Gary made me get one of these, I'm not totally sure what I'm doing though. He said he'd help but that little cunt ran off and now I can't find 'em anywhere.
I guess I'll be on here, at least until someone Kyle takes my phone again... Feel free to ask me questions, I think that's part of this, right?
I think Bugs said something about questions? Or asks? Fuck if I know- Bug Boy set me up for failure here...
Anyways, you can ask questions, talk to me, I don't know. Just like- don't be an asshole? Or Graves? Yeah, don't be Graves.
TW: Child abuse (verbal, implied physical), religious trauma, mentions of murder, attempted suicide
Okay, so Red had a pretty shit childhood, yeah? And it only got worse after Noah died.
One of Dad's classic speeches, all about how he "hated them", how they "corrupted Noah" and of course there was how they "deserved to be the one the coyotes snacked on every night".
But today there was also something new.
"I hope you live. I hope, when God comes back to reclaim his children, you're left here. I hope you wander the earth forever- stuck with the wars and the sinners and I hope you never die."
They still think of it- every time they have a near death experience. Got shot two millimeters away from the heart? Dad must have pushed it just enough. Got heatstroke followed by frostbite? Dad was the one to freeze them while keeping their heart pumping. Survived torture? Musta been dad who lead the rescue team.
It's funny- some people would thank God for surviving, but Red? Red would curse the man who knocked their mother up and helped bring them and their brother into the world.
Sometimes, when things are quiet, Red remembers the other half of that day. What happened after dad said those things.
They'd run from the house, past the baker who always accused them of stealing, past the farmer who made them work extra hours when Noah had died- "making up for lost labor" he said, past the doctor who hurt them and past the woodcarver who let him.
They ran and ran and ran until they couldn't run anymore.
They ran to the lake.
Their lake.
The place that was once a safe haven, where they and Noah would play until the moon came up and the wildlife hushed.
The lake where the strongest men of the town held Noah down under the water, held him until he stopped thrashing, all under The First Son's watchful eyes.
Maryanne had sobbed that day, sobbed until they couldn't breathe through the tears, until they held their head under the water.
But of course- they survived.
Dad had cursed them after all.
They would survive. Noah would be gone, and they would live in a world without him.
So Topino was trying to teach me how to make homemade pasta and uh... Yeah.
I'm not sure what you're gonna do with it but I'm sure you'll find something, yeah? Yeah. You've got connections. You're smart and cool, I'm sure everything will be alright... Probably.
- @military-title-red đ„
UhhhhhâŠ
I guess the Shadowâs are having spaghetti tonight, then.
Also good job learning how to make pasta! It is uh. Itâs certainly an experience, isnât it?
Well at one point I think Topino put a curse on me and my entire bloodline because I tried eating oranges while we were working, but I'm like- 95% sure I'm the only one who's still alive and has the Brother Richard blood running through their veins so... I think I'm okay? :D
7. What kind of prank are they most likely to get got by?
9. How much money would they waste trying to get a cool prize at a claw machine game?
What is the worst haircut theyâve ever had?
On a scale of âtiny kittenâ to âmiddle-aged dadâ how loud are their sneezes?
I uh- I forgot the numbers...
(definitely no one important asking... Definitely no Red sitting in the corner taking notes...)
7.Prank? I smell those>:) I fall for them every time because my sense of smell is only trained for food (the K9 probably get scared when I identify god food faster than them)
9.I don't play much with claw machines BUT if I wanted something with all my sould I would go up to 80⏠before abandoning it... Which is still a lot but at least I make good money
...
Ok, I was like 12 and though that it would be so cool to hase the sides of my head shaves so I had a silly haircut where my hair wasn't long enough to be tied up and the sides were badly shaved so I had a horrible haircut no matter what...
Oh, I sneeze aproximately like an old Fiat trying to turn on exept something probably explodes and for some reason I often sneese three times in a row instead of two :3
@military-title-red because you are hiding there and I smelled you (you loooove garlic bread buddy, but it's not smell proof)
Oh! Actually! Y'know mate, 'm pretty good at claw machines! We should head out some time, 'f you pay me then I'll get ya' whatever you want from one of those little boxes!
So you're sayin'... Y' had a Soap level hair? I need pictures mate, I need 'em.
An' I can confirm, those sneezes are... Terrifying. <they say as someone with tiny little kitten sneezes. Red... Red sneezes like a bunny. If that.
After breakfast/a few more cuddles (and illegal snackies) for mause, Red had insisted on cleaning up dishes. Muttering something about "if I can't cook, I might as well clean..." And threatening to bite Thomas when he tried to help.
With a quick shower and change of clothes, it was out to the shops for a dress!
...which turned out to be a lot harder than Thomas thought...
"I... I don't like the length! I don' wanna look like a damn prossie for our fancy dinner!!"
Bullshit. It was the exact length they were looking for earlier, and it just 'somehow' became too short after a quick look at the price tag. Three different perfect dresses, all suddenly unacceptable whenever Red noticed the zeros. Thomas couldn't blame them, he really couldn't, but they weren't even paying...
@military-title-red đ„
Thomas huffs at yet another dismissed dress, his arms empty of bags, when they should be very full. Very full! He knows that some people have issues with money, but he thought Red had understood when Thomas said he'd buy anything. Scowling, Thomas grabs the dress and checks the price, brows furrowing even more when he sees how 'cheap' it is.
"What's wrong with this one? It looks good on ya! Uhm.... sexy and all that."
He tilts his head a little, looking off to the side as he gets off topic.
"Wait, do you like being called sexy? Can I say that? No, no, off topic. Go try the dress on... please."
Whatever joke Red was going to make about being called sexy died in their throat, replaced with a huff.
It's only the gentle please Thomas adds on that makes Red sigh. Unable to argue, they simply grab the dress and move to the changing rooms.
The dress itself was nice, not too long or too itchy- really it was exactly what Red loved. Oh and don't even get them started on the color... Prettiest shade of orange they'd ever seen.
It was also âŹ2,000.
Even *if* Thomas offered to pay, there's no way they could do that to him. 2k? That's more than Red's rent! Y'know what they'd do for that kinda money?
Whatever. They might as well show him anyways. Might as well get some use out of the thing, even if that's showing off for Thomas before putting it back on the rack.
Stepping out, Red smoothed down the dress and spoke.
"Tommy? What do ya' think? I dunno, I think 's a bit... I dunno, can' think of a good excuse but I don' like it."
