one big dump

she/they | lesbian | i write sometimes

[heademptyonlyvibes]

these two would fucking hate each other.

[messmouse]

Tiff: How could you do something so stupid?!

Mac: I do a lot of stupid things, you'll have to be more specific than that.

[messmouse]

Rick (that dude at the party): Would you date a guy shorter than you?

KJ: Nah fam.

Rick: Don't you think that's kind of shallow?

KJ: I'm lesbian, Rick.

[messmouse]

Prioress: If you're smart, you should run away and never return.

KJ, confidently: Well, I'm not!

KJ: Running away that is.

KJ: I am smart.

[messmouse]

Mac: If I die, how much would you miss me?

KJ: It's cute how you think death can get you out of this relationship

[trickarrows-bishop]

kj: have you guys seen mac? tif: she's been looking sadly through the window when it starting raining erin: if it gets bad, we should probably let her in...

[messmouse]

Erin: HELP! I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO RIDE A MOTORCYCLE!

KJ: I can teach you. I've been riding since I was five.

Tiff: Isn't it illegal for a five-year-old to ride a motorcycle?

KJ: Well, yeah. But how was I supposed to know? I was five!

[messmouse]

Tiff: Wow, a surprisingly peaceful and domestic moment.

Tiff: When will it be ruined?

Mac, Erin, and KJ falling through the roof: TIFFANY!!

Tiff: There it is.

[messmouse]

KJ: We'll handle this the way we always do.

Mac: Brute force?

Erin: Almost dying?

KJ: What?! No, and no! By sticking together and never giving up!

Tiff: Figures.

[messmouse]

Erin: How long are we gonna stand here and let her do that?

Tiff: Just give her a minute.

KJ: *pushing a door that clearly says pull*

[messmouse]

Mac: I'm sorry I got angry. It's something I'm working on.

KJ, Erin, Tiff, wiping tears: Awww, you are?

Mac, yelling now: YES! NOW CAN YOU PLEASE—!?

Mac: *deep breath*

Mac, smiling wide, eye twitching: Yes, I am.

[messmouse]

Tiff: So, what are we then? The guinea pigs?

Mac: Yeah, well, this guinea pig's gonna kick his ass.

Tiff:

KJ:

Erin: ...man, I wish I got a video of you saying that.

[messmouse]

Grandfather: Ah yes, the five love languages...

Grandfather, pointing at Mac: Touch starved

Grandfather, pointing at KJ: My parents never told me they loved me.

Grandfather, pointing at Tiff: I love pressuring myself until I'm on the verge of tears.

Grandfather, pointing at Erin: I’m so fucking tired, let me rest for five freaking minutes!

Grandfather, pointing at Mac: My parents didn’t give me enough attention.

KJ:

Tiff:

Erin:

Mac:

Mac: Why did I get two?

[messmouse]

[Dylan and Mac yelling at eachother]

KJ: Should we stop them?

Erin: You don't have siblings. Fighting is all a part of the healing process.

[messmouse]

KJ about Mac: Remember when she used to be so nice and sweet?

Tiff, snorting: Nope.

[messmouse]

Erin: So, this Grandfather guy, what does he want with us anyway?

Tiff, shrugs: All we know is we have to be careful.

Mac: Heh, what if he's, like, a time-traveling psycho who uses mind control to make people walk right into his dino pet's mouth.

KJ: What?! I don't wanna walk into a dinosaur's mouth!

Tiff: Nobody's walking into a dinosaur's mouth.

[messmouse]

KJ, watching the news: Some idiot tried to fight a duck downtown.

Mac, covered in feathers and bruises: Well maybe the duck was being a dick.