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@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin
$LAYYYTER
One Nice Bug Per Day
we're not kids anymore.
The Bowery Presents

pixel skylines
will byers stan first human second
art blog(derogatory)
Fai_Ryy
Xuebing Du

oozey mess
ojovivo

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

gracie abrams
Sade Olutola
The Stonewall Inn
untitled

seen from Thailand

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seen from Saudi Arabia

seen from Malaysia
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seen from Türkiye

seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia

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seen from Tunisia

seen from Australia
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seen from Netherlands
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@theropodtheroblogs
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u/Medical_Marketing865
Boss boss: if youre strong enough, you can hold this sledgehammer and lower it to your forehead and back up again.
Beef: i am not doing that.
Boss boss; i swear its true.
Beef: there's no workmans comp for doing stupid shit.
Boss: suit yourself.
Five minutes later there's five of us standing around one of the teenage seasonals chanting "do it do it do it!"
"YEEEEEEEEAHHHHH!"
Don't forget the wedding invite his in-laws put out for his wedding.
"COME CLOSER," said the thing whose name sounded like Hornet Head, but was not. "LET US TALK... OF MANY THINGS."
Take my gay cats, Tumblr!
This is part 1, the next part will be gender identity centered :)
a ship where i see what people see but it is simply not very interesting to me personally it’s like
so back when my little brother was in high school, my mom went as a chaperone for their senior year field trip to an amusement park. which, you know, brave move to volunteer to supervise a bunch of high school seniors let loose in a wonderland of rollercoasters and sugar
my brother and his friends in this field trip group were truly great kids. but they were not above run of the mill teenage boy shenanigans. it’s the end of senior year, you and all your buddies are at the amusement park, you’re naturally going to want to act like a complete moron
there was one kid in the group who was especially prone to goofing around. committed to the bit, some may say. my mom knew that if nonsense was going to break out, he’d likely be at the center of it
so she goes up to this kid at the very start of the trip and says “hey, i’m kinda worried about this chaperoning thing. this might be a lot to ask, but can you help me keep an eye on everyone? you wouldn’t have to do anything big, just be an extra set of eyes for me.”
friends, this kid proceeded to run their field trip group like the fucking us marines. everyone is at the meet up spots at the designated time. everyone waits in line for the rides like a bunch of boy scouts. the second the horseplay gets too out of hand, this kid is getting it back under control
it’s incredible how differently people act based on the expectations you set. instead of going to this kid and saying “hey, i know you’re trouble, so i’ve got my eye on you,” my mom went “hey, i know you have influence in your peer group, so i think you can help me.”
treat someone like a problem, they’ll act like a problem. but give people a chance to help, make them feel important, and they usually rise far above the occasion. it was a stroke of genius that i’m honestly still in awe of
having free control over our endrocrine systems and the ability to change our genitals is currently inextricably tied to trans rights, and for good reason, but frankly i don't think it even needs to be. it should just be a matter of bodily autonomy, and that should be universal. if a cis dude wants tits and a pussy i think that would be fine. if cis women want a dick or nothing at all that should be allowed i think. people shouldn't need to be transgender to be allowed to change their bodies. free the nipple, enlarge the nipple, remove the nipple. whatever the fuck you want. i dont know if there's a term for this belief but i hold it very strongly. everybody biohack yourselves NOW
WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME THAT FISH WILL HITCH A RIDE INSIDE SEA SALPS??? HELP
THEYRE TAKING THE BUS!!!!!!!
I found a new terrible captioning practice.
on Instagram (and I'm sure it's happening on tiktok too) people have been substituting entirely unrelated words to censor their captions to avoid (disproven) censorship. I actually think I prefer the euphemisms to substituting "fucking" with the names of 2 celebrities who are fucking each other. it's genuinely impossible to parse at the speed of the captions. I have to sit there and puzzle through what they're saying (especially without context)
This is really funny on dark mode
On dark mode this is like a clown trying to hide behind a light pole.
what if there was a show where every character was gay and you had the token straight guy character who acted really stereotypical and was into cars beers and women and everyone was like OH STRAIGHT LARRY YOU’RE SO FUNNY AND STRAIGHT
#it’s been done
Thanks for this addition omfg that is hilarious
not providing the scene in question is a crime
Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk
“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”
Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?
Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby
Husband: RIVETING!
Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️
Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!
Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk
All of tumblr collectively at my husband:
Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream
Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!
Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued
Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.
THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND
yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this
Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays
Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.
????
Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave
Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!
FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering
I have follow up questions:
1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?
1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?
I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.
Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂
So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂
Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.
Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she
1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night
2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day
3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together
I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times
I've been following Penny the Deals Warlock for years and I think if she chooses to she would grow up to be an awe inspiring lawyer
Okay but people have actually studied this and talking to your kids this way means they start talking earlier and have greater listening comprehension than their peers.
DO THIS, in other words.