“aww, look at you. can’t even hold a single thought can you? so pretty when you’re like this.”
you’d been trying so hard to stay present. answering my questions. keeping up with me. doing so well for a while. and then somewhere along the way something just…shifted. the answers got slower. the sentences shorter. until eventually there was nothing left. just you looking up at me with those glazed pretty eyes and your mouth slightly open and not a single word behind it.
pressing my fingers to your lips. watching you take them without thinking. no hesitation. your mouth opening and accepting them naturally. sucking soft and slow and steady while i watch what’s left of you settle.
“can you tell me my name?”
watching you try. genuinely try. brow furrowing. tongue still moving around my fingers. searching for something that was right there an hour ago and isn’t anymore. a small frustrated sound building in your throat when it doesn’t come.
“hey.” so soft. stroking your cheek with my free hand. “it’s okay. you don’t need to find it. i’ve got you. you don’t have to think anymore.”
watching that frustration dissolve. watching your whole body exhale something it had been holding without knowing it. eyes going even more glassy. shoulders dropping. surrendering to it.
starting to move against you slowly. feeling you respond immediately. hips tilting up without any instruction. body so far ahead of your brain right now. knowing exactly what it needs even when you don’t have the words for it anymore.
“look at how well you’re taking it. you’re doing so perfectly.”
a moan around my fingers. low and helpless and so unguarded. hips starting to roll. chasing the feeling without even realizing you’re doing it.
“that’s it. don’t think. don’t try. you don’t have to do anything except feel good and stay right here with me. that’s your only job right now. can you do that?”
a small nod. barely. eyes half closed. not sure you even fully understood the question but trusting me anyway. following anyway.
going deeper. watching your eyes flutter. watching tears start to slide down without any warning. not from pain. not from anything bad. just from how much it all is. how overwhelming. how good. how safe it feels to be this far gone with someone who has you completely.
“i know. i know baby. you’re okay. i’ve got you. you’re so good. so so good.”
you making a broken sound around my fingers. hips moving more desperately now. chasing it. needing it. not even aware of how beautiful you look right now. L
“that’s it. you’re doing so well. i’m so proud of you.”
feeling you clench around me. feeling how close you are. keeping the same pace. making you feel every single second of it.
“stay with me. right here. eyes on me.”
your eyes finding mine. barely focusing. so glassy. so soft. so completely empty of everything except feeling.
“good girl. there you are. i’ve got you.”
finishing with my fingers on your tongue and your whole body shaking. a sound you couldn’t have held back if you tried. hips stuttering. fingers gripping my arm. riding it out without any grace or composure left.
staying right there through every second of it. not moving. not pulling away. letting you have all of it.
after. when the shaking slows. when your grip loosens. when your breathing starts to find its way back.
pulling my fingers away slowly. watching you chase them slightly before catching yourself. pressing a soft kiss to your lips instead.
nothing back. just a small sound. eyes still glassy. still not quite here.
“that’s okay. you don’t have to be back yet.”
pulling you close. your face finding my neck immediately. hands gripping my shirt loosely.
wrapping both arms around you. holding you warm and steady while you come back slowly.
pressing kisses to your hair. your forehead. both of your cheeks.
“such a good bunny. so perfect. i’m so proud of you. you did so well for me.”
you making the softest sound against my neck. pressing closer.
not back yet. not needing to be.
keeping you warm. keeping you close. keeping you safe and completely taken care of.
