redemption (n): the act of recovering what was lost, of making amends, of rescue. the state of being fulfilled once again.
mao asadaâs 3rd place free skate at the 2014 olympics brought her from 16th to 6th place; nathan chenâs 1st place free skate at the 2018 olympics brought him from 17th to 5th. both faced immense pressure and criticism after stumbles in their short programs, but redeemed themselves powerfully.
itâs easy to be written off after expectations arenât met. it takes a certain strength to say âfuck thatâ and roar back. in figure skating, a competition consists of two segments, and itâs never over until the final bow.
just wanted to say, i really loved the figure skating costume drawings you did for last season! you style is pretty amazing. do you plan on doing more of those in the future?
thank you, i'm glad you liked the drawings!i've been pretty busy this season, but if i get the time/inspiration then i might try to draw yuzu's seimei costume (or something else? idk but seimei seems like the one i'd want to draw most rn)
World bronze medalist Boyang Jin of China, who said Friday he was skating with two sprained ankles, fought through his free skate, omitting his trademark quad lutz and having shaky landings on a quad toe, quad salchow and a few other jumps. Still, his program was good enough for 168.06 points and fourth place, which earned the Cup of China silver medalist a spot at the Grand Prix Final.
"Regardless of how I felt with my ankles, I was able to do my free skate, so I am happy with that," Jin said through an interpreter. "I was overall satisfied with my performance, regardless of the mistakes. I was pretty much off of the ice after Cup of China, getting therapy and treatment from the Chinese national team (for the ankles), and I will continue to do so after Skate America." (icenetwork)
Chinese pair skating - unlocking the dilemma: interviews with Hongbo Zhao, Sui/Han, Peng/Jin, and Yu/Zhang. Video published by CCTV5 on 28 Mar 2017, on the éŁäșäŒ program (translation below).
[intro voiceovers of lines repeated from later in the video]Â Hongbo Zhao: Training, this year we trained the most. No breaks. We want a turnaround. Want Chinese pair skating to stand up once more. You can't possibly place in the tens. You have to go and fight for the top few places in the world.
Narrator: The Chinese Skating Association has split two pair skating teams and re-partnered them. Veteran of 3 Olympics, Hao Zhang, was paired with Xiaoyu Yu, and his partner of 4 years, Cheng Peng, was paired with Xiaoyu Yu's partner Yang Jin. This news immediately caused a frenzy among skating fans, with sounds of questioning and confusion.
Zhao: I don't look. A lot of things, I don't need to look at them.Â
Cheng Peng: Whenever we speak of April each year, think of April, it's truly something... quite uncomfortable. Last April.
Hao Zhang: Of course there are a lot of online comments, and we actually do see them too. At that time, the mood, it was not great either. We, as athletes, have to continue focusing on bringing results, training hard.
Narrator: Wenjing Sui recently returned from getting the season's new programs choreographed in Canada. Yesterday afternoon she accepted surgery for her ankles.
Announcer: Now, the last pair of competitors will take the ice, from China, Wenjing Sui and Cong Han. After going through a long period of injury and rehabilitation, this 4CC is their comeback battle. [end intro voiceovers]
[title: Chinese pair skating
Unlocking the dilemma]
Ying Chen (Interviewer): Audience and friends, hello. Welcome to éŁäșäŒ. For this program, we've specially invited China's pair skating head coach, Hongbo Zhao. Hello, coach Hongbo.
Zhao: Hello, Ying Chen.
Chen: This season at the competitions we've seen you, every time while your skaters are performing, you're standing at the boards, your never crack a smile, just with a serious face.
Zhao: (laughs)
Chen: Looking at your face, really, your expression is very serious. And it also seems that in training, you're quite ruthless. Do you use a lot of pressure?
Zhao: It's not quite, my training is not extremely ruthless.
[subtitles] Zhao: Right now is the pressure too much? We are fighting to be champions. Who is asking you to take it, who said you had to take it? You are giving yourselves pressure. [end subtitles]
Zhao: This season, Chinese pair skating is facing its most difficult year. There's surgery, and then there's the pair swap. Including the junior teams, our two teams, they're new as well. It's only been a year. Everyone is fighting. Every single element, you're fighting for the top spots in the world. Competing with twists, throws, from landings to entrances to air position, you want all the elements to be top level. Your 14 elements, if they are all among the best in the world, including single elements, then you are World champions. The requirements are, if any part of your stance worsens, these are the rules, then youâre simply not as good as the others. Then you... if you want to change, want to win, then you have to change your views and start over. So a lot of finesse is required.
Chen: At the World Championships, your goals, specifically what place?
Zhao: 2017 Worlds, it's the qualifying event for the Pyeongchang Olympics. We can say it's the 'heaviest among heavy' World Championships. Right now, in pair skating, the structure, there are two Russian teams. And a Canadian one, Duhamel and co. And the Germans. Among these three, there are actually no competitors with absolute advantages. Everyone is looking at the performances on the spot, on the same ice. Therefore, I'm saying for this year, I told the athletes early this season, this is the messiest season. The differences between everyone's ability levels are not much. And for Wenjing Sui and Cong Han, with the rehabilitation this year, the hope that everyone has for their new programs, all the attention, as well as the abilities that they've displayed, there will be ups and downs. For Hao Zhang and co, after the re-partnering, the judges have given recognition to the quality of their elements. They're both qualified for the difficult of the quad twist. As a whole, if they complete both of their programs very well, then maybe - of course this isn't something where I say they must get a certain result. The most important thing is still seeing how they perform on competition ice.
Chen: Wenjing Sui and Cong Han, Xiaoyu Yu and Hao Zhang, these two pairs, we know that right from the debut they use highly difficult elements, giving everyone an impression. We have the quad throw, the quad twist, these have already been completed in training.
Zhao: Right now, the quad twist, for Chinese athletes, like Wenjing Sui and Cong Han or Xiaoyu Yu and Hao Zhang, they have [the 4Tw]. They're focused now on improving the quality. Completing it is not an issue, and in regular training, it can be done many times each day. And compared to the throw, it's safe, because of the protection and the catch, it's relatively safer. So we won't say, this season, right at Worlds, to do the quad throw. And then this year's battles, soon they're going to be the preparation for next year's battles. Perhaps in training we will try it.
[t/n: narrator and announcer are voiceovers over video segments in between parts of the interview] Narrator: The quad twist and quad throw can be called strategies of Chinese pair skating. In February 2016, Wenjing Sui and Cong Han successfully completed both quads in a program for the first time. Afterwards, in April, they brought out these elements again at the World Championships. Unfortunately, Wenjing Sui's landing on the quad throw was unsuccessful. In the end, this young pair received the second World silver medal of their career. Those who are familiar with Wenjing Sui all know that behind these two silver medals are years of enduring foot injuries. After returning from Boston, head coach Hongbo Zhao made a decision.
Zhao: Last April, Wenjing Sui underwent surgery on both ankles. The outer ligaments were all broken, and after they broke, they were also persisting injuries. Although they were broken she's still been competing for these past two years. However, for the purpose of the Pyeongchang Olympics, and also the 2022 Olympics, she underwent the surgery.
Narrator: Wenjing Sui recently returned from getting the season's new programs choreographed in Canada. Yesterday afternoon she accepted surgery for her ankles. [t/n: the narrator gives a more detailed description of the injury, but I can't recognize the anatomy.] From what we understand, the surgery was successful, and rehabilitation will require around 4 months.
Wenjing Sui: I was pushed into the operation room, and the moment I received the anesthetic, I felt like my mind was wiped totally blank. Whether or not I could return to figure skating - it was terrifying, I thought about that a lot. This surgery, since it was both ankles, how I would wear my skates in the future was all unknown variables. Not like an arm, or a knee, things that practically have no contact with your skates. Both feet is really a huge risk.
Chen: At the time of Wenjing Sui's surgery, it was probably, to her, a very important point in her life. Then, I think, to a girl, you need to persuade her to accept such an event. At that time, from what I understand, you used your experience from before the Turin Olympics [t/n: Zhao ruptured his Achilles tendon in 2005 and was unable to return to the ice until shortly before the 2006 Olympics], that big surgery, you used that experience to communicate with her. Is that so?
Zhao: At the time, I firstly encouraged her more about the state of mind. You have to accept the reality, after this reality you still can't give up on yourself. How is it, you cannot give up. You just got a World silver medal, so then want an Olympic gold medal even more. So, for people like us, it feels like the sky is falling. You had an accident. Everyone is preparing for the Olympics, that kind of excitement, and then suddenly all turns into nothing. It feels like a disaster. I said, for people like you and me, the damage is too much. We have accidents. Right as you're preparing to compete, if your foot suddenly breaks, then how will you go onto the ice? And then you have rehabilitation, you just have half a year, just 6 months. I said, what we're doing, what you're doing right now, there are steps. There is a schedule. We can weigh the options. Going for this, it is an action that's been prepared for. Cong Han is also a very good partner. Encouraging, supporting.
Cong Han: This was a very long period of time, but also very enriching. Every week, I couldn't visit every day, but every week as much as possible I would go to the hospital to visit her, and give her a little encouragement. I know that I might not be very useful, and her recovery would depend on herself, but I know, in her heart I would be there, I would be a part of it, right? And so I would also feel a bit fulfilled myself. (laughs)
Sui: Good, good. (claps, laughs)
Han: It hasn't been easy. It hasn't been easy. And then, when the time came to return to training, I needed to support her.
Announcer: Now, the last pair of competitors will take the ice, from China, Wenjing Sui and Cong Han. After going through a long period of injury and rehabilitation, this 4CC is their comeback battle.
Sui: I think the entire program, because it tells, it narrates our story, every step is our experience, every step is our mileage. Every motion is a word we want to say. So, I think the entire program is creating the spirit that we had then. Once you've accumulated to a certain extent, you'll naturally let out what you want to say, with prepared language.
Chen: Actually, figure skating competitions are not purely competitions of athleticism. Artistic impact and performance are essential. Wenjing Sui and Cong Han, this year, despite only having competed at 4CC, we feel that this pair has already skated out a sort of 'soul' of figure skating, that's how the audience has evaluated it. What do you think of their improvements on the performance side this year?
Zhao: I think the two silver medals at the World Championships have made this pair of competitors more confident, more daring. They have a background under them, anchoring them. For many Chinese athletes it feels like we're not very open, unlike foreign athletes who, as soon as they step on the ice, there's lots of openness. In figure skating you need that. This year, Wenjing Sui and Cong Han, since they've had the experience of being World silver medalists, achieving that twice, they are very willing to take, they can sink into their performance. This year's programs, when we had Lori choreographing them, we were thinking and being very meticulous. Lori has worked with the Chinese team for many years, an old friend, and she's very familiar with these athletes. So when choosing this year's music, we picked a slower, romantic piece. In terms of technique and performance, from the past few years, there's been lots of improvement, such as comprehension of the music, finesse of movements, including the details of specific phrasing. We've analyzed all of that, taking it apart and working on it. To realize a program, personal interpretation is one aspect, and another aspect is for us to take everything and dissect it. What does this part express? What's your main storyline? You have to show it clearly to us, first make it obvious to the coaches, and then we can make fine adjustments in certain areas. So overall, they can absolutely do difficult elements on the ice, and also get deeper to let the artistry emerge.
Chen: Their feel, this year, looking at their performances, they can really draw the audience in. It's like they're performing a show on the ice. You previously said this line, you said that this season, it's the most difficult season for pair skating. You talked about the injuries for Wenjing Sui and Cong Han. The other subject here is the disassembly and re-pairing of two pairs. I've often, every time I see you on television, the most memorable thing is how this year, you really give the impression that you're much more worn out.
Zhao: There's some pressure. Actually, I gave this pressure to myself. Even two years ago, actually, I was thinking about making some adjustments, but that wasn't implemented the entire time. Then this year, since last year's results at Worlds were not ideal, we want a turnaround. Want Chinese pair skating to stand up once more. You can't possibly place in the tens. You have to go and fight for the top few places in the world. When considering the big picture, then we should make the swap.
Announcer: At the World Championships in April 2016, apart from Wenjing Sui and Cong Han who received a silver medal, the other two Chinese pairs both did not have ideal results. Cheng Peng and Hao Zhang placed 12th; Xuehan Wang and Lei Wang were 15th. Chinese pair skating has long since lost the overall team strength of its peak days. Not long after Worlds ended, head coach Hongbo Zhao announced that two partnerships would be split and re-partnered. Veteran Hao Zhang and World Junior champion Xiaoyu Yu became partners. His original partner, Cheng Peng, was paired with Xiaoyu Yu's partner Yang Jin. This news immediately caused a frenzy among skating fans, with the sounds of questioning and confusion causing division.
Chen: In the beginning, when there were the most questions, I know that on the internet it was widespread and there were all sorts of attacks on you. How did you pass this period?
Zhao: (laughs) I think, for those types of comments, I don't look. A lot of things, I don't need to look at them. Even though there are people talking, I won't. Because this is my job. Of course... Actually, I feel thankful to everyone since everyone is paying more and more attention to figure skating, at a new level. People understand more, and they like it more. You'd only pay so much attention if you really liked it. On the technical side, right now many people can recognize elements, can tell them apart very clearly. And they've given us lots of good suggestions. I think that's a good thing. Thank you everyone for following figure skating like this, for following the athletes like this. Actually, a lot, I wanted more to tell them at the time, encourage the athletes more, since once you're at the venue and the doors close, once the skaters are on the ice, it's only the athletes left. Nobody else can do more at this point. I can't do more either. There are always things like, 'I'm distressed', or sometimes crying, the athletes did go through that for a while during the swap.
Peng: Whenever we speak of April each year, think of April, it's truly something... quite uncomfortable. Last April. Actually, at that time I wasn't mature enough. Now, thinking back, if I could let go of the things in my heart, etc, for brother Jiang [t/n: Yang Jinâs Chinese nickname], and for me, it would have been beneficial.
Yang Jin: Switching partners, for both, was definitely a big mental hurdle. For girls, it might be different from guys, if their mentality isn't good, or they don't feel well, they'd show it. For us males, we would hide it more, since the girls definitely had to endure more things.
Xiaoyu Yu: We were told suddenly, and we had little time for a heavy responsibility then. Within a short while, one month, so many things happened. It gave us all a rough time. Since we had to switch partners, and then finish the choreography and learn the technical elements in Canada, and then prepare for the upcoming season, nobody dared to imagine how we would perform, what kind of growth we would experience, whether it would be good or bad. Nobody dared to imagine.
Zhang: Of course there are a lot of online comments, and we actually do see them too. At that time, the mood, it was not great either, but since they've already made the decision, we, as athletes, have to continue focusing on bringing results, training hard.
Zhao: Moreso, if you don't want to be affected [by the comments], they don't read them anymore.
Chen: That time, the gamble resulted in a favourable outcome. You won the gamble. What if you lost, what would you do? Did you consider that at the time?
Zhao: In my heart, I had confidence. Since I know these athletes, and understand them. Since we are too familiar with this field, with all the athletes, so the way they are now, the way they can be in the future, we have estimates. China needs to build a team, a team of three pairs, and we have the qualifications for it. That year in Vancouver, and in Italy...
Chen: Turin.
Zhao: Turin. We had already built up overall strength in Chinese pair skating.
Chen: Troika. [t/n: troika is a traditional Russian sleigh pulled by three horses. the three 'horses' here are the pairs Shen/Zhao, Pang/Tong, and Zhang/Zhang]
Zhao: Troika. Then, each with their own responsibilities, go all out.
Chen: The troika that we just spoke of, right now, of the original members from those days, only Hao Zhang remains. The athlete Hao Zhang, what do you think about his progress? And where he can improve?
Zhao: Zhang and co, speaking purely of technical elements, they are fairly strong internationally. Then, in terms of performance, there's still a very big gap. Xiaoyu Yu's lines are very elegant, very long, and when you compare Hao Zhang to that, his [lines] are shallower, slower, movements are heavier. Then now, perhaps for the next step in choreography and training, we need to adjust a lot. Part of it is awareness - do you want to win? If you want to be a World champion, then you must change your own awareness. Just completing my training regimen, that's meaningless. You have to, under these conditions, have a stronger desire for victory, to win over your opponents - domestically, mentally, internationally. So every pair, every person, they each have their own viewpoints. And they bounce those ideas with our coaching team. Including Cheng Peng and Yang Jin - this year they've also risen a lot. And after switching partners, Cheng Peng, this year she's skated cleanly multiple times. And with consistency, scores rise. And the two of them, in their performances and their communication with each other, they've reached silent understanding. Cheng Peng's heart has also strengthened a lot. So it's still the same words, those three pairs - I hope they can all qualify to be among the top in the world. This is the echelon for our Chinese pair skating program, the echelon that weâre building, for Pyeongchang and for 2022.
Announcer: Next to skate, from China, Xiaoyu Yu and Hao Zhang.
Narrator: From the pair swap in April 2016 to the 2016 Grand Prix series, after just a few short months of training together, the new pair Xiaoyu Yu and Hao Zhang won the silver medal at Skate Canada and the gold medal at Cup of China, qualifying for the Grand Prix Final, and received a silver medal there. At this yearâs Asian Winter Games, they stood atop the podium with a score of 223.88. The other pair, Cheng Peng and Yang Jin, also qualified for the GPF with their silver medals at Cup of China and NHK Trophy. At this yearâs Asian Winter Games, they were right behind Xiaoyu Yu and Hao Zhang and placed second.
Chen: For the spectators of this sport, the results that we wanted to see have already appeared. But I didnât expect that to happen so quickly, and thought that it would maybe take one season of working together, with the results not appearing until the following season. But really, things meshed together quickly.
Zhao: Thatâs why my hair is much whiter now. (laughs) According to our plans, our expectations, we thought that this year, the year of preparation for war, there would be improvement. We didnât expect that over the entire series of competitions this season, things would go this well. At several competitions they completed their elements well and received very good feedback from the judges, who gave recognition to these re-partnered pairs. You need 2 years to really prepare. The Germans, they prepared for 3 years after the new partnership, 2 or 3 years until emerging.
Chen: 2 years, yes.
Zhao: About 2 years.
Chen: They hadnât competed for 2 years.
Zhao: During those 2 years without competition, they trained. And then they can emerge when and how they want to. For Chinese pairs, we didnât have that time. You canât tell us to leave you for 2 years, because then, youâre competing with the wind. If you want to do that, then you need to have trained adequately. We still havenât practiced enough. I think, if we want to be stronger, if we want 3 shadows of China reaching for the top 3 spots, then itâs necessary to practice to become stronger. Their overall condition right now, their pre-competition conditions, right now thereâs confidence. Preparing to skate, looking at your competitors, you have to negotiate a high price.
Zhang: For us, itâs necessary to keep a good state of mind, strengthen oneâs resolve. Also, resting well, adjusting well. Making ample preparations for the World Championships.
Yu: A big competition should bring nervousness, but this time I feel relaxed. Perhaps itâs because my performance in practice is in the right place, so I have more confidence in myself. So now, I think as long as a good performance can be brought out - keeping a calm mentality, and then being able to display our hard work at this closing battle of the World Championships - then Iâm satisfied.
Han: Dare to think, dare to do. The gold medal isnât something that, as before, I might not have be bold enough to imagine, but now I can dare to think, dare to do.
Sui: As long as we skate at our usual level, then we only need to defeat ourselves. Weâre not overthinking it. As long as we can surpass ourselves every time, every day - maybe some things become direct milestones, where we can gain something, but thatâs incidental. We only need to be our best selves.
Narrator: The 2017 World Figure Skating Championships. China is sending 2 teams for the pairs discipline - 2-time, 2015-16 World silver medalists Wenjing Sui and Cong Han, and 2016-17 GPF silver medalists Xiaoyu Yu and Hao Zhang - and striving for 3 spots for the Pyeongchang Olympics. This is also the discipline where China has the best shot at a gold medal. In ladiesâ singles, 14th-place finisher in Sochi, Zijun Li, and 11th-place finisher at the 2017 WJC, Xiangning Li, will work hard and fight for Olympic spots. In menâs singles, 7th-place finisher in Sochi, Han Yan, will be absent due to shoulder injuries. 2016 World bronze medalist, young quadster Boyang Jin, will be our sole representative charging into a ring of strong competition.
[caption: World Figure Skating Championships
team China, go all out]
So on the topic of boyang..... There was this chinese commentator who said that the reason why boyang didn't get gold was because the announcer introduced him as Boyang "Yinâ (é¶=silver), as opposed to his real name Boyang "Jin" (pun on the chinese char for é=gold)
boyang tong, éćæŽ, tbh. hopefully he can become an international éćæŽ one day.
03-14-2017 han yanâs weibo: in 6 days my arm was dislocated 3 times, because of takeoffs for quads. the pain in 3 revolutions is unbearable. this time i really canât move anymore. i tried my best.
han is currently still on the entry list for worlds 2017, which will be from march 29 to april 4.
03-22-2017: perhaps on the 7th, i fractured my shoulder, which led to the second and third dislocations, since it wasnât stuck, really thought, ok, gamble on training, barely did anything and arm fell off again, every day in training i grit my teeth in pain, really canât hold on anymore, iâve tried my best⊠think itâs time to rest a littleâŠ
03-24-2017: thank you [federation] leaders for support in encouraging such a quick arrangement of the surgery and following rehabilitationâŠ.thank you coach li, dongsen, and qing [pang] for staying with me through my stubbornness and in the end inability to hold onâŠâŠhospitalization on monday, surgery on tuesdayâŠfinally will be rid of the days where pain prevented sleep and made my teeth itchâŠ. thinking about it thereâs a bit of excitement and nervousnessâŠâŠ
han has withdrawn from worlds, and boyang jin will be chinaâs only worlds entry for men. best wishes to han for a successful surgery and speedy recovery!
Big People - Zijun Li: Growing and training alone, jumping until heaven falls and earth cracks. Article & video published on QQ Sports on 25 Feb 2017 (article translation below).
(t/n: Zijunâs given name is used in place of her full name for simplicity, as well as to differentiate from her mother and unrelated former coach Mingzhu Li, who both have the same family name.)
After the short program at the [2017] Asian Winter Games, standing before the camera, Zijun Li opens her mouth several times unable to make a sound.
âI am very disappointed with my placement.â Zijunâs dissatisfaction with her performance is written all over her helpless face. Despite originally choosing an easier combination jump for stability, points were still lost due to underrotation. As a favourite to win at the Asian Winter Games, Zijunâs first showing was unsatisfactory.
Going back to the Four Continents Championships a week ago, she accidentally fell and hit her head in practice, and after her ending pose on one knee, could not stand up for a while to thank the audience. While waiting for the results, the girl who is usually playful in front of the camera had an emotional outbreak, falling into her coachâs arms and bursting into tears. After the competition, Zijun told everyone that her legs were shaking on the ice, that the veteran felt an inexplicable tension.
What was she worried about? From the former prodigy to the current rising star, she has grown accustomed to a dialogue with loneliness, used to growing alone through dull training, but she knows that she has passed the age of being wayward, and now values every chance to be on the ice. She doesnât want to let breakthrough become only a slogan, doesnât want to lose herself again.
âOnly for a song, blood dyed a lonely red; only for a dream, broke the mountains and rivers; only for a heart, loved and only met before separation.â These lyrics come from Zijunâs free skate music, âOnly for Loveâ. Now, they also represent her state of mind. She thanks all the years where she did not easily give up, for loving yourself requires unconditional investment. Jumping again and again, she has already seen the storms of life.
Growing and training alone, jumping until heaven falls and earth cracks
At 9 AM, on the streets of snowy St.Petersburg, the sky is still dark. Wearing a black down jacket and carrying her skates, Zijun walks quickly, the red âCHINAâ on her slender back standing out. At her side, a Russian man seems to tell her something, talking as they walk, following her the entire way. Her features reveal a trace of confusion and anxiety and she quickens her pace, almost jogging the rest of the way⊠a few minutes later, she finally arrives at her destination, Running through the doors of the rink, Zijunâs expression evidently relaxes, smiling as she greets the people she meets in English and occasionally speaking a few words in Russian.
This is her 56th day in St. Petersburg.
As the top Chinese ladiesâ figure skater, 8 years since her debut, Zijunâs charming appearance, slender figure, and elegant movements have been well received with insidersâ praise and fansâ love. To further improve the level of her skating, the Chinese National Team arranged for Zijun to spend 2 months training abroad in St. Petersburg, under the tutelage of the coach of Russian âIce Czarâ Plushenko, the world-renowned figure skating coach Alexei Mishin.
In Russia, the days are exhausting and monotonous. Most times, a day includes 4 sessions of training off ice and 2 sessions on ice, often âtraining from dawn to dusk.â The type of âfrighteningâ on the streets has also become commonplace. âDue to the language barrier, I donât know what theyâre saying, and itâs really quite scary.â A young girl on the streets encountering older men, she usually chooses the method of âignore, then walk fasterâ.
âCompared to all the jumps and turns [I experience] on land, I suddenly feel like the ice is something that makes me feel happy and gratefulâŠâ Zijun keeps a notebook specially for recording the state of her daily training. Now, this notebook is nearly full, with careful documentation of each jump and rotation on the ice. âOnce, after leaving the rink, I checked my notebook. An on ice session not including runthrough with music had a total of 65 triple-triples and lutzes⊠do you want to experience the ascension to the afterlife? Try his training method.â Joking through the bitterness, Zijun says she has âtrained herself silly, and often canât find where her waist and legs are.â
But compared to the training overload, her inner loneliness is more frightening. Mishinâs team is almost entirely composed of Russian girls with blond hair and high noses, with Zijun being the one that sticks out. And with the language barrier, her rinkmates not knowing English, she also has no way of joining the conversations and laughter of their âlittle groupsâ. She would rather train alone in the hallways away from the rink, thinking about the dayâs training content and plans.
With heavy snow outside the window, under the dim light, her thin silhouette on the wall looks silent and lonely. Many times, she only has herself for conversation.
From the 12-year-old who journeyed alone to the US to the competitor travelling throughout different continents, Zijunâs talent for languages has always been her pride. When training in the US or Canada, basic necessities were managed by herself, but this time, in a non-English country, she feels like she âcannot handle itâ.
On the first trip to the supermarket in -20°C weather, both hands carrying a large bag, she stood in the snow for over 2 hours unable to find transportation. The passerby she tried to ask for help from could not speak English, until a kind-hearted Russian youth helped her call a taxi to return to her hotel. Afterward, she learned to download the app for calling taxis, learned basic Russian words⊠but it was still not easy to go out, because the experience was too painful and left an impression.
Lu Chen, the only Chinese singles skater who has won an Olympic medal, has always believed in such a phrase â âto reach the peak, one must bear the lonelinessâ. As the âheir to Lu Chenâ, Zijun also feels the impact of this phrase deeply. Since the days of the 14-year-old who defeated Liu Yan to win the national championship, becoming âsister no.1â of Chinese ladiesâ singles figure skating, she has been experiencing this kind of life for 7 years.
Zijun Li and Russian rinkmate
Thankfully, the people at Mishinâs club are all very friendly to her, and coach Mishin is especially fond of this âporcelain dollâ from China. Not only helping her find a hotel to stay in, but also bringing eggs from home to give to her for nutrition. âYou need to eat more good things, only a strong body has the energy to jump,â are the words that coach Mishin most often tells her.
Donât be fooled by Mishinâs appearance of a kindly Santa Claus, the training regimens he creates are not gentle in the least.
Mishin once said: âthe coaches of ladiesâ singles skaters have the most dangerous job in the world, because you donât know what will happen next, there are so many possibilities.â
âFemales are fragile material, many factors can affect their results, moods, and feelings in competition. Some very subtle things can also affect them. In addition, for most girls the changes from puberty are difficult to resist.â However, Zijunâs talent and hard work won the favour of this figure skating godfather. Wherever he goes, coach Mishin doesnât forget to text her to ask about her training.
Coach Mishinâs âIf you canât hold on anymore, cry in my arms, once you stop crying start anewâ text remains saved in Zijunâs phone. Whenever she is about to give up, she takes it out to read.
As âfrom dawn to duskâ, âturning until everything is dark, jumping until heaven falls and earth cracksâ⊠has become the norm, there is only one motivation allowing her to persevere: âthe persistence to your dreamsâ.
All the sacrifices will eventually pay off. On her 20th day in St.Petersburg, her lutz and flip could finally coexist on the same ice; on her 24th day, she weighed 42.9 kg, a weight she hadnât had since puberty, âa new level of thinââŠ
Watch American dramas to learn English, learn to make dumplings on birthday
âFinally dinnertime after a day of training⊠what to eat tonight, whichever letter looks good, Iâll choose it.â she shows a Russian menu.
Russian food is monotonous and difficult to swallow, and her budget for food is limited, so she must learn to cook for herself. On December 14th, her 21st birthday, Zijun tried to make dumplings for the first time. Upon her first bite, the emotions almost brought her to tears.
This birthday, making dumplings for the first time
Apart from travel and food, she also had to face moving continually. The hotel that coach Mishin found for her only had one room with a kitchen. When other guests booked the room, she had to move out, stay in another room, and after they left, she would move back in. As a result, the place where she has lived for two months has few traces of her habitation. âYesterday I just moved back, this is already the 4th time. It canât be helped, since the amount we pay isnât enough for this room, so if it gets booked I must move.â Her words carry the indifference of someone who has been through hardship.
Of course, apart from hardship, there are also things that bring her happiness, such as learning a new move, such as succeeding on all of a dayâs triples⊠Every time this occurs, she treats herself to an ice cream. âI love eating ice cream the most in the winter, especially on snowy days.â Laughing, she takes small bites of the ice cream in her hands, happiness written all over her face.
Outside of the rink, in her daily life in St. Petersburg, Zijun mostly stays in her room, drawing, listening to music, watching American shows. Lying under the covers and watching shows is the most comfortable part of her daily routine. âRest is one factor, 90% of my English was learned through watching shows. [I have to] know English and be to hold conversations, or else after this many years, I would really become mute.â Her favourite shows are TV dramas about school youth, such as âThe Vampire Diariesâ and âPretty Little Liarsâ. As a professional athlete, she cannot experience school life in the way that most people of her age do. This loss of feeling is often just made up for through film.
Self-confidence, openness, bravery, thoughtfulness, these marks of someone with over 90 years all show themselves vividly on Zijun. In her free time, she goes on Weibo, chats with her friends, shows her smiles and happiness instead of bringing up the bitterness behind her. In this way, she wants to tell the friends and family in China who care about her that sheâs doing well.
After years adrift, a burden weighing on one back
After the days of âbutterfly on iceâ Lu Chen, ladiesâ singles skating in China sank into a period of drought. Although new faces showed themselves during this time, none were able to maintain the spotlight, especially on the artistic front. When Zijun came onto the scene, things began to change. The names of âskating prodigyâ, âfirst sister of ladiesâ singlesâ, âgoddess on iceâ⊠became the weights that 14-year-old Zijun had to carry on her back.
Zijun Li, quirky from a young age
Zijunâs fame was a product of the times. Since her debut, her grip on the top spot in Chinese ladiesâ singles skating has never loosened. Despite still having a sizeable difference in level compared to the worldâs top athletes, within the country no ladiesâ singles skater has the abilities to challenge her. At each yearâs World Championships, only Zijun has the strength to keep striving for a medal, in all these years, she has never found someone to share this burden with.
On the inside, she is suffering too. Results have yet to show substantial progress, breakthrough is still only a motto, yelled out again and again, becoming more confused and overwhelmed. And then there are the difficulties of physical changes in puberty and the issue of finding a long-term coach.
Zijun is not the type of athlete who develops muscle well, weight gain will bring her more evident changes, so in previous years coach Mingzhu Li controlled this aspect very strictly, with random weighings each day, accurate to two decimal places. Sometimes, never mind eating, even drinking too much water would be a luxury.
âWeight control is easier said than done. For a long time, she wouldnât eat proper meals, didnât even drink enough water. Sometimes, when she was so thirsty she couldnât stand it, she would rinse her mouth with water and then spit it out,â said her mom, Chunyan Li. She would be able to bear it for a day or two, but they lived that way for about a year. Daughter unable to eat, she would go hungry as well. Sometimes, mother and daughter both kept awake by hunger at night, in neighbouring beds listening to each otherâs stomachs growling, gathering strength and encouragement from each other.
The bitterness of weight control, the intense training, and the high expectations of her coach caused Zijun to cry âIâm not doing this anymoreâ daily during her ârebellious phaseâ, yet each morning she would pick up her skates and head back to the rink.
Depression, pressure, and irritation, in addition to exhaustion from training, quickly built up and Zijun fell ill. Continuous fevers and allergy symptoms led her mother to take her to the hospital nearly every day. âThat was a period of âone issue cured today, another symptom pops up tomorrowâ, for several days she couldnât fall sleep all night, and I was thinking, what happened to my girl?â However, even when she returned to Changchun for treatment, her coach did not completely stop the training, persisting to get her on the ice.
If weight can be said to be a manageable issue, then the real source of unrest for Zijun would be the problem of coaching that has yet to be solved. In the year after the contract with coach Mingzhu Li expired, Zijun first trained with famed American coach Frank Carroll in California, then with choreographer Lori Nichol in Canada. Since last November, she then went under the tutelage of Mishin. Each coach could only accompany her for a few months, and without systematic training, Li had to become familiar with all kinds of different ideologies and methods. This often made it difficult for her to feel at ease. âThe entire time, I havenât been able to find a steady coach, and that might be what I need most right now.â
However, the past yearâs grind let a young girlâs weak heart gradually grow stong. âActually, with the frustration of this past while, I finally understood the things I want for myself, understood what was important to me, because there is a kind of belief that has supported me along my path. Now, Iâve become a person of steel.â
âSkating is truly my passion, but I also see it as a responsibility.â Reaching toward the sun with both hands, she writes: âWhere the is shadow, there must also be lightâŠâ
Behind the brutal questioning, a consistent persistence
In February 2015, at the Four Continents Championships in Seoul, the arena was filled with thunderous applause after a performance to âMoon Riverâ.
Takeoffs, turns, gestures, glides⊠Zijun carefully completed the 12 required elements, not perfectly, but without major errors. In a bit over 2 years, struggling with puberty in an almost cruel way, her efforts finally paid off. After the competition, she experienced catharsis from her pressures, hiding her tearful face. First, she bowed deeply to the audience, and then hugged her coach at the rinkside, crying.
The tears stained her makeup.
She was not the only one who teared up. Watching her performance, CCTV5 commentator Ying Chen said: âAs the only ladiesâ singles skater that our country really can present, a bad skate will lead to so much questioning. Even with a selfie posted on Weibo, there will be many comments saying âwhy arenât you training properly, so vainâ. In fact, isnât that the personality that a strong performer should have?â
Too many eyes and expectations have gathered on Zijun. And because of these expectations, she has experienced mountains of adoring fans and disapproving questioners alike. Zijun enjoys sharing bits of her life on social media, often sharing some inspirational words, but is always accused of not training properly or wanting to play too much. She hopes to show a side of herself that is kind and happy, while the attention placed on achieving high and the frustrations of being unable to break through are revealed to few.
Without results to return to the expectations of the public, this is the struggle hidden beneath Zijunâs beautiful face. 20 years old is not young for a ladiesâ singles skater. In Russia, those over 20 have practically all retired from this discipline, and âETâ, Elizaveta Tuktamisheva, who is the same age as Zijun, is known as the âveteranâ in Mishinâs team. Even so, there are coaches who tell her, âYou are still young, move little by little, there is still hope in the future.â Whenever she hears these words, Zijun will think, wronged, âI am not young, it is only my doll-like Asian face that seems so.â
She knows, if she wants recognition, she needs to prove herself as soon as possible, even just once. It could be at the Asian Winter Games in Sapporo, or the World Championships in Finland, or next yearâs Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang.
In the two months of training in Russia, Mishin has changed almost all the jumping passes in Zijunâs free program, significantly increasing the difficulty. Although her consistency is still not high, she did not reject the changes he made. Because she knows that the Pyeongchang Olympics are less than a year away, and if she doesnât fight now, there may not be another chance.
During interviews, journalists asked her what her goals for the Asian Winter Games were. Zijun, who was smiling sweetly, suddenly put her smile away and replied, âStrive for the top three, and then fight a bit more for higher spots. Japan, Korea, and Kazakhstan all have strong skaters, but if I put my best self out there, I can reach the podium.â
For the expectations of others, and for the efforts put forth by herself, this time, Zijun will be ruthless.
Conclusion
On the eve of Lunar New Year in 2017, Zijun and her mother buy groceries at the supermarket. She suddenly stops at a counter of fried chicken, looking at the different flavours of chicken through the window. Turning her head, she asks the reporter, âDo you know what my biggest wish in life is?â The reporter shakes their head, not knowing. Zijun smiles playfully and says, âItâs to open a supermarket! Supermarkets have all kinds of delicious food and drinks, and I can open my stomach to eat whatever I want.â
Hearing these words, her mother also replies: âYes. Since she was young, her dream has been to open a supermarket. When we went to the US together before, the sight of Costco would maker her happiness bloom like a flower. She said she wanted to open a store like Costco, because they had the biggest packages of food.â
Zijun smiles. âThat reminds me, maybe it can be my New Yearâs wish this year!â
