Lookin' for a hard fella to sleuth your problem? @midnightsleuth-blog - Tumblr Blog

yeah you got me

might not be bugs

I got some shell cream, if you want it. Makes it not itch so much.

i know how to stop itching

... And how’s that?

ever get the urge to scratch off your own carapace

Are you shedding?

no

just itchy

You sure? That’s always how it starts.

you think you know my own body better than me

that’s pretty presumptuous of you

I mean, I figure you gotta shed at some point, or your carapace would be in pretty bad shape.

What’s makin’ you itchy, then?

you dont know how my carapace works

maybe it just doesnt grow

and how should i know maybe its bugs

If it didn’t grow you’d still have every scratch or chip you’ve ever gotten ‘cause it’d never heal an’ get replaced. You’re scuffed up but you ain’t that scuffed up, far as I can tell!

And gross.

yeah you got me

might not be bugs

I got some shell cream, if you want it. Makes it not itch so much.

ever get the urge to scratch off your own carapace

Are you shedding?

no

just itchy

You sure? That’s always how it starts.

you think you know my own body better than me

that’s pretty presumptuous of you

I mean, I figure you gotta shed at some point, or your carapace would be in pretty bad shape.

What’s makin’ you itchy, then?

you dont know how my carapace works

maybe it just doesnt grow

and how should i know maybe its bugs

If it didn’t grow you’d still have every scratch or chip you’ve ever gotten ‘cause it’d never heal an’ get replaced. You’re scuffed up but you ain’t that scuffed up, far as I can tell!

And gross.

ever get the urge to scratch off your own carapace

Are you shedding?

no

just itchy

You sure? That’s always how it starts.

you think you know my own body better than me

that’s pretty presumptuous of you

I mean, I figure you gotta shed at some point, or your carapace would be in pretty bad shape.

What’s makin’ you itchy, then?

ever get the urge to scratch off your own carapace

Are you shedding?

no

just itchy

You sure? That’s always how it starts.

ever get the urge to scratch off your own carapace

Are you shedding?

hydethejekyll

...hm. what would happen if i drank another vampires blood?

Speakin’ from experience, if it’s a different, y’know, strain of vampire, the two strains mix.

It looked extremely painful.

… I’m still gettin’ earl grey and frosted cakes, right?

Oh, yes. I thought it’d be nice to have a pleasant little snack.

Oh, good. Uh, congrats on the new CEO job?

Thank you. It will be fun, won’t it? And by the way, would you like a job?

… I appreciate the offer, but I dunno what use a candy company has for a private detective.

Drat. I was hoping to hire someone to be a fun candy store bouncer.

That… sounds kinda entertaining, but I don’t really fit in well in that universe. Droog’s is the only place I ever go, y’know?

Oh. You mean because you’re carapacian?

Yeah. I look pretty weird to most people in that universe.

Hm. I would describe you as cute.

‘cause I am cute! Just mostly only to other carapacians. And people with good taste.

… I’m still gettin’ earl grey and frosted cakes, right?

Oh, yes. I thought it’d be nice to have a pleasant little snack.

Oh, good. Uh, congrats on the new CEO job?

Thank you. It will be fun, won’t it? And by the way, would you like a job?

… I appreciate the offer, but I dunno what use a candy company has for a private detective.

Drat. I was hoping to hire someone to be a fun candy store bouncer.

That… sounds kinda entertaining, but I don’t really fit in well in that universe. Droog’s is the only place I ever go, y’know?

Oh. You mean because you’re carapacian?

Yeah. I look pretty weird to most people in that universe.

… I’m still gettin’ earl grey and frosted cakes, right?

Oh, yes. I thought it’d be nice to have a pleasant little snack.

Oh, good. Uh, congrats on the new CEO job?

Thank you. It will be fun, won’t it? And by the way, would you like a job?

… I appreciate the offer, but I dunno what use a candy company has for a private detective.

Drat. I was hoping to hire someone to be a fun candy store bouncer.

That... sounds kinda entertaining, but I don’t really fit in well in that universe. Droog’s is the only place I ever go, y’know?

… I’m still gettin’ earl grey and frosted cakes, right?

Oh, yes. I thought it’d be nice to have a pleasant little snack.

Oh, good. Uh, congrats on the new CEO job?

Thank you. It will be fun, won’t it? And by the way, would you like a job?

... I appreciate the offer, but I dunno what use a candy company has for a private detective.

… I’m still gettin’ earl grey and frosted cakes, right?

Oh, yes. I thought it’d be nice to have a pleasant little snack.

Oh, good. Uh, congrats on the new CEO job?

#ic #That ain't off the table?

... I’m still gettin’ earl grey and frosted cakes, right?

@midnightsleuth Good evening, Sleuth. I wanted to invite you over for some earl grey and frosted cakes.

Oh, uh, sure! Sounds nice.

Droog’s mansion, right?

Beautiful. I’ll put the kettle on. Oh, and you can help me with protest slogans!

Protest slogans?

Yes, to establish fair treatment for minimum wage employees.

I mean– sure, I guess? I’m down for that. Fuck capitalism.

Yes. Fuck capitalism.

Right, be there soon.

Droog’s, uh, not gonna be mad, is he?

Well, I wouldn’t want to offend Stray by not being here, and Droog didn’t seem keen on discussing matters with me…It’s really nothing personal! Just something to do.

Well, if you say so! I guess if he asks I can say it was your idea.