i'm still sane

"As long as you put your trust in me, I'll get us out of here. I promise"

[encontrole-blog]

“Style? What’s this style you speak of? Could I pick it up somewhere? Do they sell it where they sell your endless supply of fish?”

[milwyr]

“Style? With my fish? You have seen my fish right?”

[encontrole-blog]

Kaidan grins at his old friend, even as she hits him. It’s almost the way it used to be. Mercilessly teasing each other, manipulating for reactions. For a moment, Kaidan doesn’t feel his 35. He feels like the kid who used to tug on Jules’ ponytail for her attention, who would throw his legs in her lap without fanfare, who would sneak up on her and yell close to her ear before being chased to screams of her own. It’s… a great feeling. “Really? Well, this will be a treat then.”

He watches her as she toys with the scissors, points him to the chair. For a moment, anxiety rolls in his stomach. Nothing to do with her, of course. But that kind of nervousness one feels before a haircut when comfortable with one’s hair. He sits down, takes a breath. It’s just a haircut. Maybe this hadn’t been the best time to remember being a kid. Adults should be able to handle a small haircut. She’ll do fine.

Her touch relaxes him, hands gentle on his shoulders. He snorts at her words, tipping his head back against her to give her his most skeptical look. “Well, most people must not know the Great Commander Shepard like I do. She’s usually kindhearted with me.” He straightens again, toys with his BDUs. “I think someone is selling her a bit short.”

[milwyr]

“Someone usually is, but in this case they’re right. I’m definitely not kindhearted. Or if I was I’m not anymore.” She gives one of his curls an experimental tug, and tilts her head to the side. Taking in his face, she brushes her fingers over his jaw and forces him to tilt his head this way and that. Humming softly, she pulls on another piece of hair and squints at it. Nothing too drastic, she decides quickly. Just a trim to keep the curls from exploding everywhere like they had when they were kids. 

Reaching for her comb, she drags it through the major’s hair and stares at down at the gathered locks for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she takes the first snip and watches as the hair falls to the ground. Lips twitching at herself in amusement, she repeats the movements. Every so often she brushes her knuckle against Kaidan’s cheek. Finding a knot in his hair, she set both comb and scissors down and worked at it slowly with her fingers. 

“Do you remember that god awful haircut your mother gave you in seventh grade?” Laughter bubbles to life in her chest, and she can’t help the smile that slides across her face at the memory of it. Shaking her head, she finally worked the knot free and reached for her comb again. Taking a moment, she looked up at him, and laughed again. “I thought you were going to go school with a bag over your head the next day. But you didn’t. I’m not sure what was funnier, you knocking Harrison on his ass or you threatening to kiss me if I called you any names.”

[encontrole-blog]

“Yeah? So if I… pulled you a little closer… you wouldn’t say anything?”

[milwyr]

“Not a single thing. Unless you did it with style, then I’d have to vocalize my approval.”

[encontrole-blog]

“Well… almost everything. I don’t regret that. In fact, I could do that again.”

[milwyr]

“You wouldn’t hear me complaining.”

[encontrole-blog]

“Must be nice. Meanwhile I sit here regretting everything.”

[milwyr]

“Really? Everything? Including kissing me in the mess hall this morning?”

[sniperbec-blog]

“Would have never considered that to be true. Seems like somethin’s always goin’ wrong, wherever I look.” Bec chuckled. Seemed to always be the case she noticed. 

She grinned, looking down at the commander from the corner of her eye. “Will do, commander.” Bec replied. Knowing how things usually went for her, she’d be the one carrying the step ladder for Shepard. “Wouldn’ dream of it. I’ve seen what its like to be on your bad side, on the news.”

[milwyr]

She grunted and lowered her gaze back to where she was walking. She had forgotten that the news vids showed a little more of her bad side to the galaxy than she would have liked. But then again, walking into a diplomatic meeting knowing that the others had seen her walk through a firestorm and come out in one piece certainly worked to her advantage. Forcing a smile to her face, she lifted a shoulder in a good natured shrug. “And they don’t show the really bad parts. You should see me when I’m really pissed. The crew  heads planetside when I’m in a mood.”

[milwyr]

“I regret nothing.”

[officer-reynolds]

Tanil stopped struggling, her bonds now being too secure by Shepard, preventing her escape from the sexual clutches of the commander. She grinned, liking that thought, Jules’ fallen hair tickling her cheek. 

A shiver ran down her at the breath against her ear, light and tickling as Jules whispered the words into her ear. Her head tilted, following the trail of her lover’s lips from her ear to her jaw, a soft moan escaping her lips. A grin dared play itself against Tanil’s own, her eyes playfully eyeing Jules. “Not as good as other things I’ve tasted.” She purred back, sticking her tongue out a little at the commander.

[milwyr]

Pulling away a few inches, the commander tilted her head to the side and raised a slow eyebrow at the taller woman. Lips pulling away from her teeth, she leaned in an gently bit her lover’s tongue, giving it a good suck before she completely pulled away. “You do that again and I won’t be so nice.”

Shifting again Tanil, she ran her nails gently over the woman’s skin, her grip loosening ever so slightly as she did. Wiggling her hips against her partner’s torso she hummed thoughtfully to herself. “Cheeky. You’re extremely lucky I happen to like that, Officer Reynolds. Otherwise I might have started running in the other direction.” Leaning back in, she pressed a kiss to the taller woman’s mouth, her lips working slowly, teasing the other.

[sniperbec-blog]

The walk to Purgatory felt like a long one, although in truth the place really wasn’t that far. Luckily for them both, Bec sucked at small talk to help burn time. The fact that she was walking with Shepard certainly didn’t help.

“You get off duty sometimes?” Bec chuckled, nervously adjusting the rifle on her shoulder. It took her a moment to realize she was doing it rather excessively, and quickly dropped her hand back to her side. “How many times you gone and saved the galaxy so far, I didn’ think you did.” She shook her head. “I ain’t use to walkin’ with important people, especially those who don’t plan on bitin’ my head off.” 

A grin found its way to her lips. “Especially from way down there.” She joked, looking down at the short commander.

[milwyr]

“Only sometimes.” She finally let her gaze slip from the other. In the back of her mind she could feel herself relax. The other was clearly too nervous to be a threat, and there was something about the woman that made her inclined to trust her. Whether that got her ass handed to her or not she’d have to wait and find out. “Thankfully the galaxy only needs saving every once in a while.”

Snorting, the commander stuck her hand back into her pocket and tilted her head up to the look at the sniper. “As long as you don’t mention my constant need for a step ladder, or use my head as an arm rest I promise not to consider biting your head off. Once the jokes start then we’ll need to have another talk.”

[officer-reynolds]

The familiar voice made Delmira jump, not only that but the fact that the voice was screaming out her father’s name. The tears she had held came pouring out all at once as she caught sight of the woman. Her arms outstretched just as Jules embraced her. The nurse that had been watching her nearly jumped at astonishment, but didn’t say a word.

Del’s whole body shook and she buried her face into Jules’ shoulder as she cried, her muffled voice coming out in hiccups. The commander’s uniform crinkling beneath Del’s fingers as she held on tightly. Despite Jules’ questions, Del remained silent, unable to find her voice as she cried.

Thankfully, the nurse spoke up. “Um… Officer Reyonlds is in surgery at the moment, ma’am.” She cleared her throat nervously. “She sustained some wounds and is being treated right now. Unfortunately, it was fairly substantial, she may be in surgery for quite some time.” She nervously held a datapad in her hand, unsure of what else to tell the commander with the poor crying girl present. 

Del shook, her grip on Jules only tightening at the sound. “Dad was bleeding a lot.” she mumbled.

[milwyr]

“It’s okay, baby, I’m here. I’m here now.” One hand pressed to the back of the young asari’s head, the commander dug er fingers into Delmira’s back and pulled her close. Her breathing was unsteady and shaky, but she fought back the tears as best as she could for Tanil’s daughter. She knelt there, holding onto the girl for several long moments, reassuring her as best as eh could before she looked up at the nurse. 

Her mind worked trying to put everything she was being told into it’s proper place. She had heard everything before, she had seen almost every kind of casualty before, it was a side effect of being a soldier. But hearing it used to describe her lover was something else entirely. It didn’t make sense. Tanil was never wounded. Tanil never needed surgery.  Trying to pair that with the woman she loved was impossible.

Readjusting her grip on Del, she looked away from the nurse after dismissing her with a nod. “It’s okay, baby. Your Da’s gonna be fine. I promise. Okay. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to either of you ever again. I promise.”

[officer-reynolds]

The bowl clattered to the floor, its contents scattered as circular fruit rolled their way to freedom. Tanil turned her head to the side of the bed, sighing as she realized there was no chance to save the befallen bowl. Still, she giggled looking back up at Jules. She did a little wiggle, enjoying the view as well as how snug she was beneath the commander.

“I was hoping so.” Tanil replied, sticking her tongue out at Jules, squirming a little more to test how securely pinned she was. At the statement, Tanil licked her lips, savoring the lingering strawberry taste. “What about it? It was delicious, and I didn’t quite see your name on it.” She peered up at the woman, daring her to make a move.

[milwyr]

Her long fingers circled tighter around Tanil’s arms, refusing to let the taller woman move beneath her.  Eyes narrowed teasingly, the woman pressed her knees to the officer’s sides and leaned over the other causing her hair to slip over her shoulder and brush against her lover’s cheek. She watched as the other licked her lips, her own curling in a faint snarl of frustration.

Bending her head, Juliette pressed her lips to the curve of Tanil’s ear, the snarl dropped from her face to be replaced by a faint smirk. Voice low, she purred, “I hope the strawberry tasted as good as it looked.” Slowly, she dragged her lips down the shell of the taller woman’s ear towards her jaw. “Because you’re only going to have another second to enjoy it.”

[encontrole-blog]

Kaidan watches her fiddle with her things. He recognizes some of them. Bits and pieces of adventures from then they were young. Before… He stops himself there. He knows they’ve both gotten past that day close to twenty years ago. But it’s hard to forget such a turning point in his life. Something that shaped his development and relationships until the SR-1. He’s relieved she still has them, all these years later. And he’s happy to see more recent artifacts of their relationship mixed in, too.

He sees little glimpses of the girl who used to follow him around when they were little. The way she looks at him through her hair, hiding her face as much as possible to keep him from seeing her expression. Those were his favorite times to make her laugh. Or blush. And it still works. She shows her face again and he sees the pink in her cheeks and the smile on her face. No matter how small it is. It’s still a smile.

“Oh yeah?” Some part of him highly doubts that. Most times he can tell when she’s lying. Mostly the smaller lies. But he also doesn’t want to deny her. They’re finally back together, back on the same page for the first time in a… in a long time for him. In no time for her. It’s hard not to let the guilt gnaw at him for that one. They’re okay now. He doesn’t want to waste any more time away from his best friend if he can help it. “Sure. Why not. I’d love to see how terrible you are at this.”

[milwyr]

“Rude!” She lightly slaps his shoulder with the back of her hand, her face falling into a mock scowl. It’s so easy, probably way too easy, to pick up the teasing and the banter as if the past three years haven’t happened. Once more she has a best friend, someone she can run to when she needs someone to rescrew her head back into place and clear out the bad thoughts. I’ll have you know I’m decent at cutting hair.”

Pushing her hair out of her face, she moves past him and into the bathroom. Opening the top drawer of the counter, she pulls out the scissors she keeps there and turns back to face him. Fingers threaded through the handles, she gives them an experimental snip.  One eyebrow raised at the major, she gestures towards her desk chair.  Setting the scissors down, she grabs one of her towels from the bookshelf where she had thrown it earlier. 

“You know most people would see this as the chance of a lifetime.” Her voice is light as she gently tugs the towel around Kaidan’s shoulders, her gaze firmly fixed to the top of his head. Smoothing th towel over his chest and shoulders, she offered the man a smile. “After all, the Great Commander Shepard’s never this kindhearted.”

[encontrole-blog]

“Yeah… that’s true. I remember my mom giving you looks every time you said it, too.” His mother wasn’t a fan of the teenagers throwing around curse words under her roof. But his father had joined Shepard half the time. “I know. Won’t keep me from pretending to be burt every time you say it, though.”

[milwyr]

“It’s a good thing your mom loved me.” Running a hand through her thick hair in a desperate attempt to tame it, she let herself laugh one more time. Looking down at the ground, she paused and cleared her throat. “I’ll try not to hurt your male ego.”

[officer-reynolds]

“Mhmm.” Tanil smiles, eating her strawberry as she faked disinterest in Jules. She took the glass of water, placing it on the side table so it wouldn’t spill. “Is that all you want to do with your shore leave, not that I’m opposed to that.” She says, grabbing another strawberry from the bowl.

Tanil’s brow arches curiously, glancing at the woman from the corner of her eyes, the new strawberry in her hand, close to being eaten. She leans back, holding the strawberry up as she leans over Jules’s laying form. “Just a kiss?” She asks, taking a spiteful munch of the strawberry as she gives the woman a defiant gaze. 

[milwyr]

“That’s close to all.” She replies, her eyes drifting to the bowl of fruit where Tanil’s fingers are travelling. Wiggling, she pushes her side against the officer’s and bats her eyelashes hoping to incite the other closer. Humming softly, she watches the other woman and the strawberry, lips parting as she readies herself to take the strawberry.

But it never arrives, and she’s instead forced to watch the other take a bite out of the fruit. A noise of frustration leaves her, and she scowls up at the taller woman. “You are so going to regret that.” With one smooth motion, the commander had her leg around Tanil and was pushing her down to the bed. Hands wrapping themselves around her lover’s forearms she pinned the other firmly beneath her.  “...So. About my strawberry that you just ate.”

[encontrole-blog]

“Apologize? For what?           Jules… if anyone should be apologizing for anything, it’s me.”

[milwyr]

“There were... things I said that I still think about.           Things I shouldn’t have said.. Whether or not you were actually there to hear them.”

[sniperbec-blog]

Bec’s hand lowered, relaxing from the salute. Here she was trying to seem all professional and act accordingly, but, even if this was the Shepard, that wasn’t the case. “Sorry ma’-… Shepard.” She corrected. “Force of habit.” She shook her head, there was no need to explain herself, not really anyways. 

She motioned her hand forward, directing Shepard to follow her to the nearest bar. “I promise… but I can’t promise that I won’.. slip up. Just somethin’ I’m use to doin’, ma’-Shepard.” She adjusted her rifle on her shoulder and began to walk. “Feel like I’m still on duty, but I forget sometimes.”

[milwyr]

Laughing softly, the commander fell into step beside the other woman with ease. She watched the other from the corner of her eye, her friendly smile still firmly in place on her face. She wouldn’t call interacting with others easy, but there was something about it that wasn’t as hard as she remembered it once being. Maybe it was all the practice she had done in the past few months.

“I’m the same way. Even when I’m off duty, I’m still working.” Humming softly, Juliette pulled a hand out of her pockets and rubbed the side of her neck. “Just relax. I’m not going to bite your head off. At least I have no plans to.”

[officer-reynolds]

There were no tears, not one, but it was obvious she was using all her strength to hold them back. Despite the unbearable pain in her shoulder, Tanil couldn’t help but smile weakly at Del’s tenacity. 

Huerta was packed, hundreds of people having been injured during Cerberus’s attack on the Citadel. Delmira was thankfully spared any gunfire when she was taken to a panic shelter for most of the residents, Tanil however wasn’t so lucky. Being caught at HQ when Cerberus arrived made her take a few bullets to her shoulder, thus leading her to the hospital as soon as things settled. A patch of medigel wasn’t enough to ease the pain or the blood that seeped through her crude bandage she had made. 

So there they were, sitting in the lobby area, Tanil clutching her shoulder in pain, her skin having lost most of its color from blood loss, and Del glued to her hip in fear for her father. 

“Ms. Reynolds.” Tanil looked up, her face distorted in pain as she looked at the nurse that finally approached them. “The surgery room is ready for you now. If you can come with me please.” 

Tanil turned to look at Del, the tears on the brim of her eyes, threatening to fall. “I’ll be okay. I’ll be right back.” she whispered, her voice weak with strain. “Just wait here.” She slowly stood up, keeping her hand pressed against her wound as she slowly stood. “Keep an eye on her for me.” She told the nurse. The nurse nodded, waving for some help, a few other nurses quickly coming to help Tanil into the surgery room.

@milwyr

[milwyr]

She had been returning to the Normandy when she had received the news. The wide eyed stare she had given the C-Sec officer had lasted far too long, but the moment the news had properly sunken in she was running. Feet pounding against the once pristine Citadel flooring, she fought back the tears. Why hadn’t she thought about checking in with Tanil before she left? Sure she was going to be back in a week, but she should have known better.

By the time she had turned the corner to Huerta the commander was gasping for breath, her chest heaving with the effort of sprinting from the docking bay to the hospital. People turned to look at her, murmuring as she stumbled out of the elevator. A few were even pointing. But she ignored them all and frantically scanned the crowd for her lover. 

“Tanil!” She nearly screamed the other’s name, the panic in her chest growing with every moment that she couldn’t find her. “Tanil!”

Twisting and turning on the spot, she searched for anything familiar. When it finally came it wasn’t in the form she had been expecting it. Her wide panic filled eyes caught Delmira’s, and a shaky sob left her. Hurrying over to the young asari she quickly dropped to her knees and pulled the other into a tight embrace. “Del! Honey, are you okay?! Where’s your father?! Is she okay?! Are you?!”