cause and effect

Mia Saint Laurence "I'm hanging on to the end of this rope. Somewhere on the outskirts of hope. Life with you not around, another kid in lonely town." 20 and a Haverford resident + also currently jobless

[tyler-d-obrien-blog]

I like to stray away from the norm, you know, anyone would be sitting there gnawing on cotton candy clouds, I want door frames made of twizzlers, make my heaven the Candy Land game board minus anything licorice. Are you calling my mother a liar? More importantly, are you saying you a bad bitch? I’m not a boy, I’m a man.

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

You know I’m pretty sure if you take enough drugs you can make that a reality, honestly. I mean Candy Land in real life sounds epic. I’m not calling her liar I just think she’s obligated to think you’re a good person because she’s your mom. It doesn’t mean you aren’t a good sweet innocent little boy. I wouldn’t say a bad bitch, more like a troubled slash doesn’t have her shit together kind of bitch. You’re a man? Really?

[tyler-d-obrien-blog]

You won’t even have the chance to have a heart attack, you’ll already be in heaven with a red carpet made of fruit rollups laid out for you. My mom told me I’m a good guy, so it’s legit, trust me. I look cute? You mean like in a manly, studly kind of way, right?

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

The imagery of what you just said was pretty insane. Who doesn’t love someone with an imagination? Oh come on she kind of has to say that, you’re her son. I mean my mom says I’m a good girl but that’s not necessarily one hundred percent true. I did considering boys tend to have some vendetta against being called cute. 

[tyler-d-obrien-blog]

Oh hell yeah I put hot dogs in my mac and cheese. It’s the ultimate dish, you get a double pieces of your childhood and two of the best foods invented. Grab some pizza on the side and you might die of pure euphoria. I’ll dress more homeless if it will make you feel better about yourself. That’s how good of a guy I am.

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

Yeah and a possible chance of a heartattack an hour or two later, but then again it is mac and cheese and hot dogs... and pizza, which kind of makes it all worth it. So you’re a good guy, hm? I mean usually someone else is the judge of that but I’ll take your word for it. Maybe. Looks can be deceiving. But you don’t need to do that, you look cute now.

[tyler-d-obrien-blog]

I’d be willing to share my food if you’d be willing to help me cook it. And just to clarify, when I say help I mean I buy the ingredients and you do the majority of the work, but I make hot dogs to put in the mac and cheese, thus putting my stamp in it, making it mine. Please say yes, feed me, I’m hungry.

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

I mean I guess that’s sort of a fair deal. Although I’m usually more of the supervision and not to do anything at all type. You put hotdogs in your macaroni and cheese though? I mean not passing any judgment or anything, I’m open to trying new things in and outside of food but I’ve never heard of that before. But since this kind of makes me a good person by feeding the hungry then sure, I’ll feed you.

[tyler-d-obrien-blog]

I don’t know much, but much can be made about my knowledge of eating, I’m borderline expert in that area.

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

So I can tell—not because you’re fat or anything but people just tend to like to eat. If you need help with eating that mac and cheese I volunteer. I mean I am kind of the key to it getting made really so you kind of owe me.

[siouxsie-kahlo]

“I still don’t get the buzz about pumpkin spice. I’ve tried stuff and I don’t get it… But maybe it’s ‘cause this girl I was getting coffee with once spilt her latte on me and I had to ride the train home with my crotch smelling like pumpkin pie, so I just associate them with awkward first dates that don’t have a follow up.”

“But seriously. Why is pumpkin like, a big a thing?”

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

“It’s a trend people, people jump on it to be in style or whatever you want to call it. Can’t say I haven’t ordered one once. Not a fan of the taste but I do love the smell of pumpkin spice. I have like nine candles, all of which I’ve almost burned down my house with. Which sounds almost as great as the girl you were getting with spilling her latte on your crotch.”

[tyler-d-obrien-blog]

“Yo, do you know if you need milk to make mac and cheese?”

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

“No not necessarily, that is if you want shit mac and cheese. But if you don’t then yeah, I would. I'm curious to know how much you know about cooking.”

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

“I do. It’s an awesome job, to be hoest. You should, you should! People always have a great time. Yeah, the actual jump is always fun. Once you’ve done that, you feel like you can do anything. Right right, as innocent as it gets, well that’s good.”

“I wouldn’t mind doing that. For now, I’m kind of a professional sleeper, unemployed actually. I’m more surprised I haven’t done it already than me being really scared. I’ll definitely have to do it. I mean I guess, innocence is pretty fun to get rid of too.”

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

“You are? That’s awesome. You should drop by my work someday - I’ll toss you out of a plane and give you a discount. Yup, not a serial killer yet. I mean, what makes a serial killer? More than three murders in a year or something like that? Then definitely not a serial killer yet, but almost. I’m kidding. Nah, cute serial killers are a rare breed, I hear.”

“So you jump out of planes and get paid for it. That’s one hell of a job. But I actually might have to stop by then. It sounds like it could be fun. Especially the being tossed out part. I wouldn’t know the criteria about being a serial killer because yours truly is as innocent as it gets. They are.

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

“Terrifying, yes, thrilling though? I don’t know about that, but we might just be different kinds of people. Ah, yeah, you’re right, that is something a serial killer would say. Maybe I am one then. That’s not what a serial killer would say, is it? Pretty unpredictable isn’t a bad thing though. Not in my book.”

“I’m a bit of an adrenaline drunkie. Not to mention I kind of have this weird knack for horror, but anyways. I mean I think it’s pretty safe to assume you’re not one by now. I’d be a little disappointed if you were. A cute serial killer is always a bummer. Oh it’s not a bad thing to you? Why so?”

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

“That’s true. I could be a serial killer without you even knowing. I’m not though, don’t worry. Sort of on your best behavior, huh?”

“I mean you could. That’d be thrilling and terrifying. That’s something a serial killer would say, no offense. Sort of, I can’t promise that I’m always good. I have tendency to be pretty unpredictable.”

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

Probably. Kids do think they are unbreakable, despite the known fact that they are. Why would you want to be challenged by someone who is mentally unstable? That’s probably not a fun game to plat, but I digress, it’s none of my business. Well, like I said, not my area of expertise, so I wouldn’t have a real opinion. Count yourself lucky, I usually charge $1,200 an hour. 

Ah I’m pretty breakable actually. Kinda realized that a few years ago when my brother died and I got sent to a mental institution for being suicidal. So since then I’ve just been trying to keep it together. What I meant by that was that no one likes or wants an easy love. An easy love is boring. Alright then, suit yourself. I’m curious what your area of expertise exactly is. And if you’re actually worth the $1,200 per hour.

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

Ahh, I see. It’s not boring, it’s relaxing– it’s nice. It’s good. At least I think it is. And I have plenty excitement in my life, I don’t need someone who’s slightly insane giving me something more to deal with. I don’t want that. I am a lawyer, yes. It does, but that has nothing to do with– criminal activities. To my knowledge, and I don’t practice that sort of law, so it’s been awhile since I’ve read about it in a book, but a conservatorship is when the judge appoints a person as to control someone’s finances and daily life due to physical limitations, mental limitations, or old age. And you don’t look like you fit any of those descriptions, so my guess is you’re barking up the wrong then when it comes to that. The right to vote never even comes up there. That’s all I’m saying. 

Maybe I just see things that way because I’m young. Think of it as the exuberance of youth and all that. I’d just hate to be romantically interested in someone who has everything together. That just doesn’t sound like much of a challenge. Looks like I guessed right. Believe it or not, I’m actually a little crazy according to some people. I think I’m pretty much fine but others tend to disagree. Maybe I’ll even show you the paperwork or tell you about it sometime, let you be the judge and all that. But I really like when you speak lawyer to me.

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

You have a definitive taste in lawyers? You are in a position to be in their offices frequently? –Well, probably people who are on the rocker, and don’t like deviation. Well– that doesn’t even matter. You do a crime, and get convicted as a felony, you lose the right to vote. That’s just how it is. It’s felony disenfranchisement. 

I’ve had a few legal issues before, not criminally, mostly my parents actually. Oh come on being kind of sane and put together is boring after awhile. Everyone needs a little excitement in their life. Including you. I’m going to guess you’re a lawyer? Or you have some knowledge in law. I think under a conservatorship, the conservatee doesn’t lose the right to vote unless the judge says so. But yeah if that entire felony thing happens I’m definitely not voting. Wouldn’t be much of a lose since American politics are pretty shit.

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

“Nah, you don’t look scary at all - but then again, looks can be deceiving, right? I’m just kidding, I’m sure you’re as non-scary as you look non-scary.”

“Maybe. I mean after all, maybe I’m not the scary one between us two. But I’m a good girl most of the time. I try to be on my best behavior, sort of.”

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

phoebe-beaumont:

Well I don’t think you’re that bad…Well you’re not. To be honest, we seem to have a few things in common.

I mean we both have a thing for criminal activity and getting arrested. How much more common does it really get?

[miasaintlaurence-blog]

Be careful with that. I hear public defenders are a more homely sort. Unless of course you’re paying, then you can scout out whoever will want to take on that sort of case. Maybe you should look more into a good psychiatrist. That might be better than getting arrested. I mean, you wouldn’t want to lose your right to vote would you? 

I can incorporate homely into that, maybe. Yeah, I’ll probably end up paying for a private lawyer. I have pretty peculiar taste when it comes to lawyers, believe it or not. A psychiatrist would be a good investment, but who really doesn’t like someone who is a little off their rocker? My right to vote... I’m pretty sure the court has to prove I’m sane enough to vote under a conservatorship.