A Real Talk About Life in Middle Adulthood: "The Sandwich Generation "
What does life really look like when you’re in your 40s and 50s, juggling peak career, family responsibilities, and your own well-being?
We're moving on to the second to the last stage, which is the Stage 7: Middle Adulthood, an era that's often less about finding yourself and more about managing everything you've built. This is famously known as the "sandwich generation," a time when many are caught between the needs of their children and the needs of their aging parents, all while navigating the busiest part of their careers.
To understand this stage better, I sat down and talked with a man who is right in the thick of it.
Biological: Managing the Engine Light 🚴🏼♂️
This is the stage in life where your body starts sending... reminders. The energy that seemed endless in your 20s and 30s now has limits. Aches and pains might be more common, and "maintenance" becomes a non-negotiable part of your routine. It's not about being an athlete anymore; it's about managing your physical and mental health so you can keep showing up for everyone who depends on you.
When I asked my interviewee about his health habits, he said he keeps active with biking. He called it "freeing" and a great "dopamine boost." It's clear this is his primary mental and physical escape. He mentioned he used to be into weightlifting but simply has no time for it anymore, a story I’m sure many can relate to. He keeps to a "normal diet" and doesn't bother with taking vitamins daily.
As for changes he's noticed, they were very clear. He works a graveyard shift, which has completely wrecked his energy levels during the day. He’s also noticed he’s gotten thinner and feels "slowly becoming weak" compared to how he felt in past years.
Cognitive: A Shift in Priorities 💼
Mentally, this stage is less about how you think and more about what you think about. Your perspective shifts. With decades of experience, your priorities often move from short-term ambition to long-term security, legacy, and what really matters. You take stock of your accomplishments, but you also feel the full weight of your challenges.
For him, his greatest accomplishment is being able to support his family with his current job. He’s helped his sister through college and provides financial support for his parents.
The challenge, however, is the direct tradeoff for that success. He said he has no time for himself and doesn't know how to balance his work life and personal life because he is just so busy at work. He feels he has to work this hard for the money.
His entire perspective on life has changed. He's working incredibly hard now so he can one day have a life that is "peaceful" after retirement. He reflected on his past, saying he "used to have a lot of friends" and went out more. But now, he's aiming for that future peace.
He added a couple of quotes that really stuck with me:
"All of the people who are in this age need to grow up."
"Younger age... is just more on enjoying."
He explained that doing fun things takes money, so for him, this stage is about one thing being responsible and making that money.
Sociocultural: The Center of the Sandwich 🥪
This is where the "sandwich generation" label really comes to life. Socially and culturally, this stage is defined by responsibility. You are often the person everyone turns to. You're balancing your role at work with your role at home, which may include caring for aging parents, supporting siblings, or helping your own children (or even nieces and nephews) get their start.
His family story was one of healing and heavy responsibility. He said he is now close with his family, and that "80% of his childhood is healed" because they are all adults now and everyone is nice to each other.
But this healing has come with a heavy burden. He shared that he doesn't have his own family (meaning a partner or children). His responsibility right now is to care for his parents, his younger siblings, and his nieces. He put it bluntly: he is their "cash cow."
So, how does he balance all of this? The truth is, it sounds like he's just surviving. To "keep himself sane" and find balance, he uses social media to distract himself for a while. He was clearly saying "just that, no other things." Staying on social media is what keeps him sane.
His main strategy is just getting good sleep. His logic was sharp and simple, he cannot function well at his job without sleep, and he cannot have a personal life without a job.
When I asked how he contributes to his community, his answer was personal and creative. He's an artist, specifically, a makeup artist. He said that whenever his friends or family ask for help, he's able to use his skills to help them. That's his way of giving back.
My final thoughts about this interview
This conversation was a powerful look at the reality of middle adulthood. It's a stage of immense sacrifice. It's about trading your social time for work, managing declining energy, and shouldering the financial and emotional weight of your entire family.
But it's also a time of quiet strength, of finding peace in a bike ride, healing old childhood wounds, and doing the hard work today to build a more peaceful tomorrow. A huge thank you to him for his honesty.
_______________________________________________
Formal Consent and Ethical Conduct Statement
This interview was conducted with the full and informed consent of the participant. The process adhered to all relevant ethical guidelines and was carried out in a respectful and professional manner.
The participant was fully apprised of the interview's purpose, scope, and the intended use of the resulting content. Their decision to participate was entirely voluntary. All efforts were made to uphold the principle of beneficence, ensuring the participant's well-being and privacy were prioritized throughout the entire process.
