❤️MILF MAGNET❤️

Cait 22

[were--ralph]

[orcboxer]

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

[kittybroker]

Hey im gana leave my dog here can you keep her safe?🐕

yes yes of course i will keep your dog safe

[kittybroker]

Fresh off the market this ->🐕 little dog now only $4.99! Get in quick!

[ms-demeanor]

this made me laugh so hard that it triggered an asthma attack.

[vonkarmic]

i think taylor swift wishes she was bisexual because she knows it would make her slightly more money. whereas sabrina carpenter wishes she was bisexual so she could have sex with someone who looks exactly like herself. and ariana grande wishes she was bisexual because she did too many designer drugs on the set of wicked and now she has kin memories of being glinda for real

[sacred-portal]

[crabussy]

[dogpuppy]

[perfectday1972]

"came back wrong" but it's from work

[squidsmeister]

something vindictive but ultimately harmless I do at work is that if you’re at my register and you’re rude to me and you pay with cash I am finding the most disgusting desolate fucked up unspeakable coin I can to give to you. oh you were mean to me? you’re getting the yucky nickel bitch

[depsidase]

[chekhovs-slinky]

“We didn’t have all this autism when I was a kid”

Yea, you had changelings and demonic possession and “brats” and “back talk”, and kids that were “not all there”, your aunt who’s “crazy”, and your second cousin no one ever talks about cuz he’s “special”, and if you’re fucking lucky, your elder uncle who lives a nice quiet life with his 70 lego sets and writes grocery stores about changing the light bulbs cuz they’re too harsh.

[fridakahloblvd]

not to put this user on blast, but ohmygod this may be the funniest thing i’ve ever seen 😭😭

[tiktaalic]

Arugula is some crap they found on the ground for real

[creepymutelilbugger]

thats because its plance. there are others as well

[ekingston]

sometimes i say things on twitter and then make a little graph about it

[the-macintosh-system]

what does this mean

moot what does this mean

[a-sentient-cup]

[aleshakills]

Who made a trans inclusive Mickey's Dick Smasher edit?

[bogleech]

Who made this edit, it's the most valid one

[il9vemyputer]

everyone on replies is terrified of this fact but i just think it's so sweet and heartwarming. she's holding our hand and leading us somewhere secret and we're both giggling like kids. i love her

[solowinged]

let’s travel through the vast unknown with mama

[cottoncandylesbo]

squeezing my pussy and concentrating all the microplastics in my body to print a perfect tiny figurine of a fruit bat

[staff]

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits