Post corrections/clarifications are my favorite genre of humor: a compilation

Andulka
One Nice Bug Per Day
Cosmic Funnies
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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roma★
todays bird
sheepfilms
trying on a metaphor
NASA
🪼

Janaina Medeiros

PR's Tumblrdome
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DEAR READER
hello vonnie

Product Placement
styofa doing anything
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blake kathryn

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@mercyfullkate
Post corrections/clarifications are my favorite genre of humor: a compilation
got told at lunch "you feel like Tumblr Incarnate" and i had to tell them i've been here for 13 years and counting. i was here three years before dashcon happened. i saw the mishapocalypse. i survived the gigapause. i've been here longer than the shoelaces post. i've been here since it was hipsters versus fandom and i played both sides extensively by overdoing the sepia filters on everything and making my own flashing galaxy gif edits for my fandom posts. i'm every tumblr. it's all in me
Oh ancient one what wisdom do you hold?
99% of callout posts are bullshit and just petty personal drama someone is escalating to get even on a grudge. do not engage with these, do not freelance as a cop
DNIs do not work. accept this. internalize that people you don't like will see your posts and engage with them. this is unavoidable and the sooner you make peace with it the freer your mind will be. block the freaks and don't sweat the small stuff
building a tight knit circle of fellow weirdos who vibe with your particular quirks and taste is infinitely more rewarding and sustainable than chasing the biggest numbers
don't respond to bad-faith arguments or bad takes; just block people, blacklist tags, filter post content, and move on. don't feed the trolls (or the bigots)
don't hate-follow
don't tag your hate (ex. if you're posting about how much you hate a ship, don't tag it as that ship, etc.)
don't feel obligated to keep following someone who posts stuff that upsets/depresses/angers/bores you just because you know them really well, or because you're mutuals, or because you used to like what they post. following is nothing personal and neither is unfollowing
op doesn't know you; avoid parasocial relationships
don't pick fights or reblog posts just to disagree/argue
spread joy and positivity in your circles
disable anonymous asks
This is some of the best social media advice (and advice for being a human among humans generally) I've ever seen.
Box that says "actors that played vampires" and a box that says "actors that played priests" and a very small box in the middle that says "DANGER: ACTORS WHO PLAYED BOTH" and we have to be very VERY careful with that box
fairytales which tell you to be both kind and clever fairytales that say to be kind is to be clever and to be clever is to be kind fairytales that say the cleverest thing you can ever do is choose kindness and that cruelty or thoughtlessness are always foolish but not kindness never kindness
you bring oil for the gate and food for the dog and clean out the oven and bake bread in it and the oven will hide you and the dog will not betray you and the gate will stay open for you and close on your pursuers, to be clever is just to know that if you are good in a world made of rules, goodness will be returned to you.
So I want to say something here that's worth mentioning:
The internet as we know it today is completely un-navigatable without an adblocker of some form. It's likewise completely unsafe. While an adblocker won't prevent user-end actions that lead to viral compromise, the situation is so fucking dire that even the fucking feds recommend you use an adblocker.
I was/still am an IT professional for longer than some of you reading this have been alive. Putting an Adblocker on a clients computer, regardless of if it's consumer grade or corporate, is the first thing I do. Most ad blockers allow you to white list websites in order to avoid having to deal with shit like what Youtube is doing.
Youtube is preying upon consumer ignorance of white listing in an effort to generate revenue via Youtube Premium. It's fucking dumb as hell, and it's going to directly lead to another wave of compromised systems across the board.
Do not be misinformed. Ad blockers absolutely are a necessary part of the modern internet usage. Please read the wiki on your adblocker of choice (I recommend Ublock Origin) and read up on whitelisting. Don't fall for this fucking scam Youtube is pulling, and most certainly don't stop using your Ad Blocker.
I actually don't think that Premium is the goal here—I think the goal is to get as much user data as possible regardless of whether or not they're paying customers. I have a very good reason for believing this.
See, I have Premium, and I have for like four years. I am exactly what you would assume they want all users of the platform to be. I pay monthly for access to a handful of features that I find useful, and they don't serve me ads at all.
I still make sure to block all tracking cookies whenever possible, because I'm not using the Internet strictly for YouTube, and I'm not in the business of allowing myself to be tracked all across the web when I can avoid it.
A couple weeks ago, YouTube stopped working for me entirely. After having it running in the background more or less all day while I was drawing, it suddenly stopped loading anything but the skeleton.css stylesheet, which looks like this:
Nothing here is clickable, it's literally just a bunch of static graphical elements. I couldn't access my account, settings, anything. I was completely locked out of the service.
I did some digging, and found out that this is one of the things that happens when the anti-adblock protocol catches up to uBlock Origin and shuts down people who refuse to remove that protection. But...I have Premium. The platform doesn't serve me ads at all. There is absolutely no reason for them to block my access to the platform.
Still, I tried turning uBlock Origin off, and it didn't change anything. Weird.
Eventually I got ahold of someone in tech support, and I was told to do the following:
Stop using Firefox, reinstall Chrome, and only use that to access YouTube. This is because that is apparently the only browser that is "truly compatible" with the platform, and if I'm using another one then they can't promise that it will work. (This is a lie, and after a half hour of back and forth with the agent she admitted it, linking me to a page showing all compatible browsers, among which Firefox is prominently listed.)
Completely uninstall any adblockers I have on any browser that I use, because having them at all could cause YouTube to block my access. I was not told to whitelist YouTube, I was told to completely uninstall the extensions on any and all browsers, and then try to access the platform again. This kind of explains the fact that turning UBO off didn't work—the implication here is that my account was flagged as having an adblocker active, even on an alternative browser, and the account itself would be blocked until they were removed.
I was told that unless I completed both of these steps—and these were the first troubleshooting steps offered to me, as a note—then we wouldn't be able to move forward with the tech support process. Literally, if I did not do these things, the agent would not even attempt to provide any more help. I basically told her that was unacceptable, and we went back and forth for a while longer. She told me that adblockers are not a form of Internet security, so removing mine would not leave me vulnerable to anything, and told me to install Chrome an additional four times. I told her that I was not going to install Chrome. She told me that we couldn't move forward unless I carried out every step she instructed me to do in order to fix the problem.
I told her that I was sorry if I seemed nasty, but it seemed like she had no intentions of actually offering any help and was just following a script telling her to make me install Chrome—and that she needed a better script. Her response was "I'm sorry I don't have better news for you," and that ended the conversation.
Again, one more reminder, I have Premium. I am not being served ads at all. That didn't matter, I was still instructed to uninstall those extensions outright, and refused assistance or access to a platform I pay for unless I agreed to do so.
Want to know how I got the platform to load again?
I manually turned off JUST the tracking cookie blocker.
They don't care about users' money, they care about users' data. They care about knowing what you are doing and where you're doing it, even when that information isn't being used to serve ads.
Anyway I cleared my cache/cookies, updated the extension, logged out, restarted Firefox, manually turned the tracking blocker back on, and logged back in. It's worked fine since then.
Your purpose in life is not to love yourself but to love being yourself.
If you goal is to love yourself, then your focus is directed inward toward yourself, and you end up constantly watching yourself from the outside, disconnected, trying to summon the “correct” feelings towards yourself or fashion yourself into something you can approve of.
If your goal is to love being yourself, then your focus is directed outward towards life, on living and making decisions based on what brings you pleasure and fulfillment.
Be the subject, not the object. It doesn’t matter what you think of yourself. You are experiencing life. Life is not experiencing you.
Thank you this is the first post about self love that hasn’t made me want to throw things
I think it’s funny when fans are shocked people saw mcr in 2005 for $20… like yeah you too can go see a future world famous band at a local venue for $20 right now
It seems some people are interpreting this as meaning that it’s impossible to see certain bands for this price these days? While yes you’re correct what I’m saying is that you never know who is gonna blow up so at one point every artist has $20 tickets. Also normal priced tickets are definitely still a thing if you don’t primarily see artists that are super famous. 95% of the shows I go to are under $50
You can literally be on the ground floor of seeing the next big band right now if y’all would go to local shows. The amount of insanely talented bands out there that play to empty rooms is a travesty. Go support local bands rn
Sometimes I wonder why cats love boxes so much and then I remember how when I was 9 my parents got a new fridge and made the mistake of letting me take the box and three days later they had to lure me out with hot dogs and remove it from the house while I wasn't paying attention.
As per my last post, if yall arent aware — Cait Corrain, the author of the upcoming Crown of Starlight made a bunch of fake accounts on Goodreads to review-bomb other debut authors, almost entirely BIPOC, with 1 star while 5-starring her own book. She also added traditionally published debut authors to a list derogatorily labeling them as "self-published" hacks. She went after random books that are Greek mythology retellings, like her own is, and again targeted BIPOC authors. She even targeted my good friend RM Virtues, who is an indie author who writes queer Black Greek myth reimaginings.
Many of those she attacked were people who considered her a colleague and friend. She's tried to spin a lie about how she's being framed by someone from her Reylo fandom days, but Reylos have disproven that already.
Cait allegedly liked to brag about how her publisher treated her like royalty, and she had a massive Illumicrate deal. Her book was also getting favorable advanced reviews and had a beautiful cover, so she had nothing to be jealous of. She's potentially destroyed her career due to racism alone. Do not buy her book and do not support her.
Here is a thread if you want specifics and here is the 31-page doc of evidence.
Considering what happened, it's a major oversight to leave those impacted by Corrain unmentioned. It leaves them nameless victims and we ought to be supporting them.
So Let Them Burn - Kamilah Cole
The Poisons We Drink - Bethany Baptiste
To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods - Molly X. Chang
Voyage of the Damned - Frances White
Mistress of Lies - K.M. Enright
Gods of Hunger series - R.M. Virtues
Xiran Jay Zhao coverage: pt1, pt2, pt3.
This is the standard winged nightjar and it has one singular stupidly big feather on each wing... if you even care.
Love this guy
That’s standard as in “pennant” or “banner”, not standard as in “normal”.
But it’s not a pennant-winged nightjar. THIS is a pennant-winged nightjar… if you even care.
can’t forget the Lyre-tailed Nightjar! there’s actually a number of these ridiculous guys, and they’re partly why caprimulgiforms are some of my favorite birds
also the Sickle-winged Nightjar, which is. come on, that’s just a weird moth
Everyone does care about nightjars 🥹
Because you care so much:
nightjars are so called because they make a jarring (aka discordant, surprising) noise, at night.
Standard-winged nightjar is a perfectly readable English phrase.
But if you pay a little more attention, you can unpack it into
Bird that makes a surprising noise at night: variation with flying rectangular flags on its wings
You guys forgot the great eared nightjar, which looks like a little dragon.
You guys forgot the
great eared nightjar, which looks like
a little dragon.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
These are all excellent little dudes. I approve.
there’s this post going around that’s like ‘what if alien languages had pronouns that didn’t include gender information!’ and there’s about five different enthusiastic replies and like, i get the excitement but i’m begging you to learn about languages other than english
An incomplete list of languages that don’t have gendered pronouns (based on what people mentioned in the notes/tags:
Mandarin Chinese (spoken)
Cantonese
Japanese (they exist but are rarely used)
Korean
Indonesian
Malay
Tagalog
Swahili
Xhosa
Farsi
Turkish
Armenian
Finnish
Hungarian
Estonian
Sámegiella (& most other Sami languages)
Yaqui
ASL
Let’s be real here, English is highly unusual among languages in having grammatical gender align so precisely with the social concept of gender. In many other languages, not only do you get “masculine” or “feminine” inanimate objects, but you also get words that are gendered socially that don’t take the grammatical gender you expect. German Mädchen “girl” is neutral. Latin virtus “manliness” is feminine.
KiSwahili and isiXhosa arguably do have grammatical genders—more than a dozen of them. None of them have anything to do with the social concept of gender. In the Dyirbal language of Australia, there are four genders: “masculine” (which includes most animals), “feminine” (which includes fire, water, and violence), fruit, and miscellaneous.
Non cooking spray stick
Non spray stick cooking
elon musk had a third child with grimes that he kept secret until the release of his biography. he named it techno mechanicus
can you imagine being an adult nepo baby at a company your rich dad invested in and having to walk into the boardroom first day like. hi everyone. my name is techno mechanicus
I can tell this is fake because "techno mechanicus" doesn't start with X
OH SON OF A BITCH
I haven't been reblogging this post because I genuinely assumed you guys were Goncharoving a nepo baby
Sometimes writing is like having an enormous lake in your head, and you want to get it out of your head and into a proper place for a lake so other people can come and go swimming and ride jet skis and stuff, except all you have to move the lake is a teaspoon. So you’re just sitting there frantically flinging water out of the lake with your teaspoon and telling people, “Guys, this lake is going to be so cool when it’s done,” but it will never be done. There is so much lake.
one tectonic plate approaching another
“so are you a top or a bottom?”
two tops? you get a mountain. two bottoms? VALLEY BRO
i don’t know anything about geology
Are you (Mg,Fe2+)2(Mg,Fe2+)5Si8O22(OH)2?
I had to google that and i swear to fuck I will kill you
alright this is fine
Good post everyone hit the showers
[Image ID: Tweet from pea poopingirl @/PoopingIRL on 8/14/23 - i think the idea of a shady dwarven salesman selling "cheap" stuff to humans and laughing to himself like "heh it will only last one generation, those stupid idiots, how will they even pass it down to their kids" forgetting that one dwarf generation is like 4 human ones is funny. There's a black bar at the bottom with an iFunny watermark in the corner. End ID.]
Elf ea-nasir selling mithril armor that will last no more than 1,000 years getting death threats from his fellow elves but doing numbers w/humans
Actually, I really like this idea as why elven and dwarven crafts are so good. Something that’s merely acceptable is meant to last most of one of their lifetimes. So even a mediocre dwarven craftsman will make something a human can pass down.
And you can always sell what the apprentice makes while still learning to a human, letting them know it will merely last for the rest of their life.
The elven version of IKEA could be a human family heirloom.