McGonagall, you're not gonna fucking believe this...

Conversing with the Giant Squid. Slytherin, Arbiter of Classic Literature, Writer, she/her. I'm the funniest person I know.

[merlinsbbeard]

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[artemisia-black]

Weaponising boredom: a parallel between Sirius and Phineas Nigellus

There is a particular bored register both Sirius and Phineas Nigellus reach for when they want to signal that a situation is beneath them. In both men it is a performance, reached for precisely when they are most engaged. Watching them deploy it side by side reveals how much of Sirius's affect is inherited, and how differently the two men wield the same tool.

1.0 Phineas: boredom as aristocratic contempt

Phineas uses yawns to display aristocratic disdain. But in every instance, there is a tell that he is keenly engaged. The boredom is a mask worn over contempt, and it never substitutes for genuine interest.

"Visit my other portrait?" said Phineas in a reedy voice, giving a long, fake yawn (his eyes travelling around the room and focusing upon Harry). "Oh no, Dumbledore, I am too tired tonight..." OoTP

And:

"Phineas Nigellus gave a long yawn, stretching his arms as he watched Harry with shrewd, narrow eyes." OoTP

In both cases, the yawn is juxtaposed against sharp, focused eyes. The languid body performs indifference while the watchful gaze betrays it. The yawn is theatre, undercut by the attention behind it.

That mismatch sharpens when Phineas reads Harry with uncomfortable accuracy. It is the precision of someone who has clearly been watching closely ( an acuity he shares with Sirius).

"You know," said Phineas Nigellus, even more loudly than Harry, "this is precisely why I loathed being a teacher! Young people are so infernally convinced that they are absolutely right about everything." OoTP

He lands the read, then retreats into examining his silk gloves while Harry begs him for information. That retreat is the weapon. It recasts the boy's suffering as a social imposition rather than a real emergency. For Phineas, ennui is a wall he raises between himself and anything that might obligate him.

2.0 Sirius: boredom as armour

Sirius reaches for the same register, but with him, it develops over time.

As a teenager in Snape's Worst Memory, he stares around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored and here, the boredom is an inherited default. It is the Black-family posture he wears without thinking, the studied disaffection of a boy raised to hold himself above the room. The narrative even frames it as attractive, "very handsomely so," which is how the pose is meant to land, and on the surface, it is indistinguishable from Phineas's yawns (perhaps the only difference is how deliberate it seems). 

But by Azkaban, this has changed. The same posture has become something he actively wields, and he wields it under real duress. Fudge's account of his prison visit shows this clearly.

"You'd have thought he was merely bored — asked if I'd finished with my newspaper, cool as you please, said he missed doing the crossword. Yes, I was astounded at how little effect the dementors seemed to be having on him..." PoA

And the performance is effective. The boredom does more than unnerve Fudge; it frightens him. A prisoner sitting rationally in his cell, asking after the crossword, untouched by the dementors that reduce every other inmate to a muttering wreck, reads to Fudge as far more dangerous than a broken man. The composure itself is what alarms him, because it looks like proof that Azkaban has failed to touch Sirius at all, and this is precisely the effect the mask is engineered to produce.

But Sirius is deeply affected by Azkaban; while the performance holds up in front of Fudge, the damage shows elsewhere. As even in ordinary, unguarded moments, the harm sits visibly in his face (particularly his eyes) with Harry frequently describing the: 

“ the deadened look in Sirius’s eyes,”  GoF

And observing in GoF that: 

“Sirius looked at him, eyes full of concern, eyes that had not yet lost the look that Azkaban had given them — that deadened, haunted look.” GoF

Therefore, beneath the composure is a man permanently marked by the horrors of Azkaban and when in PoA he is cornered by the lake and facing the kiss, the performance collapses entirely. 

"Sirius had turned back into a man. He was crouched on all fours, his hands over his head. 'Noo,' he moaned. 'Noooo ... please. ...'" PoA

The man who "missed doing the crossword" is the same man reduced to begging on the lakeshore. The boredom in Azkaban was the last piece of dignity he had left, performed hard enough to convince the Minister for Magic that Azkaban had not won.

3.0 Conclusion 

While the surface behaviour of the two men is identical: the drawl, the haughtiness, the refusal to seem affected, the intent behind it differs. Phineas performs boredom because he genuinely holds himself above the situation, and the mask conceals the engagement he will not dignify. Sirius performs it defiantly as the mask conceals the pain he cannot afford to show. And both men clearly learned the same trick in the same house.

[neverenoughmarauders]

Who were students at Hogwarts alongside the Marauders?

This is a question I used to see quite a lot, and it's an interesting problem to try to tackle, because the answer is that lots of people could have overlapped, some probably did, and some we know definitely did. Equally, there were lots of people that probably didn’t, but are treated as given characters in Marauders fics. Which is fine, of course, but this post will focus exclusively on canon*, and not fanon.

*I will include extended canon in terms of Pottermore and WOM (Wizard of the Month), but I won't include Hogwarts Mystery, or any other video games. I will also not be including the movies (ie no Emma Vanity nor the Talkalots and Laughalots). I hate the movies, so sorry, not sorry.

Currently, this is just a brain dump, and might be missing candidates and arguments. But this is what I’ve got so far.

The core crew and their birthdays

There’s really no need to go into who the Marauders, Lily and Severus were, but listing them here for reference:

Sirius Black—3 Nov 1959

Severus Snape—9 Jan 1960

Lily Evans—30 Jan 1960

Remus Lupin—10 Mar 1960

James Potter—27 Mar 1960

Peter Pettigrew—Unknown except year: 1959/1960

Students we know were at Hogwarts between 1971-1978

Either in the Marauders’ year, or might very well have been in the Marauders’ year:

Stebbins (b. 1 Sep 1959-31 Aug 1960)

Present in the same O.W.L. exam scene as the marauders, Lily and Snape.

“Quills down, please!” squeaked Professor Flitwick. “That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! Accio!” 

Likely a relation of Stebbins who attended the Yuleball in 1994:

“Ten points from Ravenclaw, Fawcett!” Snape snarled as a girl ran past him. “And ten points from Hufflepuff too, Stebbins!” as a boy went rushing after her.

Tilden Toots (b. 1959)

Tilden Toots was a wizard with “three green thumbs” who hosted a Wizarding Wireless radio show on Herbology. He was married to the author Daisy Hookum

Here is a transcript of the ‘wireless’ radio program [Rowling's original website JKR.com: Toots, Shoots and Roots]:

Hello and welcome back to “Toots, Shoots ‘n’ Roots” with me, Tilden Toots. Mrs. Georgina Smyth of Nettlebed in Oxfordshire has sent an owl with an all too common problem. Dear Tilden, I’ve not watered my Flitterbloom for several months and now when I need to use it in a potion I find it’s died. I’ve threatened it with a number of curses but it refuses to revive. What would you recommend? Well Georgina, a combination of my famous Rejuicing and Regerminating potions ought to do the trick. Six drops of the red Rejuicer followed by three drops of the green Regerminator will be the breath of life to a plant beyond the reach of blackmail. Unfortunately, that’s all we have time for today. But, be sure to tune in next time when we’ll be discussing the right way to skin a Gurdyroot and what to do if muggles hear your Honking Daffodils. Until next time, that’s Tootle-oo from Toots!

Gaspard Shingleton (b. 1959)

Gaspard Shingleton was the celebrated inventor of the Self-Stirring Cauldron.

Greta Catchlove (b. 1960)

Was a witch who wrote the original edition of Charm Your Own Cheese

Students we know weren’t in the Marauders year, but were at school with them

Regulus Black (b. 1961)

Sirius’s younger brother. Attended Hogwarts from 1972/73–1979/80. Was sorted into Slytherin. Turned Death Eater before he had a change of heart.

Sirius jabbed a finger at the very bottom of the tree, at the name REGULUS BLACK. A date of death (some fifteen years previously) followed the date of birth.  (...) “Yeah,” said Sirius. “Stupid idiot ... he joined the Death Eaters.”  (...) “and when he was sixteen years old, Master Regulus joined the Dark Lord. So proud, so proud, so happy to serve ..."

The change of heart was born from not being prepared for the realities of being a Death Eater, and the fact that Voldemort was prepared to kill Kreacher

Hayleyhaha: Why did Regulus have a change of heart?  J. K. Rowling: He was not prepared for the reality of life as a Death Eater. It was Voldemort's attempted murder of Kreacher that really turned him..

Bertha Jorkins (likely b. ca 1955-57)

Bertha Jorkins is described to be a few years above James and Sirius. Sirius doesn’t use the term “a couple of years”, so I think it’s safe to assume she’s about 3-4 years older than them. 

“Listen, I knew Bertha Jorkins,” said Sirius grimly. “She was at Hogwarts when I was, a few years above your dad and me. And she was an idiot. Very nosy, but no brains, none at all. It’s not a good combination, Harry. I’d say she’d be very easy to lure into a trap. (…) Instantly, a figure rose out of it, a plump, scowling girl of about sixteen, who began to revolve slowly, with her feet still in the basin. She took no notice whatsoever of Harry or Professor Dumbledore. When she spoke, her voice echoed as Snape’s had done, as though it were coming from the depths of the stone basin. “He put a hex on me, Professor Dumbledore, and I was only teasing him, sir. I only said I’d seen him kissing Florence behind the greenhouses last Thursday. ...” “But why, Bertha,” said Dumbledore sadly, looking up at the now silently revolving girl, “why did you have to follow him in the first place?” 

Sturgis Podmore (between Sep 1956 and Sep 1957)

Sturgis is the only Order of the Phoenix member we know went to school with the Marauders, Lily and Snape, and I will fight for his inclusion in more fics. He’s likely to be in the class of 1968–1975 (unless he’s born on September 2nd or something). 

It was headlined: Sturgis Podmore, 38, of number two, Laburnum Gardens, Clapham, has appeared in front of the Wizengamot charged with trespass and attempted robbery at the Ministry of Magic on 31st August.

Lucius Malfoy (Between Sep 1953 and Sep 1954)

Father of Draco Malfoy and Death Eater in both the first and second war. He’s 41 in September 1995:

“‘I feel much easier in my mind now that I know that Dumbledore is being subjected to fair and objective evaluation,’ said Mr. Lucius Malfoy, 41, speaking from his Wiltshire mansion last night.

And we catch a glimpse of him when Snape and Lily start Hogwarts:

And Severus Snape moved off to the other side of the Hall, away from Lily, to where the Slytherins were cheering him, to where Lucius Malfoy, a prefect badge gleaming upon his chest, patted Snape on the back as he sat down beside him

Narcissa Black (1955)

Mother of Draco Malfoy; youngest sister of Bellatrix and Andromeda. We have her year of birth from the Black family tree, as drawn up by JKR. While often portrayed as a prefect in fanfiction, we do not know anything about her years at Hogwarts, other than her being a Slytherin: 

“My whole family have been in Slytherin,” [Sirius] said.

Mulciber (likely around 1957-1962)

Mulciber is one of the many future Death Eaters Snape hangs around, and one of two Lily focuses on in their fifth year:

“We are, Sev, but I don’t like some of the people you’re hanging round with! I’m sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber, What do you see in him, Sev, he’s creepy! D’you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?”

Mulciber might be known for the use of the imperious curse, and for the murder of the McKinnons.

“Yes!” said Karkaroff. “There was Travers — he helped murder the McKinnons! Mulciber — he specialized in the Imperius Curse, forced countless people to do horrific things!

We don’t know if it’s him or his older relation who was at the Hogshead waiting for Voldemort to return from his meeting with Dumbledore.

“Then if I were to go to the Hog’s Head tonight, I would not find a group of them — Nott, Rosier, Mulciber, Dolohov — awaiting your return? Devoted friends indeed, to travel this far with you on a snowy night, merely to wish you luck as you attempted to secure a teaching post.”

Though we don't know how old he is, he is unlikely to be in his earliest years when he attacks Mary Macdonald. Most likely, he’s around Severus’ age. However, it is interesting that Lily and Severus are arguing about Mulciber and Avery in their fifth year, in a way that makes it sound like it's not something that's come up a lot before. It is possible that Mulciber and Avery are a year older or younger than him, and it's someone he's recently started hanging out with. Or, in fact, that they're in the same year but still only recently started to hang out with them. 

The earliest he can be born, given he’s at school in 1975-76 is 1957.

Avery (likely around 1957-1962)

I’m going to put Avery around the same age bracket as Mulciber, for the same reason. 

Barty Crouch (likely b. ca 1963-1965)

Barty Crouch Jr was brought to Azkaban at the age of about 18-19 (no more than nineteen)

“That’s right,” said Sirius, and he didn’t look remotely amused now. “I saw the dementors bringing him in, watched them through the bars in my cell door. He can’t have been more than nineteen. They took him into a cell near mine.”

As elaborated on in this meta, the arrest and trial took place some time between 1982-1984, meaning Barty Crouch Jr was likely born between 1963 and 1965.

Florence (likely b. ca 1955-1957)

Assuming Bertha is three to four years older than the Marauders, Snape and Lily, and she’s sixteen in that memory, we can assume Florence was caught kissing someone between 1971-1973. She might have been the Marauders’ age but it seems very unlikely given the kissing (and especially considering the boy was able to hex Bertha, who—though stupid—is 16 at this point.) It’s far more probable she was a few years above the boys, just like Bertha. It’s also noticeable Bertha uses Florence’s first name, suggesting they know each other, which again supports they’re about the same age.

“He put a hex on me, Professor Dumbledore, and I was only teasing him, sir. I only said I’d seen him kissing Florence behind the greenhouses last Thursday. ...”

Gilderoy Lockhart (26 January 1964)

We know quite a bit about this most charming (or not) DADA teacher from Pottermore (including this archived web version). 

Born to a witch mother and a Muggle father, with two older sisters, Gilderoy Lockhart was the only one of his parents’ three children to show magical ability. 

There’s a lot of background on Gilderoy and his time at school, which I suggest you read on the website, including these highlights:

He lobbied the Headmaster to start a school newsletter, because he liked nothing better than to see his name and photograph in print. Never very popular, he nevertheless achieved his primary goal of school-wide recognition through repeated, attention-getting exploits. He received a week’s worth of detentions for magically carving his signature in twenty-foot-long letters into the Quidditch pitch. He managed to create a massive, illuminated projection of his own face, which he would send skywards in imitation of the Dark Mark. He sent himself eight hundred Valentine’s cards one year, which caused such a pile-up of owls in the Great Hall that breakfast had to be abandoned (far too many feathers and droppings in the porridge).

Dirk Cresswell (between Sep 1960- Aug1961)

Dirk was a muggleborn student in the year below Lily who became head of the Goblin Liaison Office.

Slughorn looked down at him in surprise. “You mustn’t think I’m prejudiced!” he said. “No, no, no! Haven’t I just said your mother was one of my all-time favorite students? And there was Dirk Cresswell in the year after her too — now Head of the Goblin Liaison Office, of course — another Muggle-born, a very gifted student, and still gives me excellent inside information on the goings-on at Gringotts!”

Daisy Hookum (1962)

Daisy Hookum wrote bestseller My Life as a Muggle after giving up magic for a year. She was married to celebrity gardener Tilden Toots.

Tarquin McTavish (1955)

Tarquin McTavish was a wizard who imprisoned his Muggle neighbour inside a tea kettle. He was sent to prison for this act.

If you want an older Slytherin antagonist, he’s definitely one to consider.

Lorcan d'Eath (1964)

Lorcan d’Eath is a very popular part-vampire singer whose song “Necks to You” spent nineteen weeks in the Number 1 slot.

Glenda Chittock (1964)

Glenda Chittock is a popular presenter of the W.W.N. (Wizarding Wireless Network) program Witching Hour.

Students we don’t know (even the approximate) the age of, but we know were at school with them

Davey Gudgeon

Davey Gudgeon was a student at Hogwarts at some point from or after 1971, who overlapped with the Marauders, Lily and Severus. 

“They planted the Whomping Willow the same year that I arrived at Hogwarts. People used to play a game, trying to get near enough to touch the trunk. In the end, a boy called Davey Gudgeon nearly lost an eye, and we were forbidden to go near it. No broomstick would have a chance. 

Mary MacDonald

Mary MacDonald was a Gryffindor student at Hogwarts in 1975-1976, but she could have been anything from a first year to a seventh year. Because she was targeted by a future Death Eater, it’s assumed she’s muggleborn (it’s also a fairly common last-name that don’t otherwise appear in canon), but this is never confirmed.

“We are, Sev, but I don’t like some of the people you’re hanging round with! I’m sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber, What do you see in him, Sev, he’s creepy! D’you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?”

Bertram Aubrey

Bertram Aubery overlapped with the Marauders, Lily and Snape at school, and James Potter and Sirius Black landed in detention for having used an illegal hex upon him. While I think it’s safe to assume James and Sirius might not have been in their earliest years of their magical education, we’ve got no further information about how old Aubrey was, or how old the boys were. Or anything else, really. 

He pulled out a card from one of the topmost boxes with a flourish and read, “ ‘James Potter and Sirius Black. Apprehended using an illegal hex upon Bertram Aubrey. Aubrey’s head twice normal size. Double detention.’ ” Snape sneered.

Wilkes & Rosier Jr

Wilkes and Rosier Jr* are part of the group we’re told hung out with Severus at school, meaning it’s very likely** they went to school with the Marauders. 

“Rosier and Wilkes — they were both killed by Aurors the year before Voldemort fell. The Lestranges — they’re a married couple — they’re in Azkaban. Avery — from what I’ve heard he wormed his way out of trouble by saying he’d been acting under the Imperius Curse — he’s still at large. But as far as I know, Snape was never even accused of being a Death Eater — not that that means much. Plenty of them were never caught. And Snape’s certainly clever and cunning enough to keep himself out of trouble.

*Rosier Jr should not be confused with Evan Rosier, who was killed after July 1981 (likely after Voldemort’s fall as part of the round up of capturing the Death Eaters), who we learn about in The Pensieve chapter in GOF.

**I’ve got to caveat that it’s possible they didn’t go to school together, because Sirius also highlights Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange. Bellatrix, at least, had graduated by the time Snape started school. However, without any other information, it’s fairly safe to assume Snape went to school with Avery and Wilkes.

Students that might have been at Hogwarts between 1971-1978

There needs to be some canon evidence for them to be considered here. Otherwise we’d end up with a very long list indeed.

Andromeda Black (b. between 1952-1954)

As the middle child, she’s born between Bellatrix (1951) and Narcissa (1955), and might have overlapped with the Marauders, but only if she was born late enough (September 1953 or later). Her daughter was born between 1 September 1972 and 31 August 1973, which is worth factoring in when considering how old Andromeda is for any given fic.

Rabastan Lestrange & Rodolphus Lestrange

We don’t actually know (I don’t think) when Rabastan and Rodolphus Lestrange were born. It’s noticeable that Sirius didn’t bring up Rabastan when listing the DEs Snape hung out with. Maybe Rabastan never attended Hogwarts? Maybe he’s even older than Rodolphus? Maybe Rodolphus is younger than Bellatrix and overlapped with the Marauders at school? Maybe Sirius confused Rabastan and Rodolphus when talking to the trio? Or any other guess, really. 

Kingsley Shacklebolt

Kingsley Shacklebolt may have overlapped with the Marauders. He was not part of the first order, but he recognised a lot of James in Harry, suggesting he knew James. Considering James had very little time between school and Order and going into hiding with Harry and Lily, many take this to believe he went to school with the boys.

“Yeah, I see what you mean, Remus,” said a bald black wizard standing farthest back; he had a deep, slow voice and wore a single gold hoop in his ear. “He looks exactly like James.”

Quirinus Quirrell 

While it is possible to take Quirrell statement as an argument that he wasn’t at school with James and Snape (“He was at Hogwarts with your father”, not “we”), there’s no reason for Quirrell to put himself into that dialogue. The point is that Snape and James were at Hogwarts together, and hated one another. How did Quirrell know this? Possibly Hogwarts gossip. But possibly he observed it for himself.

“Oh, he does,” said Quirrell casually, “heavens, yes. He was at Hogwarts with your father, didn’t you know? They loathed each other. But he never wanted you dead.”

Furthermore, we know he used to work at Hogwarts, then he took a year off to gain practical experience (suggesting he went straight from being a student to becoming a professor), before coming back as a DADA teacher. 

At this stage it turns into speculation, but it seems unlikely he would have worked less than three years at Hogwarts before taking a year off, and it feels equally unlikely he would have waited more than ten years. If he worked for six years or more before taking a year off, he would have overlapped with the marauders. (If we worked for six years before taking the sabbatical, he would have graduated in 1984, meaning he would have started in 1977, and would have overlapped by a year with the Marauders)

Fabian and Gideon Prewett

Molly Weasley is born in October 1949. If her brothers were younger than her, they could have overlapped with the Marauders, Snape and Lily. 

For either or both of them to overlap with the Marauders, they would have to graduate from Hogwarts at the earliest in 1972, which would put either or both of their birthdays between Sep 1953 - Aug 1954, or later. 

In other words, if either of her brothers, or both, were roughly four years younger, or more, they would have overlapped with the Marauders, Snape and Lily.

Note: Nowhere in canon is it suggested that Fabian and Gideon are twins. They might have been. But it's just a theory.

Alice and Frank Longbottom

Frank and Alice have a son Harry’s age, but unlike Lily and James, they worked as Aurors and were well respected:

“They were Aurors, you know, and very well respected within the Wizarding community,” Mrs. Longbottom went on. “Highly gifted, the pair of them. I — yes, Alice dear, what is it?”

Now, it’s possible that some of this respect came about after Voldemort’s fall, as per my meta that explains why they were likely attacked between 1982-early 1984, but likely they were active as Aurors for some years before they decided to have a baby. For the sake of the argument, let’s put two years as qualified Aurors as the minimum number of years before Alice gets pregnant, late 1979. That puts her and Frank at graduating Auror training in 1977 at the latest (and of course it’s possible either or both did it much earlier than this). Assuming the standard three years of Auror training, that means the latest they could have graduated Hogwarts is 1974. 

“Well, you’ll need to demonstrate the ability to react well to pressure and so forth,” said Professor McGonagall, “perseverance and dedication, because Auror training takes a further three years, not to mention very high skills in practical defense. It will mean a lot more study even after you’ve left school, so unless you’re prepared to — ” 

Which puts them in the window of possibly overlapping with the Marauders.

It's also worth noting that it is possible that the Auror training was cut either entirely or at least partially because of the war, which could put them closer in age with the Marauders. But then again, it's also absolutely possible (if not probable) that they were a fair deal older than the boys and Lily.

Gwenog Jones

I am going to ignore the Hogwarts Mystery stuff, but we know she was a favourite of Slughorn, and we know she is still active as the Captain of the Holyhead Harpies in 1996, suggesting she overlapped with Slughorn's final few years, which possibly puts her in the window together with the Marauders.

“All ex-students, all signed. You’ll notice Barnabas Cuffe, editor of the Daily Prophet, he’s always interested to hear my take on the day’s news. And Ambrosius Flume, of Honeydukes — a hamper every birthday, and all because I was able to give him an introduction to Ciceron Harkiss, who gave him his first job! And at the back — you’ll see her if you just crane your neck — that’s Gwenog Jones, who of course captains the Holyhead Harpies. … People are always astonished to hear I’m on first-name terms with the Harpies, and free tickets whenever I want them!”

[merlinsbbeard]

Merlin’s Masterlist

MICROFICS

THE TALES OF PRINCE HARRY AO3, words: 539, rated G, part 23 of Microfics series, for Jilymicrofics January 2026.

Harry gets a little pushy while playing at Arthurian make-believe.

WHILE THE VILLAGE SLEEPS AO3, words: 541, rated G, part 22 of Microfics series, for Jilymicrofics March 2026.

A snowy Winter's night means tobogganing with the Potters.

ANATOMY OF A FLOWER-GIRL AO3, words: 124, rated G, part 21 of Microfics series, for Jilymicrofics February 2026.

A poetic account of Lily, probably written by James at some point, probably in his textbook.

THE WHISTLE-STOP BROOM AO3, words: 368, rated T, part 20 of Microfics series, for Jilymicrofics January 2026, language warning.

Lily did not consider herself a graceful flyer by any extension of the term. It'd been six years since she took those compulsory flying lessons in first year and just as long since she'd even thought about touching a broom. Now, her boyfriend James had convinced her to let him teach her the basics. 'It'll be fun,' he'd said.

MALADROIT MALADY AO3, words: 1.2k, rated T, part 19 of Microfics series, for jilychallenge February 2025, content warning: blood and injury.

Maladroit adjective inefficient or inept; clumsy Malady noun • literary a disease or ailment

A PASSIONATE APPRENTICE AO3, words: 151, rated G, part 18 of Microfics series.

A portrait of Lily Evans.

SO BRING US SOME PLUMMY PUDDING AO3, words: 2.6k, rated G, part 17 of Microfics series.

In which James Potter adores Christmas.

HOMEBREW AO3, words: 1.3k, unrated, part 16 of Microfics series.

James Potter rushes Lily Evans to the Hospital Wing after she ingests a love potion.

A HOMMAGE TO IMMORTALITY AO3, words: 378, rated T, part 15 of Microfics series.

Lily and James struggle to say goodbye (even for a short while) after a recent head injury.

WHEN WE BECAME I AO3, words: 214, rated T, part 14 of Microfics series, CW: mentions of death.

George Weasley deals with the death of his twin brother.

AIN'T NO REST FOR THE SLOSHED AO3, words: 547, rated T, part 13 of Microfics series, for allthosedarlings Prongs Party 2023.

James Potter's seventeenth birthday celebration in the Gryffindor common room, featuring one particular redhead and lots of alcohol.

BOOK SPINES UNDER STORMING SKIES AO3, words: 134, rated G, part 12 of Microfics series.

Short and sweet microfic of Lily and Petunia.

PITY TAKEN AO3, words: 999, rated T, part 11 of Microfics series.

Remus sits in the shadow of self-inflicted misery while everyone around him enjoys the last rays of the sinking sun, his brain refusing to evict his fruitless crush on a certain siren-like boy.

UNDER UNSEEING EYES AO3, words: 162, rated G, part 10 of Microfics series.

Lily's best friend, Dorcas Meadowes, knows her better than she would have expected.

GOING DUTCH AO3, words: 188, rated G, part 9 of Microfics series, for Jilymicrofics March 2023.

A sweet exchange amid sour hour rivalry.

WITCHY WOMAN AO3, words: 393, rated T, part 8 of Microfics series, for Jilymicrofics March 2023.

The young Potter family enjoy an early Winter evening in the lounge room of their cottage in Godric's Hollow.

WILD GARLIC & RIBCAGES AO3, words: 360, rated T, part 7 of Microfics series, for Jilymicrofics March 2023, content warning: implied/referenced torture.

In which James and Lily encounter potential danger on a far-flung order mission.

PHEROMONE AO3, words: 81, rated T, part 6 of Microfics series.

Lily and James wake up in each others arms.

BUCKING BROOMS & BLOODY BLUDGERS AO3, words: 1404, rated T, part 5 of Microfics series, for Jilymicrofics February 2023, content warning: head injury.

The final Quidditch match of sixth year lands James in the Hospital Wing.

ALLASSO AO3, words: 215, rating: G, part 4 of Microfics series, for Jilymicrofics February 2023.

Lily Evans finds an unfamiliar comfort in James Potter.

TEMULENTUS ALIQUIS AO3, words: 222, rated T, part 3 of Microfics series, for Jilymicrofics February 2023.

Lily is intoxicated by the thought of James Potter.

A MOMENT'S REFUGE; PLUVIOPHILE AO3, 2 chapters, words: 243, rated G, part 2 of Microfics series, for Jilymicrofics January 2023.

James and Lily find themselves caught in a storm without an umbrella.

LAZY AFTERNOON AO3, words: 273, rated T, part 1 of Microfics series, for Jilymicrofics January 2023.

In which Lily's daydreams become real—almost.

MACROFICS

OF FIGS AND FIB TREES AO3, 6/20 chapters, 28.5k words, rated M.

August, 1977. Mr and Mrs Evans are out of town, Petunia lives to flaunt her newly acquired relationship with Vernon Dursley, and Lily wants nothing more than to give her a taste of her own medicine. Thanks to some cruel trick from the universe, or perhaps fate, the perfect opportunity to do so arrives on her doorstep in the body of one James Potter.

FINNIAD: STRIKING HEARTS AO3, 6/20 chapters, 13k words, rated M.

Twelve boys and twelve girls are forced to appear in a live event called The Hunger Games. There is only one rule: kill or be killed. When fourteen-year-old Finnick Odair is reaped, he makes the ultimate sacrifice in order to return home.

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL AO3, 7/15 chapters, 24k words, rated T, co-creator: @uncertainwallflower.

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. And the students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry have very small minds, indeed. Lily Evans is flung into the vicious cesspit that is the Hogwarts Dating Scene. Filled with boys and Quidditch parties and Firewhisky and friendly inter-house relations and tears and mean girls and public displays of affection—gag.

[tedwardremus]

Hedwig's Greatest Catch

For @abihastastybeans and @blitheringmcgonagall

“Turn this stupid fat rat yellow!”

Ron jabbed Scabbers with his wand.

Harry leaned forward eagerly, expecting some dazzling display of magic. Instead, a white blur shot through his eyesight.

“Hedwig!”

Before either boy could react, the snowy owl landed squarely in Ron's lap, snatched Scabbers in her talons, and launched herself back into the corridor.

“My rat!” Ron shouted.

“Hedwig, no!”

The two boys burst from the compartment and sprinted after her down the length of the Hogwarts Express.

“I can't believe Harry Potter's owl ate my pet!” Ron yelled.

“I'm sorry!” Harry shouted back. “I don't know why she's doing this!”

Students poked their heads out of compartments as they raced past. Laughter, pointing fingers, and confused shouts followed them down the train.

Harry could feel his face burning. This was ridiculous. He desperately hoped Hedwig wasn't actually eating Scabbers. If she was, Ron might punch him. Or worse.

Harry imagined himself being sent home before even reaching Hogwarts.

Sorry, Professor. My owl murdered a rat. The story sounded ridiculous in his head.

The Dursleys would never let him hear the end of it.

“Ronald!” A pompous voice cut through the commotion.

“You should not be running on the train!”

“Harry Potter's owl is eating Scabbers, Percy!” Ron shouted over his shoulder.

They neared the end of the train car just in time to see Hedwig swoop toward the end of the carriage.

Then everything happened at once.

Ron crashed into Harry.

Harry crashed into Hedwig.

Hedwig slammed into the wall.

There was a loud crack.

For a moment, Harry thought they'd broken part of the train.

Then he blinked.

Instead of a rat dangling from Hedwig's claws, a short, balding man in shabby robes was sprawled across the floor.

Hedwig was furiously pecking his head.

“Scabbers?” Ron asked weakly.

Harry stared.

“Is it normal for rats to turn into men in the wizarding world?”

Ron shook his head. “No.”

The man scrambled backward on all fours, wild-eyed and trembling. He looked around frantically before his gaze landed on Harry.

His expression turned to horror.

“James?” the man squeaked.

“No,” Harry said. “I'm Harry.”

The man swallowed hard and then he bolted. He darted into the nearest compartment and immediately began struggling with the window latch.

“Is he trying to jump out?” Ron asked.

“He knew my dad's name,” Harry said, a strange feeling twisted in his stomach.

“Stop!” Ron shouted, grabbing the man's robes. “What did you do to my rat?”

The man yanked free with ease. Unfortunately for him, he threw himself backward at exactly the wrong moment.

CRACK.

His head connected with the window frame. He collapsed instantly.

Ron and Harry looked down at the unconscious man.

Then at each other.

“I don't think that's what the spell was supposed to do,” Harry said.

“No,” Ron agreed. “Definitely not.”

By the time they arrived at the train station, Hagrid was gathering the first-years.

“First years! Follow me!”

Harry hurried over.

“Hagrid, there's an unconscious man on the train.”

Hagrid blinked.

“A what?”

Harry quickly explained.

“Well, I'd better talk ter the conductor. He can send a message ter Professor Dumbledore.”

Soon, Harry found himself crossing the dark lake with the other first-years. The illuminated castle rose above them, magnificent and impossibly large.

When they reached the shore, a tall witch with square glasses was waiting.

“Hagrid,” she said. “Professor Dumbledore received your message. Please take the first-years to the Great Hall. I will escort Mr. Potter to the Headmaster's office.”

Harry's stomach dropped. This was it, he was being expelled.

He'd barely been at Hogwarts five minutes, and already his owl had apparently attacked a man who used to be a rat.

Professor McGonagall led him through winding corridors until they reached a stone gargoyle. Waiting beside it stood a tall wizard with a long white beard and a purple pointed hat.

“Welcome to Hogwarts, Mr. Potter,” he said warmly. “I understand you had an eventful journey.”

Harry stared at his shoes.

“I'm sorry, sir.”

“On the contrary, Mr. Potter.”

The old wizard's expression became grave.

“I believe I owe you an apology.”

Harry looked up.

“Sir?”

“I have just had an opportunity to speak with the man found aboard the train. His presence reveals that I have made a very serious mistake.”

“I don't understand.”

“No,” Dumbledore said quietly. “I suspect you do not.

“I am about to tell you the story of a man named Peter Pettigrew, who, until this evening, we believed to be dead. I am also going to tell you about a man named Sirius Black, who has spent the last ten years imprisoned for Pettigrew's murder.”

Dumbledore paused.

“And, Mr. Potter, I am afraid both of those men have a great deal to do with your father.”

[thevulturesquadron]

[constancezin]

For @jilychallenge

My partner is @formerlympp

And the prompt

"A knight request a token before the jousting tournament begins and receives it."

It's more a Robin Hood than a knight but he got some apples.

[merlinsbbeard]

The Tales of Prince Harry

For @jilymicrofics January prompt: gallant Words: 539

Harry gets a little pushy while playing at Arthurian make-believe. Read on AO3 or below the cut

The sunroom of the cottage in Godric’s Hollow was almost too bright in the mid-morning. Light shone unobstructed through the Georgian sash windows, illuminating the thin skin of Lily’s eyelids, which were closed as she lay draped over the olive day bed, turning her vision to a russet glow.

She reached up a hand to shield herself but was immediately met with an opposing force; two small hands had grabbed her by the arm and manoeuvred it back onto her lap where the fresh-cut blush rose was laying.

‘Mum,’ Harry reprimanded her. ‘You’re meant to be the sleeping princess. Sleeping princesses aren’t supposed to move around.’

‘And you’re the gallant prince who’s come to rescue her,’ James said, swooping Harry up to spin him in the air. ‘All hail Prince Harry, Knight of Camelot.’

‘HAIL,’ Harry roared in his raspy, child’s voice, pumping a fist into the air and setting his shining silver helm off-kilter.

Recently they had been reading Harry to sleep with The Tales of King Arthur, and so his costume of rudimentary chainmail, thick wooden sword and red surcoat with a golden, roaring lion (which had been fashioned from one of James’s old, school guernseys) had made frequent appearance around the house, at the greengrocers and in the local playground.

‘And, Dad, you can be the squire,’ said Harry as his bare feet returned to the floor.

‘Why of course, my young prince. This squire will accompany you through the realms of evil.’ James raised his own wooden sword and squinted daringly at the open toy cabinet, the still blinds, the curled corner of the rug.

‘Can a princess get a prince to bring her an eye mask around here?’ Lily said from the day bed.

James jutted his wand over his shoulder, and a satin eye mask came zipping through the open sunroom door at full speed. Then, catching its elastic band on the door handle, it wriggled and tugged, stretching desperately towards the Summoner until Harry took the liberty of collecting it. Hurrying over, he stretched the elastic unevenly over his mother’s head, her titian hair puffing in the back.

‘Thank you, Harry,’ she said as she laid her head back against the cushion.

‘Shhh!’ Harry put a finger to her lips. Then, satisfied with her pressed-lip compliance, he turned back to his father. ‘Onwards, now, to slay the foul beast,’ he said and trotted out of the room and down the corridor, sword aloft.

The moment was rare and within reach. James, taking full advantage, planted a deep kiss on Lily’s unsuspecting lips.

‘Isn’t the prince supposed to be the one to kiss the princess awake?’ she whispered.

‘Not in this fairytale,’ James whispered back, his breath against her ear sending goosebumps along the flank of her body.

Distantly, there was a crash and a shrill YEOWL!

‘Oh, Harry, leave the cat alone,’ Lily called, voice biting James’s still-close ear.

‘But it’s not a cat. It’s a dragon!’ Harry’s voice sailed in from somewhere in the kitchen or dining room.

Lily lifted the purple mask from one piercing eye, which fixed itself on James.

A beat.

‘I’m gonna go save our son from the dragon,’ said James.

‘Mhm,’ Lily hummed and resumed position.

[jilymicrofics]

✨THE REVEALS ✨

Thank you to all our fabulous participating authors this year! We can now reveal who created which work: Deerstalker by @annabtg

Evidence by @sophie-hatter-jenkins

A Portrait of a Young Family by @tedwardremus

the sign of four by @neverenoughmarauders

self preservation of a goldfish by @sapphireleo

quiet and loud by @exalthia (Rebeccaseal)

Be sure to go and give each of these authors some love on their fics! A huge round of applause goes to @merlinsbbeard, neverenoughmarauders, SapphireLeo, annabtg, and sophie-hatter-jenkins for a clean sweep of correct guesses! No one could hide from you clever detectives 🕵️

[merlinsbbeard]

Call me Inspector Merlin from now on

[tedwardremus]

The street was ordinary, the sort of street where nothing interesting ever happened. Privet Drive sat in neat rows of identical houses with polished windows, trimmed hedges, and spotless driveways. But Harry stood at his bedroom window watching it with fierce anticipation, tapping excitedly against the glass and bouncing on the balls of his feet.

So far, the most exciting thing to happen all morning was a bird landing in the neighbor’s tree.

The Dursleys were leaving for a long weekend at the seaside with the family of one of Uncle Vernon’s colleagues, and as always, Harry had been informed he was not invited on the family holiday.

Which were Harry’s favorite words in the world to hear. Because whenever the Dursleys went away on their wonderful trips and weekends, Harry got to leave Privet Drive, too.

Harry pressed closer to the clean windowpane. Outside, Uncle Vernon was stuffing suitcases into the car while Dudley wailed about wanting to bring more toys and complained that there wasn’t enough room for another suitcase.

Then Harry heard it.

A crack echoed down the street.

Harry spun around and bolted downstairs.

“He’s here!” he shouted, skidding into the kitchen where Aunt Petunia was watering her houseplants.

“Don’t run in the house!” she snapped. “You’ll break something!”

Uncle Vernon stomped into the kitchen behind her. “The car’s all packed. I told you, Petunia, the boot is perfectly suited for all our luggage. High-quality engineering.”

“Uncle Vernon, Sirius is here! You don’t have to worry about traffic anymore, he’s right on time!”

Uncle Vernon checked his watch with a grunt. “Did he? Of course. Unemployed layabout.”

Harry frowned. “Sirius has a job. He works for the bank.”

“Of course he’s unemployed,” Vernon said loudly. “That’s why you live here eating my food and living off my hard-earned salary, you ungrateful—”

“Really, Vernon?”

The kitchen fell silent.

Harry turned and saw Sirius leaning casually in the doorway, arms folded across his chest, dark hair falling into his eyes.

“Well then,” Sirius continued lightly, “I’d love to know what happens to the monthly stipend I send for Harry’s care.”

“Sirius!” Harry shouted.

He ran straight at his godfather, and Sirius knelt to hug him tightly.

“You packed?” Sirius asked.

Harry nodded eagerly.

“Brilliant.”

With an easy flick of his wand, Sirius summoned Harry’s backpack from upstairs. It shot down the staircase and into his waiting hand.

“I told you,” Uncle Vernon sputtered, his face turning purple, “not to do that dangerous, ridiculous nonsense in my house!”

Sirius straightened slowly. He was much taller than Vernon, and Vernon instinctively took a step backward as Sirius approached.

“My apologies, Vernon,” Sirius said smoothly, slipping his wand into his pocket. “I’ll try not to terrify you with magic an eleven-year-old can manage.”

Vernon opened and closed his mouth a few times before muttering, “Right. Well. No time to waste. We’ve got a drive ahead of us.”

Sirius turned to Aunt Petunia. “I’ll bring Harry back Sunday evening.”

Petunia gave a stiff nod and a sharp sniff but didn’t say a word.

Then Sirius took Harry’s hand, and together they walked down Privet Drive. Somehow the street already seemed brighter, more alive, simply because Harry was leaving it behind.

“Do I have to come back?” Harry asked quietly after a moment. “I want to live with you.”

Sirius squeezed his hand gently and smiled down at him.

“Just wait until you’re seventeen.”

“That’s ages away!”

“Only ten years,” Sirius said lightly. “And you’ll spend most of them at Hogwarts. Trust me, once you get there, you’ll barely think about Privet Drive at all.”

Harry sighed. There was no point arguing. Sirius always gave the same answer. Harry had to stay with the Dursleys, and Sirius would always be there whenever he needed him.

Still, Harry knew he was lucky. Lots of people didn’t have anyone at all. Harry had Sirius, and Harry knew—without a doubt—that Sirius loved him.

“Can we fly our brooms this weekend?” Harry asked hopefully.

“Of course. And we’ll go to the bookshop and get ice cream in Diagon Alley too.”

Harry’s face broke into a grin so wide it almost hurt.

He was going to have the best weekend ever.

[sotrias-labyrinth-deactivated20]

I feel like when I say ‘relatable’ what I really mean is ‘resonant.’ I don’t want characters who I feel are like me, I want characters who have emotions so strong I can feel them through the page.

[secretlyatargaryen]

I think this is important because a lot of us forget the power of stories to make us feel things about characters who are not like us, who have experienced things that we never will. The purpose of listening to someone else's story should not necessarily be identification, but understanding.

[merlinsbbeard]

While the Village Sleeps For @jilymicrofics March prompt: tobogganing Words: 541

A snowy Winter's night means tobogganing with the Potters. Read on AO3 or below the cut

Lily’s purple-gloved hands covered her face as a yawn escaped her for the third time since they’d come outside. The cobbled pathways, hedges, low stone walls and slanted, tiled rooftops of Godric’s Hollow had all been blanketed by snowfall. The village itself looked like one of those miniature sets her nana took out every year, with the frosted, fake trees and a working, mechanical train set.

It was the middle of a black night, and way past Harry’s bedtime, but in the morning—when the sun had risen and the village awoken—the streets would have turned to a grey slush. So, they’d woken him once the snowfall began to thin, bundled him doublewide in thick winter socks, gloves, jackets, scarves and beanies, and trudged out into the fresh snow.

The best slope for tobogganing was behind the church. If you went to the top, you could look out onto the whole sleepy village, lit only by the flaming lampposts and the vague impressions of flickering fireplaces through living room windows.

Harry had made it halfway up the slope before getting impatient with all the slipping and sliding nonsense. Now he’d climbed into the toboggan while James held it steady, and was rocking forward and back, pretending to rev it like an engine.

‘Ready, Mummy? Mummy. Are you watching me?’ Harry called, his voice small against the vast, open slope.

Lily waved both arms at him. ‘I’m watching!’ she called back from where she stood at the base.

‘Free . . . two . . . one . . .’ came Harry’s little voice once more.

James gave a great push, and Harry came pelting down the slope, raking a trail through the snow as he went, scream-cackling the whole way down.

‘Oomph,’ he said involuntarily after he gained a bit of air and came crashing back into the ground once more.

His momentum slowed as he reached the thicker snow at the foothill. Then the toboggan spun, gliding sideways for a moment before he caught an edge and flipped into a bit of shrubbery.

‘Uh oh,’ said Lily, a few metres away. ‘You alright, buddy?’

She trudged over as quickly as she could, but by the time she was there, he was already up and dusting the snow off his clothes.

‘That was so fun,’ Harry said, grinning beneath his beanie, which had smushed down over most of his face. Lily readjusted it to reveal his green eyes shining up at her. ‘Try it!’ He grabbed the rope and offered it to her. ‘Don’t worry, Mummy. I’ll catch you if you go too fast.’

Lily chuckled. ‘Thank you, Harry, but Mummy can’t go this time. Why don’t you ask Daddy instead?’ she said, rubbing her belly over her coat.

‘Is it toz of the baby?’ Harry asked.

Lily nodded, and Harry stared at the ground for a moment, rubbing his knees together and huddling one arm close to his body.

‘Can the baby have hot chocolates with us when we get home?’ he mumbled towards the ground.

Lily smiled, patting his head. ‘Of course.’

‘I want four marshmallows in mine,’ Harry said. Then he waddled off up the hill, apparently satisfied with that conclusion. And halfway up he called out to James: ‘Daddy, let’s go down together this time!’

[merlinsbbeard]

Anatomy of a Flower-Girl For @jilymicrofics February prompt: lily, white Words: 124

A poetic account of Lily, probably written by James at some point, probably in his textbook. Read on AO3 or below the cut

She is Lilium candidum, the Madonna lily, the white lily, or whichever name you like to call her. Her eyes are the lanceolate leaves, her hair the titian textures on the innermost section of each silken petal. Her freckles, those speckles the hue of a barn swallow’s belly, are the pollen grains that coat the anthers. And her pinkish skin holds the same qualities as the sculptural, unopened bud. Green veins thrumming.

She is there, leaning asymmetrically in a glass vase, her hip propped against the wooden edge of a table. Her petals droop and fall when she tires, landing as copper lashes on the hollows of her eyes. The ink-smudged heel of her hand: pollen stains on the cotton tablecloth. Foliate shoulder sloping.

[merlinsbbeard]

The Whistle-Stop Broom For @jilymicrofics January prompt: flounder Rated: T Words: 368

Lily did not consider herself a graceful flyer by any extension of the term. It'd been six years since she took those compulsory flying lessons in first year and just as long since she'd even thought about touching a broom. Now, her boyfriend James had convinced her to let him teach her the basics. 'It'll be fun,' he'd said. Read on AO3 or below the cut

‘I don’t like this, James. I don’t like this at all.’

‘It’s easy if you just relax,’ James called to her. ‘Breathe.’

‘I can’t,’ she said, clenching the broomstick between her thighs as if her life depended on it. It shuddered beneath her. ‘I’m going to fall.’

‘I won’t let you fall,’ said James. His hands came to the front end of her broom, steadying it to a gentle sway. ‘Why don’t you try going higher?’

‘Higher?’ said Lily, and as if it were a well-trained dog who’d just heard the word sic, the broom shot up through the air.

Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck, were the words running through her brain as the grass of the Quidditch Pitch sank away and the brightly coloured turrets of the stands became streaks of colour against the blurred, blue, spring afternoon sky.

‘Brake, Lily,’ said James, streaming after her on his own broom. ‘Brake!’

‘I—can’t—brake,’ cried Lily, her voice carrying out in all cardinal directions as the broom began to spin on its x-axis.

James stuck the tips of his thumb and forefinger into his mouth, frowning lightly as he blowed a clear, sharp whistle through the air.

Automatically, the broom slowed, the spinning stopped, and Lily came to a stable halt halfway up the length of the goalposts. She was no longer sitting up in good form. Instead she was leant forward, clutching the handle to her chest as if she were trying to meld to and become one with the broomstick. Her eyes were scrunched shut. (If she opened them to see the ground floating far beneath her, she thought she might be sick.)

James was at her side within seconds. ‘Alright, that was a really good start.’

‘Shut up, and get me down.’

‘On it.’

He climbed onto her broom behind her, pulling her tightly to his chest with one arm in case she started to flounder about again. He tilted the broom handle down with the other, guiding them towards the ground. His broomstick towed along behind them.

‘Lucky it had training wheels on,’ he said as they touched down.

Lily, who could’ve kissed the ground in that moment, spun to him incredulously. ‘That was with training wheels?’

[radioactive-earthshine]

Not sure why it's a new trend among fic readers to assume if the fic has not been posted within the week it's inappropriate to comment on it, like the fic has to be hot out of the oven to give feedback for.

I got a comment on a fic that is less than a year old and it was mostly an apology for being a comment on an "old fic" and how late they were in commenting.

Just comment on the fic. Doesn't matter how old it is.

[mysteryteacup]

Fandom is not social media.

Fandom is not trends.

Fandom is a cross between a library and having a slumber party with your friends.

"Old" means nothing to fic.

[houndsofmercury]

sirius definitely kisses a little mean when he’s jealous. sharp little bites, hands gripping wayy too tight. & remus, naturally, thinks this is the hottest thing that’s ever happened to him, every time

[lalunavinoalafragua]

Something quick, messy and unfinished. I mean my sketch.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/84317986/chapters/222999006#workskin