@mermaids-andswallows - Tumblr Blog

me at Olive Garden at 11:02 am staring down the elderly people impatiently waiting outside knowing we should’ve opened 2 minutes ago but my boss is in the back cheating on his wife with the girl who makes the salads and he has the key to unlock the doors

hdot-mokoriri

I came here to drink vegetable juice.

野菜ジュース飲みにここに来たよ

jeff bezos didn’t sign a pre-nup

and cheated on his wife of 25 years with a married woman

and washington state is a community property state, meaning that all assets acquired during a marriage are divided equally upon divorce

meaning that jeff bezos has to give his wife half of his net worth

and he is presently worth $137 billion

and half of $137 billion is roughly

$69 billion

selierynn

dan-mcneely-deactivated20210328

ok i know the two arent actually connected but today on my lunch i got all my coworkers in a heated debate on weather or not prepared horseradish was a vegan chowder if you ate it with a spoon and then when it was time to go back in my boss pulled me aside and fired me and im gonna think about that until im dead probably

846782364278

dingdongyouarewrong

remember the wayside school books those were fucked up

dingdongyouarewrong

remember that one chapter where a new student came to the class and was wearing like 10 different raincoats and the teacher kept making him take off the raincoats one by one until they got down to the final layer and it was just a dead rat