fuck it, i never ever do those “reblog for X, this one really works!” posts, but this one doesn’t have any of that BS, this is just straight up wishing us good things; and then the comment doesn’t even say any of that either. Zero claims on this post, all positive vibes
May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love
Imagine rough sex with eds and you guys just break the bed and you have to tell wayne
✶ ┄ BROKEN BEDS !
summary: you and eddie break his bed. the worst part is having to tell wayne.
pairing: eddie munson / f!reader
warning: smut! eddie being the cutest human alive! a wild appearance from uncle wayne! 18+ mdni!
a/n: i need everyone to know that when i wrote this draft, i titled it "breaking bed" and it made me chuckle a lil. anyway, thanks for your request anon! enjoy xoxo
( MASTERLIST )
when eddie muson fucks, he fucks like a wild animal
he grunts with each of his rough thrusts, brown eyes somehow darker with lust while his untamed curls cling to his sweaty forehead
and you just let him drill into you because, truth be told, you love him this way
you hold the backs of your thighs and keep yourself wide open for him while he fucks so deeply into you
he leans over you, one hand white-knuckled where it grips his headboard, and the other wrapped around your throat
not tight enough to choke you exactly, but to make sure your eyes stay locked on his as he fucks you for all your worth
the headboard slams into the wall in time with each of his thrusts, rhythmic bang bang bangs that you’d be scared are leaving a dent in the wall if eddie wasn’t making you feel so good
he tilts your jaw to the side to expose your neck to him
and he hides his face in the sweaty crook of it, seeking refuge there while he nips and suckles at the warmed skin
you just keep begging for him to go harder and deeper and faster as he fucks you more and more stupid
and eddie complies without question
he revels in the way you keen each time he pounds into you and how your face scrunches up and your back arches for him
your toes curl and your legs tense up so hard they start to quiver
and right when you’re about to come, the bed suddenly jolts and dips beneath you, accompanied by loud crashing sound
it scares the shit out of you and you squeal while eddie lets out a grunt of surprise
because his bed just fucking broke
and it isn’t the most surprising thing in the world, the thing is about as old as he is
but it does take the two of you off guard
all you can do in the moment is laugh about it
and eddie barely wastes another second before he starts fucking you again
because his bed is already broken, who cares if it gets more fucked up?
plus he knew how close you were to your orgasm and you just look so pretty when you come <3
the worst part about it though is telling wayne
because there’s no way he’s not going to notice
and eddie can’t exactly sleep on a crooked bed
so he just comes up with the shittiest excuse known to man “so the thing is... i was… jumping on the bed…”
wayne furrows his brows “the hell were you doing jumping on your bed?”
“well, you see, i was just, you know… trying to… heal my inner child…”
“…what the fuck does that mean?”
but, like, obviously wayne knows
typically you’re good at keeping eddie in check and sometimes he can hear you saying you don’t want to fuck while wayne’s in the house
and that’s a part of the reason he likes you so much bc you don’t want to put him through that trauma
but you guys are young and in love and sometimes keeping your hands off of each other feels like the hardest thing in the world
so he knows exactly how the bed broke
but hearing eddie trying to lie about it is the funniest thing on the planet
shopping for a new bed frame is easily the most adult thing you and eddie have ever done
and the only one he can afford is a star wars themed one in the children’s section
eddie groans and acts annoyed about having to get one that’s so childish but you know he secretly loves it
because the headboard is shaped like the cock pit of the millennium falcon with lightsabers painted on the foot of the bed
you try to put it together without wayne’s help while he’s at work
and you’re like “how long do you give it before we break this one?”
“an hour if you wine and dine me first <3”
have any blurb requests? send em here if you want!
Imagine this scenario that has happened to me, though jm changing some dialogue, but imagine its Eddie cause (
You're st a party. You and Eddie have flirted multiple times before but you haven't ever done anything except a kiss once before. You've definitely drunk too much. You aren't black out not remembering, but you are well past tipsy. Some dude is chatting you up with his hands on your hips and you keep trying to move away. "She said back off so back the fuck up before I make you" you turn and there's Eddie. Angry, chivalrous Eddie. The dude leaves, not that you even noticed, as you've turned with a smile to speak to Eddie. You trip forward slightly and he catches you, frowning slightly. This makes you frown," why are you sad dont be sad Eddie" he blinks a few times settling one arm around your waist as he leads you down the hall," not sad sweets..just concerned. How much did you drink?" You hum as you think. "3 shots and then...idk whatever is in the punch?" You shrug and lean into him before realizing he's led you to the bathroom. He sighs and shuts the door,"babe I've never seen you this drunk..." you shrug snd say," ill just throw it up and ill be fine." Eddie turns you towards the toilet and tells you to do it.
You pout and cross your arms, scrunched your nose," no I hate that why would I do that." He throws his hands up,"you just sai-" "that's gross no" you both ramble at each other for a few minutes as you kneel on the ground and look at the toilet. You pause for a moment but don't feel nauseous so you shrug, "nope think I'm good". "Y/n for the love of..." he sighs and holds his hands in a prayer pose as he looks to the sky for strength," if you don't throw up right now I will make you, you've drank too much and I dont really want to see you die of alcohol poisoning" "awh you do care".
You both stare in each other's eyes before he mumbles fuck it and grabs your jaw. With one hand he opens your mouth, and the other he puts two fingers in to the back of your throat. Now, Eddie was expecting you to gag and immediately withdraw his hand, however you didn't react which caused him to pause. He gulped and look down at you, fingers deep in your throat, as you blinked up st him before slowly moving your tongue across his fingers and sucking on them. This went on for what felt like hours to him as his brain had stopped firing, but really it was only a few seconds. As soon as his brain was working again, he removed his hand and stood straight up. Of course, at this point his dick had hardened, and dammit it was direct eye level with you kneeling on the ground looking up st him with those eyes half lidded. He looked to the sky in a prayer. You hum and kissed his hard on, which he jumped away immediately. "Sorry, did you not want that?" You apolgize frowning. "Fuck princess, of course I want that but fuck. You're drunk! We can't. You can't consent. God you look like a wet dream right now...but we can't not like this..." he lightly strokes your hair and rests his hand on the top of your head. "Hmm...but tomorrow we can?" He swallows and nods "yes yup absolutely"
You smile up at him and slowly stand, making eye contact all the way up. When you are at full height you lean in and whisper "okay, tomorrow you better put whats bigger than your fingers down my throat " he moans as you walk away.
And yes, tomorrow he does indeed do that
Oh my god anon I hope you were ok and safe when this happened! But yes eddie would so watch you at a party. The same people at these parties are the ones he sells to so he knows what’s up. He has to watch out for you and make sure you’re ok. And consent is so sexy to him! He wants grip your chin and look you in the eye tomorrow when he shoves his fingers in your mouth and his cock down your throat! He wants you gagging and nodding when you can enjoy how he’ll fuck your face, lips chapped from the friction, ticklish nose from his pubes. He wants to look you in the eye as you take his cum down your throat, draining him dry, drool pouring out your mouth, maybe even some light tears because your so cockdrunk and you worship that python between his legs!!! He ain’t called a freak for no reason 😭
He lets you sit in on hellfire and explains everything much to the groups annoyance but Eddie just sweetly reminds them "you were begginers at one point" :)))
Once you're confident enough you join the campaign, only your idea of playing is very different to the others.
"You lean against the wall and crash through it - accidently stumbling into a secret lair. You take a few hesitant steps and freeze when you hear a low hissing noise and suddenly a goblin lunges at you - snarling and brandishing a small rusted knife"
"Kill it!"
"Attack the goblin!"
You hum, frowning.
"I ask the goblin it's name"
Everyone but Eddie groans.
"Gary, it hisses out" Eddie giggles out in a low voice, "Gary hands you an apple"
"Aw thanks Gary!" Genuine delight in your voice.
"You should kill it!" Someone moans, you frown again.
"Why would i kill Gary? He's given me an apple!"
By the end of the campaign, you've amassed a small army of all sorts of creatures that follow you loyally. It comes in handy when your group is facing down The Boss - a illithilich.
"Gary leaps in front of the psionic blast that would have torn you apart"
"NooOOOO GARY!!!!!" You cry.
Your army protects you and your fellow travellers, sacrificing themselves in order to give the group chances to take down the illithilich.
"Bob The Troll starts grunting, waving its thick arms and attracting the attention of the illithilich - giving the group the opening it needs to attack"
"Not Bob!" One of the guys cries, "He was so nice! He let me sit on his shoulders!"
"Do you attack?" Eddie stresses.
"We can't let Bob and Gary and Tim and Fluffy's, and everyone else's deaths be in vain!"
"We attack with the wrath of a thousand burning suns!"
When you've all defeated the boss and slowly pack away, you pout at Eddie.
"Why'd my buddies have to die?"
"It was them or you" He says, patting your shoulder, "They died happy - knowing you lived"
Pairing - Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader
Summary - When Fred finds Y/n wearing a jumper which isn’t her own (and certainly isn’t his), he can’t help but question who it must belong to.
Warnings - Bit of angst, mentions of stress
Words - 1.5K
Masterlist
It was a jumper. It was just a jumper. A bit of material, sewed together by needle and thread with absolutely no deeper meaning than such. At least, that’s how Y/n saw it. Fred, however, saw the Hufflepuff title over the jumper, the smell that still lingered and the initials which were still printed into the label. Just two letters which taunted him: C.D
Fred had made it abundantly clear from the moment the two made their title of couple official, that Y/n was his. His hand seemed very so delicately glued to her, his eyes trained on her (even when she wasn’t looking) and constantly trying to be at her side. This was mostly because of the great feelings he felt for the girl; feelings of which, sometimes, he struggled to comprehend. But there was too a small part of him which did it to ensure no one else got any ideas.
The boy wanted to make it out to be as if there was no point in trying. If he was to ensure that their relationship was shown to be as concrete as it felt, then no one else would try to slip their way between them. And Fred’s plan had been working; it had been working bloody brilliantly. Well, that was before now. Because, as it turns out, the Weasley boy had walked into the library, set to meet Y/n, only to find her sat at a table with friends, dressed in a jumper which wasn’t her own - and certainly wasn’t his.
She was sat there, a book flicked to a page Fred knew she definitely wasn’t reading as she quietly giggled with her friends. Friends of which Fred knew weren’t Quidditch players who he also could assume wouldn’t thus own Quidditch jumpers. So, the question which came to Fred’s head, was simply: Who’s jumper was it?
He had been standing at a halt in the middle of the Libary, so deep in thought he didn’t have it in him to get Y/n’s attention. That was until she caught his sight, smiled, then lost her smile as she noted his discouraged expression.
can you do something about making out with eddie under the bleachers at a basketball game? like sloppy make out session vibes? thank youuuu
Eddie's using too much tongue. You know he is, there's saliva dripping down your chin and the roof of your mouth is tingling from an accidental swipe, but you don't care. The squelch of your saliva blending in an obscene mixture that makes you dizzy.
You can hear the squeak of kids above you, sneakers scraping on the metal seats that you're huddled under. It's prime makeout session territory, and you've only had to deal with one other couple trying to steal it from you so far.
You hear the roar of the crowd above you but nothing matters more than Eddie's hand, thumb brushing the apple of your cheek while his fingers grip the back of your neck. He's using it to tilt your head backwards, so close to you that you can't breathe without smelling him.
He grunts and groans into the sloppy kiss, lips shining with spit whenever he breaks away only to shift positions and dive back in. You're feeling weak in the knees, though they're bent around his waist, and something below your belly stirs as his other hand squeezes your hip.
The ball, apparently out of bounds, slams against the metal slat just beside your face. Your eyes widen but it's useless to scream, because the sound is lapped up by Eddie who's barely even phased. His eyes snap shut again from where they'd been persuaded open by the loud noise, something aggressive in the way he rearranges you to face him again from where you'd startled.
His nose prods firmly at your skin, smashed there from how forcefully he's pushing himself into you. He kisses messy and he kisses hard, his tongue roving over yours with a hunger you'd only seen before sex.
"Eddie," You gasp in a rare moment of personal space, the second he pulls away to readjust, "We can't- not here."
"No one'll know," He barely bothers to grunt back a reassurance, already tugging your mouth to his. His tongue smooths over your bottom lip with ease, licking eagerly, sensually up into your mouth once more. But you push at his chest, gasping for breath when he pulls away with a raised eyebrow.
"Not here," You repeat, sounding like a broken record. He scoffs, amusement dancing in his eyes as he leans in. His tongue is hot and wet on your face as he licks a strand of saliva from your chin, lips meeting yours once more as he licks his way into your mouth.
"I won't do anything," He promises, although his hand is nearing closer and closer to the hem of your shirt, likely to slip beneath it, "Scout's honor."
"Were you a scout?" You breathe between kisses, intrigue quirking your brow up.
"Nope," He huffs out a laugh, shaking his head so that his messy curls fly around his shoulders. His hand finally snakes beneath your shirt and gives your breast a fond squeeze. He practically swallows your indignant scoff that comes only seconds later, lips already hungrily chasing your own, "That's why I said it."
Summary - Eddie has a habit of saying "uh huh" while inside you. He always was one for flattery and praise.
Warnings - 18+ MDNI, smut, fluff, all the good stuff, switch!Eddie, penetrative sex, reader taking charge, dirty talk, pet names (sweetheart, babe, sweet pea).
Author’s Note - I’ve realised I can only write established relationship smut because I need this dork to say “I love you” at least once. DO NOT REPOST OR EDIT MY WORK
///
Eddie always needs to be making some form of sound during sex. It’s more of an impulse rather than a voluntary response. The skin slapping, squelching and cries from you are incredible but he needs to voice how much he’s having his world rocked.
He quickly developed the habit of saying “uh huh” during sex - regardless of setting, position or volume.
-
His hips are slamming into you from behind while his hands knead the swell of your ass. Your upper body is slumped onto his bed, face pressed into a lumpy, squishy pillow.
The arch of your body means his cock is hitting your g-spot and you swear you feel your eyes roll back into your skull. He’s just so good. So good to you in every way. A sharp smack stings your ass cheek, followed by a soft massage. The throb of your walls has Eddie huffing out a laugh.
“I felt thaaaat, sweetheart. God, you’re fuckin’ drenched. Uh huh, keep being my gooood girl. ” He teased, continuing to spank and massage you.
“Ed-Eddie, Eddie,” you groaned, it was like his name was the only word you could remember. The squelch from you cunt was getting louder the harder Eddie drove his hips into you. He was panting and grunting curse words above you. Losing himself almost as quickly you lost yourself.
He had gotten so good at telling when you were close. The pulse of puffy walls and your knuckles turning white from gripping his sheets were evidence enough. So, he stopped pounding into you and started grinding his hips in slow, torturous circles.
“You close, babe? Uh huh? Fuuuck,” He sighed, the blissful smile on his face came through in his voice. As always, Eddie soon reached the point of being sweaty and near delirious from how long he was dragging out his release. You’d soaked his cock twice now and he needed it one more time.
“Uh huh, uh huh, yeah, shit,” he rambled, alternating between rough, uneven thrusting and impossibly deep grinds, “uh huh, sweetheart, I wanna cum with you so fuckin’ bad, uh huh,”
Uh huh. Uh huh. That phase and the feeling of you cumming on his swollen cock again was all he knew. His vision blurred as he buried himself as deep as he could in you, spilling into the condom and release a howl of a moan.
-
You were riding Eddie while he was in the driver’s seat of his van. Bouncing on his thick cock with an erratic pace. Eddie was helping to stabilise you with his hands digging into the fat of your thighs. Your moans were enthusiastic and giggly, while his were desperate and gorgeous.
“Aw, did my pretty boy dream about this?” You giggled, starting to circle your hips, “Me. Fucking myself on you in the van?” Christ, you were so wet and he felt incredible.
“Uh huh,” Eddie whined, his head slammed back into the headrest. Your cunt was making his cock sticky and so warm, it felt like heaven and he was privileged enough to experience it.
You pressed your mouth to his in a wet, deep kiss. He chased your tongue as it slid into his willing mouth. Your hands knotted into his shaggy hair, thugged and he groaned like a man possessed.
Eddie pulled away from the kiss to press his sweaty forehead to yours. “You feel so fucking good, Eds. So pretty and so big.”
“Uh huh, I’m good, I’m a good boy, uh huh.” Eddie panted, desperate to cum in you and eating up the praise you loved to shower him with. It had become a sec tradition of sorts for him to compliment himself as well as you.
Hearing his sighs of “uh huh” had you ravenous for both your release and his. The slap your cunt meeting his cock was addictive and you started to grind your clit into him.
The bounce. The grind. The beautiful whines, “uh huh, fuck, baby, love you. Uh huh, please cum with me. Please. Please. Make a mess on my dick. Please.” It was all consuming and your cunt greedily sucked on his cock until he came with a wail.
-
“Uh huuuuh, you take me so well, sweetheart.” Eddie sighed, sliding his cock into you slowly. He held you so close and moaned onto your lips as he settled inside your warm cunt.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and panted against his wet full lips. The slow stretch of her puffy walls was so intimate and made your heart swell.
“Eds, oh my god,” He shifted and reached even deeper inside you. Both of you relishing in the gushes of your cunt. He didn’t move inside. Eddie buried his face in your neck while you massaged his scalp.
The raw feeling of making love was still quite fresh, but seeing Eddie’s eyes sparkle up at you was unmatched.
“My lady all loved up and happy? Uh huh?” Eddie giggled, a goofy smile on his sweaty face. God, he was just too pretty, it made you want to cry sometimes.
“Mhmm, she’s very happy. How you doing, sweet pea?”
“Sweet pea? That’s new,” He started to move then, the new pet name was really doing it for him. It was sweeter than he felt he deserved but it made him want to show you just how much he loved you. His sweet pea.
The evening continued with laughs, gasps, moans and an outpouring of intimacy that neither of you were used to but welcomed.
Words weren’t needed as Eddie thrust into you slowly, making sure treat you like the treasure you were. Words weren’t needed but that didn’t stop Eddie’s mumbling and groans of “uh huh”. He was a stickler for praise and flattery, after all.
the commonly referenced 'messy bun' eddie puts his hair into isn't actually a bun, it's just a ponytail he didn't pull all the way through
His pretty pretty curls tied back all messy because it’s summer and he’s got to clean out his van
That’s the plot synopsis of this. Also, goofy fluff for fluff's sake
///
July in Hawkins was usually a similar temperature to the surface of the sun. Eddie would lovingly grumble about how it “feels like Satan’s moist armpit”; he had such an eloquent way with words.
The summer sun was particularly punishing as it bounced around the trailer park. You were almost tempted to try and cook some eggs for breakfast on the steps of Eddie's trailer - the resulting bacteria would have been a bitch to deal with though.
Eddie always used hot, sticky summer days to clean his van. The body and windows desperately needed to be blasted with a hose. A whole lot of random crap had accumulated in the back of the van - fast food wrappers, busted guitar cables, Corroded Coffin poster samples. The brown shag rug lining the back needed to be vacuumed very, very badly, too.
You were always happy to help out with the van cleaning. Partly because it was just nice to spend time on a nice day with your boyfriend. But mainly because you got to look at him while he cleaned.
Eddie didn't own any shirts that were breezy enough for the July heat, so he ditched the shirt altogether. His tattoos and freckled skin were on full display in the golden sunshine. He was glowing. One, because he was a pretty guy, and two, because you had rubbed a lot of sunblock on him - much to his protests.
In addition to going half-naked, "showing off the goods," as he put it. Eddie also tied his curls up. The hair tie he used, which was probably months old, given how overstretched it was, only held his hair back loosely. The ponytail sat against the back of his neck, and several wild strands fell around his sweaty face.
You were taking a break from vacuuming the car seats, lounging back on a low, green deck chair and observing. Secretly, you were happy that you had the privilege of seeing Eddie being all effortlessly hot. The guy was a solid 10, and no one else in the entire town got to see him the way you did.
Admittedly, you felt a little iffy watching him while knocking back a beer from the cooler at your feet, objectifying him while he was hosing down the van. But you also knew that he was far too aware of what he was doing.
"You missed a spot on the windscreen." You pointed out, gesturing to the dried bird shit near the window wipers. Eddie turned to you and peered over his sunglasses. Letting him buy aviators was an awful idea. Especially since you'd seen Top Gun with your friends a few months back.
"I'm doing the wipers separately. There's more bird shit and dead bugs on 'em than what you can see," Eddie explained. He still moved the spray of the hose over the area you had pointed out. You were just trying to be helpful, and he appreciated it. "Oh, there's a huge spider in here too! Come see!"
You had to peel yourself off the plastic of the deck chair - the heat was just a joke now. Eddie had started poking at the wipers, inspecting the area for any live creepy crawlers that he could save before causing a tsunami for them.
"I swear if there's hair on this spider, I'll-" You were abruptly cut off by a fast spray of water hitting you in the chest. Eddie was a dead man. Regardless of his summer look.
"Been waiting all day to do that." Eddie cackled, doubling over at the sight of the death glare you were giving him. "Love ya, though. Hey, no bra, how nice of you." he preened, quickly stealing a kiss on your damp cheek.
The t-shirt you were wearing was now like a second skin. The red cotton clung to your torso, and you quickly realised the reason for Eddie's aim. As Eddie moved away from you, you made fast work of disarming him of the hose. The second it was in your hand, his face dropped, and he bolted around the van.
"Can you blame me for the wet t-shirt?! Like really?" Eddie pleaded as you stalked after him, hose in a vice grip. You knew your boyfriend was a perv, sure, but you could still get a bit of revenge in exchange for it.
"It is chaffing my armpits, Edward." You hissed, aiming a hose blast at his head, but he quickly ducked behind one of the open back doors.
"Well, I'm sorry about that. But you've been ogling me all day! Can't a guy see some wet t-shirt action!" This time he luckily dodged your line of fire.
"I've been ogling you for twenty minutes AT MOST!"
"HA! So, you admit-" Eddie cut himself off with an "oof" as you had managed to catch him and shove him lightly into the side of the van - the clean side. He immediately raised his hands in defeat, pushing his sunglasses into his hair so he could try to win you over with the puppy dog eyes. Damn, the guy was good; you had to give him some credit. "C'mon, babe, you don't really wanna do this. How 'bout I make it up to you later? I'll do that thing-" The offer was tempting, but you only pinned Eddie more firmly to the metal.
The spray blasted directly on the top of his head, soaking his face, hair and shoulders in an instant. "You will be doing that thing later, dumbass." You grumbled, releasing the now water-logged man and marching off with the hose.
You took maybe five steps away from Eddie before he ran up, grabbed you from behind and started shaking his sodden hair in your face like a big dog. His barking laugh at your struggling to run away warmed your heart and made you forgive him. Only a little bit, though.
Eddie wanting to spend time w you but you have sleepy bitch disease so he just does his normal stuff but ur taking a nap on his bed
As someone with the sleepy bitch disease, this is very much MY JAM
///
You and Eddie had been together for a little over a year, and in that time, Eddie had become intimately aware of your love for sleep. Sure, he loved lying in until noon as much as the next person, but you took it to another level. The term 'heavy sleeper' was an insult to you, in his opinion.
The peak of your sleeping ability - he had started thinking it was like a superpower of something - came during a stormy night in September. Hailstones, sheets of rain and violent wind battered his trailer for hours into the night. Eddie got maybe an hour or two of sleep that night, but you were essentially dead to the world once you got snuggled into his bed. He had opted to being your pillow that night since you had been pulling him to your chest and making little tired noises that made him melt - not he was going to openly admit that to you, obviously.
Once December hit, the trailer would be near sub-zero by the time the sun went down. Eddie and Wayne had done all they could to seal with windows and doors, trying to trap the heat in as best they could. Eddie suggested window sealant, but Wayne shut down that idea very quickly since he wanted to get his deposit on the place back eventually.
You had been coming to stay the night at the trailer, and Eddie was initially stressed about you being too cold at night. Which, in his mind, would lead to you never coming to stay again, and everything would fall apart afterwards. A cold trailer was not going to impede your deep sleeping, though. While Eddie wasn't the warmest person to cuddle up to, he had compensated by piling pillows and blankets into his bed.
Once Eddie had picked you up from your shift at the library, you would immediately beeline for the bed fort that he had constructed for you both. Admittedly, the cold had made you even more tired than you normally would have been after work. The heater that was kept in the office had started leaking that afternoon, so you and your co-workers had been working in your scarves and gloves until closing.
Eddie always had a small smile on his face when you dozed off. His girl bundled up in his bed, where you belonged. He was all too aware of how rough work had been on you lately, so he decided to get started on some chores and dinner for when you woke up.
Most people would think that Eddie was incapable of being quiet, but he was quite the opposite. If anything, him being so loud was a front for him enjoying the mundane hum of the trailer and you shifting around in his bed. He tried to walk as lightly as possible while gathering up laundry around his room - some of it was his clothes and some of it was yours. The washing machine would be loud as fuck but you slept through a snowstorm once, you’d be fine.
With the laundry on and a pot of spaghetti simmering, Eddie felt a weird but nice wave of domestic bliss. Would it be like this when you guys moved in together? Maybe the whole househusband thing could work for him - a bit unconventional, but that was basically his middle name. You had told him on several occasions that he looked good in an apron.
His bedroom door had always been squeaky, no matter how much WD-40 he caked on the hinges. Eddie wanted to grab his acoustic guitar to get some practice in while dinner cooked. You’d mentioned liking ‘Trust Me’ by Janis Joplin when digging through Wayne’s records, so Eddie was secretly learning it - Joplin wasn’t exactly his usual choice of music, but she was pretty hardcore, in his opinion.
His socked feet made it to his guitar before you mumbled and gestured him to you, “You’re in the apron.”
Your eyes were still closed while a sleepy grin wormed across your face. Eddie was about ready to pounce and forget about dinner. “‘M making dinner. And cleaning stuff. Was gonna dance with the vacuum for you, but thought that might be a bit too much.”
“When’s that ever been something you worried about?” You laughed.
“Didn’t want to wake you.” Eddie smiled, kneeing by your side of the bed and moving hair from your face. “Plus, I can’t dance. You said it yourself.” He pouted and wiped a fake tear from his eye.
“I only said that because you were drunk and about to get on that coffee table.” You fondly remembered that party from a few months back. Eddie had actually danced with you pretty well when you both went outside for some air. He did try to dip you and dropped you on the front lawn, but at least he tried.
“And I would have been fine. Five beers and I’m ready to go.” Eddie said, wiggling his eyebrows at you. You snorted and lightly shoved his face away from you.
“It was a glass coffee table, babe.”
“It was Steve’s coffee table, babe. His folks could afford a replacement.”
“Yeah, but it’d end up coming out of your pocket. His dad’s a big bitch about money, remember?”
He pouted at you once again, but decided to properly retaliate this time. You barked out a laugh when he gathered you up in one of the blankets and hauled you up.
“You’ve disturbed my beauty rest.” You grumbled, standing up still wrapped in your blanket cocoon.
“You don’t need it.” He quipped, giving you a big smile when you gagged. Eddie knew you liked his cheesy compliments, but the fake disdain was still funny. “Besides, we gotta eat. It’s almost 10.”
You grimaced when he placed a sloppy kiss on your forehead. “Is that why I hear a pot boiling over?”
“Fuck, fuck, shit fuck.” Instead of immediately run to the kitchen, Eddie started to essentially sheep dog you along with him. Like you, in your still sleepy state, would be of any help. But it was nice to be considered.
the thought of eddie in a ponytail has me in a chokehold so here’s some filth. 18+ mdni
eddie’s hands are on your thighs, thumbs rubbing circles over the soft flesh. you’re on the couch and he’s sitting on the floor in front of you, body slotted between your knees as you pull his unruly hair back into a haphazard ponytail.
it started innocently enough—you wanted to see what he’d look like with his hair up. you knew he’d look cute.
but now you’re imagining him hovering over you like this, only his bangs and a few rogue locks of hair freed from his borrowed hair tie, pupils swallowing his irises whole as he fucks you into the mattress.
it doesn’t help that his palms are warm on the meat of your thighs. it doesn’t help that he’s watching you while you finish up the ponytail and smooth your hand over the top of his head carefully. it doesn’t help that he recognizes the look on your face, the poorly restrained neediness etched into your features. he lowers his head and kisses your knee.
“how do i look, princess?” his voice is tantalizingly raspy.
“handsome,” you say. your compliment earns you a crooked grin.
eddie’s hands find the outer sides of your thighs, and arousal pools in your gut when he smooths his palms up, up, up to your nearly naked hips. his fingers find the waistband of your underwear and he gives you a questioning look, as if to say is this alright?
you nod your assent and he doesn’t hesitate to pull the fabric down to your ankles. he doesn’t notice the dark patch your leaking cunt had left on the cotton—he’s too busy going right for the source, his hands encouraging your knees open wide before you lean back, hips pushed to the edge of the couch to allow him better access.
“jesus, babe, why didn’t you say anything?” eddie’s eyes are locked on your cunt, folds glistening with the evidence of your arousal.
“i’m sorry,” you say without much emotion. he shakes his head and tuts at you.
“you know i’ll take care of you when you need it. all you need to do is ask.”
your eyes are closed because you need to focus on the feeling of his breath on your inner thighs; your cunt clenches around nothing, desperate for him to shut up and make you come. but when he doesn’t do anything for a few agonizing moments, you open your eyes and peer down at him. he’s smirking. evil.
“i said,” he sighs, “all you need to do is ask.”
evil indeed.
“can you…” you bite at the inside of your cheek, desperate to feel his mouth on you but embarrassed to put the words together. “can you eat me out?”
“hmm. what’s the magic word?”
“please?”
“the other one. ask me again the right way, won’t you?”
while he’s talking, he’s rubbing his hands into your thighs, massaging his fingertips into your warm, supple flesh. it feels good, but you desperately need his fingers somewhere else. you swallow hard.
“can you eat me out, please, daddy?”
eddie smiles sharply, devilishly. “much better.”
he kisses your knee again, softer this time. then he kisses right above your knee, then higher, higher, until your thigh is covered in open-mouthed kisses. when his lips find the pudge of your inner thighs, he laves his tongue over the fat there, the taste of your flesh drawing a low moan from his throat. you whine in response, hips shifting as if to vie for his attention. but he keeps his mouth on your thigh, opening his lips around your skin and sucking harshly. a bruise blooms on the delicate flesh when he pulls back, watercolor pink and red and purple.
“take your shirt off for me, yeah? let me see those pretty tits.”
you obey wordlessly, ripping off your oversized tee and tossing it onto the couch beside you. he hums appreciatively, eyes drinking in the sight of your bare chest. your nipples are hard, goosebumps raised all over your naked torso.
“thank you, sweetheart,” he says, then swipes his broad tongue up the seam of your cunt.
you draw in a gasp and throw your head back; he’s barely touched you and you’re already overtaken with pleasure. the wet muscle of his tongue swipes through your dripping folds, collecting every drop of arousal possible to drink down greedily. you’re moaning almost embarrassingly loud, but he appreciates it. actually, it almost seems like he’s moaning back sometimes, the vibrations delicious against your needy pussy as he devours you like you’re his last meal.
the wet, slick sounds of his mouth on your cunt are so lewd, you want to hide from embarrassment. but it’s just too good. eddie laps at your folds, tongue breaching your entrance every so often before he moves up to focus on your clit, fireworks exploding behind your eyelids with every push of the muscle against your puffy bundle of nerves. when he brings one finger to your hole and pushes it in without resistance, you realize you won’t last much longer.
“so wet, that was too easy, wasn’t it,” eddie speaks against your pussy, lips shiny with arousal, “let’s try another, hm?”
you don’t have time to say yes, please before he pushes a second finger in, curling both digits inside the tensing walls of your desperate cunt. a high whine leaves your parted lips; the sensation is fucking insane. he kisses your clit almost affectionately before he begins to fuck his fingers into you, quickly setting a harsh pace. your cunt gushes and squelches around him, the sounds absolutely filthy in the silence of the room. when he starts to flick his tongue over your clit, circling the bud in tandem with his relentless finger-fucking, you feel the tension in your lower belly start to unravel.
“shit, eddie—daddy, i might—“
he slams his fingers into you even more harshly and you almost scream, back arching on the plush cushions of the couch. you’re only half conscious of the fact that you’ve started to roll your hips against his face and those unforgiving fingers of his. and without another warning, your orgasm splits you into a thousand pieces. you shake and thrash on the couch like a woman possessed, tension finally exploding in a wave of bliss. it takes a while for you to finally ride it out, and when you finally come to, it’s hard to keep your eyes open.
“you squirted,” eddie points out. his fingers leave your cunt and you look down at him to see his face shiny with liquid. he smiles that wicked smile of his. “made a mess of me, didn’t you?”
you want to apologize, but the sight of him dripping with your juices, his hair pulled back into a ponytail, his eyes ablaze with arousal—it’s too much. your pussy throbs with need. already.
“what’s that look for?” eddie asks when he catches you staring. he stands up, just to lean over your body on the couch and grab your chin with his thumb and forefinger. “tell you what, princess. lick my face clean and i’ll fuck you.”
700+ words of flirty fluff, bad jokes and a musical number. Fem!reader but feel free to switch around the pronouns ☺️
Author's note: Hi friends! I seriously cannot thank you all enough for the love on this series of blurbs. It makes me so happy. I'm going through some stuff in my personal life right now and writing about a lovesick loser (affectionate) is keeping me sane.
Friendly reminder: This blog is 18+ only and minors/blank blogs will be blocked.
Credit to @delishlydelightfuldividers for the honey divider 💖
If you'd like to listen to the song mentioned, here's a link to it on Spotify
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
"Hey Chef?"
"Yes, my dear?"
"What is 'Eddie' short for?"
"Edward. Why?"
"Is-" you try to stifle your laughter "-is 'Chef' short for Chefward?"
He gives you an annoyed look before shaking his head and laughing. It's an awful joke but he loves it nonetheless.
He opens his mouth to say something but stops himself. He was going to ask, "Yeah, you wanna be Mrs. Chefward Munson?" But he figures you're not quite there yet.
It's 3pm on a Tuesday, the diner is pretty much dead save for two older women who have been gossiping in their booth since they came in at 1. You're busying yourself with cleaning the countertops, Eddie has his elbows resting on the window counter and his head resting in his, looking bored while he watches you. The radio in the diner is set to Soul and R&B, it usually is. One song ends and then "Baby You Got It" by Brenton Wood starts to play. You nod your head to the song and jump once you hear Eddie begin to sing along. It's absolutely not his usual style but he's learned it from how many times it is played on this station. You walk up to him with eyes wide, the two women seem to be so wrapped up in their stories that they don't pay attention to him.
"Eddie" you whisper trying to get him to stop.
He smiles at you and leaves the kitchen. You watch him as he comes out into the dining area, still singing. He walks up to you,
"Foxy clothes" he tugs at your apron string.
"Cutest nose" he boops your nose.
You're mortified yet endeared, a combination you so often feel around him.
The women are staring now with their mouths open as he serenades you. You're holding your face in your hands.
"People can be cruel, they say I've lost my cool" he makes eye contact with the women and looks back at you.
"But baby it's hard to keep my cool when I'm around you" He has most certainly lost his cool.
He holds your face in his hands, "Cause baby, you got it" your heart is beating a mile a minute as you look into his eyes. He looks down at your lips for just a second, then you both jump at the sound of clapping and whistling from the two ladies. You give them a sheepish wave and lightly elbow Eddie. "Back to work, Romeo."
For lunch you order a plate of pancakes for yourself. He places the plate on the counter for you and gives you a smile. You go to grab the plate and say, "Thank you, Chef. Do we have any peanut butter?"
He raises an eyebrow.
"Yeah, I think so. Why? Someone want a PB&J?"
He gasps and covers his mouth.
You shake your head. "S'for the pancakes."
"What kind of person would do that to my pancakes?!"
You shrug at his dramatics and say, "I would, they're for me." and pulls away your plate, horrified that he could have feelings for such a monster.
"Sweetheart, why are you tainting my delicious food? You a dog or something? Gotta put peanut butter on food to eat it?"
You swat at him "Don't call me a dog! That's rude."
"Well, you're being rude by messing with perfection."
You huff at him and sneak back to the kitchen, grabbing the peanut butter. You spread a thin layer over each pancake as Eddie watches you in horror. You pour over the maple syrup and cut yourself a piece.
"You're just doing this to mess with me, aren't you?"
You look up at him before taking a bite. It's delicious, nutty, creamy and syrupy, all the good things.
He shakes his head, "You're committed to the bit, I'll give you that."
You roll your eyes. "It isn't a bit! Here, just try it."
He sighs and decides to try it. Not because he thinks he will like it, but because it would mean he gets to eat off of your fork (which is basically like kissing, right?)
You hold the fork up to his lips and he takes a tentative bite.
"I mean... I'm not going to die or anything. But I'm still not happy with you, missy."
In reality, the pancakes are fine, but the way you're sharing them together has him thinking this may be his favorite meal ever.
Hi friends! I was not expecting to write this so soon after part 2, but I'm rolling with it. Hope you enjoy it!! 💖 (the word counter I used says this is 666 words, thought that was cute) Flirty fluff, light sexual innuendo, cursing, sort of a bit of angst but not really. Eddie x fem!reader but feel free to switch the pronouns if you'd like ☺️ I had to include ABBA in this because I am a Mamma Mia! fan first and a human being second.
Credit to @delishlydelightfuldividers for the divider 💕
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4
During a morning shift, a middle-aged man comes into the diner. He's a bit quiet but polite. He has his "please and thank yous" down pat. You check up on him during his meal and ask how everything is.
"Wonderful, my compliments to the chef." he says.
You smile and say, "He'll be so excited to hear that."
The older man looks up at you and says, "I would mention to him to cut back on the salt a bit. He has done a number on my blood pressure enough as it is." as he says that you feel an arm wrap around your shoulder.
"Hey pops. Was my girl good to you?"
You realize this must be Wayne, Eddie doesn't talk about him often but when he does it's with adoration.
"She was great. It's good to put a face to the name since you're always talkin' 'bout her."
Eddie laughs, a little too loud and you giggle at the pink on his cheeks.
One day during your break you step outside to get some fresh air. You can hear Eddie talking to someone near the dumpster.
"You like that, sweetheart? Look at you. You're just the cutest thing I've ever seen." Your heart aches, aren't you supposed to be the cutest thing he's ever seen? You know he's a big flirt with everyone, but you thought you were special. You quietly creep around the corner and when you finally see him you want to cry. He's squatted behind the dumpster feeding chicken to a scruffy little cat while rubbing its back. It's not even scraps from a customer's meal, this son of a bitch cooked a chicken breast for a kitten who, upon further inspection, reminds you of Wayne with its greyish fur and blue eyes.
He walks you to your car after your shift. He started doing it one night the two of you were working and hasn't stopped. Even when you're leaving before him, he walks you out and then goes back inside.
"I'm in a band, y'know?" He says, drying silverware. He's facing you and has his hip pressed against the counter.
"Oh yeah? An ABBA cover band?" You joke.
"How'd you guess? We do a cover of "Chiquitita" that'll knock your socks off."
You stop rinsing cutlery and look at him.
"I know you're kidding, but I love that song."
"Yeah?" He says, turning away from you. He's known it's your favorite for weeks. You were humming throughout your shift once and he spent the following day at the record store trying to figure out what song it was. He eventually went up to an employee and hummed it to them until they could help him find it. He bought the goddamn ABBA record.
You lightly flick him with water and he acts like you've just waterboarded him, stumbling around and gasping for breath. He reaches toward the faucet and flicks you back, he throws more water than you had and you gasp, "You're getting me wet!" His eyes get huge and he starts to giggle. When you realize why you giggle right along with him.
You come in for your dinner shift one day and notice a stack of papers at the register. You pick one up and see a sketch of a fire-breathing dragon. The dragon is guarding various food items like pancakes, milkshakes, burgers, and fries. All of the papers are copies of this drawing and next to the stack, there is an old box of crayons. You ask your coworker what this is, and she says Eddie brought them in this morning to give kids something to entertain themselves with while they wait for their food. You can't wait to hand them out and you save any colored in pages for the next time you have a shift together so you can show him what a hit they were.
(Thank you all for the love on part 1 💖 It means the world to me that people enjoyed it.)
This flirty fluff is just over 700 words, fem!reader although you could switch it from "his girl" to "his boy" or "his person" if you'd like!
Credit to @delishlydelightfuldividers for the divider (I needed some way to break up my erratic thoughts and I chose this honey one to match the breakfast theme)
Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4
"Hey Eddie, can I please get a side of extra crispy bacon for this table?"
He frowns at you and looks around the kitchen dramatically, "Who's Eddie?" It takes you a second before you realize his game and reply, "Chef, can I please get a side of extra crispy bacon for this table?" A big toothy grin stretches across his face "Sweetheart, I'd give you the whole pig if you asked." As ridiculous as his joke is, it manages to give you butterflies.
Once the bacon is ready, you go to grab the plate from him and graze his hand with yours. You jump a bit at the sensation and he blushes and murmurs "You'd think I'd be used to touching hot stuff by now, wouldn't you?" he's such a dork.
One evening when it's especially slow, you're vacuuming the carpet. It's already spotless but you're just trying to find anything to keep yourself busy. Eddie is sitting on one of the stools, mindlessly twiddling with a toothpick. Once you make your way to where he's seated, he kicks out his foot in front of the vacuum. You look up at him, he's still focused on his toothpick and doesn't acknowledge your presence. You move out of the way and he does it again, still not acknowledging you as he tries desperately to hide his growing smirk. You turn off the vacuum.
"Do you need somethin', chef?"
He blushes the tiniest bit, still not looking at you.
"Nope, all good here sweetheart." He walks off to the kitchen, returning a few moments later with a piece of toast.
You ignore him and continue working with your head down. You notice a line of crumbs in front of where you know you just barely vacuumed. When you look up, Eddie has his back to you as he makes a trail of breadcrumbs for you to vacuum.
You turn off the vacuum and ask him, "What are you doing?! Can't you see I'm trying to clean?"
"Honey I'm helping you! You were just vacuuming air." He still isn't looking at you. The fact that he's bothering you so much while simultaneously ignoring you is driving you crazy.
You roll your eyes and turn the vacuum back on. Once you do, he says something too quiet for you to hear since his back is still turned.
You turn off the appliance.
"What?" You ask
"Hmm? Don't know what you're talking about."
You turn the vacuum back on and he does it again.
"Eddie! Quit messing with me."
He finally turns to face you and crowds you. He's closer to you than he's ever been before and you're suddenly unable to make eye contact with him.
"I haven't even begun to mess with you, sugar."
One morning you are folding napkins and arranging silverware while sitting at the counter. Eddie sees you as he's walking by the kitchen window and smiles, he's over the moon that he gets to work with his girl today.
You glance up at him and give a smile and a wave. He gives you a little wave back and ducks out of view. He starts walking back and forth by the window, looking at you from the corner of his eye. When you finally look up, he starts doing that thing people do when they pretend they are going downstairs. You laugh at his silliness and he looks over at you. "Oh, I'm heading downstairs for a bit. You handle the fort while I'm gone, yeah?" You shake your head at him, covering your mouth to try and dampen your laughter. He comes back into view.
"Hey now, don't go hiding your giggles. Why else do you think I go around making an ass of myself if I didn't want to hear them?"
I mentioned to @greenishghostey in the reblogs for the last post that I love idea of you forgetting your lunch one day and Eddie grabs your order pad and pen and says, "Hi! I'm Eddie, I'll be your server today. Can I get you started with any drinks or appetizers? If you're ready to order, the chef recommends the hotcake special." he adds a silly little fancy accent to "hotcake special" because he is ridiculous.
Line cook Eddie on the brain. (Tw: mentions of getting cut)
Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
I like to think of him working at a little diner. He's got his hair tied back and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth (you know the food is immaculate when the cook is smoking) He's frying up hash browns and making perfect omelets like it's nothing, all while he hums a song he's been working on.
He's such a flirt and I think he would enjoy being called "chef"
Maybe a customer doesn't like their food so you go back to ask him to remake it, he begrudgingly does and huffs out, "Just for you, sweetheart. Can't have the customers getting mad at my girl, can I?"
"No, chef."
He's taken aback by how much he enjoys it, but decides to put a pin in that for later.
He shoots you a wink and goes back to flipping the most perfect, fluffy pancakes you've ever seen.
One morning it's slow so you're helping with prep work and shredding potatoes. You accidentally knick your finger, it's barely a scratch but you hissed out of surprise when it happened. He immediately stops what he's doing, grabs the first aid kit, and starts tending to you.
"If you wanted my attention, you could have just asked. You didn't have to go chopping your finger off." He says, wrapping the bandage around your seemingly fine-looking finger.
"I wasn't-" he cuts you off with a laugh.
"Just messing with you, Sweets. I have bacon to attend to. Be careful with yourself, please." he gives your bandaged finger a quick peck before returning to his station.
I also think he'd crack jokes about the food, too. Like he's just finished deep frying onion rings and he sets them out, bowing and saying "Hors d'oeuvres for our gracious patrons"
@slut4weasleylolz thank u for the req i’m sorry it took so long!!!! <3
summary: after a long day at work, y/n comes home to find a very horny fred eagerly awaiting her return.
warnings: unprotected sex, nudity, praise, begging, shower!sex fem sub!reader dom!fred
she was exhausted. her feet ached as she took each step up the stairwell toward her apartment that she shared with her boyfriend of 3 years, fred weasley.
when she reached the fourth floor, she sighed in relief as she looked over toward the door labelled “14”
she neared the door, slipping her keys out of her pockets and slotting the right key into the lock, twisting it before hearing the click before she opened the door and stepped in.
closing the door behind her, she turned to see fred lying on the couch watching the tv - some silly muggle reality show he had been obsessed with over the last few days.
he turned when he heard the door close, a smile coming onto his face as he stood up off the couch and neared his girlfriend with loving eyes
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