Where's the queer Baiting? They've said multiple times that romantic SQ is not something they're playing on. What is so bad about promoting a strong, supportive relationship between two women outside of romantic terms?
It would legit take a million years to explain the ins and outs of how OUAT queerbaits but Iâll do my best to be specific to Emma/Reginaâs relationship because I feel like this is a very important question to answer for multi-shippers and other oncers who genuinely donât see how swan queen could be read as a romantic pairing. I hope this helps you see it :)
Thereâs a difference between coding BFFs and coding queer romantic potentialThere are subtle but very telling differences between how romantic love interests are âcodedâ on television versus best friends. (By âcodedâ I essentially mean written and then presented in the show.) The easiest way for me to explain this is with a direct comparison.. So iâm going to compare Emma/Regina with Meredith/Cristina on Greyâs Anatomy because M&C are the perfect example of a âstrong, supportive relationship between two women outside of romantic termsâ on TV and notably they donât have a massive following of people shipping them romantically online.Â
First key difference is their introduction in the pilot. The main characterâs endgame love interest, in 99.9% of TV shows, is always introduced in the pilot. In the remaining 0.1% he/she will be introduced in the first season - usually the first few episodes. This accounts for literally every show I can currently think of - if you think of an exception let me know! In the Greyâs Anatomy pilot, literally the first scene, Meredith wakes up with Derek in her lounge having just met and had a one-night stand before she rushes off to work. She meets Cristina a little later in the ep and they bond, partly over discussing Meredithâs sexual escapades, and some conflict is thrown into the mix (they become competitors). So here you have Meredithâs love interest set up as Derek and Cristina set up as her foil and soon-to-be BFF. Both are coded straight. With OUAT, itâs a little different. Main character Emma meets Regina in one of first scenes of the pilot and then meets Mary Margaret (who becomes her BFF in season one). Now there are a few comments to be made here⊠1. She also met Sheriff Graham in the pilot who was supposed to become her endgame love interest, not Regina. This is certainly one possible interpretation - interestingly he was introduced in the same scene as Regina. However he was killed part-way through season one so itâs clear he was never endgame and his relationship with Emma actually revolved around Regina - it gave them another point of conflict and kept them circling each other, remember that punch-up they had over him? haha. 2. The first person Emma actually meets is Henry. Very true and important - this is a family show and I think this points to Henry being coded as Emmaâs truest love, he is her endgame, they were always going to be together in the end. However this obviously isnât a romantic pairing so a question mark is still left over who that might be⊠and the person with whom Emma has the most important meeting, and with whom a deep, intriguing dynamic is set up in the pilot is Regina. It is therefore a pretty sane interpretation of that first episode to think Regina and Emma would be endgame or at least have some kind of romantic arc. 3. A pilot doesnât have to foreshadow an endgame romance - also very true! I delve into this more deeply  in a sec but I think it would be strange for a show about fairytales not to foreshadow an endgame romance for its main character. On itâs own, this episode is not queerbaiting at all, itâs simply inviting a queer reading⊠the show queerbaits when it later denies this queer reading while subtextually promoting one.Â
Hook isnât introduced until season two and doesnât become Emmaâs love interest until season three. Bae isnât introduced until season two and he never quite becomes her love interest although thereâs a lot of love clearly between them. Robin Hoodâs introduction is even more abrupt and well into season three. From a queer perspective this literally feels like a bait and switch - Emma and Regina are only really interested in each other (as rivals and as parents of Henry), they are foils, they are opposites in many ways but have a bond because they understand one another, they believe in each other, etc, etc., they are coded as potential love interests (as Iâll describe in my next point) when suddenly the writers/producers bring in male love interests and weâre told theyâre endgame. I say âtoldâ because what happens is that E&R enter these new relationships reluctantly. David and MM tell Emma to date Bae and she sort of does. They also tell her to date Hook, as does Henry. Regina is told by Tinkerbell and then MM that she should be with Robin Hood, in fact sheâs told he is her happy ending and that not being with him would be cruel (I mean, can we take a second to let that sink in jfc). Meanwhile, we are shown that Regina consistently hates anyone who shows romantic interest in Emma, Regina also choses Emma over Robin Hood when given the choice by Rumple in season three. Emma similarly shoots this look when faced with canon outlaw queen for the first timeâŠ
⊠and she obviously sacrificed herself to save Regina at the end of season four.Â
So queerbaiting is when show creators set up a character (in this case two) as queer or possibly queer but then retroactively insist they are straight.
Can you see how this what has happened? Basically if E&R were always going to end up with Hook/Hood then why werenât those relationships alluded to in the pilot? Why werenât they endgame from the beginning? Why were E&R set up as this amazing female power foil with no other romantic leads and then just when they were beginning to get really close, are suddenly given romantic male leads?
It feels as though this âfamily showâ, which was always about Emma, Henry, Regina and the charmings coming together and becoming
family,
which is what both Emma and Regina have said their happy ending is (R: âmy happy ending is feeling at home in the world.â E: âWhen Henry brought me to Storeybrooke I didnât see what he was really doing, he was bringing me home.â)⊠hit a bump in the road when all of a sudden they realised people were reading E&R as queer. Had they not foreseen that people would do this?
Had they believed they could write a show with a main character who didnât have a romantic interest at all?
Were they simply annoyed people figured out their endgame and wanted to bury the lead? Who knows. Bottom line is that in season three they shacked E&R both up with dudes - a total bait and switch for queer-reading viewers who thought they were watching an epic slow-burn love story unfold between two unlikely women who started off as rivals for Henryâs affection.Â
Second key difference: BFF banter versus queer flirtation
This is a huge one. Best friends often banter and this banter is often sexualised or crude but it never sways into romantic flirtation unless the writers want those characters to take things to the next level. M&C call each other âhotâ all the time, theyâre incredibly close, sleep in the same bed frequently, in one dream sequence theyâre an elderly couple living and making dinner together.Â
Itâs pretty adorable and hilarious but itâs not coded as queer because we get that these ladies are straight. Not only are their actual love interests introduced super early on but their relationship is also explained in-canon by them a lot. They are straight, yo. Shonda wants her audience to be super clear about that.Â
Have we ever had anything like this happen on OUAT? No. E&R have never openly discussed what/who they are to once another⊠Itâs purposely ambiguous. In season one Emma says, âI think that this, whatever it is between us, needs to endâ. In season four, Elsa tells Emma she should never stop trying with people who are important to her and Emma immediately follows Regina to her vault and says theyâre âunique, maybe even specialâ, Regina asks âyou thought we were friends?â and Emma responds âI thought that maybe it was possibleâ⊠This is super ambiguous dialogue that leaves a lot of space for queer interpretation.Â
M&C are incredibly close and love each other HELLA but they are not sexually attracted to each other. We know this subtextually even without being told by dialogue in the show because their intentions with one another are super clear: they are best friends. E&R arenât. Their history together isnât friendly. They donât gossip about boys or laugh about work together, their scenes are intense even when theyâre meant to be light (the âdrinking buddiesâ scene, etc.) and when Emma comes to Reginaâs vault and tells her she wants to be friends it takes Regina by surprise.Â
Now you can bet your ass that if Cristina was threatened by a blob of darkness headed for her soul, Meredith would 100% sacrifice herself and vice versa but the difference between that and E&Râs plight in S4 is that M&C openly have a âblood brothersâ, âtwisted sistersâ sibling-strong BFF bond. We know they âgetâ each each other and would die for each other - so does Derek, Burke and Owen (their main love interests) who often go to one to talk about the other. But with E&R, that BFF bond isnât established. They are incredibly supportive of one another, believing in one another, saving each other, trying to give one another happy endings all the time, helping each other with magic (the S1 diamond, the S3 eclipse, âwith you regina I always know when youâre lyingâ, the chernabog, operation mongoose, etc.) but itâs always a shock to the other characters (some more than others) and it always seems like a shock even to them (Reginaâs face whenever Emma sacrifices herself  and vice versa). Now, sure they could just be coding E&R as incredibly selfless individuals who would sacrifice themselves for anyone, not as queer individuals sacrificing themselves to save someone they feel true unacknowledged love for. But to this I would posit - why isnât it clearer? If the writers truly didnât want to code Regina as queer for Emma, then why did they have her choose Emma over Robin when faced with the option? Why even give her that option? If the writers didnât want to code Emma as queer for Regina then why did they have her obsess over Reginaâs happy ending and no-one elseâs? Why have her be so concerned with Reginaâs safety at all times? Itâs not like theyâre best friends. And at the end of the day, thatâs what makes it feel jarring, like somethingâs amiss.Â
On OUAT we have the opposite of BFF coding - itâs queer. E&Râs dialogue is filled with euphemisms, heavy eye contact and intensity. They invade each otherâs personal space and interact more than any other characters (except perhaps Snowing and E/Henry or E/Regina).Â
This is one example of a euphemism - yâall know what âforbidden fruitâ is⊠Itâs a very commonly used euphemism in fact itâs almost comical because itâs so overtly sexual (I remember laughing when I first saw this scene and I was not a SQ shipper back then at all). Now, E&R grow closer and like M&C, they share a lot of powerful moments that yes as you say look like a strong supportive friendship and they do a lot of the same stuff BFFs M&C do like âhelping each other overcome problems with their boyfriendsâ, âtalking about boy troublesâ, sharing their crappy childhoods and inner mindset, bitching about work, etc. However, they are coded very differently and it leads to serious queerbaiting in OUAT. Â
Emma spends season 4 trying to help Regina get her happy ending, which we are supposed to believe means helping her find a way to be with Robin Hood. (Helping each other overcome boyfriend problems.) But then we are told by Regina that her âhappy ending isnât a manâ, we are shown that Emma is able to save Regina (from the darkness) when Robin canât, we are shown that while Emma spent a full season trying to make Regina happy, Robin impregnated his fake wife in NYC and made no attempt to even shoot Regina a text. (lmao) So although some people might read them as acting like BFFs looking out for one another, you can see that the subtext also invites a queer reading.Â
Talking about boy troubles generally comes in the form of Regina mocking Emma and Hook for âmaking eyesâ at each other - which Emma fervently denies. Sharing their crappy childhoods, happens more like quiet revelations that bring them closer together but they arenât phrased as BFFs bonding⊠Eg. âYouâre momâs a piece of work, you know?â *quiet moment of mutual understanding followed by zero friendly chit-chat*, Emma reveals pieces of info about her history with Lily then Regina responds with âI get it girl now come with me because I need youâ then they go on a road trip where Reginaâs âact of loveâ (according to Lparillz) stops Emma from killing Lily⊠Now revealing moments like these help forge their bond and understanding of one another but do they make them friends? Perhaps some people might argue that they do help build a friendship between E&R, but the difference is that they are not BFFs when they reveal those things. So the coding is different and a queer reading is certainly invited. In Greyâs Anatomy, for example, Cristina never tells Meredith about how she pumped her dadâs chest as he was dying in a car wreck and thatâs what made her want to become a surgeon - she tells Owen, her main love interest, in a poignant moment that brings them together by adding to Owenâs desire to get to know Cristina and her desire to feel closer to him. The revelation isnât a sign that Owenâs becoming her new BFF. Similar things happen with Meredith and Derek and THIS is how E&Râs bonding is coded. Â
I really could go on and on and might do a few posts on this with lots of gifs but I wanted to post an answer ASAP before the premiere to hopefully help you understand and maybe pick up on some of the inevitable queerbaiting we will get this season. I welcome more questions because I honestly hope we can get to a point where all oncers are critical of OUAT for its queerbaiting behaviourâŠÂ
To clarify, I am all for amazing platonic female friendships and I donât have a femslash ship on every show I watch so itâs not like I was seeking this whole SQ thing out on my own lmao I just picked up on the subtext and fell down the rabbit hole so to speak⊠But my (and SWENâs) problem is, if they donât want swan queen to be canon they shouldnât code the characters in the way they do, they shouldnât lead on queer viewers by including lines like âbut what if I need youâ and âif I see anything I donât like I will come in blazingâ without any friendship development. BFFs become BFFs by bonding over funny, silly things and supporting each other through hard times - see: Emma/Snow, Snow/Regina, Snow/Ruby - not by sniping at each otherâs love lives, staring deeply into each otherâs eyes and saving each otherâs lives.Â
god bless everything about this
using the mer/cristina friendship for comparison creates so much clarity thank you!
