It's been years since I've actually used this account. I spent a long time posting my feelings here as a teen and honestly into my early 20's because it felt like a safe place to be sad.
I don't plan on using this account again after this and I don't expect this to be seen by anyone now, but I want my last post to be one that I think my 16 year old self needed to hear.
It got better.
Like so much better. You're about to turn 27 in the next month and you have 2 kids and a step son. You made it work with that guy with the long hair and the goofy smile from college and the daughter you have together is adorable.
Nothing is particularly easy and the world has kind of fallen apart significantly more but your life and the people you've filled it with are more than enough to keep you going every day. Your home is an old converted barn, full of character and you've filled it with love and joy and lots of little nick backs and things of your own. We have a large gallery of art and family photos all over the place. Everyone who visits says how quirky and unique it is and you love it.
You enjoy your job and are looking forward to being able to get the youngest into childcare so you can go back to doing more, yes, you like your job that much .
You survived a world pandemic, you worked through it in a care home and it was hard and heartbreaking and tiring and a lot of things but you made it though it and it feels like a lifetime a go now.
you haven't had it completely easy, you've had heartbreak and pain of many kinds but the most important thing is that all of those things made today so much better then I ever expected it would be.
I love my life now. I love my children and my partner and I am genuinely happy.
Thank you to this stupid place on the internet for being such a safe haven for me for so long but this chapter has closed and it's time to put a final full stop to this page. So let this be it.
Peace out ✌️
