Meth from the outside

My process of learning how to talk to and handle a loved one who's addicted to the monster called 'methamphetamine.'

[catgandini]

[methfromtheoutside]

creating-caitlin:

[methfromtheoutside]

Inspiring story of a former meth addict and how she changed her ways. Definitely worth watching!

[methfromtheoutside]

[methfromtheoutside]

St. Jude Retreats Approach

As I’ve stated repeatedly, everyone is different, so it is beneficial to look at all different suggestions of how to assist a loved one dealing with an addiction to meth. St. Jude Retreat House feels that addiction is not a “disease” as some people may believe. They tend to focus on an educational theory and look at addiction as behavior and a choice. Ashley from this Retreat House recommends that the main idea to keep in mind when talking to a loved one on meth is to be nonjudgmental. Come into the conversation with an open mind and no intent to putdown or argue with the person using meth. An intervention, in her opinion, is counterproductive. It can make the addict feel attacked and cause them to get defensive. She feels that it is better off doing a one-on-one approach and to make it more about the patient than the supporter. “Are you truly happy?” is a relevant question to ask the addict. If they admit that they aren’t happy, this can lead to them opening up to you or other progressive steps. If they claim that they are happy, then you can dig deeper and find out what they find desirable about their lifestyle and build a trusting relationship with them that can lead to eventually helping them. St. Jude’s also thinks that the family and friends who are close to the loved one should know what kind of treatment will and will not work for them. This Retreat looks at 12 step programs as out dated because they haven’t changed since the 1930s; however, this doesn’t mean that 12 step programs doesn’t work for some people. Those who have tried 12 step programs and haven’t been able to stay clean often end up turning to St. Jude Retreat House for help, but just like 12 step programs, St. Jude may not work for everyone. Researching the different treatments available helps me decide which ones I think would and wouldn’t be successful for Chase. Making a list of the best treatments for him and then sharing it with other people close to him to decide the ultimate one will be helpful before we talk to him about sobriety.

"Saint Jude Retreats - About Us." Saint Jude Retreats - About Us. Saint Jude Retreats, 2013. Web. 02 May 2014. <http://www.stjuderetreathouse.com/aboutsaintjuderetreats.php>.

[ilovemybully]

[methfromtheoutside]

Boundaries

After talking to Ashley from a rehabilitation center called St. Jude Retreats, I have realized how important boundaries are when dealing with family or a friend using methamphetamine. She informed me that an important part for the supporters is setting boundaries that are right for them. There are no particular rules when creating these limits, it is just whatever if comfortable for you. Boundaries can’t be wrong.

In my situation, Blain and I have trouble telling his dad “no.” We love Chase so much and don’t want him to end up leaving us out of his life, so we frequently drop what we’re doing to help him out. We give him money, gas, and food whenever he asks for it with no hesitation. I now recognize that boundaries are needed in our relationship. Blain and I will have to discuss the problems and boundaries we should set, then let Chase be aware of them. This 


Ashley believes that there is no such thing as an ‘enabler’ because if a loved one gives money to a user that claims they need it for something important, and they go spend it on meth, that is THEIR choice. The supporter can set up boundaries that they will no longer give them money or whatever they feel is right. Whatever the boundaries may be, they need to be clear and straightforward. The addict should be told of the boundaries and they should be taken seriously so they know that you aren’t going to let their decisions influence your life anymore.

[methfromtheoutside]

BLAME.

A subject that I frequently come across while researching how to help a person using methamphetamine get clean is blame. Friends and family typically blame themselves for their loved one’s addiction when that should not be the case. People can feel like “if I did ______ then they wouldn’t be on meth” or “if I didn’t ______, then they wouldn’t have to turn to drugs.” Blaming oneself for another person’s actions is just not fair to anyone because WE don’t control others decisions. Realizing that an addict has the choice to use and that it’s out of the loved one’s control can be hard to accept, but needs done for both parties to move on.

 As I discussed previously, methamphetamine makes users short-tempered or enraged. With this in mind, when a person using meth blames another person for their addiction or use, it is most likely out of anger or to hurt them. If one takes this blame to heart, then the monster called “methamphetamine” is winning and accomplished it’s goal to weaken you. I’ve learned that not me, Blain, Ashley, or ANYONE ELSE is to blame for Chase’s addiction except Chase. It’s crucial to understand that the user needs to be held accountable for their own actions and accept responsibility in order to reach the road to recovery. Addiction may make one vulnerable, but they are still capable of making their own choices. A methamphetamine user has the power to CHOOSE not to blame, to take responsibility, and most importantly, not to use. IF and WHEN they will realize they have this control is the question. "Addiction Recovery: Blame Is Not Healthy But Accepting Responsibility Is." Promises Addiction Treatment Alcohol Drug Rehab Malibu. Promises Treatment Center, 2014. Web. 01 May 2014. <http://www.promises.com/articles/addiction-recovery/addiction-recovery-accepting-responsibility/>. "Drug Abuse And Addiction." University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma. COPLAC, 2014. Web. 30 Apr. 2014. <http://usao.edu/student-services/drug-abuse-and-addiction>.

[methfromtheoutside]

Know when to speak up, and when to back down

After plenty of research, I discovered two recurring, significant processes that I can use to help my loved one reach sobriety from his methamphetamine addiction.

ONE: Speak up! I shouldn’t be afraid to confront my family member that is using and let him know that I know about his meth addiction. It is necessary to voice my concern in a serious and sincere manner, but not in a defensive way that will lead to conflict. Chances are, the addict will get angry, frustrated, and/or deny any drug use. I should be full of support, remind him how much I love him, and let him know why he needs to get clean. He needs to know that I will be there throughout the entire process and am willing to help in any way possible, but will not enable him.

TWO: Take care of yourself! I can only do so much. It may not be easy to give up, but I cannot make other people's decisions for them. If doing what's best for me means letting go, then so be it. After giving an addict chance after chance (whatever the limit may be, hopefully a reasonable amount), I need to take a step back and let him live his own life with his own choices. Sometimes tough love is all one needs to realize what they are doing to themselves. If time after time the meth user just continues to disappoint everyone around them by their poor decisions, then eventually everyone may just give up on them. They may reach rock bottom after they lose everything and everyone, but this may be the trigger in their brain that they need help.

All I can do is hope that one of these processes work for Chase and that spreading these two ways can help someone else as well.

Sources: "Drug Abuse And Addiction." University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma. COPLAC, 2014. Web. 30 Apr. 2014. <http://usao.edu/student-services/drug-abuse-and-addiction>.

[methfromtheoutside]

Enabling VS Supporting

Some of you may be wondering “when does supporting someone become enabling them?” Their isn’t a direct answer to this question because there is such a fine line between enabling and supporting your meth addict. A list of examples on the Meth Action Coalition website can help show the difference between the two.

Giving/lending money: Let’s be honest, if we’re talking about a person that you know is using meth and they’re asking for money, that money will most likely go towards the drug or something to do with it. As much as you want to help your friend out, this could just be making the situation worse by giving them means to continue their habit. It is advised by professionals to not lend or give a methamphetamine user money because this can enable their addiction.

Buying items: If you feel it is necessary to buy a meth user a new item, take it out of the package and do whatever that needs to be done to avoid the person selling it or trading it for money. There isn’t really any telling whether your loved one will want to or be able to sell the item they were given, but the more you can do to prevent others from purchasing the item, the better. Buying expensive or luxurious things that they could sell for drugs could be enabling their addiction. Purchases of necessities such as used clothes, food, and water can be considered support.

Bailing them out of jail: As much as you don’t want to see your loved one trapped behind bars, if they have an addiction to meth, this may be essential for them to realize they need help. Also, it is the perfect place to talk to them about getting sober and is an area that is free from drugs, so they will be able to clear their head. Letting them come to a realization of what their life is becoming shows support whereas bailing them out of a situation that they got themselves into in the first place would be considered enabling them. It’s recommended by the Meth Action Coalition to let your loved one learn from their own mistakes and show your support.

Stealing: If you know that your family member or friend is using meth and has stolen money or another item from your home, letting them get away with it is considered enabling them. It’s preferred that you report the stolen item to police and take precautions to guarantee this doesn’t continue happening. Taking away a key from the user and making sure not to let them in with strangers that could take your belongings are both appropriate safety measures.

The problem for me is learning to say "no" to when Chase wants something because I don't want to enable him, but I do want to show him my love and support. I'm happy I found differences between the two and can share them with others who are confused about when they're taking support too far.

Source: "Meth Action Coalition." - What Do You Do. Meth Action Coalition, n.d. Web. 30 Apr. 2014. <http://www.methaction.org/what_do_you_do>.

[myinsanerecovery]

[methfromtheoutside]

It will all be worth it for everyone involved. Helping a methamphetamine addict see this is the part that will take a lot of effort.

[overcomingchaos-deactivated2016]

[methfromtheoutside]

An addict may be afraid of what "real life" is like without their drugs protecting them from the real world, but they must conquer this fear to reach the goal of sobriety.

[methfromtheoutside]

One way that I've learned a person can get help talking to their loved one about reaching sobriety is by hiring an intervention specialist. An intervention specialist can teach family and friends about how to talk to the person that they are having an intervention for. Since an intervention can be overwhelming, family and friends are typically told by the specialist to assure their loved one that they will be there for them throughout their treatment. Two different types of rehabilitation centers that are common for those with addictions are outpatient and inpatient programs. An outpatient center gives patients the chance to go during the day to experience a variety of methods that can help them stay sober, but get to go home at night.  This can give the patient more of an independent sense that can make them feel like they have more control over themselves and responsible for becoming sober. While this choice can work for some addicts, inpatient programs tend to be more successful in keeping someone sober. As for inpatient centers, patients usually live there for 1-3 months while participating in activities that help with sobriety such as therapy, recreational hobbies, lectures that focus on educating patients, and much more. A critical part of both programs is the therapy that is provided. One-on-one, group, and sometimes even family therapy can contribute to one discovering the reason behind why they’re addicted and get past the problem that continues dragging them back to the monster of methamphetamine. Since everyone is different, choosing the rehabilitation center that can best benefit the person using methamphetamine can be a difficult decision. Hiring an intervention specialist and/or researching multiple centers are of assistance when finding the right, life-changing one. "How to Help a Drug Addict." How to Help a Drug Addict. Drugabuse.com, 2014. Web. 29 Apr. 2014. <http://drugabuse.com/library/how-to-help-a-drug-addict/>.

[methfromtheoutside]

Good words for anyone, especially an addict, to follow.

[desertdweller93]

It wasn’t until April 12, 2012 that I had realized I had reached my lowest point in my life. Drugs had completely taken over me, I was hurting those who loved me most, I was not the person I am capable of being. So I finally decided that enough was enough. After 5 years of addiction, I completely...

[methfromtheoutside]

Too true! The only person that can change your life is YOU!

[haiafterrehab-deactivated201909]

Addiction causes you to sink into your own mind, until you’re so far down that you’re completely out of it.

Haile Simms (via haiafterrehab)

[soberinafuckeduplife-deactivate]

Being a drug addict isn’t nearly as bad as being sober and loving a drug addict. Whether it’s a family member spouse or friend. Nothing will screw up your life as bad as being associated with a drug addict. You can’t save them but they can sure as hell destroy you - and they will

(via soberinafuckeduplife)