Dr. Clops

Need someone to talk to? Need a therapist for your depleting sanity? Need to just get away from it all? Dr. Clops is the giant for you! He’ll answer all your questions and help you feel better! And if he doesn’t like your attitude then–-Gulp! [[ Crack Deerclops blog featuring Willow. Small text is Willow's dialogue and standard text is Dr. Clops ]]

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

*hands over gold nuggets* "D-do you have a-any suggestions to s-someone with chronic nightmares?"

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

"Help me Dr. Clops. People Can't stop making Jaws jokes about me"

If you can’t break the stereotype...

BECOME THE STEREOTYPE.

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

((IDK, I just got bored and drew Dr. Clops with a purse. Enjoy.))

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

Goomy

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

*Insert funny post about Dr. Clops returning from summer vacation just in time for winter and finally releasing poor Willow from the itchy deerclops costume here*

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

Willow, have you even had any appointments with any patients?

No. And I plan to keep it that way. The doctor should be back any day now, then I can get out of this infernal costume!

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

Oh, sorry doc! *Aids the doctor in entering an upright position.*

…Thanks.

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

What're you doing lying down on the job, Dr. Clops? You trying to breakdance?

May the fleas of a thousand beefalo infest your armpits. 

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

Doc, I keep seeing shadows everywhere. Tips?

Ignore the stupid shadows! Help me up! There are more important matters at hand here!

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

so willow i mean dr clops im tryna become a giant myself how do u do it its so difficult smh

Why would you want to be one of these disgusting things? They’re big, they’re smelly, they look funny, and they’re super hangry 95% of the time! 

(Oh for the love of–I can’t stand up in this infernal costume!)

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

Doc, I don't know why, but I see monstrous shadows roaming around. And one is currently trying to grab Bernie.

Personally, I think Bernie will be alright. 

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

So Willow, how's the whole being a deerclops thing going?

Terribly. The fur itches, I’m dying of heat, I gotta pee, and I can’t even reach the zipper. I swear that stupid giant is gonna get it when I get out of here. 

[s1eepingp0wder-archived13112018]

Current mood:

Mildly concerned Deerclops

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

Wait, so if Willow's filling in for Dr. Clops, then who's the replacement secretary?

Bernie, naturally! He’s the only one around here who I can trust to do my job right.

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

So, I’ve finally reached 100 morsel-- I mean patients, and so I’ve decided to do a giveaway to me! All so I can get away for the summer! I’ve got my hat on and my shirt on and it’s time to party! Here are some things I need from you guys so I can have the most pleasant of experiences:

10,000 gold nuggets. Well I gotta pay for the vacation, right?

A bikini for my wife and speedo starfish for myself! Gotta show off our glorious beach bods.

10,000 more gold nuggets! For stuff.

Aloe Vera for any unwanted sunburns.

Beach toys for the kiddos. Moslings get very needy.

Swimming goggle. For deep sea diving.

And that’s all! Now, while I’m away for a week, my receptionist, Willow will answer all your questions! So keep her busy! As an added bonus, Willow, would you come here for a second please?

Oh WIllow! You look so beautiful!

     "I hate my job... And for the record, “ridiculous” is the word you’re looking for, not beautiful."

Oh! And I’ll need an extra 10,000 gold nuggets. For more stuff. You know. You never know.

Thank you!

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

[[ Yo, psa, we are a crack blog, meaning we can't really answer your real life problems. We aren't certified for that, so please don't come to us looking for a legit answer. It's hard for us to really answer actual personal problems you have. We don't want to upset anyone with sensitive subject material. Even if you're in character, it still applies. Thanks for understanding.

                                                                                                     --Mun Dixie ]]

[mildly-concerned-deerclops]

She drops five gold nuggets from her bag before looking up at the Deerclops in suspicion. "If smallbirds can imprint on people, is it possible that baby Moose Gooses can imprint on people too? I'm just askin' for future reference here..." She crossed her arms over her chest , looking up at the Deerclops with squinted eyes. [[ also hiiloveyourblog ]]

MAI BABIES.

((No one has yet succeeded doing such a thing, since Ms. Goose would never allow it. So… no one really knows.))