Ian Fletcher

[sebastianfletcher]

Seb found it cool that Ian told him he got the little brother treatment too. He smiled back at Ian when he said he was glad that Seb thought he was coo. "Course I do. I've always thought all my big brothers were cool." Ian might be a little brother too but he was always Seb's big brother. "Yeah we should," he agreed readily about doing it again. Though now Seb wasn't so sure about wanting to invite any of his other mates to Al's. Ian's confession stopped him from having to sit with that feeling. "No way," he replied very impressed by Ian's nerve to do something like that. "I wish. But Cal's always been weird about stuff with Al. I'm all for doing that again, though! Al really did like it too. Makes sense cause he's always asking us about our mates and stuff." Seb wondered if Al was maybe lonely in that big house of his. Even if he wasn't he clearly liked having them around. Not their mum but Seb couldn't blame him for that. He remembered the way their mum had tried really hard to snag him, and now she just talked bad about him. But Al had never been weird about all of that. At least not that he knew of, maybe Cal knew better. There were better things to think of. "I still can't believe you did that, that was really cool." Seb didn't think he'd have the nerve but it was cool Ian had. It was easy to talk to Ian about Dirk. Not because he thought Ian already knew but because Ian had wanted to make sure Seb knew liking blokes was okay and had even talked to him up here away from everyone else. "I think it'd be fun. But I like Ethan," he was quick to add. His smile broadened when Ian talked about Dirk. He listened intently as Ian talked about how things with Ethan had been and how it was similar to him and Dirk. "Huh. I didn't think about how it was sort of the same thing. Thanks for that. Maybe I will." He'd have to think about it, figure out how to be thoughtful. Find a good time too. But maybe he ought to give it a go. Maybe it wouldn't hurt.

[middlefletcher]

Ian grinned when Seb said he'd always thought his big brothers were cool. That meant a lot, especially seeing as Seb had gone to Hogwarts like Cal and met a lot of normal people. "And I've always thought all my younger brothers were cool," he replied with a cheeky grin given that Seb was his only younger brother, but the compliment was genuine. Seb was a cool younger brother. It wasn't a surprise when Seb agreed they should have friends over to Al's again, but Ian was glad he was on board. He couldn't help but grin at Seb's surprise when he confessed to going behind Cal's back. "Yes way." It wasn't something Ian felt great about doing, but in this particular situation it had felt okay. Cal had only seemed a little annoyed at him, anyways. Probably because Mac was causing him even bigger problems, which in hindsight maybe made it worse that Ian had caused him a small one. But they'd all had fun at Al's that day, even Cal. Ian had enjoyed not just hanging out with Ethan but getting to Dirk and Henry too. It was nice knowing Seb and Sadie's mates. "Right? I think Al liked meeting all our mates. I liked hanging out with your mates too," he added, grinning wider when Seb said it was cool he'd just done it. "I kind of can't either, but I'm glad I did. It was fun. I'll just ask Al again and then tell Cal it's happening," he decided. He smiled when Seb said he liked Ethan. "I'm glad." He almost added, 'me too,' then realized that much was obvious. He wished he could be more useful with Seb's bloke stuff, but he was glad Seb was talking to him about it and he was doing his best with his limited experience. And it sort of seemed like maybe he was helping a little bit. "Sure. Happy to talk about it if you do decide you wanna tell him. Not sure how much help I'll be, but I'm here," he said with a smile.

[sebastianfletcher]

"Really?" Seb was surprised about that. "Guess a little brother is always a little brother even if he's a cool older brother too." Because he figured if they were doing it to Ian it was for the same reasons, protecting him like they did the other younger kids. He'd just always figured it was the three of 'em, though mostly Mac and Ian when Cal was away, that were doing the planning, plotting, worrying, whatever it was they did. At least now he knew they probably weren't discussing him, he hoped. Seb was glad they agreed about Al. "By far," he agreed. "It was really fun having friends over ot his. Hope we get to do it again." He knew Al owuld let them it was just if Cal would. "Yeah, sure," Seb said back with a laugh. He did not believe Ian was sorry at all. It was okay though because now he knew he wasn't weird which was fantastic. He laughed at Ian's comment about birds. Before he could tease his brother about any of it, Ian was getting him. Seb smiled way to big to try and say any bloke would do. He'd never been like this about any of the birds he'd wanted to snog. But none of them had ever spoke other languages, talked to a merman, or were anywhere near as impressive as Dirk. "Alright, there is a bloke who I think would probably be pretty great to snog," feeling a little shy about it which was not him at all, at least with birds. "But I dunno. I mean he's..." Seb hesitated before realizing that Ian had probably overheard Sadie and her big mouth about him liking Dirk. "It's Dirk," he said. He'd denied it to Sadie but he didn't think he fancied Dirk. He just wanted to snog him because he had nice lips, incredible eyes, was super impressive, seemed really kind, and so hot too. Definitely not a fancy. "And well, you know, he doesn't have a lot of friends. Things didn't exactly go so well when he came to class. Plus he's coming to tutoring. So you know, probably not a great idea." Seb didn't see why they couldn't still be friends if they snogged but Dirk hadn't sounded like casual snogs were his thing anyway. So yeah, probably wouldn't happen. "You know I did wonder if you weren't talking about his brother at first, till you said Ethan's name," he added. They were the only two blokes Ian had ever had around so it seemed like it'd be one of them.

[middlefletcher]

"Oh yeah, they definitely give me the little brother treatment," Ian told Seb with a laugh. It usually annoyed him, but it was kind of nice to be able to relate with Seb about it. "Glad you think I'm a cool older brother though," he added with a smile. Compared to Cal and Mac he didn't feel like much of a big brother, but he did his best. He grinned and nodded his agreement about having their friends over to Al's. "It was fun. I think we should do it again." He hesitated, then flew a little bit closer to Seb and lowered his voice conspiratorially. "I actually didn't ask Cal before I invited Ethan. I just owled Al to ask and then told Cal that Al said it was fine." That was very much not the normal way they did things, but all that stuff Ethan said about being his friend and not caring if his mum was weird and wanting to see where he came from had made him want to do something, and circumventing Cal to invite Ethan to Al's felt like the better risk than inviting him to the house. "So we can always do that again. Or maybe Cal will be less weird about it now that he saw how much Al liked having us all over." Ian did understand why Cal was hesitant to accept more from Al. But Ethan had made really good points about Al seeming like a lot more than a business relationship. And their friends were all nice and polite at Al's. He grinned cheekily when Seb laughed at his admittedly cheeky apology. It was fun hanging out with Seb, it was just a shame between all Ian's jobs and Seb being at Hogwarts so much they didn't get to do it very often. He was a little surprised when Seb seemed almost shy at his teasing, and when he got an actual answer from Seb, and even an admission of who the bloke he wanted to snog was. Maybe he figured Ian already had an idea, but it was still nice that Seb was telling him. Ian much preferred when people told him things because they wanted to tell him. He grinned when Seb said it was Dirk; Dirk seemed like a good kid, no big concerns for Ian there even though the whole vanished for seven years thing was odd. His smile softened then Seb added why he wasn't sure it was a good idea, before he laughed in surprise at the last thing Seb said. "Leo? I guess I only hang out with like two blokes so it was gonna be him or Ethan. That'd be kind of funny if we both fancied brothers. Or maybe it'd be weird, I dunno how these things work." It was ultimately probably easier that they didn't fancy brothers. "But Dirk's a good bloke. I don't know him that well but Leo's a good bloke and he always spoke really highly of Dirk. I get what you're saying about how it might not be a good idea, especially with not having a lot of mates his age. It's good of you to think about that," he added with a soft smile, because he was proud of Seb for thinking about things like being a good friend. It wasn't something they'd had examples of growing up. "But, I mean, I really only have two friends and I kind of freaked out when Ethan said he fancied me but now I'm pretty sure he was onto something. And he was really clear about still wanting to be my friend if I didn't feel the same, which he obvioulsy meant 'cause I bungled the whole dating thing and he still came to Al's. So if you really wanted to say something I don't think it'd be the worst thing. You'd just wanna be thoughtful about it," he offered, not at all sure if it was helpful advice. But having a perspective that felt a little similar to Dirk's, he felt like he ought to share it.

[sebastianfletcher]

"Yeah, alright, but the others do it," he conceded. That didn't mean he thought Ian never talked about things he didn't want Seb to know. Ian was just sneakier. He somehow managed to be both the most straightforward of his brothers and the sneakiest. Seb smiled when Ian said that it was part of what made Al cool. Al was cool, really cool. "He's the coolest adult." Because he was. Cal was an adult but Seb had always thought of Cal separately then the adults in their life despite all the adult things he did. He tried to feel happy about Ian seeming happy he wasn't going to tell their mum. And he was, because it would have been awful if Ian had thought he ought to. It was just not a great feeling keeping things from her. Not because he thought she should know the things he did. It was because he wished she was different. Had she been Seb wouldn't have to hide Sadie's clothes or pretend to be best mates with Henry. He liked the kid but he liked him in the way that he was happy Sadie had a good mate like him. But she wasn't different and the list of things he couldn't tell her felt like it grew bigger the older he got. Seb did smile when Ian told him thanks for telling him. Before laughing at Ian's teasing. "I knew it! This little talk felt a little too on the nose for you not to." It was probably Sadie but Seb didn't ask. "But thanks for letting me know it's okay. Cause I kind of wanna do it again," he added with a bit of a shy smile and his cheeks warming up. "It's a lot more fun then snogging birds." Seb didn't know if he'd actually get to snog Dirk or not, or if he should even try given the lboke didn't have a lot of friends his own age now. But he couldn't help thinking snogging Dirk would be even more fun then snogging Benjy had.

[middlefletcher]

"If it helps, they've done it to me too," Ian offered with an apologetic smile. He found that especially annoying because it wasn't like he couldn't hear Cal and Mac anyways. Now he only interrupted if he had something to add. Which was rarely. Instead he just listened. He smiled and nodded his agreement when Seb called Al the coolest adult. "He's the coolest one I've ever met and it's not even close." It was a shame Al wasn't actually related to them. Or maybe not, since the adults who were related to them all bailed or were Patty. If anything Patty's dislike of Al was a green flag for how great he was. Ian felt a little bad telling Seb it was the right choice not to talk to Patty. Not because he thought Seb should tell anything to Patty, but because he felt bad their family wasn't normal. He knew Seb and Sadie felt that more than the rest of them, getting to go to Hogwarts and be around normal kids. At least they knew what normal was. Ian was still figuring that out half the time. But he was confident blokes dating blokes was normal, and he was glad now Seb knew that too. Ian laughed when Seb said he knew it, glad he didn't seem annoyed. "Sorry," he said, a little sheepish but not at all apologetic. He smiled wider at Seb's thanks, chuckling at the blush on his brother's cheeks. That wasn't something Ian saw very often. He wondered if Seb was thinking of a specific bloke when he said he wanted to do it again, but Ian just chuckled when Seb said it was way more fun than snogging birds. "I'll have to take your word on that one, 'cause I haven't done either. But snogging a bird sounds awful so I'm with you," he added with a laugh. "But yeah, it's very okay. Sooooo," he couldn't help teasing a little, grinning at his little brother, "Is there a specific bloke you wanna snog again? Or will any bloke do?"

[sebastianfletcher]

It made him feel better to be able to offer something really helpful to the family, like growing food. Ian didn't knock the offer or dismiss it. Instead he agreed that they'd be fine. Hopefully it would help Ian not to worry about Knockturn, and maybe he'd tell Mac and Cal too and they wouldn't worry either. Seb hoped not. He laughed lightly at Ian's reaction to his teasing. This sort of teasing was a lot more fun then what his mates did when it came to dating. His smile grew when Ian admitted it but he didn't say anything else. Seb laughed when Ian of all people called him a sneak. "Hey! What do you expect a bloke to do when you stop talking when he comes into a room?" His tone was still light and he was still smiling. He didn't think he could be blamed for being curious. Like how he was curious about what Al would think of them being into blokes. "Yeah, he's really awesome. I don't think he cares what anyone thinks." He sure did stand out too much for someone who might. Al was always talking to them about being their own selves. Except it wasn't just talk. Al was always doing stuff too, like gifting them things that showed he paid attention to what they said. Or how he'd introduced Seb to his gardener who had helped Seb start his backyard garden. Or taking Sadie shopping and her coming home with stuff she actually liked. While their mum....she seemed to think they were just gonna live out some version of her life. Especially Sadie. "Me either," Seb admitted with a sigh. He sure had tried to figure out why. "I don't think I'm gonna tell mum I like snogging blokes," he added quietly. Blokes because even though he'd only snogged one he really wanted to snog another one. One in particular especially. Even though Ian had said it was okay and not weird it still felt like something he shouldn't say to their mum. Though he did think he'd mention to Sadie that birds could date birds. He didn't know if she'd want to but with all the pressure from their mum to date a bloke, more options might be appealing to her.

[middlefletcher]

Ian was relieved when Seb didn't say anything else about Ethan. Though their conversation was making Ian feel even more like maybe he ought to go for it and see if Ethan still wanted to go on a date with him or something. A terrifying thought, so Seb's teasing about Ian's eavesdropping--and Seb's own attempts at it--were a welcome distraction. "I do not do that!" Maybe their brothers did, but Ian could always hear Seb coming and redirected the private conversations he was having with Cal and Mac before one of the youngers kids walked in. Which was not the same thing as stopping talking when Seb came into a room. He smiled when Seb agreed that Al wouldn't care about blokes dating blokes, even if he didn't already know about it. Which he probably did, Al knew a lot of stuff. "I don't think he does either. It's part of what makes him so cool." Ian wished he could be more like that, though he also thought it was maybe easier not to care what people thought when you were as rich as Al was. But he didn't feel the need to share that thought with Seb. Ian was pretty sure Al would still be Al even if he wasn't filthy rich. He gave Seb another small, sad smile when he agreed he didn't know why their mum did what she did, but it brightened a bit when he said he wasn't gonna tell her about snogging blokes. "Good. You don't have to tell her about anything you don't want to," Ian said decisively, because that was something he was sure. It wasn't like Patty cared about any of them anyways. "But thanks for telling me," he added in a gentler voice. "Even though I already knew," he couldn't help adding with a teasing grin. It felt okay to say that now that Seb seemed okay with everything. Not like Seb didn't already suspect anyways.

[sebastianfletcher]

"Oh." Seb knew Knockturn was bad. He didn't know if he had actual memories of it or just the bits and pieces he'd picked up from things said. It was hard to know if what he remembered about their flat was all the same flat or a mix of Knockturn and their other flat. But if he'd have had to guess what worried his brothers it wouldn't have been a worry about going back to Knockturn. That felt so far back that he'd never considered that being a worry. Ian's reassurance wasn't so reassuring at first. Instead it just made Seb wonder how things could go really really wrong. Though Ian thinking they wouldn't end up in Knockturn did turn things around. Seb wasn't really sure how helpful friends would be. They didn't know anyone who could put them all up and being separated felt almost as bad as it had felt going to Hogwarts alone. But there was Al. It was a surprise that Ian mentioned Al because his three brothers always seemed to act weird about Al gifting or doing things for them. Seb thought Al was awesome. Sure he was really rich and gave them amazing things but it wasn't that. Al was a normal adult. Being at his house felt less chaotic somehow. Seb had always thought it would be so cool to invite his friends over to Al's house. Not because his house was super impressive but they could just hang out, like they did at Henry's house. Bringing Dirk over there had shown him he'd been right, it was cool and felt normal. There were even times he wished Al was their parent, he'd never said that to anyone, not even Sadie. It felt mean to his mum. Even a little mean to Cal, which also felt weird. Except Cal did take on the kinds of things his mates parents did. He felt a little sad for his brothers to know they might always be scared of ending up back in Knockturn. "Al wouldn't let us," he replied. Because he knew that was true. "And you don't have to worry I know how to grow food now so we'll never be hungry," he added hoping to help Ian not be worried. It was much better to talk about Mac and dating. He laughed at Ian's teasing before teasing him back. "Is that why you don't think it's batty?" It was still weird to know his brothers were into dating, and two of them with blokes. But not a bad weird. Just surprising. "Well I've tried," Seb admitted. Not that he wanted to be nosy but sometimes he was curious. "I wasn't gonna I just didn't want to say something there and be overheard if he didn't want Al to know." Seb agreed that it would probably be easier to talk to Cal in private at Al's. "Do you think Al knows blokes can snog and date? I know he's not from Knockturn but he'd probably be okay with it, right?" Seb liked Al and next to his siblings Al was top of his list of people he didn't want to disappoint. In fact it would bother him if Al was disappointed in any of them. Though it did make him think of something he'd only sort of thought of earlier. "Mum's from Knockturn so she knows blokes can be with blokes, and birds with birds, right? How come she never said," he asked. Because she'd always talked about things like Sadie having to catch a man early or how Cal was going to end up with some floozy who just wanted his money. It was always birds trying to get pregnant by one of them or Sadie and blokes.

[middlefletcher]

Ian felt a little bad at that 'oh' from Seb, like maybe he'd just given his brother something to worry about that he didn't need to worry about. But he smiled softly when Seb agreed that Al wouldn't let them end up on Knockturn. Ian felt pretty sure about that too, even though Cal always said they couldn't depend on Al for everything. Ian agreed with that, but he also couldn't really see Al not helping them if everything fell apart. He could sort of see Cal not accepting Al's help. Or more like not wanting to, but doing it if it was the only option because he'd do what was best for the younger kids. But hopefully things would never blow up that spectacularly. Ian felt bad again when Seb said he could grow them food. He may not remember much of Knockturn but clearly he remembered not having enough to eat. But Ian smiled. "See, so we'll be fine." And hopefully they would be. "I--" Seb's teasing caught Ian a little off guard--or maybe it was the truth in it--and he let out a flustered laugh as he tried to deny it but found it impossible to form the words. "I guess it is," he admitted sheepishly, because he had no other choice. It was almost a relief when Seb started going on about Ian eavesdropping again. Ian laughed when Seb said he'd tried. "You little sneak!" He said with a roll of his eyes. He considered Seb's question about Al. "I'd be shocked if Al wasn't okay with it. He's probably the most open-minded person I've ever met." As for their mum, Ian made a face. "I'm sure she knows." There was no way she didn't, like Seb said she knew her way around Knockturn. "But I've never understood why she does anything she does," he answered with an apologetic smile. It almost certainly wasn't the answer Seb wanted, but it was the truth.

[sebastianfletcher]

"You have," Seb told him. Because he'd thought all his brothers were never scared of anything. It sounded pretty dumb to him that Cal and Mac didn't realize Ian heard them. Ian always knew everything. But it also sort of made sense. For Seb it had always been the three of them, his big brothers. But Mac and Cal were the oldest two, treating Ian like a younger brother made sense. "Are they worried about a lot of stuff," Seb asked. Maybe he ought to be worried more. He worried about plenty but not the same things. "Maybe they should talk about it so the rest of us know if there's something to be scared about." Seb didn't remember much about the sort of things his brothers had to worry about growing up. But he did remember the not having enough food. It was why he'd originally taken an interest in herbology. One of the first lectures she'd talked about learning to grow your own food. Now Seb knew how to do just that. Which felt to him like they'd be just fine. Maybe it was dating stuff they were worried about. He looked skeptical still when Ian said it might make sense if they'd experienced it. "I dunno. Still sounds like love potion talk to me," he replied. Not exactly like love potion talk because that was even battier but it was still weird. "I still don't know how you do it," he said hoping Ian would give him some pointers on listening in. "You think? Maybe I will then. Sometime when he's not so busy." Because that was the big problem with his big brothers. They were all so busy. "Do you think Al knows about this Galvin bloke? Cause maybe I can ask Cal when we're there so mum won't be around." Ian had said their mum didn't know and he didn't want to accidentally clue her in. Plus if they were at Al's chances were Cal wasn't too busy.

[middlefletcher]

"Oh," was all Ian could think to say when Seb said he as good at hiding when he was scared. Maybe it was just because Seb spent so much time at Hogwarts and Ian spent so much time at work. He frowned at Seb's question, pausing to consider for a moment. “Sort of," he answered honestly, because he could never manage to do anything else. He wanted to be honest here, though. It felt important. "I think they mostly worry about things going wrong and us ending up back on Knockturn." It was true enough he could say it, even though there were also the worries about Mac now. And the worries about the younger kids getting taken away if they pissed Patty off too badly. “But things would have to go really really wrong for that to happenn. And honestly…even if things did go really wrong, I don’t think we would end up back on Knockturn,” he added, surprising himself a little because he could never say anything he didn’t believe. So maybe he finally believed that. He was thinking about what Ethan told him when he explained, “It’s just, our lives are different now. We have friends who would help us, and Al. They wouldn’t let us end up back there. I just think it’s hard not to be scared of it happening. I’m glad you and Sadie don’t remember it as much, but it was really awful there. I think maybe we’ll always be scared of ending up back there. But I don’t think that means you should be scared of it," he said with a soft smile. Hopefully that didn't freak Seb out. But Ian was surprised to realize how true he thought all that was. There was still a lot to be worried about with Mac, but Ian had no idea what to do with that one. It was nice to know at least the Knockturn stuff was maybe less of a looming threat. Not that Ian was gonna stop working his arse off to make sure he could pull his weight if quidditch went away. He chuckled and rolled his eyes when Seb said Mac's take sounded like love potion stuff. "Maybe you'll change your mind if you meet someone you wanna date," he teased. Then he was rolling his eyes again when Seb made it sound like Ian was out there eavesdropping. "I don't do anything. I don't know how you all don't constantly hear each other." Ian knew by now that he was the weird one, but still. It wasn't like he was doing anything. He smiled when Seb said maybe he'd talk to Cal. "I dunno if Al knows. I don't think it's a secret from Al, though. But I dunno. Maybe find out before you bring it up in front of Al. Probably easier to ask him in private at Al's though," Ian added. Even if Al didn't know, Ian didn't think Al would eavesdrop if Ian and Cal went off to talk for a bit.

[sebastianfletcher]

Seb grinned when Ian asked for pointers. "Sure thing," he replied. Hopefully he figured it out. He liked knowing if a bird liked him, knowing if a bloke was into him would be really cool. "Really?" It was even more of a surprise to find out all his older brothers were afraid of things. He couldn't help wondering what things. It felt like maybe it would be things that would be extra scary to him. Seb also couldn't help wondering why they hid it. Or what Ian was going to say about them realizing. Realizing what? Seb didn't ask. It had never felt okay to be scared of stuff at school. Even really scary things like when Dirk disappeared seemed to be something you could only be scared of for a little bit before you were deemed a fraidy cat. And the fact that Cal and Mac hid when they were scared sort of didn't seem to say it was okay either. "You sure? I mean if it really is okay why don't none of you blokes every show it?" That seemed like an okay question to ask. It didn't feel great to find out mum was a big reason why they didn't date for a lot of reasons. Especially because what did they even do about that. Seb gave Ian a skeptical look. "He did? That sounds batty." He did not understand why Mac thought it was worth it. Despite not understanding Mac's point of view he listened to what Ian had to say about Cal. He'd never heard of an in-between. Only dating as in being a couple verses dating as in went on a date but not a couple. Seb thought he might actually ask Cal. He was curious how it worked. Maybe he'd find the in-between stage more appealing then dating. He didn't say anything about Ian overhearing Cal and Mac. Everyone knew Ian listened. Plus Seb tried to listen sometimes too. He could never hear anything. How Ian idd it was a mystery. "I might ask him. It sounds kind of interesting. You don't think he'll think I'm being too nosey do you?"

[middlefletcher]

Ian nodded at Seb's skepticism when he said they were all scared of things, feeling a pang of guilt. Clearly they hadn't done a good job of showing Seb it was okay to be scared. As evidenced by Seb's next question. Ian grimaced. "Yeah, that's a fair question. I dunno that I've ever been great at hiding it, to be honest." He always felt like the truth spilled out of him whether he wanted it to or not. "But Cal and Mac don't hide it because it's something bad. It's cause they don't want the rest of us to be afraid. Again, not 'cause there's anything wrong with being afraid. It's just not exactly fun and they wanna protect us from that, you know? They don't want us to worry about all the things they worry about. They just don't realize I can hear them talking about all the things they don't want us to be scared about, so it doesn't really work on me," he said, this time not cutting himself off. The truth was, Ian wasn't part of a lot of the conversations Mac and Cal had. And he wasn't part of the conversations between Seb and Sadie either. He just heard almost all of them. It was a little lonely, sometimes. Ian chuckled when Seb said Mac sounded batty. "I think it must be one of those things that doesn't make sense 'till you've experienced it." Ian didn't think Mac was batty, even if he didn't fully understand how he felt it was worth it despite how it had all ended. "It must be really nice, if Mac says it was worth all that," he added. That was how Ian had taken it, anyways. "I'm probably not the bloke to ask about nosy," Ian pointed out wryly when Seb mentioned asking Cal about dating. Personally he didn't think he was nosy, he thought everyone just talked too loud. But he knew what his siblings thought. "But I really don't think he'll think that. If he doesn't wanna talk about it he can always just say so, but he's never minded talking about stuff when I've asked him." Ian tried not to bother Cal because he was so busy keeping their entire family out of Knockturn, but when he did want to talk to Cal about something Cal was always great about it.

[sebastianfletcher]

"That's a good point," Seb replied. Maybe he'd be able to tell now. It was cool to know he knew the bloke Ian fancied. Not well, but he'd met him. Dirk knew him, he could ask about him. Seb wasn't sure if he'd do that or not, it wasn't like with Sadie. Then again, it would be cool to know Dirk's opinion of the bloke. "Are you?" Seb was surprised once again to find out that Ian was scared of a lot of things. "I always thought you, Mac, and Cal were not afraid of anything. You three never seemed to be. Kind of makes me feel better to know you are," he added with a smile. Seb gave a slight grimace when Ian mentioned ending up like their mum. "That's why I thought we didn't date," he confessed softly. It felt wrong talking about their mum like this. But it was something he'd thought about. Not that it was what stopped him from dating. It just probably would have if he'd wanted to date. Seb had never had any inclination that way. The closest he'd gotten was to liking the way Ian said dating was like after finding out he could date a bloke. Though he wasn't sure how much that was appealing or just new. "Didn't seem to work out so well for Mac either," he couldn't help adding. Maybe dating wasn't something they did. "Is that why Cal is only snogging that Galvin bloke and not dating him?"

[middlefletcher]

"If you do figure out how to tell with blokes, maybe give me some pointers, yeah?" Ian asked with a playful grin, glad at that at least something he'd said tonight made sense. He felt like it was a lot of him not having good answers. It was a surprise to hear that Seb thought he, Mac and Cal weren't afraid of things. "Yeah, of course I am." Ian gave Seb a small smile in return when he said it felt better to know they weren't. "We're all scared of stuff, Seb," he said gently. "I think Cal and Mac just try to hide it from the rest of us. I don't think they always realize...." Ian trailed off. He'd overheard whispered conversations between Cal and Mac that he knew he wasn't supposed to hear, things they tried to shield the rest of the younger kids from, Ian included. At some point they'd mostly caught on and if they had a conversation at home Ian kind of figured they were okay with him hearing it. But sometimes he still wondered, especially because he still wasn't invited into those conversations. But that wasn't something he wanted to bother Seb with, especially because he didn't want Seb worrying even more about what he overheard. It wasn't like he was trying to be nosy. He just didn't get how he was the only one who ever seemed to hear things. "The point is, we're all scared of things. It's okay to be scared of stuff." Gryffindor seemed very into bravery; maybe that was something Ian should have said to Seb before now. Maybe he should have said a little more about Patricia too, because it seemed like Seb had the same idea about why they didn't date. Which, it was a relief to know he felt the same about their mum's dating habits. "That's a big part of it," he acknowledged quietly, grimacing when Seb pointed out it hadn't ended well for Mac. "Yeah....Mac said it's worth it, though," he offered, figuring Mac wouldn't mind if he shared that bit of advice with Seb. Ian couldn't help thinking that if Mac still felt like it was worth it even with how things had ended, that had to mean something. As for Seb's question about Cal, Ian considered for a moment before he answered. "I dunno. I think it's part of it. I think it's also just that he doesn't wanna rush into something while he and that Galvin bloke are still getting to know each other. I think it's sort of an in-between of snogging and dating. Taking it slow, I guess? I dunno how it all works but what they're doing seems closer to dating than to just snogging. You could also ask Cal about it, if you wanted," he added. "Not that I mind telling you what I know. Cal just could probably give you a better answer than me. We only talked about it a little bit. Mostly I just heard what he told Mac."

[sebastianfletcher]

It seemed like he'd said something wrong but Seb wasn't sure what. Ian definitely had a look that said he had though. "Always seemed important," Seb answered, still unsure what he'd said wrong. "Thanks, Ian." He appreciated the offer. Seb sort of knew he could. But he also kind of felt guilty that he got to go to Hogwarts and Ian hadn't. Most of the stuff he had to talk about was Hogwarts stuff. It felt kind of mean to talk about it with Ian. But now there was this whole snogging blokes and the dating stuff. That wasn't Hogwarts related. Ian seemed to know a lot about it too. So it was a surprise to hear Ian didn't think he did. "I dunno. That's what my mates always say. I've always found it easy to tell," he replied, not bragging just a statement. "Birds anyway. Not so sure about blokes. Sure didn't know one of 'em wanted to snog me." Seb almost didn't say that but despite Ian not bringing up about the snog it seemed like he knew about it. Either Sadie had said something or he'd over heard them arguing about if he fancied Dirk or not. It was interesting to find out how Ian figured out he liked the bloke he liked. "We're talking about Ethan," he asked surprised. Seb hadn't realized he'd met the bloke. "Sorry, I didn't realize. He's a nice bloke." It had been pretty cool that Ethan knew Dirk. "I always thought you weren't afraid of nothing. Is it scary cause of the messing up a friendship thing?" Seb wondered if he'd missed any clues that Ian had a thing for Ethan. He had talked about how Ethan could fix anything and was always trying to find something he couldn't. But that had just seemed like fun. If there had been something Seb hadn't seen it.

[middlefletcher]

Funnily enough, when Seb said he'd always found it easy to tell if someone like him, Ian realized that maybe that usually was the hard part. He definitely wouldn't have been able to tell Ethan liked him if Ethan hadn't come right out and said it--he hadn't even realized it when Ethan was trying to hint at it. He chuckled when Seb said he wasn't sure about blokes. "Maybe you couldn't tell with blokes because you weren't expecting it. I think I get what your friends mean though, I wouldn't have had any idea Ethan liked me if he hadn't said so." Ian hadn't realized he'd said Ethan's name until Seb asked. "Oh, uh," Ian let out a flustered chuckle. He hadn't meant to say it was Ethan he fancied. "Yeah, it's Ethan." He smiled, still feeling very flustered, when Seb said he was a nice bloke. "He is a nice bloke," Ian agreed. Which was what mattered, like he'd said to Seb. Ian was not at all expecting what Seb said next. Afraid of nothing? Was that really what Seb thought of him? "Uh..." he let out another flustered chuckle. "You really think I'm not afraid of anything? I'm scared of a lot of things," he said. "But--I dunno. I'm definitely afraid of messing up the friendship. I mean, I don't really have a lot of friends to begin with." Not like Seb and Sadie. "But I think its more just..." Ian hesitated. He knew Seb didn't like when they said stuff about their mum. "I don't wanna screw up and end up like Patty," he finally said, because as always, the less truthful words he'd have rather gone with didn't come out.

[sebastianfletcher]

Seb shrugged his shoulders slightly at what Ian said. "I've never really thought of anyone as good or bad. I mean obviously some people are jerks or losers and there's a few birds who I'd never take anything to eat or drink from. But beyond that I don't really give much thought to it." Maybe he should. Seb never really had to give muhc thought to if people were good or bad. Before school it was mostly just his siblings, mum, and Al he was around. At school aside from a few blatant bullies, he just assumed everyone was more or less okay. And as far as getting to know people, he'd been at school with everyone for nearly seven years, that felt like enough knowing them. Dirk was the first person he'd met that he had no idea about aside from a few things Ian had said. Which was probably why he was so interested in getting to know him. "Yeah, I'm not looking forward to her dating," he told Ian because he thought that's what his apology was about. "Normally I don't," he told Ian, after all he hadn't thought any of his brothers were snogging and he had done a lot of that. "But with dating there seemed like there was maybe a good reason." Which was their mum but he felt bad saying it. "I know but..." Seb hesitated a moment. "It's just our family isn't exactly normal and I dunno what [Seb's roomie's name] told the guys after he and his dad met mum but I didn't want there to be anything else weird about me. I know Al's always going on about individualism, which is cool, but that's not really how you get friends at Hogwarts. Not that I thought you'd blab to my friends but I dunno if I didn't talk about it, it was just a one off thing and didn't have to be another weird thing." He knew it was lame to care what people thought but he also liked having friends and not being a weird bloke nobody liked. It was much better to find out about Ian's situation. "Birds do," he answered casually, happy to know Ian hadn't done that. It was weird to hear one of his big brothers talk about being worried about making something weird and weirder. Stuff he worried about. He could also relate to not wanting to mess up with someone he liked hanging out with. Of course that had been about snogging and he still had no idea if Dirk was into snogging blokes, or even knew that was a thing. But still relatable in a way he wasn't expecting. "Yeah, that's a lot." Seb had no advice to give him because he had no clue either. Though there was something he had gotten wrong. "But even though you've never dated I wouldn't say you don't know how. I mean you just told me what you thought dating was like and it was a lot more appealing then any of the dating I've seen. Maybe you should tell him that's what you want to do and see if he likes it too. You've already got the hard part over anyway. You know he likes you." That always seemed to be the hangup for his mates.

[middlefletcher]

Ian's brows furrowed a little and he tilted his head to the side when Seb said he didn't think about if people were good and bad. Maybe that was a perk of having gone to Hogwarts; even if some of the people were annoying or mean, most of them were probably mostly decent. Not like Knockturn. And that was good, really. "I guess knowing who the jerks and the people not to take food or drinks from works," he said, because he wasn't really sure what else to make of that, but it sort of seemed like even if Seb wasn't thinking about it that hard he did have some sense of who was okay to hang around and who wasn't. Ian frowned a little when Seb said he wasn't looking forward to Sadie dating. That wasn't what he'd meant, though now that Seb mentioned it, Ian wasn't really either. He just worried sometimes that she might decide to take Patty's horrible advice. He nodded his understanding when Seb said it seemed like there was a good reason they didn't date; there sure was a good reason they'd stayed away from that. His frown deepened when Seb said he didn't wanna talk about dating and snogging with them in case it was weird. Ian knew all about the worries of coming across weird to Hogwarts people, though he hadn't had to go off and live in a dorm with a bunch of them. Though he couldn't help thinking he'd be less weird if he had done that. Seb sure seemed to have figured out how to be normal. But it wasn't exactly a surprise to hear that was something he worried about. Especially with Patty making everything so much harder. "I get it," he said with a soft sigh. "But you can talk to me about stuff if you want to," he felt compelled to add. "And it can always stay between us." Not that Ian really thought Seb would wanna tell him stuff he didn't want to tell Mac or Cal, but still. Their family was big and weird and maybe it would help Seb to know he could talk to Ian about stuff. Not that Ian was much use. He didn't even know what to do about his own crush. He pulled a face when Seb said birds told blokes not to hang out with their mates. That was weird. Maybe if the mates were jerks but then that seemed like a bigger problem. It was a surprise when Seb said he maybe did know something about dating, and when he said maybe Ian should go for it. "Is that the hard part?" Ian asked with a soft chuckle after Seb finished. "I didn't even realized I liked him until he said he liked me and I asked him how he knew," he explained, grimacing because the more he thought about that conversation the more he felt like a huge idiot for not getting what Ethan was hinting at until he'd had to spell it out for him. "But...maybe you're right. I mean, Ethan's the one who told me that's what dating could be like in the first place, so he'd probably like that too. It's just....scary," he admitted.

[sebastianfletcher]

Seb hadn't believed Ian was pulling his wand but it was nice to have conformation that it wasn't happening. And a relief to know it wasn't weird to like snogging blokes. He grimaced a little at the mention of how their mum dated, which was exactly why Seb had always stayed away from dating and discouraged Sadie from it too. Despite everything it was a surprise to find out she was dating wrong. He wondered if she knew. He listened to what Ian said he thought dating was. It sounded a lot better then what he'd seen their mum do and a lot of what he saw at school. That usually involved a lot of nagging, annoying, fighting, and his mates not able to hang out because of their girlfriends. Instead they always had to hang out with their girlfriend's friends. Or trying to get set everyone up with one of their girlfriend's friends so they could all hang out. It hadn't seemed much fun outside of snogging, which he could easily do without all that other junk. But Ian's way sounded fun. Even if it was surprising to find out Cal was snogging that Galvin bloke. He frowned a little when Ian said he messed things up with the bloke he liked. "Maybe I'll just stick to snogging right now," he concluded after Ian finished. "They don't have to be a good person to snog them and that seems a lot easier then trying to figure out if they are or not." Because really how did you figure that out. He knew Dirk was but that seemed like an easy one. He had no idea if Benjy was a good person or not, he didn't want to date him but he had snogged him just fine without knowing. He'd thought his mates were but they'd been pretty weird with Dirk. Seb wasn't sure if that and a couple of other things they'd done disqualified them or not. Not that he wanted to date any of them either. "I guess I better let Sadie in on the fact that dating is okay. I always thought it wasn't something we did, cause none of you did," he told Ian. Sure their mum did but Seb looked to his brothers as role models and tried to get Sadie too as well. He knew it was a little harder for her cause they were all boys and she wasn't. And truthfully he didn't love the idea of her dating because some of the blokes he'd heard her talking about with her girlfriends were real losers. But there was someone whose dating life he was curious about, well two osmeone's but Cal wasn't up here to ask. "How'd you mess up with this bloke you like? Did you tell him he couldn't hang out with his mates?"

[middlefletcher]

Ian's brows furrowed. He wasn't sure how great it was that Seb was happy to snog not good people, but at least he knew not to do more than that with them. So who was Ian to judge if Seb liked snogging? Ian just knew he wouldn't want to snog someone he didn't also like as a person. "If that's what you want," he said. "I don't think I'd really enjoy snogging someone I didn't think was a good person, but that's just me," he said, no judgment in his voice. "And I don't think it's terribly hard to tell if someone is a good person or not once you get to know them. But you do have to get to know them first." Which was maybe not what Seb was interested in right now, and that was fine, even if it wasn't at all what Ian would want to do. "Sorry," he said when Seb said he needed to let Sadie in on the fact that dating was an option. "I thought it wasn't something we did either. But at least we're starting to figure it out," he offered with a small smile. "And you shouldn't feel like you can't do something just 'cause the rest of us don't. You can always talk to us about stuff," he felt compelled to add. Ian hoped Seb hadn't been not doing things he wanted just because the older blokes weren't. Their lives weren't exactly the same. Seb had a lot more opportunities to do normal things than Ian or Mac ever did, and Ian hoped he took them. He was surprised when Seb asked about Ethan. "Oh, uh..." He brought a hand to the back of his neck, feeling awkward now, though he frowned at Seb's additional question. "What? No, why would I do that?" That was just weird. "No, it's just....he told me he liked me, and I told him I needed some time to figure out my feelings because I hadn't thought dating was something I could ever really do. And he was really nice about it, but--I dunno, I feel like I made things weird. I told him a lot of stuff about Patty too. And I really like hanging out with him so I'm worried bringing it up again might make things weirder. What if I'm too late and he's realized he's actually not interested? Plus I wouldn't even know how to date someone, so what if I screw it up and then we're not even friends anymore?" It all felt like a lot. But Ian also really liked Ethan and Ethan had said he fancied Ian....but what if he was already too late?

[sebastianfletcher]

"Oh." Seb didn't bother to say his mates weren't arseholes. They weren't! But they could be kind of rude sometimes. Still maybe they didn't know. "Woah, really," he asked when Ian said two birds could do all that stuff too. Crazy. Even crazier was that Cal was sort of seeing a bloke. He didn't know much about Galvin but aside from being a quidditch player he didn't seem as cool as Cal. Seb bristled at being told not to tell anybody, like he was a gossip or something. "I won't." Though he did wonder what their mum might say. She had never mentioned guys as an option for anyone besides her and Sadie. And it wasn't just Cal. "Really? So you think it's cool to date?" Not just cool to date a bloke but date in general because that never seemed to be something any of his brothers did. "What's Cal doing with that bloke? Just like snogging him?" This was a lot of new information. "So it's not weird to like snogging blokes? And do we know the bloke you wanna date? Are you gonna ask him out? What do you even do on a date with a bloke?" Seb still wasn't sure he wanted to date but dating a bloke sounded a lot more interesting then dating a bird. "You're not pulling my wand here are you?" Ian didn't do that sort of thing but maybe Sadie had told him about the snog with Benjy. Plus it just seemed weird that there was this whole thing, two whole things if you counted the birds with birds, that he'd never heard of and two, or maybe even all, of his brothers were into it.

[middlefletcher]

Maybe Ian had said a little too much there. Seb was clearly processing a lot, and Ian was already losing track of all his questions. Though he frowned at the last thing Seb asked. "No, I'm not pulling your wand. I wouldn't do that." Ian figured--hoped--Seb knew that and was just processing a lot of surprising new information right now. Which Ian felt bad about. He should have said something sooner, but he hadn't realized he needed to say something at all. And it wasn't like he'd even thought dating was a good idea until very recently. He still wasn't sure it was a good idea, but Mac and Cal both seemed to think it was worth it, and holding Ethan's hand had been really nice... Ian shook off that thought; this was thankfully not about his own love life. "It's not weird to like snogging blokes," he said, remembering what Seb had said about that. "Sorry I never told you I like blokes. I just never realized Hogwarts people were weird about it. And I never really thought about it. To be honest, I didn't even realize I wanted to date this bloke until, like, a week ago. I always thought dating was...." Ian hesitated. He knew Seb didn't like to badmouth their mum. But surely had had to know the blokes she dated were awful. "I thought the only way to do it was how Patty does it. But it turns out she's the one doing it weird and wrong. I'm still not really sure exactly what you do when you date a bloke--or anyone," Ian added, because his own hesitations hadn't been related to the fact he knew he preferred blokes to birds. "But I think it's just sort of hanging out with them, like you would a mate, only you also do things like hold hands and cuddle and yeah, there's snogging too. I think that's what Cal's doing with his bloke. And there's a lot of talking. If you're gonna date someone you've gotta like talking to them. About fun stuff but also about big stuff." At least that was the impression Ian had gotten from hearing Cal and Galvin, and Mac and Dawn the few times she'd been around. "So...yeah. I think its cool to date, if you want to," he added, because Seb had asked. And Ian was still worried about the whole thing, but it didn't feel like something he should tell Seb not to do. Not with Cal doing it and Mac encouraging him to do the same with Ethan. Who Seb had asked about, only Ian wasn't sure what to say. "I dunno if I'm gonna ask out the bloke I like. I think I kind of messed things up. But--the point is, its okay if you like someone, a bloke or a bird, and you wanna date them. You just wanna make sure its a good person first. That's what really matters, not whether its a bird or a bloke or whoever."

[sebastianfletcher]

Seb felt really proud as Ian talked about his garden and how good he was at it. It always felt nice when his cool older brothers thought something he did was cool. If only they could have kept it at that and flying around for fun. Seb hoped they didn't circle back to his slip up but knowing Ian it would probably happen. That was soon forgotten in favor of what Ian was saying. "Wait what? Gay means you're lame." Because that's the only way he'd ever heard it said. "And what do you mean you'd date a bloke?" He knew Henry had two dads but he hadn't given much thought to how that worked or wanted to ask because it wasn't his business. Henry had said that everyone in their neighborhood thought his dads were just two single dads living together, roommates. And he'd never seen them act like they were dating so he just always thought maybe Henry's dads were roommates that just shared kids and that was the part that they kept quiet for some reason. Maybe muggles didn't do that. Or maybe it was because what they were doing was weird. They were a thing, he just wasn't sure what sort of thing. A snogging thing maybe, like Benjy. "So you don't think it's weird to snog a bloke? And you even want to date one," he asked. "Can you do that?" Did Henry's dads date? Huh... He wondered if Benjy knew blokes could date. Not that he wanted to date Benjy he just wasn't sure if this was Knockturn stuff or stuff everyone knew. Everyone but him maybe. "Is this a Knockturn thing?"

[middlefletcher]

"What? Gay does not mean lame. That's just something arseholes say." Had Seb been calling people gay as an insult? Ian felt a pang of guilt. He should have said something sooner, but he hadn't realized this was something that was so different at Hogwarts. Had people ever called Ethan gay as an insult? Ian had already been touched he'd opened up to him about being into blokes--being into him--but hearing how little Seb knew, and how the word was used as an insult, had him realizing just how difficult that must have been for Ethan. Ian hated that Ethan had to deal with that, and he hated just as much that Seb apparently was dealing with that too. But he could at least make sure Seb knew he wouldn't get any of that from his family. "No, it's not a Knockturn thing," he said firmly when Seb was done. "Blokes can date, and snog. Basically two blokes can do anything blokes and birds usually do. So can two birds, for that matter," he added, just so Seb wouldn't end up with any other weird gaps. "As a matter of fact, Cal is sort of seeing a bloke. You know his mate, Galvin? I don't think they're officially boyfriends or anything, 'cause I do think he'd tell us if he had a boyfriend, but they're seeing each other. It's a secret from the press so don't go telling nobody outside the family--or Patty" because Patty couldn't be trusted, "But its not a secret from the family. Cal just doesn't talk about that stuff." Ian felt bad for how much of Cal's and Mac's conversation he'd overheard, but Cal had pulled him aside after and let him know he wanted Ian to know too, and that it wasn't a secret he'd been keeping. So he felt like Cal wouldn't mind him telling Seb, especially with how Seb seemed to have been worried about the older blokes finding out he'd snogged a bloke. "And I--....yeah. There's a bloke I think I wanna date too," he admitted in a softer voice, letting himself say it out loud for the first time, because Seb had asked and Ian wanted him to know it was okay, that he wasn't alone if he also wanted to date a bloke. And....maybe if it was okay for Seb and Cal to want to date a bloke, Ian could accept that he wanted to date a very specific bloke too. If he hadn't blown it already.

[sebastianfletcher]

Seb beamed with pride when Ian complimented his garden. "Thanks. It's mostly winter plants but we learned this spell in Herbology that keeps plants healthy even in winter, almost as good as a greenhouse, so we'll have plenty of vegetables all winter long." It'd be cool to have a greenhouse but Seb was just happy he could help with the grocery bill. Even though he told their mum that most of the garden was Sadie's, he was really proud of it. It was just their mum had weird ideas about gardens. She clearly hadn't ever listened to Tilden Toots, despite Seb trying to catch his show whenever he could. "Awesome!" Seb enjoyed flying around with Ian, occasionally trying to do what he did to see if it made him go faster. Ian was just a really good flyer. Though the fun was over when Ian said he needed to talk to him. "It wasn't my fault," he said a split second before Ian said it wasn't bad. Oh... "Reflex." Seb laughed sheepishly, relieved that Ian didn't seem to know he and Sadie had snuck into his room while he was at work. They'd seen their mum coming out and were trying to see if she'd messed anything up or borrowed money from him. Seb wasn't sure it really counted as borrowed since he and Sadie tried to replace it from their allowance any time they found out about it before Ian did. Instead of that Ian was talking about dating and stuff, what stuff? Blokes being together? Did he mean snogging? Did Ian know he'd snogged Benjy? He was going to strangle Sadie. "Gay? No you're not. I don't think you're lame. And what do you mean you like blokes? Have you snogged blokes before?" Seb was confused.

[middlefletcher]

Ian grinned back at Ian, happy to see the proud smile on his brother's face. It was cool to get to see him do something in his element like that, when usually Ian just had to hear about how well Seb was doing at Hogwarts. And he was clearly passionate about it, too. "No way?" Ian asked about the vegetables. "Sounds brilliant! And I bet your fresh veggies will taste better than the ones the shops have during the winter too. It's really cool how good you are at that stuff," Ian added, because Seb ought to know. Ian got the impression that Seb was a cool bloke at school because of quidditch, but there were other cool things in Ian's opinion. Flying with his brother was also a lot of fun though. Ian enjoyed keeping up with the other, sometimes even speeding past him and trying new maneuvers. It felt like the wind was always right at his back, pushing him along. But Ian wasn't out here just to fly around. He wanted to make sure Seb knew none of his older brothers would care if he liked blokes. "Right, we're gonna circle back to that," he said with a laugh when Seb blurted out that something wasn't his fault, out of reflex apparently. He'd definitely gotten up to something, probably with Sadie, but Ian wasn't too concerned and didn't want to get derailed, so he pushed forward. And it was a good thing he did, because apparently Seb had a lot of confusion about the blokes stuff. Ian frowned. "Who said I was lame?" That was confusing, but Ian continued, "I haven't snogged anyone." Which maybe was lame, but that wasn't the point. "But I know if I was gonna snog someone, or date someone, it'd be a bloke. Because I'm gay. That means I like blokes like that and not birds. Some blokes can also be bisexual, which means they like both blokes and birds," Ian added, because he wasn't sure which Bash was and based on him not knowing what gay meant Ian figured he should know there were multiple options.

[sebastianfletcher]

It was a bummer to find out that Ian would be heading off to work again tonight. Plus sometimes how busy he was made Seb feel like he was slacking. But he grinned when Ian said he wanted to hang out. Seb always liked hanging out with his big brothers. They were cool. All of them, even though Cal was probably the only one cool by Hogwarts standards. That didn't matter to Seb, he thought all of them were. "Yeah that sounds cool," he agreed to hanging out. "I was just admiring the view." Their backyard wasn't like Al's that felt like it went on forever, outside of town where the houses were so far apart that Seb wasn't even sure Al had neighbors. But even though their view included a lot of houses he still liked it. He could still remember how excited he'd been when they'd moved in and had a backyard. They hadn't gotten to play outside much at their flat. Even though it wasn't in Knockturn, a place Seb mostly knew about from stories then his own memories, Mac and Ian had always been weird about them being outside. Worried people were going to ask questions, Seb was glad they didn't have nosy neighbors anymore. "You wanna fly," he asked. Ian was a really good flyer. Not so much when there were a lot of them up here but when it was just one on one.

[middlefletcher]

Ian smiled when Seb mentioned the view. It was one of Ian's favorite things about their new house, not having neighbors so close. He could still hear the neighbors sometimes, but it wasn't as loud or as constant as at their old flat. And the view was nice too, even where it turned from their yard to other houses, all spaced apart with tidy backyards. "Your garden's coming along nice," he commented, nodding down toward Seb's patch of flowers and vegetables. Ian thought it was cool how good Seb was at all that stuff, and how much nicer the yard looked with all of Seb's things growing in it. He grinned when Seb asked about flying. "Yeah, let's do it," he agreed. Ian followed Seb's lead, just enjoying flying around the yard with his brother for a bit before falling into an easier pace next to the other. "Hey, so....there's something I sort of wanted to talk to you about," he began. There was probably a much smoother way to get into things, but Ian had never been skilled at that sort of thing. "Nothing bad," he was quick to add, because in their family you could never be too sure. "It's just...." Ian really should have thought about his approach before he dove into this conversation, but it was too late now. "I know we don't really talk about dating and stuff, probably because other than Mac none of us have really dated. But one of my mates told me recently that people at Hogwarts are apparently weird about blokes being together, which I never realized. You probably don't remember this, but back in Knockturn there was all sorts of people with all sorts of other people and no one really cared. I think maybe that's one of the few things Knockturn actually got right. But--anyways, the point is, I just wanted to let you know that I actually like blokes. I'm gay. It was never a secret, it just never really felt relevant. But I didn't know people at Hogwarts were all weird about it, so I just thought I should let you know that it's not weird and I like blokes. And that dating and stuff is something we can talk about. We don't have to, but we can." Maybe not the most subtle job, but hopefully it wouldn't make Seb feel pressured to share anything he didn't want to. Ian just wanted him to know he wasn't weird, and he wasn't alone.

[sebastianfletcher]

Sometimes Seb liked to just fly, no quiddich just up in the air. He could fly around or like now he could just sit and hover high above everything. Out flying anything was probably impossible but not much mattered when he was so high. Or at least he could pretend it didn't. There was a lot down on the ground that did matter that he had to think about when he was down there. Normal things like whatever new distraction his mum would be and also big things like what he was going to do after he graduated. The problem with having lots of options was having ot pick one of them while feeling completely buried under the weight of all those options. Up in the air he was weightless. He could think about things like how nice his garden looked from this viewpoint, the shapes in the clouds, and how cool it would be to fly on a carpet. Seb wondered if that would feel even more weightless. It was a pleasant surprise when he saw Ian flying up. He smiled and waved back. "Sure thing, there's plenty of sky," he replied. It was something Al said a lot, 'There's plenty of sky.' Seb had always liked it. "You done working today," Seb asked when Ian got closer. His brother Ian was one busy bloke. He figured it was because Ian hated being home. They could admittedly be loud so he couldn't blame Ian. Though Seb did try not to be. He was a little forgetful about it when he first got home from school but by the end of the second week he'd gotten back in the habit of not being so loud. Their mum, though, was always loud. He knew she didn't do it on purpose but Seb did feel bad every time she slammed a cabinet, yelled across the room, or had her music cranked all the way up.

[middlefletcher]

Ian's grin widened when Seb waved back and repeated one of Al's favorite sayings. It wasn't one Ian always agreed with, if only because oftentimes the sky felt loud and crowded with people and quaffles and bludgers. But when all that was put away, in the rare times it was just Ian, or Ian and one of his siblings, on their brooms, the sky did feel boundless in a way that made Ian feel almost like he was waking up from a haze of noise. Things felt clearer, sharper--better. Ian felt better. And then he'd land, and forget how good being in a clear, quiet sky felt until the next time he had the chance to experience it again. But he wasn't thinking about how he had to land, even when Seb asked about work. Instead he was just thinking he was glad for the chance to be up here, especially with Seb. A quiet sky was a good place for a talk, Ian felt like. "Nah," he answered Seb's question with a rueful shake of his head. "Got a shift at the hospital tonight. But it's not for a few hours. Thought we could hang out for a bit.” They didn’t have nearly enough time to do it often, but Ian had always liked flying with Seb when he wasn’t practicing for quidditch, even when he didn’t have something specific he wanted to talk about. But talking about things did feel easier in a peaceful sky.

[middlefletcher]

Ian was certain his siblings didn't want to know how much he actually overheard. He was sure they wondered sometimes; he'd heard them speculate to each other, in conversations they didn't realize he was privy too, and it always came with a pang of guilt. Sometimes it felt like a barrier between him and his siblings. He knew too much, and they knew it, but they didn't know how much. And Ian, on the other hand, knew exactly how much they didn't want to share with him. Which was fine. Really. Of course Cal had stuff he wanted to talk to Mac and not Ian about. And of course Seb and Sadie had their secrets. And of course each of them separately had things they tried to keep just to themselves. Ian had his own things too. It was just strangely isolating to know all of those things. And Ian never quite knew when to use his knowledge. He'd always wonder if he should have said something about Mac. Maybe it was that fresh knowledge of exactly how bad of a mess Mac was in that had Ian deciding he should say something when he heard Bash and Sadie talking about Bash's worries about the rest of the family knowing he fancied blokes. Specifically Leo's brother, it seemed like, but Ian wasn't really worried about that bit. Dirk and Leo were good people. Ian just didn't like the idea that Bash thought he couldn't tell his older brothers about liking blokes, especially when two of those older brothers also liked blokes. It just wasn't something Fletchers talked about. But Ian remembered how worried Ethan had been when he came out to Ian, how he said it wasn't something talked about at Hogwarts, and when he overheard Bash talking to Sadie, he realized that must be what Bash was going off of too. Ian was hardly in a position to offer romantic advice given how badly he'd bungled things when Ethan said he fancied him, but he could at least put his younger brother at ease about liking blokes. He hoped, anyways.

So he waited for his opportunity, and it came a couple days after Bash, Sadie, and Dirk came back from that Hogwarts class. Ian was home for the afternoon before a late shift at the hospital, Bash was out flying in the backyard on his own while Sadie practiced her skateboarding out in the front yard with Mac as an audience, and Cal entertained Ruby inside. Ian went out to the shed and grabbed his broom, the beautiful one Al made for him that he felt guilty about not using nearly enough. Then he hopped on, kicking off the ground easily and enjoying the rush as the air swirled around him, lifting him up impossibly easily like he belonged in the sky. Ian had always attributed that to the broom. He'd always enjoyed flying. It was just quidditch that had too much else going on, which meant when everyone else in the family was messing around flying in the yard, Ian was usually on the ground with a headache. But this afternoon it was just Bash in the sky, and as Ian got further off the ground, the sounds of everything else going on below faded to a soft buzzing that Ian could tune out easily enough. He grinned when he spotted his younger brother in the sky and waved, calling out, "Mind if I join you?"