can you believe they suddenly revealed maruki's birthday on tboy tuesday!!!!!!!! happy birthday maruki!!!!!!!!!
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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@mettamaxie
can you believe they suddenly revealed maruki's birthday on tboy tuesday!!!!!!!! happy birthday maruki!!!!!!!!!
i am BACK and i have OFFICIALLY played caged! (spoilers below for anyone else thats reading this...)
I albsolutely loved it. I think my only issue was how short it is!!! I was so prepared for more :,,( I really love what you have done with Maruki's character -- deep down canon Maruki hates Shido just as much as the PT, but caged!Maruki cant remember why now.. and Azathoth wont let him, under the guise of caring for him :((( I hope thats what you were going for, TBH I thought Maruki was the one caged and he was bearing everyones sins so that the ideal world could be brought to fruition.
I really loved the sprites and the expressions you drew Maruki in. Its so varied yet fits him so well! I love it when fans go deeper with the 'madman' aspect of Marukis character. That man is crazyyyyy!!!
Amazing amazing amazing work. I cant even imagine the work it must be to make a game AND all the art AND all the writing for it! You should really really be proud of urself.
Im really happy I found your blog, I lovelovelovelove maruki sosososo much & as a fellow Transgender its great to see a trans!Maruki (and also fem!Akechi... i always love that). Cant wait to see more of ur art!
waaah thank you very much for reading caged!!!!! i'm really glad you enjoyed, it always makes my day when people love it......
while i don't want to outright confirm too much cause i love to let people just sit with it and think abt it and try and figure out the thoughts i put into it for themselves, i will say that maruki's hatred of shido was a very, very big part of why i decided to write caged..... it had always fascinated me how this is one of the very last things you get to know about him, a feeling he never shares aloud and too explicitly outside of that final tape in his palace, and for someone who tries to put a leash on his emotions and not let himself become too much of an abrasive or an aggressive or otherwise mean person with ugly emotions (even if it's totally justified), the way maruki hates shido has always felt so uncharacteristic to me in a very interesting way. the detail that maruki locked shido away in prison in his reality was so insane to me, a deep desire for revenge of his that he obfuscates behind wanting to merely do this for others because maruki can't let himself be someone that Wants Things, in a way it always felt to me like maruki forcing shido to feel the way that he's always felt, attempting to reverse this game of cat and mouse in which he tries to finally gain the upper hand on this powerful man who traumatized him and destroyed his life, all while trying to ignore the fact that this doesn't do anything for him, because his reality is constructed in a way where he will always be miserable and the most evil person ever and very hyperaware of that fact until he can finally kill himself. the fact that even shido gets the opportunity to live in this reality despite being this horrible tyrannical fascist while everything implies that no matter what happens maruki will swiftly die by suicide has always haunted me in what it implies for how maruki perceives himself..... caged was very much building on that idea and that very one-sided dynamic (because frankly the subtext lends to the idea that shido doesn't even remember this man he did horrible things to), wanting to really get into just what it means to maruki to do this to shido in his reality, all of his feelings about it and all of his feelings about shido, about himself and what all of this really means to him, the mental spiral that he's constantly existing in in third semester. also because i'm not really a fan of how most people tend to talk about these two in relation to each other. sometimes you really have to do the work yourself to see the things you want to see </3
i'm really glad you loved the artwork and everything for the vn!!!! i had a lot of fun drawing maruki's sprites in particular, to the point where a bit of umineko influence accidentally leaked through with a few of them which i didn't even realize till one of my friends pointed it out, haha. i've always loved how restrained maruki's third semester sprites feel, how it's so obvious that he's forcing himself to remain in control as this obedient leashed dog and forcing himself into this dehumanizing facade, and i really wanted to keep pushing it along those lines. i'm a very big fan of making him weird and unsettling but in a very specific way where it's less that he's just Like That and more that he's just deeply mentally ill and has never been treated for it ever in his life and is trying to ignore it as much as he can. he's like an umineko witch to me <3
i'm very honored and very glad!!!!! waaah trans man maruki means the entire world to me and informs so much of how i interpret and read his character, and with how uncommon it seems to feel to really view him through this lens, it always pushes me to want to focus on that more and always give him love with that sort of reading in mind. he deserves it. tysm again!!!!!!!
i just wanted to say i love love love your maruki art... i would love to read caged rn but i am Studying but i have bookmarked it and will come back with Thoughts!!!
ahhh thank you so much!!!! ššš that really means a lot...... whenever you get the chance to get to it i really hope you enjoy reading caged! it's been a little mortifying putting it out there but i'm very glad people have enjoyed it so i hope that you can get something out of it as well <3
royal trio post-third sem hcs + misc doodles. i love them so bad
assorted pride marukis (+ royal trio all together) from the past few months for pride month <33
HI. I REALLY LIKED READING P5R CAGED. COULD YOU TALK MORE ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS ABT MARUKI'S DYNAMIC AND CODEPENDENCY ON AZATHOTH IM REALLY INTERESTED
im so glad to be asked this because ive thought abt this so so much......... thank you very very much for reading caged btw !!!!!!! it really means a lot <3
but aaaagh. the bond maruki forms with azathoth kind of makes me crazy and insane. ive thought a lot about how there's so many awful implications behind it all, how azathoth was there for years and maruki had no idea until the events of the mementos arc when he finally revealed himself to him. it's very fascinating to me how much azathoth seems to make his more direct appearances around maruki in times where he's in distress, especially in moments where he's lamenting his utter powerlessness and lack of autonomy the world keeps forcing upon him...... something about how azathoth appears primarily in these specific moments has always read to me as him preying on maruki's vulnerabilities, priming him to become his vessel, the extension of him without ever truly saying that. the repressed memory with rumi is so haunting to me because maruki has these migraines clearly caused by azathoth but doesn't know why, he has this voice that speaks to him but he doesn't know why, he gains this sudden ability that shouldn't be available to him but he doesn't know why, and that's the recurring pattern with azathoth. he doesn't know why this is happening, but he goes along with it, because if maruki doesn't have azathoth by his side, he will become utterly powerless, he will become the normal person that cannot do anything again, all because he's been deceived by azathoth, by the entire world, by himself into thinking that this, all of what he's working towards is his completely honest and true desire.
azathoth granting maruki his power has always felt like him being goaded into believing that he needs to commit suicide for things to be right. because that's the nature of maruki's reality, it's a place in which he can finally die after taking in the world's evils and burdens and becoming the singular worst person that can never be happy. while maruki can command azathoth and in some cases uses him as an extension of himself (which i really love how much this adds to his own horrors in terms of how he leans very hard into dehumanizing himself, with this being when it becomes most explicit/literal), it always feels like azathoth is the one in control because he is the very reason maruki can accomplish any of this to begin with. maruki is the obedient dog who is always having his leash passed around for the next person to use him as they wish, and azathoth is one of the primary holders of that metaphorical leash........ maybe that's the simplest way i can put it.
i also like how much azathoth feels like he enables a lot of maruki's self harming behaviors beyond just the suicidal tendencies, if i can be kind of insane here and allude to my aroace trans man reading i have of this guy..... i've always liked how much azathoth enables maruki's motherhood horrors especially with his tentacles, in which maruki is not only turning himself into the holy mother of the entire world in an effort to forcibly degender himself (it was Always interesting to me how much he acts in a more maternal way rather than a paternal one, something that becomes insane when thinking about how much he doesn't actually want any of this), azathoth allows this to go further w/ his tendrils, which maruki gets shown using against other people in order to soothe them and put them to rest a same way a mother would do with her child. notably the only time this doesn't hold up is when used against himself, in which it feels a lot more like an sa allegory. But i digress.
there's always something very horrifying to me about the way maruki engages with azathoth onscreen even though they dont get that much screentime together in that way. watching maruki be approached by him in his memory of 12/24 is so horrifying, he doesn't know or understand what's happening but merely accepts it and embraces this as what should and must become his true nature. the first phase of his boss fight involves him being heavily guarded and defended by azathoth, and once downed, maruki slowly starts unraveling, he cant stand the fact that he's lost what he believes has finally granted him his autonomy and uses all of his willpower to bring him back (which is like. hello. Insane codependent behavior). all of this leading up to him being allegorically sa'd by his own persona and having his personhood erased does not feel normal, in a good way. but it feels like the natural progression of all of these little implications, all of these little hints we get of their dynamic that are never told directly to you, that you just have to pick up on. theyre like my second or third favorite dynamic ever in this game. i hope maruki never encounters him again.
a witch and his companion
a snake and its prey
id just been thinking of how fondly i remember your braig characterization!!! its so good to see your work again :] i adore maruki im excited to see the vn. thank you for sharing it :D
GODDD i cannot believe someone still remembers that LOL that feels like it was so long ago now........ although i guess it was. i think the last time i posted abt him was like 7??? years ago? i genuinely didnt think someone would still remember that but im very honored that you enjoyed my work even back then!!!! id like to think ive grown a lot now since then haha, ty for having interest in the vn at all!!!! i really sincerely hope you enjoy reading it <33
my reality has become yours.
back in january, i finished a p5r fanmade visual novel and gave it a really small, private release because i didn't feel ready to release it on a larger scale. against my better impulses though, i'm slowly putting it up on some of my platforms for whoever may stumble across it.
please feel free to find said vn at the link above, mind the content warning, and read if you wish. it's not very long capping at maybe around an hour maximum at a slower pace. it's purely a labor of love made out of my own desire to see more of this sort of content.
if you do take the time to read caged, thank you very much, i really do appreciate it ^_^
new silly guy dropped a few months ago
happy rudolf saturday to all who celebrate
special (time length)ly art dump post for rudolf's birthday today <3
hi, sorry for the weird ask! i havenāt been properly in this fandom for a while but i was scrolling through blorbo tumblr tags for the first time in a while recently and i saw you talking about your trans rudolf headcanon thing which iāve always been kinda curious about.
maybe iām just paranoid, but when you said that last bit about transphobic vagueposts i went āman, that sucks!ā and then about 5 minutes later i remembered something random i posted like a year ago and went āwait, fuck, was that me?!āā so i just wanted to say that if it was me then iām genuinely very sorry and i want you to know that it 100% wasnāt meant as a jab at you or anything. i would hate for anyone to think i would stoop to transphobia, i honestly just made the meme cause iām femaligned and the format made me giggle. i quite like your hcs + art actually, i think your devotion is admirable and that you should keep it up! /gen /npa
thatās all really! no obligation to post this btw i just wanted to clear the air on a personal level lolā¼ļø (and obviously if itās not about this please ignore me hahaha)
oh my god shsgsjfhdjd i know you said that if this isnt abt you to just ignore it but also i feel like i should return you the service of reassuring you that my mention was NOT at all about you and i can already tell that from how sweet you are despite not knowing who you are exactly š
when i mentioned that vaguepost i was talking abt a genuinely transphobic person on twitter of the kind that like. refuses to believe that being trans is integral to some of uminekoās main themes dhdgdjgxjdgx like the kind that believes that beato isnāt trans. That Kind. so please rest assured that it was in no way shape or form abt you at all!!! this is actually a very nice ask dhgfjg thank you so much for your encouragement and kind words!!! š„ŗ and i appreciate the gesture even if it wasnt even needed here, trust me i totally understand being paranoid LOL but please ofc rest assured im 100% genuine when i say that it wasnāt about you at all, and im so sorry if i caused you any worries w that!!!! tysm for the love and i hope you carry on having fun posting, have a good day/night wherever you may be!!! š„°
every day i wake up and iām rudolf nationās strongest soldier
Omg heyyyy!! X3
who up postin they rudolf
*Spinning and twirling and holding your hands* I just got into the when they cry series and I love your art ā„ļø I really appreciate the nice comments! Rudolf is sososo baby girl to me~ like a less fucked up Patrick Bateman <3
(Also sorry for the red text. For some reason my phone is being funky but at least you know itās true lol)
oh my god getting this ask was an embarrassing reminder that people sure can see your tags on reblogs KJHGFDJHGUIDHGFD but im glad you appreciated them <33333 and im so glad you love my art!!!! š rudolf is like my favorite of all time ever hes like my #1 babygirl meow meow so i absolutely understand where youre coming from. I Get It i get you, i hope youve been enjoying getting into wtc!!! it's soooo beloved to me, and i hope you end up making more lovely fanart for it, your art is rly nice!!!!! offering you this catboy rudolf i drew a few months ago, a meow meow in exchange for a meow meow <3333