And, you know, to attach some more serious analysis to a mid-day âhey their outfits are kinda similarâ teir shitpost-
Something thatâs easy to overlook/forget because of SUâs saccharine branding is that the non-steven Crystal Gems are genuinely kinda ruthless bastards in the face of genuine threats; they live in an entirely different genre from Steven at the start of the series, and they react to Lapis Lazuli with basically the same vitriol and violence that SUâs detractors often ask for. They would have probably âcrushed her headâ in the heat of battle if she hadnât so massively outclassed them, and thereâs no question theyâd pulverize Burnscar with a similar lack of hesitation if she were to attack Beach City. The show is idealistic; the characters arenât. You could drop the non-Steven Gems into Earth Bet and theyâd attune to the two-faced dirty-deeds-done-in-alleys cape culture without missing a beat.Â
But! Steven Universe is a fantasy show, and one of the elements of the fantasy is that everyone who suffers and does terrible things as a result gets to have a second chance. To enable that you need secondary fantasy elements, like, say, absolutely nobody dying when a leviathan-level hydroshaker abducts the ocean, or the thousands of people who were killed and experimented on being starfish aliens who can be painstakingly reassembled, reanimated, and given an eternity to heal mentally and physically, and no humans being permanently killed in the (contemporary) crossfire, and all the doomsday weapons deployed with intent to kill are disarmed in time, and so on and so forth. Itâs a kids show so casuality is allowed to contort like that.Â
But worm, with the Slaughterhouse 9 and honestly with most out-and-out villainous characters, does have a very similar âwhat a waste of human lifeâ factor going on. Everyone there is coming from some kind of massive pain, most of them are, like, arrested in their emotional development as children or teens- theyâre agentic in their evil and their current terrible circumstances- just like Lapis and Jasper!- but the book is clear that theyâre not unpitiable figures. Now, Worm also has a much stronger grasp of the kind of bodycounts in play and also the actual willingness of the layman to forgive and forget such things, and so when things finally do line up for a member of the nine to have a redemption arc itâs only after a set of convoluted circumstances, sheâs one of the only ones to make it out despite the nine having many equally-pitiable figures, and sheâs still hated and feared, and rather than magically flipping the switch from âmaladjustedâ to âokayâ itâs very clear that Bonesaw is good now literally only because itâs the right thing to do, god knows she didnât make any friends by flipping and sheâs not enjoying herself very much.
But I look at the nine, and I see- you know, theyâve got these simplistic trauma-response motivations, they arenât really materially benefiting from anything theyâre doing, being in the 9 is in many ways its own continuous punishment, and god help me. Sand down their on-screen presentation a little and theyâd work pretty well as Steven Universe villains.Â
They roll into town. Jack is very obviously pulling all their strings and egging on their worst impulses. Some of them are visibly afraid of him the second he turns his back to address someone else. They cause a lot of property damage and take a hostage or two but things play out so that nobody actually dies, despite everyoneâs best efforts. Gradually Steven and company start serendipitously hitting upon chinks in the emotional armor of outlying members like Hatchet Face and Burnscar, who kinda got pressganged to begin with. Cracks form in the group. Crawler eventually semi-defects on the condition that the gems just systematically lay into him with every piece of esoteric weaponry they have, and eventually someone correctly diagnoses him as seeking power through violence and self-harm so that heâll never be emotionally vulnerable again. Greg crashes his van into Mantonâs and the two of them bond over lost loved ones. Someone (maybe Jasper) gives Shatterbird a dressing down about how sheâll never truly be free until she recognizes that her hopeless devotion to Jack is an exercise in futility, and then Jack himself says or does something boneheaded that puts the final nail in the coffin. Bonesaw gets the Spinel treatment. Mannequin is treated like a corrupted gem, a product of pain and rage that can nonetheless be subdued and healed. Jack sheds allies until he stands alone, pathetic but incorrigable, and he flees town nonetheless claiming the upper hand, bluebird style. Crucially they still killed thousands of people in this hypothetical. Just, you know, not on screen. And not anymore! Also thereâs a musical number when the arrive (when shatterbird glassbombs everyone) and then a reprise at the end (everyone sucks air in through their teeth when Shatterbird is about to do her solo but nothing bad happens this time)
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