hi i’m a brown woman, not quite light, but my mama is super lightbrite and a former beauty queen, so i know a thing or two about outgrowing some fucked up ideas around colorism
1. If you hear anyone popping off about dark skin, ask them questions. Why did you say that? What do you mean? Is there something wrong with that (having a darker complexion)? You can play dumb or make it clear they been seent, but the point is to make them a) question their stupid bias and b) let them know that shit isn’t cool
2. Compliment, praise, and uplift BW with dark skin. Don’t overdo it, that can make people self conscious, but make it clear you think they’re beautiful and valued and deserving of happiness. A simple compliment works better with acquaintances or women you don’t know; you can pour it on thicker for friends and family members. I had a childhood friend who was dark skinned. I didn’t know everything then that I know now about colorism, but I knew I admired her features, her style and her effervescent personality. I praised her to the high heavens and so did her mother (also a dark skinned woman). Reblog dark women on your dash and include tags about how they’re killing it! Spread the word and the world will change. Not overnight, but it will change.
3. Write emails/letters/social media posts to the people who create media featuring characters with dark skin and let them know if they’re a) fucking up, b) doing a good job or c) not including dark skin characters at all a la grownish, and therefore are fucking up. Advocate for better representation.
4. If you are a content creator (writer, youtuber, artist, etc), create characters with dark skin, esp. women, and make them as characters, not as points towards some kind of diversity quota. Craft them carefully so as to avoid stereotypes about dark skin. And if you really want to go the extra mile by creating media that’s not just good but great, engage with those stereotypes in the text: deconstruct them, address them, create a conversation around them. And sometimes you don’t even have to make a statement to make a statement. So often being a BW in general can feel like being a living, breathing blind spot. We don’t see ourselves depicted enough. So sometimes the best thing can be to include a lot of well written dark skinned characters and not make too big a deal about it. Because they exist, they are valid and they deserve to see themselves, to not be some deviation from the default.
5. This goes back to number 1, but I really can’t stress this enough: CHECK OTHER PEOPLE WHEN THEY SAY SOME SHIT. If they start fawning over your light skin and putting down bw with dark skin, ask them why it matters so much to them, ask them what makes you superior to her, etc. Or if you’re past the point of asking, put your foot down and tell them point blank you’re not about to be their lightbrite trophy so they can nurse their prejudice.
6. Recognize that bias also extends to hair (curl patterns), fashion (what’s sexy on you will be considered hood/ghetto/skanky on her), emotions (if you get an attitude it’s being feisty, if she does or even just tries to speak up for herself, she’ll be labeled a bitter black bitch), etc, etc. Peep game. Always, forever, no exception.
7. I shouldn’t even have to say this, but avoid common pitfalls like telling them to stay out of the sun, to put on a lot of sunscreen, to stay in the shade. Or some shit like to stay in the light, not the shadows, because they won’t be seen in the dark. You get the idea. All of these are real things I’ve heard. I’m not even all that dark myself, but one of my derogatory nicknames growing up was la cucaracha (the cockroach). As bad as it was for me (and they were relentless), once I was older and learned, I realized that what I went through, a girl much darker than me has gone through tenfold. Be mindful, be kind, be AWARE.
8. Most important of all, examine any of your own biases. If you’re worried about sounding fake, examine why. Ask yourself questions. Do like in AA, “a searching and fearless moral inventory”. No one comes into this world free of bias, so don’t be afraid to look at yourself.
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