MADISON DEVINE

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Revisitation of Project 2

The original audience of my paper was students following the path to become a dermatologist. I assumed a basic level of knowledge about skin and terms related to the topic of dermatology. I used terms such as Botulinum toxin, photoaging, and kerotoses; such words would be well known by a dermatology student but not by just anyone reading this paper. I also discuss the path that most students would take to achieve the status of being a doctor in the field of dermatology. This would be unnecessary information for someone not interested in dermatology. 

The original context for this paper was to inform a dermatology student about cosmetic dermatology. I know this because right off the bat I discuss cosmetic dermatology and then go on to discuss the three top procedures done by cosmetic dermatologists. This information would be useless to students who are not studying dermatology. 

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Questions about Project 4

After reading the details for Project 4, I am a bit confused about we are supposed to do for this project. Is it another paper, just more focused on the audience? Or are we creating a 'real- life' application based on our paper? And if that is what are we are supposed to be doing, I am a bit concerned about how the timeline will affect my quality of work. 

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Review of Project 3

Looking back on Project 3, I would say that I did a mediocre job. It could have been better, but it was as good as it was going to be with everything else that is going on in my life right now. This paper was very easy for me to write because it was completely coming from my mind and most of it was very recent. I don't find the peer review process that helpful for this class. I find that I give my peers very good feedback and then all I get is a sentence or two back that I either do not agree with or really can't work with. 

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Feedback on Paper 3

After reviewing the feedback I received on Eli, it is clear that I need to write more about how laptops have influenced my life. I can easily add another paragraph to do that and still stay within the word limit. I also need to define literacy in the beginning so I should add more of an introduction because my paper is missing a definite one as of right now. Due to the additions I have to make, I will need to cut some of my paper, I'm thinking the part about MySpace and Facebook but that might change as I'm revising. Other than that, I think everything else is fine with my paper. 

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Response to Student Sample Essays

I enjoyed reading Sample Essay 5 a lot more than Essay 6. This is probably just because I can relate a lot more to Facebook than an RPG game (something I had to Google because I didn't know what that meant). I feel that both responded to the prompt in their own ways, however Essay 5 went a little more in depth as to how the technology affects her life and what it means to her. Essay 6 was a bit hard for me to follow in the end and I don't see how it truly affected the author, it was more a sentimental experience with one other person who was playing alongside the author in the game and how it changed her writing. I think that both of the papers conformed to MLA format quite nicely. However, in Essay 6, I personally think that there are too many block quotes. This might just be the way I was taught to write in high school but I don't think they helped the author that much to prove her point and they take up a lot of words/ space where analysis could have been instead. 

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Top 5 Moments of Technological Literacy

My Top 5 Moments Include: 

1. Using my mom's camcorder as a young child to record my 'plays' 

2. Playing with the family Gateway laptop in the early 2000s

3. Getting my first cell phone in 6th grade

4. Getting my MacBook when I turned 15

5. The first time I used my iPhone 

Getting my MacBook when I turned 15

On my 15th birthday, I received my first MacBook from my parents as my 'big gift'. It was a first generation MacBook Air and lasted until about 6 months ago. My parents gave it to me in a manilla folder, just like the commercials had advertised. I was so astounded at how light and thin it was, it was unreal. My then boyfriend was with me and we were so shocked at how awesome it was, I think he liked it more than I did, and I loved it. We immediately charged it and started messing around on it. Setting up my account and such. I can remember how amazed I was at how user- friendly Macs are; it's like the computer new what I wanted to do. The way the scroll pad works, it's so natural and works with your hand. I thought I was the coolest thing ever when I brought it into school with me the next day, I was in a lot of technology courses at the time and we used MacBooks everyday and I finally had my own. Everyone wanted to pick it up to feel how light it was and put it in their folders and everything, it was great, even my teachers were like little children when they played with it. 

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Response to Scribner

I haven't ever put much thought into the idea of 'functional literacy' but I like it. As I was reading the text I kept on thinking about how different functional literacy is between the U.S. and throughout Europe. In the U.S., people are only expected to be functional and literate in English, if you know the English language then you are completely fine. However, in Europe, not only are you expected to know your country- of- birth's language but you are also to be adequate, if not fluent, in the surrounding countries' languages. While traveling in Europe, I was completely fine while in Spain due to the fact that I am a fluent Spanish speaker and reader, but I was also expected to be able to speak or read French or Italian when necessary, which I was able to do but it got me thinking how stranded and completely illiterate most Americans would be in a situation like that. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be illiterate in your own country though, to live everyday being unable to read or write would be such a handicap for survival. 

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Response to Ramsdell

I actually love this piece by Ramsdell. While studying in New York, I took an Oral History of Irish History class and throughout Ramsdell's writing I found aspects that I have discussed previously with my Irish professor. Storytelling is a huge aspect of Irish culture and being 50% Irish I could relate to many things that she discussed. The idea of the "Who I Am story is interesting because stories are usually told about others while in Irish history they are almost always about the storyteller themselves or a close relative mixed with aspects of the storyteller. Her piece helped get me into the mindset of writing a narrative piece, something I have never been to comfortable with, but I think that I am ready to handle Project 3 by beginning with her starter points. 

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My First Experience with Digital Technology

My first experience with digital technologies was with my family's Gateway laptop in the early 2000s, therefore I am now very well- versed in how to use computers. The Gateway laptop we had was the first family computer present in my household. It was huge, very heavy, and about two inches in thickness. I used to play games like JumpStart Kindergarten and Magic School Bus: Bugs. From using the computer to play on I was able to know how to somewhat use one in school. During elementary school, I learned how to type and how to navigate the Internet. In 5th grade I got my own laptop for Christmas and ever since then, I have been an independent and able computer user. When I was 15, I got my first Apple computer, something that was actually very different than what I was used to. Ever since then I have been an Apple user exclusively. 

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Questions about Project 3

After reading the rubric for Project 3 the only question I really had was if we are choosing one technology, like a specific device to write about, or if we are writing about many kinds of technologies that have shaped our technology literacy. 

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Response to Sample Essays

I think the first one is too unprofessional, it is like someone is just talking about how important writing is in all fields, even veterinary medicine. It’s also way too long, I lost interest on the essay by page 6. I also think that her sources are very strange, like I don’t quite understand what the point of referencing “Chocolate Intoxication” is. The block quote she uses is way too long as well, I don’t think it’s good paper etiquette to have half of a page be a quote. Overall, this essay is not effective due to the lack of professionalism. It also doesn’t hit the mark on the essay prompt, all it talks about is the importance of writing in the field of veterinary medicine, not technology literacy whatsoever.

The second one is significantly better than the first. It has a professional tone and talks about technology in the field of journalism. The paper has very good flow, it introduces New Media in an effective way, then talks about the different kinds and aspects of social media sites, criticisms, the future of New Media, all of these paragraphs help to create a great paper that is easy for all to follow. The author uses in- text citations correctly and frequently to give credit to other authors. And has (what appears to be) a solid list of sources at the end that are all relative to the topic of the paper. 

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Revision Plan for Project 2

Peer Comment on Paper: I think the introduction of Cosmetic Dermatology is good, but maybe more information. I suggest that write more about careers and jobs which are related to this major. 

I can definitely add more information about Cosmetic Dermatology and Dermatology as a whole. I don't think I should add anything about careers and jobs relating to this major due to the fact that being a cosmetic dermatologist is the only career. 

Revision of Project 2

Focus: Throughout each paragraph, I need to refine my focus and make sure that there is little to no room for a reader to disagree with my thesis. I think I may need to solidify my introduction and conclusion however to tie the whole paper together

Arrangement: I think that my arrangement is good, I like the placement of all of my paragraphs and I think it makes sense. Within each paragraph however, I need to make sure that the proper flow of thought is there so that the reader can easily follow my train of thought. 

Development: I believe my paper is well developed. However, I definitely could bring in more sources to support my paper more thoroughly. I want to add more to the paragraph about people who disagree with cosmetic dermatology. 

Audience Awareness: I believe that there are no issues with my audience awareness, I do not know how I could approve this point. My audience would be dermatology students and I believe the language and topic is well suited for my potential audience. 

Language: I think that my language skills are well developed and fit well with the topic of my paper. 

Editing, MLA formatting, and other requirements: I believe my MLA format is correct. I do need to include the page numbers in my in- text citations though. 

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Audience for Project 2

How else can your hard work on this essay be put to good use?

Throughout all of the research I did for this project, I found many sources that I will definitely be using again on my path to becoming a dermatologist, whether cosmetic or medical. I don't know if I'll necessary use the paper again (I might reference it here and there) but the real treasure of this project were the sources I searched for so diligently. 

Who might be in the dark about writing and technology literacy in their majors and future careers. But how will they ever hear what you have to say?

Many first year medical students, like myself, would most likely be 'in the dark' about this level of cosmetic dermatology. However, it truly is standard information for future dermatologists. Throughout my future classes, I'm sure I'll have to bring up the information that I found during this project and would be more than happy to share it with my peers so that they learn the information as well. 

You’ll need to think hard about your audience and ask yourself a lot of questions. Who exactly will you be writing for?

After thinking about my intended audience, I reached the conclusion that I am honestly writing this for myself for future reference. My audience could also for medical students interested in the field of dermatology, specifically cosmetic dermatology. 


What are their characteristics as people? What are their concerns?

The people that I am writing this paper for are education in the field of medicine and should be aware of many of the words/ terms that I am using. That is why I was not concerned with dropping Latin names and using the vocabulary that I did. Medicine is a professional, scientific field so a professional, scientific paper is necessary. 

What writing strategies will be most effective in communicating with them?

In order to effectively communicate with my audience, my writing has to be as scientific and factually based as possible. Explaining what these procedures are/ how they are made and what their purposes are does not have much wiggle room and due to the fact that they are dealing with the medical safety of others, it needs to be as factual and objective as I can make it. As fun as being creative with writing is, there is no room for misunderstanding or miscommunication in medicine. 

And how will they be able to access your writing, i.e., how will you get your writing into their hands, and where and when will they be reading what you wrote?

In my future classes, I’m sure I’ll have the opportunity to reference the material I collected and the paper I wrote for Project 2. I will share it with my peers if they are interested. Medical technology is always evolving so it might be an interesting compare/ contrast option down the road when new technologies and procedures are introduced to the field. Hopefully, when I achieve my goal of becoming a dermatologist I will get research published in dermatology journals, then other dermatologists around the country would see my writing. 

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Project 2 Paragraph

Normal skin follows a typical path of aging including discoloration, wrinkles, and photoaging (Burgess). These changes are due to intrinsic and extrinsic factors. Intrinsic factors include the decrease in hormones that occurs with aging, telomere shortening over time, genetics, and the formation of reactive oxygen species (ROS), which are “generated by oxidative cellular metabolism” (Puizina-Ivic). Extrinsic factors include UV radiation, stress, poor eating, poor lifestyle choices, and environmental pollutants. With no cosmetic interference, most skin will show to same problems as it matures. During the ages of 20 to early 30s, there is very little damage visibly present. There are little to no wrinkles, minimal photoaging, and almost no discoloration (Puizina-Ivic). By the time the patient is in their late 30s and 40s, wrinkles are beginning to permanently form, photoaging is becoming more prominent, and keratoses, or small bumps on skin that are protein build- ups, are beginning to form (Puizina-Ivic). When the patient is in their 50s, deep- set wrinkles are continuing to form, there is advanced photoaging present, discoloration of the skin, or dyschromia, is beginning to take place, and keratoses are highly visible (Puizina-Ivic). By the time is patient is 60 years of age and older, the face is almost completely composed of wrinkles, there is severe photoaging, dyschromia is very obvious, and there is no ‘normal’ skin left, this is also a time when precancerous contusions can form (Puizina-Ivic). Many people are not willing to go through this normal process of aging and will try to avoid for as long as possible. This is when they turn to cosmetic procedures that help to change the appearances that are inevitable.

Work Cited:

Burgess, Cheryl M. Cosmetic Dermatology. Berlin: Springer, 2005. Print.

Puizina-Ivic, Niera. “Skin Aging.” Acta Dermatoven APA 17.2 (2008): 47-54. Google Scholar. Web. 10 June 2012. <http://scholar.google.com>.

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Annotated Bibliography for Project 2

First Source:

Burgess, Cheryl M. Cosmetic Dermatology. Berlin: Springer, 2005. Print.

This is a textbook about cosmetic dermatology written by Dr. Cheryl Burgess, M.D. It has chapters on things like ingredient technologies, chemexfoliation and skin resurfacing, botulinum toxin, laser technologies, and many other things relating to the cosmetic aspect of dermatology and how it helps with actual and superficial anti- aging.

    Second Source:

Puizina-Ivic, Niera. "Skin Aging." Acta Dermatoven APA 17.2 (2008): 47-54. Google Scholar. Web. 10 June 2012. <http://scholar.google.com>.

This is an article written by Dr. Niera Puizina- Ivic, M.D. about typical skin aging, both intrinsically and extrinsically. This article will help with my paper because I will be able to refer to “normalized” skin aging and how cosmetic dermatology slows down/ stops this from happening.

    Third Source:

Wollina, Uwe, Alberto Goldman, Uwe Berger, and Mohammed Badawy Abdel-Naser. "Esthetic and Cosmetic Dermatology." Dermatologic Therapy 21.2 (2008): 118-30. Google Scholar. Web. 10 June 2012. <http://scholar.google.com>.

This is an article about different types of problems and treatments within the field of cosmetic dermatology. It discusses botulinum toxin, cellulite, lipotransfer, and laser technologies. It references studies done previously and also includes before and after pictures of successful lipolysis. 

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Letter to A Future Spartan

Dear Future MSU student,

            Writing your first college- level research paper can be a daunting task but with the use of the MSU Library it will be a lot easier. To start, you can find the website for the library at www.lib.msu.edu. From there click on the “Undergraduate Page” button and that will take you to where you will do the majority of your online research. Once you are on the undergraduate page, you can easily find articles, books, and a plethora of research help. I recommend that you begin your research by clicking on the green button that says “Research Help” and then going to research guides. The page should look like this, www.er.lib.msu.edu/guides.cfm. You can then browse research guides by subject. I have found this to be the easiest way of starting my search for sources. The nice thing about this is that it will find scholarly journal databases that are reliable sources of information. These are what you will want to use for your papers instead of a random .com website that you found on Google. You should always make sure that your main sources are credible sites that have peer reviewed or list references that aided in their research.

            Another important aspect of research is finding primary sources to help solidify your evidence. A primary source is source that provides a first- hand experience of an event, someone’s life, or a time period. They include letters, diaries, oral histories, manuscript notes, field notes, organizational records, ephemera (things like ticket stubs or posters), and visual sources. For more information on primary sources you can visit: www.lib.msu.edu/exhibits/primesource/pslinks.jsp.

            If at any time during your research you reach point where you need help, the librarians at MSU are more than happy to help you. There are many ways to receive their help. The following are what I have found to be the easiest ways to get help:

-       Go to the library in person and go to the main desk on the first floor

-       Text them at 66746 and start your question with “askMSU”

-       Call them at [phone] or (1.800) 500.1554

-       Instant message them by clicking on “Ask a Librarian” on the undergraduate page

I recommend making time to actually go into the library to do research, don’t attempt to do it all online. There are many valuable sources in the library that you cannot check out, they have to be used while you are there, these are sources like high- use periodicals, special collections materials, and microforms. Don’t exclude these from your research just because you don’t want to go to the library, it will be worth it in the end. Your paper will be that much stronger because you took the time to find great sources.

                                                                                    From,

                                                                                    A Current Student

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Response to Dana Goodyear's "I <3 Novels"

Using what I learned from Bunn's article, I was almost hypercritical of Goodyear's piece. My main question/ criticism was, who is her audience? As I was reading the same question kept popping up in my head "who cares at all about cellular novels?" Of course that wasn't exactly the language that my internal voice was using by that's the rated- G version. Maybe it was just because I couldn't relate to the culture that this 'phenomenon' erupted from. I, in no way, relate myself to 20- 30 year old Japanese women, and frankly, I find it strange that Dana Goodyear found the need to write a paper on it for the world to read. My only guess is that she is studying women's literature, maybe? I do like how she went back and forth between giving the facts and then telling the readers about her time with Mone and Kiki. It made the essay a bit more interesting to read and gave personas to these cellular authors. 

After reading, I think some of her research questions could have been:

1. Has writing changed since the development of smart phones? 

Goodyear mentions how the cellular novel is the first literary genre to emerge from the creation of cellular devices. She then goes on to discuss the website known as 'Maho i-Land' and how that is strictly devoted to cellular novels being written/ published in Japan. 

2. How have women attached themselves with 'cellular novels'? 

Goodyear really only discusses the relationship between women and cellular novels. She only mentions female authors and gives the example of the "loser- dogs" or women who are in their 30s and still single and how they live for these novels. It's a way of escaping their own realities and focusing on love stories, whether they are based in truth or completely made up. 

3. What role do cellular novels play in contemporary women's literature?

From the reading as a whole, I kind of picked up the theme of how these novels are giving voices to women who were previously submissive. It's almost like it's a form of women empowerment. It women ranging from teen- aged to adult that are writing these novels, on their phones, and then winning awards and becoming internet sensations, and then becoming actual authors, something that I would assume has not been possible in Japan previously.