FAMILIAL INTERACTIONS ARE RARELY EASY: SOME SHIT PARENTS && THEIR CHILDREN SAY PROMPTS
remember to adjust for pronouns, pacing, wording, as you like !!!
“ This is the type of shit that’ll come back during therapy sessions. ”
“ Oh god, I’m becoming my dad. ”
“ Dad, that was cool during the dinosaur age. ”
“ Uh, nope. You guys are definitely the cool parents. ”
“ Daaad, we’re going to start watching without you! ”
“ You know, the legal drinking age in Europe is eighteen.”
“ Is this the sex talk? Wait, we’re having the sex talk? ”
“ God, you guys are so gross! ”
“ Yeees, I love you guys too. ”
“ I can’t live up to these impossible standards! ”
“ Playing up the disciplinarian role is such 20th century parenting. ”
“ Please don’t let the surprise be a little sister. ”
“ Is this supposed to count as quality family time? ”
“ Please, if I don’t get these sneakers I’ll be a social outcast. ”
“ Just let me wallow here in misery! ”
“ But everyone else gets to go! ”
“ Of course, I’d jump off a bridge with my friends. ”
“ Alright, so before you say no… ”
“ I said… Turn. It. Off. ”
“ Stop threatening people with hugs ”
“ No, you’ll give nana a conniption wearing that. ”
“ Is that a new hip trend? ”
“ Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little? ”
“ I would’ve said yes but your Mom said no… ”
“ Is that how you wear that these days? ”
“ Look at that, a B+! High-five. ”
“ Isn’t that how kids say it these days? ”
“ Didn’t I ask you to clean this up? ”
“ Why? Because I said so. ”
“ I asked you a question. ”
“ Well, I can’t wait for you to be a parent one day. ”
“ Would you jump off a bridge if everyone else did? ”
“ I’m giving you until the count of five. ”
“ Heartbreak sucks, but it’ll pass. Don’t you worry. ”
“ We can always foist them on the inl-aws for a weekend. ”
“ Well, if someone wasn’t spoiling them rotten… ”
“ So do you want to play good parent or bad parent? ”
“ Let’s be firm in our decision. ”
“ We’re not the lame parents. Are we? ”
“ Honey, have you seen my glasses? ”
“ The Johnson’s christmas card is better than ours. Every year! ”
“ We are not wearing that for halloween. ”
“ When we say they’re grounded then it should mean they’re grounded! ”
“ Look at us! We didn’t fuck them up. ”
“ What do you mean the PTA moms hate us? ”
“ Ha, see! Your old man’s still got it. ”
“ I thought the PTA meeting was next Wednesday? ”
“ Teenage love was never this dramatic for us, right? ”
“ …are we dong a good job? ”
“ Fuck, I’ve become my father. ”
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