[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

I wish you were here

To see the cigarette smoke

Dispersing gently into the darkness

Visible for merely a second

Under this dim starry sky

I wish you were here

To breathe in the night’s air

Cold lips

I would hold you tighter

Never letting go

I wish you were here

Inside is too cold

Too empty and dark

The silence screams louder

Than this creaky old house

I wish you were here

This bed is too big

To hold me alone

This bed is too small

For all the sadness I carry

I wish you were here

I know it’s just one night

A night I will never forget

They won this time

And I am scared this will never end

I wish you were here

Its my fault you’re gone

But I can’t tame these thoughts

Nor the poison that drips heavily from these lips

I know I am killing you

I know you deserve better

Yet I still just wish you were here

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

I hope you wake up every day

Knowing

You are my most prized possession

most days

You are the only thing I can look forward to

The only one that makes me smile even for a second

And on my worst days

You are the match in my midnight cave

Giving me warmth and light

Even in my darkest hours

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

It’s 3am and I’m worried I’m not what you want

You are curled up next to me

And I know everything in this moment

It’s telling me I’m insane for allowing my mind

To just run off on its own into the darkness

But it happened so fast

It ran like the wind in the opposite direction

My body is so tired of chasing it

Now I am just a vessel for the darkness

These thoughts keep creeping up on me

Your touch is sheilding me

But how long will this last?

And at what cost?

I hope you can be strong for me forever

But there was also a time

I once thought I could be that for myself

But I shattered into a million pieces

You keep sweeping me back up

And glueing me back together

Will you ever get tired of the mess I am?

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

Are your words from your experiences?

Majority of them yes

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

I’ll just inhale the faded perfume

You left on your side of my bed

Caught in the sheets

The ones that are usually tangled around us

Get me higher than a satellite

And I’ll hope you don’t forget me on your flight

I wish I hadn’t washed you off of me the other night

I still have our memories

But you could not get close enough

Before your trip to far, far away

Then suddenly

There is too much space between us

And I know we are both used to space

But I’m still here counting down the days

Until I get to see your face

Kiss your lips

Grip my fingertips onto your hips

Breathe you in until my last breath

Fuck

Don’t ever leave me alone like this again

My heart aches for you

When will you be home

I can’t get you out of my head

Louder for the people around the world

Including you

Honey, you take my fucking breath away

Even when you are far, far away

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

Just kiss my neck

Baby, mark me as your territory

Leave the night sky on my skin

Your stars will tell a different story

And I’ll want everyone to read it

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

There’s just something about you

That’s different from anyone I’ve ever met

For instance

I hate engaging in eye contact

But I’ve caught myself getting lost in your eyes

And last night I got to put my hands on you

I felt your curves and hips

And I couldn’t stop thinking about your lips

What do you taste like?

You kept tugging on my shirt collar

If you had put your ear to my chest

You could have heard my heart I swear

Over the crowd of people and the music

I felt your fingertips exploring

They were soft on my neck

All I wanted to do was kiss yours

For the record, You’ll always make me a wreck

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

Maybe someday she will love you

And maybe

she will see you when she takes off her glasses

Not just through the bottom of her bottle

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

Hydra never stopped at the stars in night skies

She left journals of her own constellations between thighs

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

Sweet poison kisses

Bring chills to my lips

Fueling the fire in my throat

There’s something I have to say

But first I need to wash away this pain

Alcohol filled trenches

These cuts bleed harder than yesterday’s

This may be a mix of prescriptions speaking

But I think I’ve fallen out of love

Out of life

The boat is leaving without me

This ship has sailed

This poison begins to taste like salt water

And the light at the end of the tunnel dies

No more dancing light beams in my drifting dreams

Drifting into darkness

But maybe that’s just how life seems

Find me at rock bottom

Where my spirits lie

Stripped from sugar plum fantasies

And brought to where happiness goes to cry

Drowning in water

Yet feeling so dry

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

You threw dirt on my name

Now I’m six feet under

With mother nature’s hands around my neck

Yet you still kissed me goodbye

Although I was already gone

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

The shoe fits

But I refuse to be your Cinderella

Please do not drape frills upon my shoulders

I beg to stop growing

Let this prepubescent life consume me

Allow my peers to disown me

Fuck it, they will at any given moment

I have no 7’s, Queen’s, Ace’s or Three’s

This deck of cards does not suit me

Shards of reflective glass fall to my feet

Maybe this new puzzle will help me show the world

What truly lives inside of me

But your people disregard how many of us are feeling fucking lonely

I am not my mother’s perfect daughter

Nor my father’s favourite son

I am the middle child

Stuck in a limbo

Between who you see me as

And who I will become

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

Sometimes when I’m tired I feel sick

Translation

Sometimes I think no one gives a shit

Happy thoughts and moments

Just dont seem to click

As I stand before you on this stage tonight

I feel anxious

Sweaty hands gripped around a mic

These people here with me are dangerous

These goblins in my brain

Called insanity

Strip me from this room and take me far away

With the other monsters in the cage

Try to make me fit in with all humanity

I’ve had people call me worthless

Including my reflection

Engraved it on my wrist

And they’ll say it’s for attention

I hear people say they love me

But that’s not what echoes off the walls

It’s the guy in the back of my head

Screaming about how it’s all my fault

Everyone must just be waiting for me to fall

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

You are

Engraved in my brain

These things

Will never hurt the same

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

The relationship between ocean and shore

The beaches lie in their own beauty

Allowing waves to shatter

Crash upon them

Silent chaos

And like sugar in your morning tea

Or rain water disappearing into ocean ripples

I don’t want to drown

I want to dissolve

Silent chaos

We don’t talk about

The ocean slowly tearing apart the land

Where the two collide

We don’t talk about

The mentality of today’s generations

The poison toxifying all life deep within

Where mind meets body

Silent chaos

We dont talk about the damage we cannot see

The world has darkness

But we focus on the pretty

Allow it to conquer its own silent chaos

Which to sum things up

Is pretty shitty

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

It was only supposed to be a back rub

And I would have taken the couch

That is, if you had asked me to

I pray you dont think I had bad intentions

You asked me to come lay with you

And you quietly snuck closer

One leg slid softly over mine

Sending sparks up my spine

But my stomach was startled

When you lay your head on my shoulder

Soft fingertips danced gently on my arm

You looked exhausted from the drive

Rolled over trying to relax

And I wanted to help you feel better

I guess I caught your attention, thats for sure

I traced your back to your arm

Even your stomach

At this point you had been facing me

Sweet copper eyes fixated on mine

What were you thinking?

I could hear your breathing patterns shift

It may have looked like I was not alert

But I had been focused on you

Since I had seen you 10 o’clock this morning

I could feel the electricity shooting through you

Your back had been arching

Especially when I touched that spot

Almost uncontrollable

Synchronized with each breath

So I tested out the waters

My thumb buried just under your panty line

And on the inside of your thighs

You gasped excitedly under your breath

I could almost hear your smile

I squeezed your hips slightly

And had felt you push up against me

I guided my fingertips to a familiar place

I could feel your warmth from outside

I applied pressure and heard your moans slip

I lingered outside and avoided what you wanted

Finally i went under and you felt so soft

Warm and wet

I teased your lips

They had been begging for a kiss

I spread them slowly

And burrowed inside

Your hands gripped tightly on the sheets

You squealed quietly as you exhaled

As your back arched, I slid in deeper

I kissed you for the first time in months

Your lips were as soft as I remember

Still just as tight too

I pulled out and stripped your shorts off

You took your shirt off

Revealing a lacey red bra

It didn’t take long before that came off too

I felt you through my jeans

As you kissed me harder

Your hands around my waist and back

Discovering my skin with your nails

I left trails of kisses down your body

Loitering in areas along the way

Until I reached my destination

You called me a tease

And pushed me where you wanted it

My hands pulled you closer

So I could access deeper

You hadn’t been able to keep quiet

And I snuck my fingers in at the same time

You got louder

couldn’t keep your hands off of me

Your legs were twitching wildly

And you were wetter than ever

You whispered to me between moans

Do you remember what you said?

I will for a very long time

Your muscles tensed around me

Keeping me in position

I had cleaned up the mess I made

And you made it clear I was done

But It had been so long for us

And this hadnt been long enough

[mentallyunstableandmadhatter]

We got to examine each other

Or puzzles were quite identical

I had a few missing pieces

As did you

But by chance

We both had the pieces

That the other had been missing all along

We just couldn’t figure it out

How to complete the bigger picture