in time for dinner

[riddle-meme-this]

*goes on a week long criminal bender with lots of explosives and walks back in looking very dishevelled*

Is it dinnertime?

[memekingofgotham]

Yep

[riddle-meme-this]

Oh, good. What's for dinner and also that solved nothing I am still so confused and I still don't like it.

[memekingofgotham]

Salmon

Anyways dont feel bad Bruce can be a very confusing person

[greenlanternsucks]

Why do you keep trying to adopt Enigma? She's a villain.

Because she's a child who needs a stable home environment. Even if she never wants me to officially adopt her, I'm content knowing she knows she has somewhere safe to go if she ever needs that.

ALSO, impeccable fashion sense.

And she's my daughter's best friend

And I want another red haired kid.

[a-memeing-enigma]

uhhhhhhhhh

[memekingofgotham]

Im not sure how i feel about this

[greenlanternsucks]

I'll adopt you too if that's what it takes!

[memekingofgotham]

Last time a kindly rich father figure invited me to join his family it didnt go great

[riddle-meme-this]

"#then again i know your family and they're a lot less murdery"

still very aggressive though

[greenlanternsucks]

Aggressively supportive :)

[riddle-meme-this]

"#watch it buckko #ill adopt you too"

Are you trying to adopt everyone in Gotham?

[greenlanternsucks]

If that's what it comes down to.

[riddle-meme-this]

Oswald, @memekingofgotham, my bestest friend ever, you're my human behaviour person, and the only one I ever address any queries about the universe to, so pray tell me, what the hell is going on?

[memekingofgotham]

I think i just got adopted not sure honestly im as lost as you

[riddle-meme-this]

I think I may have gotten adopted too? I'm just... confused. And I don't like it.

Is this what it feels like to be an idiot?

Am I an idiot?

Am I as unintelligent as all those around me?

Is everything always this cloudy?

Nope.

Must cause chaos. Must riddle. Must be clever.

[memekingofgotham]

Yeah that'll help be back in time for dinner

[riddle-meme-this]

*goes on a week long criminal bender with lots of explosives and walks back in looking very dishevelled*

Is it dinnertime?

[memekingofgotham]

Yep

[greenlanternsucks]

Why do you keep trying to adopt Enigma? She's a villain.

Because she's a child who needs a stable home environment. Even if she never wants me to officially adopt her, I'm content knowing she knows she has somewhere safe to go if she ever needs that.

ALSO, impeccable fashion sense.

And she's my daughter's best friend

And I want another red haired kid.

[a-memeing-enigma]

uhhhhhhhhh

[memekingofgotham]

Im not sure how i feel about this

[a-memeing-enigma]

I think my current home environment is sorta stable...

[memekingofgotham]

Its at least as stable as a family of crime fighting vigilanties

[a-memeing-enigma]

And I can build myself lairs with fancy slide systems!

[memekingofgotham]

To be clear i mean stable in the metephorical sense the manor is probably more stable than the iceberg based lounge with fancy slide systems on it

Unless.. is the manor directly above the batcave because then i would say equal

[a-memeing-enigma]

"#i don't even know how I got the permits to build this thing"

You threatened the jobs and livelihoods of all the people who handed out permits.

And according to my research the manor is definitely above the batcave and the entire thing could come tumbling down at any moment. Particularly if explosives were involved.

[memekingofgotham]

Right forgot about that i should send them apology fruit baskets

Also please dont detonate the batcave I think they just adopted me

[a-memeing-enigma]

Because edible arrangements are the answer to everything.

How can they adopt you, you're an adult. Also I'm insulted that you think I would detonate the batcave... *hiding the detonator behind her back*

[memekingofgotham]

Well legally my age is a weird area technically i was born before him but im physically younger than him and legally i didnt exist before i entered the timeline so maybe thats it

[a-memeing-enigma]

... that's just wack, Uncle Penguin. How on earth do you know which birthday to celebrate?

[memekingofgotham]

The first one fpr date but with my physical age

[greenlanternsucks]

Why do you keep trying to adopt Enigma? She's a villain.

Because she's a child who needs a stable home environment. Even if she never wants me to officially adopt her, I'm content knowing she knows she has somewhere safe to go if she ever needs that.

ALSO, impeccable fashion sense.

And she's my daughter's best friend

And I want another red haired kid.

[a-memeing-enigma]

uhhhhhhhhh

[memekingofgotham]

Im not sure how i feel about this

[greenlanternsucks]

I'll adopt you too if that's what it takes!

[memekingofgotham]

Last time a kindly rich father figure invited me to join his family it didnt go great

[riddle-meme-this]

"#then again i know your family and they're a lot less murdery"

still very aggressive though

[greenlanternsucks]

Aggressively supportive :)

[riddle-meme-this]

"#watch it buckko #ill adopt you too"

Are you trying to adopt everyone in Gotham?

[greenlanternsucks]

If that's what it comes down to.

[riddle-meme-this]

Oswald, @memekingofgotham, my bestest friend ever, you're my human behaviour person, and the only one I ever address any queries about the universe to, so pray tell me, what the hell is going on?

[memekingofgotham]

I think i just got adopted not sure honestly im as lost as you

[riddle-meme-this]

I think I may have gotten adopted too? I'm just... confused. And I don't like it.

Is this what it feels like to be an idiot?

Am I an idiot?

Am I as unintelligent as all those around me?

Is everything always this cloudy?

Nope.

Must cause chaos. Must riddle. Must be clever.

[memekingofgotham]

Yeah that'll help be back in time for dinner

[greenlanternsucks]

Why do you keep trying to adopt Enigma? She's a villain.

Because she's a child who needs a stable home environment. Even if she never wants me to officially adopt her, I'm content knowing she knows she has somewhere safe to go if she ever needs that.

ALSO, impeccable fashion sense.

And she's my daughter's best friend

And I want another red haired kid.

[a-memeing-enigma]

uhhhhhhhhh

[memekingofgotham]

Im not sure how i feel about this

[a-memeing-enigma]

I think my current home environment is sorta stable...

[memekingofgotham]

Its at least as stable as a family of crime fighting vigilanties

[a-memeing-enigma]

And I can build myself lairs with fancy slide systems!

[memekingofgotham]

To be clear i mean stable in the metephorical sense the manor is probably more stable than the iceberg based lounge with fancy slide systems on it

Unless.. is the manor directly above the batcave because then i would say equal

[a-memeing-enigma]

"#i don't even know how I got the permits to build this thing"

You threatened the jobs and livelihoods of all the people who handed out permits.

And according to my research the manor is definitely above the batcave and the entire thing could come tumbling down at any moment. Particularly if explosives were involved.

[memekingofgotham]

Right forgot about that i should send them apology fruit baskets

Also please dont detonate the batcave I think they just adopted me

[a-memeing-enigma]

Because edible arrangements are the answer to everything.

How can they adopt you, you're an adult. Also I'm insulted that you think I would detonate the batcave... *hiding the detonator behind her back*

[memekingofgotham]

Well legally my age is a weird area technically i was born before him but im physically younger than him and legally i didnt exist before i entered the timeline so maybe thats it

[greenlanternsucks]

Why do you keep trying to adopt Enigma? She's a villain.

Because she's a child who needs a stable home environment. Even if she never wants me to officially adopt her, I'm content knowing she knows she has somewhere safe to go if she ever needs that.

ALSO, impeccable fashion sense.

And she's my daughter's best friend

And I want another red haired kid.

[a-memeing-enigma]

uhhhhhhhhh

[memekingofgotham]

Im not sure how i feel about this

[greenlanternsucks]

I'll adopt you too if that's what it takes!

[memekingofgotham]

Last time a kindly rich father figure invited me to join his family it didnt go great

[riddle-meme-this]

"#then again i know your family and they're a lot less murdery"

still very aggressive though

[greenlanternsucks]

Aggressively supportive :)

[riddle-meme-this]

"#watch it buckko #ill adopt you too"

Are you trying to adopt everyone in Gotham?

[greenlanternsucks]

If that's what it comes down to.

[riddle-meme-this]

Oswald, @memekingofgotham, my bestest friend ever, you're my human behaviour person, and the only one I ever address any queries about the universe to, so pray tell me, what the hell is going on?

[memekingofgotham]

I think i just got adopted not sure honestly im as lost as you

[greenlanternsucks]

Why do you keep trying to adopt Enigma? She's a villain.

Because she's a child who needs a stable home environment. Even if she never wants me to officially adopt her, I'm content knowing she knows she has somewhere safe to go if she ever needs that.

ALSO, impeccable fashion sense.

And she's my daughter's best friend

And I want another red haired kid.

[a-memeing-enigma]

uhhhhhhhhh

[memekingofgotham]

Im not sure how i feel about this

[a-memeing-enigma]

I think my current home environment is sorta stable...

[memekingofgotham]

Its at least as stable as a family of crime fighting vigilanties

[a-memeing-enigma]

And I can build myself lairs with fancy slide systems!

[memekingofgotham]

To be clear i mean stable in the metephorical sense the manor is probably more stable than the iceberg based lounge with fancy slide systems on it

Unless.. is the manor directly above the batcave because then i would say equal

[a-memeing-enigma]

"#i don't even know how I got the permits to build this thing"

You threatened the jobs and livelihoods of all the people who handed out permits.

And according to my research the manor is definitely above the batcave and the entire thing could come tumbling down at any moment. Particularly if explosives were involved.

[memekingofgotham]

Right forgot about that i should send them apology fruit baskets

Also please dont detonate the batcave I think they just adopted me

[greenlanternsucks]

Why do you keep trying to adopt Enigma? She's a villain.

Because she's a child who needs a stable home environment. Even if she never wants me to officially adopt her, I'm content knowing she knows she has somewhere safe to go if she ever needs that.

ALSO, impeccable fashion sense.

And she's my daughter's best friend

And I want another red haired kid.

[a-memeing-enigma]

uhhhhhhhhh

[memekingofgotham]

Im not sure how i feel about this

[a-memeing-enigma]

I think my current home environment is sorta stable...

[memekingofgotham]

Its at least as stable as a family of crime fighting vigilanties

[a-memeing-enigma]

And I can build myself lairs with fancy slide systems!

[memekingofgotham]

To be clear i mean stable in the metephorical sense the manor is probably more stable than the iceberg based lounge with fancy slide systems on it

Unless.. is the manor directly above the batcave because then i would say equal

[greenlanternsucks]

Why do you keep trying to adopt Enigma? She's a villain.

Because she's a child who needs a stable home environment. Even if she never wants me to officially adopt her, I'm content knowing she knows she has somewhere safe to go if she ever needs that.

ALSO, impeccable fashion sense.

And she's my daughter's best friend

And I want another red haired kid.

[a-memeing-enigma]

uhhhhhhhhh

[memekingofgotham]

Im not sure how i feel about this

[a-memeing-enigma]

I think my current home environment is sorta stable...

[memekingofgotham]

Its at least as stable as a family of crime fighting vigilanties

[greenlanternsucks]

*crime fighting legends 🙌

[memekingofgotham]

Right crime fighting vigilante legends