oh shit what

hello i'm elle cis/female/20/australian frequent assholeI too was saying boo-urnspsa floss your fuckin teeth you savage

[cinquespotted]

[mysharona1987]

[moved-to-naltorians-blog]

[ruinedchildhood]

[starlightnymph]

[retrowar]

[sphinxofgrease]

i have greensleeves stuck in my head but, like, the horrible otamatone version

[sphinxofgrease]

just in case anyones forgotten this absolute masterpiece

[shredsandpatches]

What I love most about this is that you start it and you go “eh, it’s not THAT funny, they just sound like crumhorns really.”

AND THEN THE THIRD ONE COMES IN.

[tastefullyoffensive]

[animals-are-other-nations]

[dalmonite]

“These are my children.”

“They look nothing li—”

“LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE.”

[daysofstorm]

for some reason I really like that she’s called Hilda.

[roddaprime]

This happened on my grandmothers farm when my mom was little,

baby ducks act a lot like baby chickens so in the beginning it wasn’t so bad

the main problem is that baby ducks  LOVE water, but baby chickens get very very dead from it,

so you can imagine the mother hens surprise and horror the first time they go by the farm pond and ALL THE BABIES RUN TO THE WATER AND JUMP IN

my grandmother had to come out of the house to investigate all the noise the hen was making

The mother hen was clucking and screeching in distress and running circles around the pond while the duckies were having the time of their lives.

This happened a few more times before Momma hen was like FUCK IT YOU WANNA SWIM SEE WHAT I CARE , and would sit a distance away watching them in the pond.

if the ducks ever abandoned any eggs my grandmother would always put it under that particular hens nest cause from then on she always knew how to deal with her “water loving” delinquent children

[gokuma]

BEST ADOPTED MUM

[madness-and-gods]

NO 😂

[kittercasey]

I’m George RR Martin 

[mairzymarzipan]

growing up in maine us writers were of course always comparing ourselves to stephen king.  TURNS OUT HE’S FUCKING WRITER GEORG

[danieandflars]

“average writer writes 3 books a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person writes 1 book per year. Steven King, who lives in cave & writes over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[sixpenceee]

The preserved sloth fetus above looks eerily like an alien. 

[seashellsandsequins]

commonbitterness

[neutralmuds]

[imsoshive]

When you just finished dicking her down and now you in her pantry looking at all of her son’s snacks you about to eat

[afloweroutofstone]

This meme is far too powerful, and should be locked away in a vault where civilians are unable to access it

[ikchen]

wiggle wiggle (x)

[snout]

being a macroorganism is so stressful. i want to know what my cells are doing. I don’t like how unsupervised they are

[mysharona1987]

[weallheartonedirection]

All these years I’ve been looking at the wrong side.

[power-goku-deactivated20221118]

dark fda show me the illegal foods