Header notes: !!!! LONG POST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !!!! Person a - recieving the ask Person b - Another character / muse – Happy Holidays! Ya filthy animals!
> “Where’s my suitcase?” > “Who stole my hairdryer?” > “Come on down here!” > “[person a], [person b] won’t let me watch the movie, but the big kids can! Why can’t I? … It’s not even rated R! [person b pronoun] is just being a jerk!” > “Hang up the phone and make me, why don’t’cha?” > “How am I supposed to shave in France?” > “You don’t have anything to do? I’ve got something for you to do. You can pick up those micromachines that are all over in there? [person b] stepped on one and almost broke her neck!” > “Pack my suitcase!?” > “I don’t live here!” > “[person a] did you order the pizza?” > “All kids, no parents. Must be a fancy orphanage.” > “What am I supposed to do? Shake his hand and say congratulations you’re an idiot?” > “You’re what the french call les incompetents.” > “This house is so full of people it makes me sick! When I grow up and get married! I’m living alone!” > “You ever heard of the South Bend Shovel Slayer?” > “Oh, you just around for the holidays?“ > “…Somebody owes me $122.50.“ > “[person a], does Santa Claus have to go through customs?” > “[person a], you’re such a disease.” > “How come you didn’t bring more cheese pizzas?” > “There are 15 people in this house and you’re the only one who has to make trouble!” > “Everyone in this family hates me.” > “I hope you don’t mean that. You’d feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn’t have a family.” > “We slept in!” > “There’s no way we’ll make this plane. It leaves in 45 minutes.” > “11, including me. 5 boys, 6 girls, 4 parents, 2 drivers… and a partridge in a pear tree.” > “Champagne, please. It’s free, isn’t it?” > “I hope we didn’t forget anything.” > “I made my family disappear.” > “No clothes on anybody. Sickening!” > “It’s me. Snakes. I got the stuff.” > “Is that a fact? How much do I owe you?” > “Too bad Acey ain’t in charge no more.” > “Guys, I’m eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!” > “He’ll call you when he gets out. (Pause) Hey. I’ll tell you what I’m gonna give you, [person a]. I’m gonna give you to the count of 10 to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister off my property… before I pump your guts full of lead.” > “All right, [person a], I’m sorry. I’m going.” > “Keep the change, you filthy animal.” > “I have a terrible feeling.” > “It’s horrible, horrible. Just horrible.” > “If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses.” > “Come on, follow me.” > “I thought you said they were gone.” > “Hey, I’m not afraid anymore! I said, I’m not afraid anymore! Do you hear me? I’m not afraid anymore!” > “Has he been involved in a household accident?” > “I’m sorry, but there’s no way I can do that.” > “I took a shower, washing every body part with natural soap, including all my major crevices between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used creme rinse. I can’t find my toothbrush, so I’ll pick one up today. Other than that, I’m in good shape.” > “I’m a criminal.“ > “What’s so funny? What’s so funny? What are you laughing at? You did it again, didn’t you?” > “You’re sick, you know? You’re really sick.” > “Santy don’t visit the funeral homes, buddy.” > “We better get out of here before somebody sees us.” > “Attencion! Attencion! Look what I found in the kitchen.” > “You’re not at all worried something might happen to [pronoun]?” > “I’m desperate. I’m begging you.” > “Are those microwave dinners good?” > “I don’t get it. Right now, it looks like there’s nobody home. Last night the place was jumping. Something ain’t right.” > “ I don’t care if I have to get on your runway and hitchhike. If it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the Devil himself, I am going to get home to my [child’s pronoun].” > “I’m sorry, did you say you could help me?” > “Yeah, kids are scared of the dark.” > “Damn! How low can you get giving Chris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve! What’s next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?” > “My elf took the last of the candy canes home to her boyfriend.” > “You live next to me, don’t you?” > “You can say hello when you see me. You don’t have to be afraid.” > “There’s a lot of things going around about me, but none of it’s true. Okay? “ > “Well, this is the place to be if you’re feeling bad about yourself.” > “I said some things I shouldn’t have.” > “How you feel about your family is a complicated thing.” > “Deep down, you’ll always love [person b pronoun]” > “No offense, but aren’t you a little old to be afraid?” > “You can be a little old for a lot of things. You’re never too old to be afraid.” > “Okay, we’ll check it out first. We can always come back for the [incert type of vehicle].” > “The little jerk is armed!” > “I’m going to rip his head off!” > “Why the hell did you take your shoes off?” > “Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?” > “Down here, you big horse’s ass!” > “I’m not going out the window.” > “I’d like to slap him in the face with a paint can, maybe.” > “Come on. Let’s get you home.” > “I’m a bad parent. I’m a bad parent…” > “Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this.” > “You brought it up. I was just trying to cheer you up.” > “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.” > “I didn’t fall asleep in the back and drool all over you, did I?” > “ You’re all right. I love you. You okay?” > “It’s pretty cool that you didn’t burn the place down.” > “What did you do to my room!?”
