DEADPOOL SENTENCE STARTERS
feel free to change pronouns/names and censor as needed !
❝ he is as dishonorable as he is attractive.
❝ love is a beautiful thing. when you find it, the whole world tastes like daffodil daydream.
❝ how about a crisp high five?
❝ i’ve never said this, but don’t swallow.
❝ here, protein bar. good for bones.
❝ what the shit-biscuit?!
❝ and yeah, technically this is a murder.
❝ some of the best love stories start with a murder.
❝ you need to seriously ease up on the bedazzling. they’re jeans, not a chandelier.
❝ i’m living to 102 and then dying, like the city of detroit.
❝ what’s a nice place like you doing in a girl like this?
❝ it’s like i made you in a computer.
❝ life is like a train wreck with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness.
❝ you’re clowning. you’re not clowning? i sense clowns.
❝ i’m about to do to you what limp biskit did to music.
❝ i’m gonna boombox careless whisper outside your window.
❝ you sound like an infomercial, but not a good one. like slap chop. more shake weight-y.
❝ i had a liam neeson nightmare. i dreamt i kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn’t having it.
❝ i wasn’t talking to you, i was talking to them.
❝ i’m all about long sullen silences followed by mean comment, followed by more sullen silence.
❝ i don’t wanna see that or think of it again.
❝ this is not gonna end well for you, no.
❝ ikea doesn’t assemble itself, you know.
❝ i wish i never heard of craigslist.
❝ you think ryan reynolds got this far based on his superior acting method?
❝ you can’t buy love, but you can rent it for three minutes.
❝ that’s the shit emoji, you know it’s the turd with the smiling face and the eyes?
❝ i was gonna spend the night assembling the borje but this is holding my interest.
❝ i told you we’re going with the urvaj not the borje, get it through your head or get out of fucktown.
❝ it’s me, deadpool and i’ve got an offer that you can’t refuse.
❝ my romantic rival, bandhu, he’s tied up in the trunk.
❝ she’s gonna do a superhero landing, wait for it.
❝ four or five moments. that’s all it takes.
❝ you, chicken noodle. nothing compares to you.