suicide being called âselfishâ
{this post is not encouraging suicide, just giving my opinion on those who call it selfish}
i have attempted suicide myself numerous times, as well as losing someone to suicide in December 2024 and i firmly believe that anyone who refers to suicidal people as âselfishâ are disgusting.
why is this mindset harmful?
this mindset is harmful to the mentally ill for numerous reasons.
demonisation - you are actively demonising somebody whoâs psychological suffering has been so immense that the complete end of their own life seems like a positive thing. if that isnât monstrous i donât know what is.
downplaying - you are downplaying the complexity and the level of pain that comes with being suicidal. a lot of people who struggle with suicide try incredibly hard to keep going if not for the hopes of something better then for the sake of the ones they love. sometimes itâs not as easy to just do something else and sometimes life is so fucking cruel that even trying to stay alive for your loved ones can become so mentally challenging. you do not understand how harsh this mindset is to have and that if you struggle in this way, then your struggles will exist no matter how much you love the people around you. it is not a reflection of how much you care for the people in your life.
reasoning - the reasoning most people use to justify this mindset is by bringing up the fact that those who love people who have killed themselves may be hurt as a result of their grief, which is ironically a selfish way to look at it. whilst, yes, that personâs loved ones will most likely be hurting and devastated at their loss, in the case of suicide, the people around the suicidal person are not the oneâs who are suffering the most. of course suffering isnât a competition, but to focus on the other people as being in pain whilst simultaneously scrutinising the person who was in so much psychological anguish that theyâd rather be dead, itâs a self-centred and unfair outlook on the situation.
coming clean - if people in your life hear you talk this way about those who have struggled with this mindset, they are less likely to come forward and seek help from you if they end up feeling this way as well. remember anyone can go through something that impacts their mental health, you may be closing that door of help to people in your life who may end up needing it.
so how do you approach the situation?
iâm not good at comforting others, but resorting to demonising a suffering person is not the solution.
you can acknowledge that the person who took their life was hurting, whilst simultaneously understanding and acknowledging that the people who are grieving that person are also in pain.
remember nobody has done anything specifically to hurt the people that care for them and that it isnât fair to behave in a way where life was cruel to a person and the cruelty continues once theyâre gone in terms of how you are now affecting their legacy.
donât let a dead person be remembered as âselfishâ just because they died by their own hands.
andulkaphoto
2087
titsay
tangentwithtanner
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