i shit out my ass

21 and i will reblog funny nsfw you cant stop me!!!

[thehummingbirdsmatter]

I love when a meme gets so many steps away from its source material that it would be completely incomprehensible if I didn't know what today's date was

[lambhoof-deactivated20150613]

[do-you-have-a-flag]

🎹🎂20 YEARS OF NEIL🎂🎹

[arrow-ettes]

how it's feeling rn

[sumetal]

if leon kennedy was a little bug with a long proboscis it'd be called resident weevil. but he's not and it's not and i just don't know anymore

[liarsblade]

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

[liarsblade]

[a-potato-of-death]

[ivytea]

requiem for vanished birdsong

[shoezuki]

obsessed with the canadian ghoulmaxxing acecel

[hydrahowl]

you think im petting you but actually i a,m takig you away

FOR THE LOVW OF GOD HELP ME

[leix0-dm-afterhours]

Riskoh doodles

[sprucewoodmpreg]

^^^^ HOW IT FELT WATCHING THIS CLIP

[sprucewoodmpreg]

>be me >draft up a joke email to avid for a post >"Lol what are your pronouns are you a girl lol" >go to sleep >wake up >the email was not saved as a draft >i somehow sent it to him >mfw avid then brings it up MULTIPLE TIMES on his livestream >i close my laptop and get up to pace around my room >whoops.png >stepped on my ankle wrong and fucked it up >goes to the doctor >boot.jpg

the moral of the story is NEVER EMAIL MINECRAFT YOUTUBERS!!!!!!!!!!

[sprucewoodmpreg]

feel free to stop reblogging this at literally any time

[decamarks]

AFTER NEARLY 19 YEARS OF THIS STUPID WEBSITE

[blowery]

also, on web, we just launched an advanced search dialog that should help folks use all the new operators we added.

[sybilius]

So true....

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[sicknastyjr]

one time my friend was talking about how sexy harry styles is and i needed to argue with her so i started desperately looking for this image but i could not find it despite my best efforts like i was frantically googling stuff like harry styles pink pants harry styles shirtless suspenders pilgrim hat harry styles leotard bulge harry styles mustard piss stain but it was eluding me at every turn

[paranormal-taters]

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

[paranormal-taters]

okay nevermind it IS a word now and this is exactly what it means.

[playing-for-keeps]

teeth are the horses of the body

[playing-for-keeps]

ohhh look at me i’m not bones i’m Special Bones. i need Special Bone Expensive Insurance. sometimes the Special Bone Expensive Doctor just goes “yeah that’s fucked up” and you have to pay him anyway. don’t brush? gums recede. brush too hard? gums also recede. don’t floss? problems. floss? still problems! sometimes i’ll just break and die for no reason. lots of them at the kentucky derby

[alphacrone]

when you drink all the wine in the house and then you have. :( no wine in the house

[podcastwizard]

me when i excuse myself during a dinner party to sneak outside and milk more cabernet sauvignon from the Creature

[podcastwizard]

had food poisoning when i posted this

[martinkhall]

Well if you'd pasteurized the Cabernet Sauvignon you milked from the creature maybe you wouldn't have gotten food poisoning from it.

[podcastwizard]

oh suddenly everyone's an expert on the Creature i milk

[gothgaymoth]

my new years resolution is 480x640. Gettig smaller

[spyglassrealms]