PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
sheepfilms

@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin

oozey mess

Janaina Medeiros

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AnasAbdin
wallacepolsom

PR's Tumblrdome
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Today's Document
Mike Driver
DEAR READER
Xuebing Du
dirt enthusiast
NASA
YOU ARE THE REASON
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
No title available
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@mikespectross
Holy cow, it has been forever since I’ve logged onto here. I’ve missed you tumblr and the endless hours I would spend just scrolling through my dash
“PARENTS EXCUSE MY POTTY MOUTH"
Future son fr.
I’m dying last night we had a house party and at one point I remembered I have a lit paper due this week and decided to get started on it, this morning I woke up to this
Holy hell this is brilliant.
“To conclude
Yes”
person: hey Tony can you spell your name backwards
Tony: sure... y not
I literally am drooling bcus of all my laughing
Big ass baby
My stomach hurts.
Person: sorry dude, we don’t have time for the park today
Dog: ohoofdfijdlgjkfsdfdofdogohgooofooooooooooooooooooooh
me when i don’t get my way
No fucks were given that day.
The words ‘resign’ and ’re-sign’ have exactly opposite meanings
Birthday money is basically your paycheck for not dying every year.
i was telling my sister the thing about how cats that don’t grow up around humans only meow when they’re kittens, but housecats retain the habit of meowing to communicate with humans bc we don’t get the other signals that cats use to communicate, and she was like “so basically cats are always speaking baby language with us. they’re like, let me put this very simply so you’ll understand. basically they’re incredibly condescending”
I read an article where some expert said that they view us as very large, very stupid kittens.
How my cat feels about snow
the littlest nope ever
Lupita Nyong’o has worn every color ever invented.
Ima refer to this every time someone tells me I can’t wear certain colours because of my skin.
Goddamn
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”
Pro tip: Don’t do this if you recently applied for a new job.
bolded. just in case.
i feel like that pro tip is told from experience
cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat
this cat lives in a show horse barn which is why it walks and runs that way
THIS CAT THINKS ITS A HORSE