I AM FINALLY FREE and i can appreciate the kweens birthday. ofc i was a good housewife and sent my workingwife a birthday message, but she still deserves appreciation so I have comprised a few carol memes i found on twitter that accurately depict our everyday struggles....
love ya honey @sponsoredbymqrvel 🥲❤ now send me a bottle of vodka - clean
why scarlett johansson could be a possible genocidal genius BUT also a respected cult leader.
⚠️BEFORE YOU READ⚠️
this is a joke, the whole lot of it. none of it is true, i dont mean this at all, its all just for a laugh and a bit of fun!
so we all know that ms scarlett johansson, found all of our edits and didnt seem too pleased with them.
well, what if, she actually has an edit account of her own that she uses to make friends with other black widow/scarjo edit accounts?
everyone knows the best way to sabotage an organisation, is from the inside.
become one of them.
i am positive scarlett has an edit account.
at her home, she also has a small, dimly lit room that she uses for her "investigations".
there is a white board on one of the walls that has all the edit accounts usernames of the friends shes made with red lines and circles, connecting all the different information she has attained over the past few weeks.
i imagine scarlett also has a big, brown boss chair and a huge oak wood table with a single lap, a notebook and pen on it.
she would sit on the chair whilst she studies the edits on her laptop with her white cat, alexi on her lap.
by night, scarlett johansson is the religious leader of the cult, "Avenged Widows", her trusted assistants, florence and hailee are always by her sides, helping out with the rituals.
they are constantly recruiting new members to join, and successfully have taken over 400 widows on board the cult.
tom holland, chris evans, sebastian stan, elizabeth olsen and jeremy renner are just a few familiar faces who have willingly joined.
they wear dark hooded cloaks made from fine silk that cover their faces, belts with the black widow symbol on them, widow bites and chained necklaces to complete the eerie look.
each night they lure their pray (the edit creators) with the promise of meeting their idol, thee scarlett johansson in the flesh, but are bitterly deceived by the tempting words that fall from the widows lips.
once at the desired destination, the innocent creators are lead to a clearing in the woods where there are candles laid out in a giant circle, and that red hourglass symbol in the midst, its lines made from rose petals and leaves.
they are lined up and sebastian stan, the high priest of the cult will calm the creators by saying,
"do not fear my child, for i will be with you to the end of the line"
but when it is their turn to be given up, he steps back, leaving them confused until he speaks again,
"i said i would stay with you until the end of the line. this here my child, is the end of that line"
the creators will be carried to the alter by florence and hailee, then placed onto the petal hourglass before the cult members begin to chant their prayers in russian.
after each person from the line has been sacrificed, rachel weisz, the cults head chef, will cook a delicious meal made from their sacrifices.
and to end the night on a high, the members will sing "smells like teen spirit", the harmonies beautifully haunting, echoing into the darkness surrounding........