Jaskier cannot cook much, BUT, I submit that he is an excellent cookâs helper.Â
Got in trouble at home? âGo help the cook,â and he is promptly made to put his excess energy to use beating SO MANY egg whites, and plucking chickens, and doing things that his parents maybe thought were humiliating for a noble to do? but little Jaskier doesnât know any better. Heâs just happy to be useful, and also the cook secretly gives him a sweetmeat when he does an extra good job. Â
Got in trouble at boarding school? âGo help the cook,â and this time the cook is meal prepping to feed a bunch of teenage boys, and Jaskier chops SO MANY onions, peels bushels of potatoes, kneads countless balls of dough, and bundles and dries fresh fruits and herbs before winter. This cook doesnât give him candy, but they are a fount of good jokes and good gossip, which to teenage Jaskier is basically the same thing.Â
Got in trouble at university? Jaskier doesnât actually have to help the cook, but the cook is still one of the best gossips on campus and by now heâs used to thinking through the cause and effect of his actions while his hands are busy doing cooking-adjacent things. He also makes himself at home in various tavern kitchens, trading chores for performance time because Oxenfurt is a locale with more singers than places to sing.
The Witcher version of scut work is a bit different, but Jaskier makes grabby hands without thinking and does all the plucking when Geralt finds a bird for dinner; he figures out how to build a campfire thatâs good for both cooking and warmth; after a period of careful observation, he starts helping with Potion Nights by prepping the herbs Geralt uses for his disgusting potions, because he doesnât know alchemy but he does know how to grind, chop, and macerate things. It doesnât occur to him not to do this. He is a DELIGHT and his presence is a GIFT, but he also suspects that Geralt has mentally plopped him into a box labelled âtrouble,â and, well, Jaskier knows what to do when heâs there, doesnât he?Â
When Jaskier gets to Kaer Morhen, he looks at Vesemir. Vesemir looks at him. Jaskierâs âin troubleâ senses tingle even though he hasnât had time to do anything yet. He shows up at the kitchen the next morning, bleary-eyed but entirely willing to chop the cabbages and onions that theyâll need for the midday meal. Jaskier makes himself personable, compliments the repairs done on the keep and sings a song from when Vesemir was a child because heâs the kind of academic who researches music from hundreds of years ago for fun and wants to know if the song was supposed to say âthe sun rises like a water buffaloâ or âlike well-water from below.âÂ
Vesemir says Jaskier might as well come back to help with dinner, and Jaskier doesnât realize itâs a compliment. Â
Later that day, when theyâre prepping the evening meal, Vesemir says, âMake the gravy when youâre done with those potatoes,â and Jaskier says, âHow do I do that?â because Jaskier is a gravy-stirring expert. THERE WILL BE NO LUMPS IN HIS GRAVY. But like, no cook has ever trusted him with the gravy-starting process. And Vesemir is, deep in his soul, a teacher, and Jaskier, deep in HIS soul, actively wants to learn everything in the known universe, so theyâre actually a pretty good match.Â
Vesemir shows him how to make gravy, and also a bunch of other things, so gradually and matter-of-factly that Jaskier doesnât really think about it. He takes Jaskier on little plant-gathering field trips and shows him how to find the best places to set snares. Away from the younger wolves, Jaskier feels less like he has to âperform.â Vesemir gets to tell Jaskier some of the stories that the other Witchers have heard a dozen times already, and there are no Witcher traditions telling him how to treat bards.Â
Jaskier is canny enough to ask Vesemir questions about his stories that make him think of old events in new ways, and itâs the same with old recipes. âWhy this and not that?â and âWhat would happen ifâŠ?â Since Vesemir is a learn-from-experience kind of guy, usually his answer is âletâs find outâ and they set up a little test pot next to the big tried-and-true one.Â
(âItâs called curiosity, Geralt,â but also itâs craftsmanship, Jaskierâs natural tendency to push, pull, and tweak until something is the best it can be for the people who consume it. His audience deserves good things.)Â
There comes a day near the end of winter when the only thing Vesemir has to do in the kitchen is tell Jaskier what he wants for dinner and then lounge around with a glass of wine to keep an eye on things. After everyone has eaten, Vesemir announces proudly to the other Witchers that todayâs delicious meal has been hunted, gathered, and cooked entirely by Jaskier. Jaskier abruptly realizes that maybe he was never in trouble at all.Â
Cooking isnât atonement for Jaskier anymore. Instead itâs an act of creation, giving, and love.Â
(Next winter, Vesemir is going to start teaching Jaskier about alchemy.)Â
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