Meow Meow

I am a now 31 year old who graduated from Kendall College of Art and Design. I grew up in a small town, north of Grand Rapids Michigan. I am also a Gemini. Here you will find random musings, my so-so art work, and anything else that catches my...

[merrymissmeow]

I accidentally opened tumblr googling some questions about fruits basket and well, since I don’t really have social media anymore, I’ll give a life update.

Nate died and it was rough. I still think of him about every day and I’m sure I always will. This year will be the 5th year he’s been gone.

Due to the trauma I faced I ended up in a horrible relationship for about 2 years. I was angry all the time and so stressed I have developed an acid reflux disease (Barrett’s esophagus) and at the time lost about 25 pounds, which put me at 125, smaller than I can even remember. My best guess is that that’s what I may have weighed in 6th grade.

Time for the good news though!!

My health is better. I’m on the perfect blend of mood medication, it’s what my mom takes as well and my brother had a DNA test done to see what would suit him and it’s what I already take! I’ve gained back most of my weight— 20lbs, which is what I’ve been most of my adult life.

My cat is still alive. He’s been my rock throughout EVERYTHING. Kevin is I think about 13 now, and he has asthma but overall he’s still playful and silly.

I’ve been at my current job for about 8 years. It’s a factory job making medical equipment, so it didn’t shut down during Covid, which I’m fairly certain saved my life. If it wasn’t for the constant support of my coworkers and being able to have somewhere where I felt I actually belonged, I don’t think I would have made it through my own depression. I’m so grateful to them every day.

Here’s my favorite news: I’m engaged! My fiancée’s name is Bryan and we currently live together in Walker. He’s someone I knew before Nate’s passing which made things so much easier for me. Our whole story feels a little weird but essentially he was a coworker while I was dating Nate and came back to the plant I work at after trying some life things that didn’t suit him. He loves cosplay and video games and in general is just a very funny individual.

[merrymissmeow]

I haven’t posted on here in months and today is probably a bad day to be saying this but I’m going into work today to see if I haven’t been fired.

[merrymissmeow]

When the at home order ends it’s going to be hard because I know I’m going to want to meet all my friends again and eat at my favorite restaurants and see movies and all that again but I know that’s not the logical course of action. That I have to stay back from doing everything at once. I think the best course of action will be to have George meet my parents and grab pizza to go from the local place there. Then take a walk. :) Keep space from loads of people but spend time with others. Also, I really really want that pizza haha.

[merrymissmeow]

I’m pretty sure I just full on had my first ptsd experience so that’s fun.

[merrymissmeow]

I took yesterday off because all of the greasy crude I’ve been eating caught up with me and I took today off because anxiety and period cramps. I’ll be 100% good for work tomorrow it just— I think the quarantine order is finally getting to me. Like last week I had the thoughts: My boyfriend died and nothing has gotten better.

Also I realized that no one has held me and just let me cry over the loss of Nate. It’s not that people wouldn’t do that for me, but it’s been weird timing and situations. Like my mom was more over emotional and dramatic about the whole ordeal so I didn’t want to go to her. Then there was the fact that I just wasn’t comfortable going to Nate’s parents. I couldn’t cry with Kevin because of the whole “being in the arms of his best friend” stigma. And KK has a daughter and the times I was able to see her before the shut down was her daughters birthday and a surprisingly exciting Sunday with pizza and bathing kittens haha. No time for sad times there.

I think I’m just exhausted of these thoughts and feelings. Thankfully the person I’ve been seeing is totally understandable??? Like he said he would be with me when I grieve over Nate and that like— floors me. I don’t expect that. I expect understanding and time to myself when those feelings come up. Not to actually be comforted. I mean, I’ll gladly take it if I feel ready for it, but just to be offered comfort from a new lover is not something I ever expected. It’s been nice and he’s been nice.

[merrymissmeow]

I broke curfew/stay home order to see George. I feel really bad because his mom is trying really hard to be safe and then we just went around and met up anyways. :( He’s the only person I’ve seen but it doesn’t really make it okay.

[merrymissmeow]

Hey, I don't know if this will help you or creep you out (and I'm sorry if it does) but I just wanted to tell you I had a sex dream about you last night and it was very pleasant.

Well! It doesn’t creep me out. I can’t control someone else’s dreams haha At least it was pleasent 👍 I have sexy dreams about people that have left just uncomfortable or like WTF haha

[merrymissmeow]

I have a lot of thoughts on everything today and they are not good and I’m so tired.

[merrymissmeow]

The man I started seeing before the stay home order referred to himself as:

“widdle weeby daddy uwu”

Is this the sign that I should ditch him? Was @nekoluver’s daughter right the whole time when she said ‘No’ to his photo?!

I’ll never know until it’s too late.

[afronerdism]

Why you should never buy sex toys on Amazon.

I see people on here all the time talking about buying sex toys on Amazon so it’s time to run through this again. I know it may seem like you’re saving money but when something seems too good to be true it usually is.

The main reason you shouldn’t buy sex toys on Amazon is that, unlike buying from reputable retailers, you have absolutely no garuntee that the product you’re buying hasn’t been used, returned, and resold. The sex you industy in America is almost completely unregulated so really can’t trust amazon to hold better business practices than legally required. People have found bodily fluid and pubic hair on toys purchased from Amazon.

America Has an Extremely Disturbing Sex Toy Problem

'Some had bodily fluids on them, and some even had pubic hairs."

The second biggest reason is that you’re more than likely buying an expensive knock off labeled as a brand name item. The way the amazon marketplace works is by sorting items with the same bar code name into the same catagory. So let’s say you want a wi vibe so you pay for one but what happens is that amazon doesn’t log a difference between a brand name Wi-vibe and a knock off from China. They’re both just labeled “wi-vibe” so you pay for a quality item and get a cheap knock off. So you may think you’re getting a high quality item for $50 but instead you’re getting a $10 look alike that will die and malfunction quickly. Imagine paying for a Lelo (the most luxury sex toy brand) and getting something nothing like that.

Why Buying Sex Toys from Amazon is a Risky Gamble — Dangerous Lilly

Buying sex toys from Amazon is risky. I get a lot of complaints about counterfeit sex toys, misrepresentation in brand/materials and even us

And lastly, it’s not safe for you! Because the chances of you getting a knock off are so high, it’s very likely that you’ll get something made out of harmful materials. A lot of the sex toys made cheaply in China and places like that have no body safe regulations on materials so not only could you pay for a brand name item and not get it , but you might actually get something that could make you sick or even poison you. Some toys will even leak oils and chemicals when exposed to water or fluids.

Why You Should Be Very Careful About Buying Sex Toys on Amazon

Amazon's Sexual Wellness section is chock-full of sex toys, but it's a mixed bag, with ple

In summation, buying from Amazon is NOT safe for you, will most likely rip you off, and you could even be getting used products.

Below I’m listing Dangerous Lily’s list of best places to buy. I recommend reading her reviews before purchasing anything expensive.

Where to buy:

SheVibe

Early to bed

Smitten Kitten

Good Vibes

Come as you are

Be vibrant

HotOctopuss

And directly from the brand retailor like we-vibe, Lelo, body wand, etc.

[afronerdism]

Apparently the sale of sex toys on amazon have spiked since everyone is stuck at home so I’m bringing this back as a PSA.

[dicapito2-deactivated20230424]

Honestly, please don’t buy them from Amazon. When packages get messed up, there are people who mishandle the merchandise. Sex toys are included in that.

Do not do it.

[sakuu]

如月憂►4月以降お仕事募集中さんはTwitterを使っています 「※擬人化※ 案内所のふたり https://t.co/9O4qnicwAU」 / Twitter

[sakuu]

如月憂►4月以降お仕事募集中さんはTwitterを使っています 「※擬人化※ 案内所のふたり https://t.co/9O4qnicwAU」 / Twitter

[critroleantics]

I haven’t seen a single 420 joke at all this month we’re really not ok huh

[merrymissmeow]

Out of everything that I do and do not feel guilty about with dating again and seeing someone new I did not think that suddenly having a high sex drive was one of them.

That being said the pandemic is certainly a buzz kill and is shutting down any sex life I found. Not to mention the possible condom shortage. 😂

I uh... am going to go on birth control again after all this.

[beautiful-rebellious-sunflower]

you guys don’t even understand how much I adore the whole ‘falling in love for the second time’ thing, it is probably my favourite ever romance trope

like, give me characters who have been in a long term relationship for years, give me characters who have been married, happily married, and who thought that was it for them, that it would never happen again and they would have to live the rest of their lives alone

give me characters who have lost the love of their life…and then let them find another one

by all means make it awkward; make them reluctant and unsure, have it take a long time, make it a slow and strange and dawning realisation but let it be real

give me characters who fall in love a second time, and have it be as real and passionate and important as anything else in their lives has been, give me characters who thought they would never be able to move on realising that you don’t have to deny your past to embrace your future, give me characters who fall in love again in spite of themselves, discovering that they’re not too old and not too broken to find happiness again

give me characters who fall in love a second time; desperately, blissfully, head-over-heels and stupid in love

because let me tell you

I live for that shit

[spockvarietyhour]

[iamthecutestofborg]

This is what happens to characters when you write an AU fanfic

[edgar-allan-possum]

Off goes Riker, to the coffee shop.

[merrymissmeow]

My work is still running, I make IV filters and other injectable medical equipment so pretty important. I am worried and I am doing my best for quarantine/isolation. I DO wish I could stay home partly out of selfishness and partly out of concern.

At least I’ll still be making money so I won’t have to dip into my savings.

When all this eases up and things go back to ‘normal’ I think I’m going to take myself on a mini vacation to Chicago.