Summary: You're forced to have an emotional confrontation with Armin after avoiding him.
Warning: None? Cussing and talks of avoidant attachment? Commitment issues lol
Notes: Hello!! This is my first time posting and writing a fanfic lol. This story started off inspired by the Weezer song, Toxic Girl, but I got a little lazy. It's 2am, so give me some slack; maybe I'll come back and make the story more angsty... Hehe, who doesn't love angst? Anyways, the plot is kind of based off personal experiences, so I apologize if it seems too personalized. I'm hoping to advance my writing and get better over time. Thank you for reading this blurb lol, and enjoy!! I also didn't review thoroughly either; my apologies.
Word count: 1.7K
Sitting on your couch in your apartment, you reluctantly open your work schedule for the day with a small groan. Reading over the coworkers you’re working with for the day, you hummed softly to a song you had stuck in your head.
“Replacing Mikasa and closing with…” You mumble to yourself, slowly trailing off when you see his name, Armin Arlert.
“No, this is the worst possible outcome.” You whine childlike, tossing your phone down. Almost on cue, your roommate, Historia, is walking in with a confused look.
“What could possibly have you so upset?” She asks, sliding onto the couch next to you.
“I’m closing with Armin... Alone.” You groan, dropping your head back, onto the couch. This response gathers a laugh from Historia, causing you to glare at her.
“That’s just karma for ghosting him for a week." She chuckles.
“This is no laughing matter; it’s going to be awkward.” You respond.
“It wouldn’t be if you, I don’t know, didn’t leave him on delivered after y’all’s date.” She huffs with a small roll of the eyes.
This causes another pitiful whine to escape you, curling up in a ball. This really is the consequence of your actions; you can’t deny that. You could say you and Armin have been in a sort of situationship for a year now; yikes. It all began last summer, when he applied to the campus cafe where you also worked. He was shy on his first day, following you around like a shadow while training him. If it weren't for him being close to Mikasa, you wouldn’t have befriended him. It didn’t take long for him to open up to you once he got over his shyness around you. Who knew he was capable of so many words? Every shift would end up with him yapping your ear off about some sort of topic from class or special interest. You didn’t mind; however, it made the time pass, and you found his topics interesting. With his constant yapping, y’all became friends rapidly, spending time outside of work to discuss random topics like music, for example.
You knew early on that he had a crush on you; the signs were obvious. He’d stay up to message you at 2am, share music recommendations, and make dozens of playlists just for you. Additionally, he always made an effort to conversate with you whenever he had the chance at work or around campus. It wasn’t his feelings towards you that annoyed you initially; it was the fact it wasn’t one-sided.
His stupid voice, his never-ending yapping, his stupid long hair, and his stupid glasses. Ugh, just stupid! He didn’t even realize he had you wrapped around his finger so early on, but it wasn’t like you were making it noticeable. Yeah, you’d engage with him in conversations and message him late every night, but you always came off indifferent. It honestly confused Armin a lot; you were giving him mixed signals. You weren’t trying to; you’re just extremely fucked when it comes to commitment. Knowing the situation, you tried to push down these feelings, but somehow you found yourself on a date with Armin.
You couldn’t say no; he looked so nervous and honestly so adorable. You knew the date was going to freak you out, but you agreed anyway. The date was just fine, perfect in Armin’s eyes. Little did he know you were freaking the fuck out the whole time, knowing time was ticking before you were inevitably going to avoid his ass. You didn’t want to, but it’s just how your brain functions.
And now you’re here, sitting in your car outside the cafe, waiting for your shift of doom to start. Turning your car off, you sigh, grabbing your apron. As you walk into the cafe, Armin is already there, clocked in early as usual. Luckily he was in a deep conversation with Mikasa, not noticing the glance you gave him upon walking into the building. The conversation with Mikasa didn’t stop him from noticing your presence, though, and his gaze followed your movement into the back. He shot Mikasa a nervous look before you stepped out, tying your apron.
Armin turns and smiles at you, how could he not? He’s too sweet, and you always looked so beautiful with your hair up and in uniform. He really believes he could stare at you forever if you let him, but he knows you wouldn’t. That thought made his stomach turn and pulled him right out of his daze.
“Hey.” You approach Armin and Mikasa with an obvious disinterest in being at work.
You respond with a small huff. “Had a six-page essay due earlier today; who makes an essay due at 2pm?” you ask, dumbfounded.
This causes Mikasa to laugh. “That’s odd. And I assume you procrastinated it too, didn’t you?” She accuses.
You roll your eyes in response. “Yea, Yea. Whatever.”
Mikasa chuckles again before untying her apron. “Well, I’m off. See y'all later.” She says this as she walks into the back, receiving small goodbyes from you and Armin.
Great, now you’re here alone with Armin, and it's awkward. He might talk your ear off, but God knows he’s too shy to speak when there is such tension present. You had to dissolve the awkwardness, but that stubborn avoidance still holds you back.
It wasn’t until 20 minutes of absolute silence that Armin finally explodes, speaking up.
“D-did you like the pastry?” He blurts, stuttering.
You look up from your phone, blinking a few times before responding. “Yea, I’m glad I decided on the strawberry one.”
Armin relaxes at your response and nods. “That’s good; I had a feeling the chocolate one would be too rich.” He says, giving you a small shy smile.
You nod, crossing your arms and turning to him, signaling that your attention has shifted toward him. This causes Armin to gulp, unsure of this attention and how to approach such a delicate situation.
“I-” He speaks up but quickly gets interrupted by you.
“I’m sorry for not responding," you blurt. “...to your text.” You clarify.
Armin’s eyes widen softly before panicking slightly. "No, no! It’s ok!” He exhales an anxious laugh. “I… I didn’t want to overthink it, but I assumed you had your reasons.”
God, you wanted to vanish in that moment. You’re such a dickhead, making this poor boy worry. You finally respond to him with a slow nod.
“It’s complicated.” You mumble, avoiding his gaze.
Armin blinks slowly, tilting his head. “Complicated?” He asks.
His curiosity makes you sigh; I guess you’re having this conversation now. Fortunately, it’s a slow day at work, so the chance of being interrupted is low.
“Y’know, I have issues with committing to…things.” You cringe slightly at your response. “Sometimes, when things get too real, I react by pulling back. It’s not something I’m too fond of, but my mind just…it just—" You try to explain but eventually end with a frustrated sigh.
Armin’s eyebrow creased, trying to understand. “That’s ok, I understand, Y/N.” He says it sweetly, too sweetly.
“Do you, Armin? I don’t think you do.” You blink at him.
Armin nods. “Yea, you just…need space sometimes; I understand that.” He gives you a small hopeful smile.
“Maybe? I don’t really know. I—" you hesitate.
“What is it, Y/N? Please tell me," Armin urges.
“I just don’t want to hurt you.” You admit with a sigh. “I don’t know how to address this part of me; I don’t know how to work past my feelings. I don’t want to start something with you, and I realize I…I can’t. I couldn’t live with that, Armin," you mumble.
Armin blinks at you for a couple of moments, taking in a deep breath, taking a small, hesitant step towards you. “That okay–” he starts.
"No, it’s not," you interrupt.
“I can handle it for you.” He states with no hesitation.
This forces a physical reaction out of you, a look of pain flashing on your face. “No, you shouldn’t handle anything for me, Armin.”
“I think I can handle a lot if it’s for you. I want to handle a lot if that means I can be with you.” He says with such confidence.
“Please, Armin. I’m not something you want, I promise you.” You shake your head, causing Armin to take another hesitant step towards you.
“You don’t know what I want.” He says it bluntly, a tone you never hear from him.
You exhale a sharp sigh, already feeling your eyes watering. Great, just what you needed was to start crying at work while trying to convey your emotions to Armin.
Armin notices the sparkle in your eyes, the sight of fresh tears forming. “This is serious for me, Y/N. I will be as patient as you need me to be.” He says, quietly.
Your lip trembles softly, and you shake your head. “I don’t know, Armin." Your voice shakes.
“What do you not know?” He asks, slowly lifting a shaky hand to your cheek.
“I don’t…” You gulp softly, leaning into his touch slightly. “I just wish I could be normal.” That alone gets the tears rushing out and Armin holding you to his chest. You felt pathetic, crying into his arms at work, and the thought only had you sobbing more while he whispered small words of comfort into your hair.
“I want to…love normally, but…” You sobbed into his chest, unable to form full sentences. Armin softly shushes you, asking you to just let it out.
By the time you'd calmed down, you mutually agreed to leave this conversation after your shift. Now you’re sitting in the passenger seat of Armin’s car, not knowing how to break the silence once again.
Armin finally looks up from his lap and looks at you, exhaling slowly. “I mean it, when I say I’ll do anything for you. If that means giving you space, then I’ll give it to you. Anything, Y/N.” He whispers.
You bite your lip softly, not knowing how to respond. “I don’t know what I need.” You mumble.
“Then let’s figure that out together, ok?” He responds.
You softly glance up, gulping quietly. “You mean that?” You ask.
He nods immediately. “Anything to keep you comfortable.”
His response causes a small smile to form on your face. You felt safe. With your history of relationships, you always felt suffocated and terrified in these situations. Somehow, Armin knew exactly what you needed, and it was a comforting feeling.
You nod softly, a full smile forming now. “Thank you, Armin.”
hello ^^ wanted to share my soul doodle I drew today... i've never posted any of my work here before lol, I don't know what i'm doing.. but I hope y'all enjoy :)
ellievsbear
stormborns
origamiaround
izzy806
discoholicmusic
