Our Last Dance

25+ • irl yandere • side blog, I'll follow back from main in secret to keep up with my followers • obsession and devotion are both painful and divine

[midnightslastwaltz]

♪༘⋆｡𖹭 I go on walkin' after midnight, out in the moonlight... 𖹭｡⋆༘♪

[ Waltz • Late 20's • Intersex/FTM • He/Him ]

Personal Tags:

Healing/Therapy =

#searching for me ˎˊ˗

Love & Friendship Journey =

#searching for you ˎˊ˗

Vent =

#a weeping willow crying on his pillow ˎˊ˗

[ I'll edit my pinned more later ]

[midnightslastwaltz]

irl yan, obsessive love

Sneaking into a darlings house and leaving a handkerchief doused with your perfume/cologne. Now you'll know me by my scent before all else.

[midnightslastwaltz]

irl yan, obsessive love

Stop saying things like that. I'm going to fall in love with you and then it won't be a 'you' problem anymore. I'll hold this burden of love for the rest of my life, do you not understand this? What do I need to do to get you to see that my mind is a vulerable place that just can't get rid of you? Please, I'm begging you to be kind to my heart, please, please, **please**.

[midnightslastwaltz]

CW irl yan, fictional stalking

My "stalker" gave up on me?

No, no that wouldn't be a stalker then. A true stalker believes in acts of devotion and if you give up that easily, then you did it for ego, not admiration. If you never hear from the person you stalk for a lifetime, you still stay. Like a loyal dog you sit yourself at their feet and bask in the glimses you're granted.

[midnightslastwaltz]

CW: irl yan, obsessive love

They may have had you first, but I will always have you last. The last love you will ever need.

[midnightslastwaltz]

"Nonchalant" is the stupidest shit ever. More mutual obsession and devotion! If you pretend not to care deeply about me, I'll match your energy by leaving your ass in the dirt where you belong.

[midnightslastwaltz]

My body feels like it's rotting when I don't have a darling. A body that was made to love feels it has no purpose when there's nothing to direct it to. The love seeps into every crevice, and eats away at what it can to try and escape, all with no place for it to go after it's finished with me. Just like saccharine, the pool of what's left is far too much to be as sweet as it should be. It's bitter, and fills the air with a metallic scent. How could something meant to be so beautiful, become so vile, when left to its own devices?

[frankencain]

chocolate cosmos (cosmos atrosanguineus) look like blood and smell like chocolate, and i love them very much

[midnightslastwaltz]

The sound of your voice makes my stomach turn. I wish your voice would die out completely. Think of all that air we could be saving from that inflated head of yours. Gods, what a waste.

[flesh2flower-deactivated2026052]

if i could, i’d rewire your brain so all you could think about is me. so all you could focus on is me. i want to eat you alive the same way you do me. this silence of yours isn’t enough. i want more.

[slipng]

lily of the valley ࣪˖ ִ𓇢𓆸 ; a symbol of purity in heart and soul.

[midnightslastwaltz]

So many people use the term "stalking" too lightly to ever be taken seriously.

No, you aren't a "stalker" for liking someones posts for a few days than ghosting afterwards. That's an irritatingly average thing to do. Dull doesn't begin to describe it. "Obsession"? Laughable.

Obsession isn't for the weak or easily distracted, so kick rocks if you're not committed to what you claim.

[midnightslastwaltz]

They hate the way you shine when you tow the line between what's palatable and what's divine. If obsession and devotion is what you crave then, sweet boy, you're already mine.

[midnightslastwaltz]

I should have known I was a yandere the moment (my now ex) sent me a link to his ubers location home one day as he got off work. I was so aroused that any time I moved I couldn't help but press my thighs together, or buck my hips. I never touched myself, because knowing that I got the privilege of watching him get home safely was more than enough pleasure. It was addicting to see exactly where he was and have his full attention as he messaged me along the way. He was all mine in that moment. Nothing else existed outside of us. Fleating moments of jealousy for the driver chatting him up came and left, because focusing on his attention and impending safety was most important. As he made it inside, I slowly came down from a high that had me hooked.

We fortunately parted ways, because he was abusive, but that moment still holds something special to me. One day I'll find a partner that's worth worshipping and that burns brighter knowing they're my darling. For now, I'm just glad to get to know more about my wants and desires, so I can thrive more moving forward. 💙

[midnightslastwaltz]

Thinking about them makes me feel sick. One day I have to see them and not feel this hatred. I have to see them without shaking or struggling to just remember how to breathe. I have to look them in the eyes without crying. I need to face them and let the ones I once called "darling" go.

I want them to see that my smile is no longer for them and for that to be their ruin. For my healing heart to be something they envy and mourn, for they will never be the cause of my unbound joy again. To leave the hatred with them and let them sink into every bit of abuse they caused. For reflection to truly take over their life for once and show them just how much they've fucked up. I want the people within their path to not have to experience the pain they put us through.

I hope they heal and that I never have to hear a word about it.

[midnightslastwaltz]

I don't think they ever loved me. Have I been loved before? I must have at some point. How can someone be full of so much love and never have experienced it? Maybe the movies and books from childhood gave me enough of a preview to hold yearning for it.

All the people I ever loved now live in my nightmares. The people I once ran to, I now run from when I shut my eyes. When I had to leave them for my safety, I was told I never cared.

I helped them financially, physically, mentally, spiritually. I poured every bit I could while still providing for myself. I wanted to see them happy and safe. I yearned to see these people walk down the aisle to claim me. I wanted more than anything to belong. I wanted to be each others family. To watch us all grow old together and find solace in our healthy dynamics.

They didn't want that. They wanted a scapegoat for their own faults. They want a bad guy that I refuse to be. A cult follower to use and throw away when bored.

My heart is the only thing that's truly mine and I refuse to let it be crushed into ruin for a mistake of putting trust in those who shouldn't have it in the first place.

My love is strong because my heart wants to heal and thrive. I still have love to give and I want to do it right. Therapy is helping and even though the dreams still my peace, even then they still have a purpose. Our brain is processing the worst of things and allowing us to heal.

Sweet dreams will return, I just know it.