Musings a la MichelledaBelle @michelledabelle - Tumblr Blog

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fall-out-boy

on this day, 6 yrs ago, bruno mars was surprised to see pete wentz

vicesandvirtves

on this day, 7 yrs ago, bruno mars was surprised to see pete wentz

wheelchair-warrior

on this day, 8 years ago, bruno mars was surprised to see pete wentz

The rain can hurt you

Spring

A time for growth and change. Melting away the cold, dark, heavy stuff. Letting go of the things that don’t serve you. Letting go of what weighs you down, what hurts you, what doesn’t better you. Letting your leaves and flowers blossom and poke up from the earth. Searching for the sunlight and basking in the warm glow that nurtures you. Watering your roots with what feeds you.

Understanding that seasons change - in your world, in your life, in your career, your relationships.

Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it hails in May. Sometimes you think your flowers are strong and then a windstorm comes and blows them half off and you have to grow stronger and reach harder towards the sun.

I never knew the rain could hurt me. I never knew that what I looked to to nourish and support and celebrate me - that that could also knock my petals off, blow me over, bend my stem, and turn my face away from the sun.

The rain can hurt me.

So now I remember that the sun is getting stronger and the summer is coming. That I have the power to let go of what doesn’t serve me. To remember that if I continue to grow towards the light and I continue to nourish myself and deepen my roots and share my water with my friends, that I will be strong and healthy and beautiful.

I can’t make anyone appreciate the beauty of the petals I grow. But I can be proud of myself. I can be healthy. I can focus on my own happiness. I can let go of what doesn’t serve me.

So I look for the sun and I deepen my roots.

#spring #fresh start #renewal #rebirth #springtime #spring cleaning #grow #self care

it’s no fun to feel like you’re letting folks down and it’s even worse when you know that you are

how do you stop being selfish? i feel like i have realized that i want to look outward. but it keeps cycling round to me examining myself and getting wrapped up in my own head. how do i recognized the blinders i’ve had on, get over the feelings of guilt or remorse, and look out instead of in?

The burden of sex

So, I noticed something the other day.

I was at a CVS, which doesn’t happen often, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

I noticed the “family planning” aisle on the far left of the store, near the pharmacy, and the “feminine care” aisle on the right, near the makeup and the door. Fine, okay, layouts depend on the store shape and size and location and who cares.

I went to the “family planning” section, thinking there I’d find pregnancy tests.

Nope.

Instead, I found condoms and lube and vibrators (vibrators! At CVS! Who knew!).

In the “family planning” aisle.

So I navigate my way back through the maze to the “feminine care” aisle to find pregnancy tests there, alongside tampons and pads and douching stuff (probably). In the aisle next to shaving cream and razors, makeup on the other side.

How is it fair that the burden of a pregnancy test fall solely on a woman? How is this considered “feminine care” and not “family planning”? A woman has to look at these tests every time she buys tampons, is reminded that her bleeding vagina isn’t carrying a baby. That if she had sex or not, she still has to spend $12 on tampons or pads this month. And if she did have sex and wants to find out why her period is late, she has to spend another $18 on a pregnancy test.

A man who is buying condoms gets to look at fun stuff like lube and vibrators and doesn’t have to face the potential consequences if that condom fails.

There’s no mention of pregnancy in the “family planning” aisle. Just sex.

Why are we allowing men the pure enjoyment of sex while women have to deal with the consequences of pregnancy (or lack thereof) in our own separate aisle?

This is sex shaming. This is women being forced to bear responsibilities while “boys will be boys” and men escape the consequences. We are teaching women not to get raped instead of men not to rape. We are teaching men that sex is fun and do whatever, and women get a monthly reminder as they buy tampons that they may get pregnant - and it’s only they who have to deal with it. We can’t ruin a man’s fun sexy time by stocking pregnancy tests near the condoms, who wants to think about the potential for pregnancy when they’re going to have sex? Women can deal with that possibility when they get (or don’t) their periods.

I don’t understand why pregnancy tests don’t fall under “family planning.”

#sex #sex shaming #women #men #CVS #pregnancy #pregnancy test #feminism #bullshit #equality

wnq-anonymous

Perhaps most of all, though, you deserve to be okay. You deserve to know that a day in which you can just barely get out of bed because you are sad, or sick, or simply not ready to see the outside is not the end of the world. You deserve to know that moments of weakness do not make you fundamentally weak, only fundamentally human, and that sometimes we’re not going to be effusively happy, and that is okay. You deserve to be happy just existing and not constantly holding yourself up to a standard of fake smiles and forced cheerfulness. You deserve to not beat yourself up when you do not reach perfect acceptance of your body, your personality, the love you receive, or anything else that may come your way. Though you should know that you are worthy of these things, learning to be happy just in a kind of stasis with yourself is a long process, and you should know that we are all working on it.

Chelsea Fagan (via wnq-anonymous)

abstract-dimension

sosuperawesome

Candles by NerdieNifties on Etsy

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#wishlist

kushandwizdom

self-love takes time. days, months, years…don’t rush it. we’re all working on it.

Wolftyla (via kushandwizdom)

(via

kushandwizdom

)

this morning my schedule got messed up because i had to take the dog out because he decided to sleep in and then leave early, without taking her out. i don’t build that 15 minutes into my schedule without advance warning. i was really frustrated. it was selfish of him. and maybe of me too. i don’t know. i was mad.

and then i had two people not follow basic traffic rules and impact my drive. one guy at the 4 way stop decided he, as the turner, didn’t have to yield to me, going straight. don’t i have the right of way?? and then i had to wait for an idiot casually walking across the street when it wasn’t his turn and i was then blocking traffic in the intersection. i just don’t understand people. follow the rules.

i just, cracked. i was yelling at both of these people as the incidents were happening, just yelling at them to move, or they were breaking the rules, or what are you doing god damn it just fucking get out of the way.

and then i cried a lot. i sobbed, like actual sobs. i was super squinty and still driving and had my sunglasses on and was just crying and had to dig some napkins out of the door to blow my nose.

i was just so mad and frustrated at these people inconveniencing me and making me look bad and not doing it right.

i was angry at him for changing the routine without telling me or thinking ahead or being considerate.

i am just so scared and sad and frustrated with myself for not knowing. what am i doing. what do i want. what am i good at. why can’t i just get what i want. why can’t i want something reasonable. why can’t i do better, have more, get there. i am angry at myself for not doing better.

i have no resolution, i still don’t know anything. i am in this limbo and i can’t fall and i can’t stand up and i can’t take a step and there are a lot of people watching me and so many things in the balance and i just can’t don’t how know what.