smile, dog!

oozey mess

JVL
One Nice Bug Per Day
Peter Solarz

ellievsbear
tumblr dot com
todays bird
Misplaced Lens Cap

Product Placement

★
noise dept.
$LAYYYTER
we're not kids anymore.

⁂
No title available
ojovivo
Sade Olutola
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
No title available
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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@milliebug360
smile, dog!
I once heard a country song at ihop that had the lyric "liar liar truck on fire" and I laughed so hard I collapsed over the table
They weren’t lying when they said that as an adult you have to fight for your life to practice your hobbies
They also weren’t lying when they said that when you fail to do so your soul shrivels up inside your body and dies
you’ll achieve the most you can if you go at your own pace
it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,
soy yooo tu ángel de la guarda holiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. 🥺 y si no te protejo, me van a: #¡despedir! 🫢 y eso No esta Chido 🙅♀️jajaaa Entonces. 🙏investigue acerca del tema y resulta que: ¡puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! 😯 ¡Uh oh! 😆 Hay más que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demás, ¡pero no puedes teneral! 🤨 ¿Queeeé? 🤷♀️ Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas "accionistas." Y bueno. 🙏 empeze a matar personas,
c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou 😇 bon 🙏 alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. 🥺 et si je te protège pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! 🫢 et ça c'est pas Pas Super 🙅♀️ hahaaa Donc. 🙏 j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% évitable ! 😯 Oh-oh ! 😆 Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interférer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accès ! 🤨 Quoooi ? 🤷♀️ Apparemment ta mort a été préméditée par des milliers de trucs appelées des "actionnaires". Du coup.🙏 j'ai tué pas mal de monde,
hiiiiii 😇 我是亲的守护小天使!okay🙏 嗯。您在差不多半年会饿死哈🥺 若我不能救您我会被#炒鱿鱼!🫢 那可不行哦🙅♀️ 哈哈。所以昵🙏我查了一下人类饿死的原因,然后发现:诶呀呀😯亲的死是可以避免哒!😆 这世上有足够食物给亲吃,一点儿也不需要影响别人的生存率哒!但不给亲!🤨 怎么会这样昵? 🤷♀️ 原来,亲的死是被一帮叫“股东”的东西计算好滴! 所以昵🙏 我杀了一些人,
y'all are doing some rosetta stone shit to me
My sister got a new kitten and it immediately decided to loaf on a watermelon and bless us with this picture.
erm chapter 5 leak ???
happy old gnoll
Shark friend
🦈❤️
thanks tumblr, maybe i will try ringworm if you dont have anything else
come here
FUCK FUCK FUCK I HAVE TO GO TO THE DENTIST WHAT DO I DO
He's going to fucking kill you instantly, sorry
Howdy pal, it seems you’re under the impression that you’re better than me
said the slug to the Sun
I felt like shadow the hedgehog writing this out
btvs + tumblr text posts
No more apologizing for being horny on main. No more horny jail. We’re horny prison abolitionists. No gods, no masters! Wait. Okay maybe a few masters. Alright but no bars will hold us! No whips and chains will — fuck, hang on, let me start again.
he’s right
the fact that we only have “herculean task” and “sisyphean task” feels so limiting. so here’s a few more tasks for your repertoire
icarian task: when you have a task you know you’re going to fail at anyways, so why not have some fun with it before it all comes crashing down
cassandrean task: when you have to deal with people you KNOW won’t listen to you, despite having accurate information, and having to watch them fumble about when you told them the solution from the start (most often witnessed in customer service)
feel free to chime in i ran out of ideas much faster than i anticipated
Promethean task: opposite of a Cassandraean task. You have the right information, and SOMEONE has to share it. But it's all in the delivery and if you're the person to identify the problem you WILL be hated forever.
Oedipal Task: (1) Attempting to avoid an unspeakably awful outcome and in doing so creating the circumstances that will bring it about. (2) Trying to solve an problem and discovering that you are in fact the problem you are trying to solve.
Odyssean task: you’ll complete it but it’ll take 20 times longer than it should and involve multiple side quests and mini-adventures
Pandorean task: some people fucked around and now it's your job to make sure they find out