I Wanna Be A Dragoness

Just here for the ride 😌 -27- “Header is from Corsolanite: I take no credit”

[menacemaumau]

I miss how Tumblr used to be.

[terpsikeraunos]

ancient greek word of the day: κακοθερής (kakotherēs), unfitted to endure summer heat

[aphilologicalbatman-deactivated]

this literally means “bad at summer” pass it on

[zipstick]

Reblog if you, too, are bad at summer

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[elisecairo]

[rosslynpaladin]

Cats Copy. Hence the phrase copy cat. And this cat is clearly fond of this dog as a family member, and just now realized by observing:

"OH WAIT Human is making biscuits on this dog brother and it HELPS with his pain??? Hey I can do that!! I can do that too! Look! Biscuits!!"

[hollyevolving]

Veterinarian at the next follow up: "Dog is looking really good! But I'm concerned - with this kind of progress, it looks like Dog is getting HOURS of massage every day. If you work yourself into a repetitive motion injury, you won't be able to keep up with Dog's home physical therapy, and, you know, you'll be hurt, too."

Human: "I give Dog a massage for about 30 minutes a day. The rest is all Cat."

[warmhappycat]

Imagine disliking this animal. Poor taste. Reddest of red flags.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

thanks to tumblr the phrase "loyal eunuch" has entered my vocabulary and is being applied egregiously. phone got lost in the bedsheets and I murmured, instinctively, beloved eunuch where arst thou?

out loud. to my fucking phone. you people did this to me

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[writing-prompt-s]

Your fighting your insurance company because they say what happened wasn’t an act of god, and is therefore not their problem. All of a sudden a booming voice says “Sorry, that was totally me. My bad.”

[writing-prompt-s]

Humans are livestock to vampires, of course. But there are laws governing the treatment of livestock. They must be fed and housed and enriched and cared for. Vampires who break these laws are the ones “free-range” humans usually hear about.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

curious as to whether ao3 had an uptick in traffic yesterday...

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

delighted to learn there is an increase in ao3 traffic corresponding annually to christmas, thanksgiving etc. truly the "meaning of the holidays" is about reading porn to cope with being stuck indoors with relatives

[sentientsky]

repeating this to myself forever and ever

[i-am-a-fish]

merry jerry everyone 🎁🎄 :)

bring us some figgy pudding ohhuhhn,. bring us some figgy pudding

Bring us some figgy pudding :)

and bring it. right here :)

[thefloatingstone]

[i-am-a-fish]

[thefairytaler]

since I know for a fact survival theft will be going up this month, do not steal from Target, they have some of if not The highest end security measures in place, even if they don't call you out on your first theft, they know you did it, and they're waiting until you've stolen enough to get the law involved.

I am dead serious. Do not fucking steal from Target, you Will be caught.

[thefairytaler]

There are many many many many many many many employees and other entities confirming this and providing sources in the notes, but I will do so Again.

The Hidden Side of Target: Surveillance, Policing, and a Call for Scrutiny | KPFA

On a recent episode of Hard Knock Radio, host Davey D sat down with Minneapolis-based educator and freelance journalist Marjaan MJ Sirdar. T

Why Target Is the Worst Store to Shoplift From

If we were to give any tidbit of advice to any would-be shoplifters (aside from the Golden Rule that you never, ever steal from mom-and-pop

Target uses 4 security hacks to catch every thief - how it knows you're stealing

KNOWN for its tagline “Expect More, Pay Less”, Target takes its safety seriously and uses security hacks to catch people stealing from its s

What You Need to Know About Target's Security Measures

Discover crucial information about Target's extensive surveillance system. With over 250 cameras monitoring their stores, learn why attempti

[insectapologist]

Target provides facial recognition software to the Minneapolis Police Department. Not the other way around. Don't fuck with Target.

[segamascott]

Why the fuck are you 30+ on tumblr

this is my house?

[grungixfungi]

[writing-prompt-s]

"Your son will take your throne from you," they prophesized, spitting each word out of teeth clenched tight with hatred. Why they'd bother prophesizing such an event befuddles you; your son is literally your chosen heir, after all.

[caffeineatedpervert]

I wave my hand a little as I speak to my son "now listen okay. Obviously your going to be king. But! I don't want you to be fuckin around with failed prophecys, hell I don't want to screw with that. Wizards are weird and bitter. So here's what we're gonna do okay, on your eighteenth birthday, your going to to over throw me and "take" the crown, Ill train you more rigourlsy in swordsmanship so we can have a dramatic battle"

My son sighs, resigned and long suffering "dad I don't think we have to do all that. Wouldn't me just.... taking the crown out of your hands count?"

I shake my hand and wave him away "nonono I won't risk I heard of a man that went through something similar and he got turned inside out. Still alive, just having a terrible time. That's not the kind of life I want for my son, I won't risk it. Besides, don't you want to spar with your old man? Really give to me? You could brush up on your planning when it's time for your coup!"

My son sighs

[menacemaumau]

A long long time ago I turned on notifs for @thetomska, and now he is the sole reason I come back here, to my roots, to endlessly get sucked into tumblr again…

[funnytwittertweets]

[makaeru]

Related: at a neuroscience conference I was at once there was a talk on how the "microslippages" against your fingertip when you lightly pinch something are generally enough for you to work out exactly how much force to grip it with to lift it without crushing it or dropping it.

[trasno-personal]

[ID/A tweet by Cliff 🦖 [dinosaur emoji] Jerrison (@ pervocracy) saying "one of the most amazing things a human brain can do is when you shake an opaque bottle and get an idea of how full it is by how the weight shifts. there's got to be incredible math going on under the hood there" /End ID]

[broken-horn-of-equius]

What about tosses? What about catching? THATS some serious math right there too

[un-interactive-introvert]

Theres a post somewhere about how the human brain is just constantly doing advanced calculus, even if we dont understand the math, we are still very good at consepsualizing it

[kaviiinsky]

LOVING PHYSICS HOURS!!!

[the-composite-doll]

So storytime from retail

So a common sale was Arizona Iced Teas in cans, 2 for a dollar. People would buy literal *cases* of their favorite flavor.

Once I was ringing up the cans for someone, who had like six. The cans were green.

I was a bit distracted ringing and putting cans in bags, engaging properly.

Grabbed a similarly sized and colored can of pringles. Brain did not register. Hand just went high up because Pringles weigh nothing compared to Arizona can

We all laughed but science tumblr what math error happened??? What was the error message in the brain?

[what-even-is-thiss]

“Cats don’t actually love you”

A cat is a small creature in the middle of the food chain that is fully aware that you are a very large thing that could stomp its head in at any moment and yet it chooses to rest its tiny little head on your leg for a nap and spreads out on the floor near you exposing its belly and its most sensitive organs. It brings dead mice and bugs to you to share food.

Don’t you get it? This tiny thing trusts you. It wants to help you too. It licks your leg thinking that it’s helping. It kneads on you to find comfort. It shares its body warmth with you in the cold and gives you your space in the heat. It hisses at other mammals it sees outside including other cats in an effort to protect its family.

Cats love you so so much. But they will keep trying to eat plastic.

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

OP: so this is the ‘intense regional downpour’ on the weather forecast

[heroineimages]

I love when the weather says 'fuck you, get soaked,' to a single mile-wide or square-mile piece of land.

[syrupyyy]

this kills me

[fallout-lou-begas]

happy ‘this fruity number?’ friday

[faggy-dog]