Mini Chicken

Random things at random times

[minichicken23]

Here’s to everyone with not-so-practical intrests

Here’s to everyone who loves collecting old jars. Here’s to everyone who can do a handstand. Here’s to those people who still love drawing those weird S things that could be found all over middle schoolers notebooks. You really good at arranging your sock drawer? Are you really good at playing Monopoly? Do you just love chucking glitter all over the place? Your intrests probably never helped anyone or made you plenty of money, but they make you happy and THAT’S what really matters. 

[minichicken23]

I just learnt this?????

Apparentaly, today’s highschool students have the same stress as 1960s inmates at mental institutions???????? I mean, I’m not denying it, I just...... How the actual FUCK?

[minichicken23]

Only 24% of Americans Hate Pineapple on Pizza

11% of Americans actually admit to pineapple being one of their favorite pizza toppings. I just want everyone to think about that large percentage that doesn’t give a shit.

[minichicken23]

Fun fact

Most animals absorb all the crap that we lose on our periods. This means that us being in extreme pain and losing nutrients is a completely unecessary event each month. Hope you’re just as pleased with that information as I was. 

[minichicken23]

Fun fact

Your sinuses were made so that gravity could not help flush them out. Many mammals, such as a cat or dog, have sinuses that gravity can help flush out. So if you have a stuffy nose, please know that it is partially because your body hates you.

[minichicken23]

My brothers and I have all been through the school’s band program

Jess played the trombone

This qualifies him to play a slide whistle

Jim played the clarinet

This qualifies him to play a recorder

I played the flute

This qualifies me to play an old moonshine bottle in a jug band

[minichicken23]

Here y’all go folks! The MOST underrated song in the world brought to you by yours truly. Hoping you all have fond memories of people randomly screaming it out in the middle of class like I do. 

[minichicken23]

How to deal with unfair teachers

Have you ever had a teacher who hated children with every inch of her mortal soul??? Well then, gather around and let me tell you how to piss them off so much that they actually start shaking. I once had a teacher who had it out for her students. She would put multiple trick questions on every single test or assignment that we ever received etc. So one day, this teacher decides that we are a no-good-dirty-rotten group of rude children and decides to install a system of punishment to prevent us from interrupting people. The type of system is one well known to pissy teachers and tortured students, the one and the only, tick system. Every tick we got was one more question added to our next test. This system only lasted one and a half days and I’m gonna tell you why. I spent a whole weekend researching the rights of a child, articles with related issues, and all rights concerning collective punishment. I found 3 important rights that saved my ass multiple times. The first one was the right for a child’s opinions to be heard and considered. The second was the Geneva Convention of 1949 that stated that collective punishment is considered to be an act of terrorism or a war crime. The third was the International Humanitarian Law which stated that collective punishment could not be used under any and all circumstances. Now I know that the Geneva Convention of 1949 only counts for times of war, and the International Humanitarian Law is kinda a piece of shit but my teacher didn’t know that. So I went in Monday morning and made my teacher so furious that she actually tattled on me to the principle. (She didn’t know that my family was super close to the principle so she got a strip torn off her.) She also managed to make my week a living Hell, but it was worth it. The tick system was abolished, and I went down in history as that girl who wasted 15 minutes of class.(highly exaggerated) The real lesson here is, when faced with an unfair authority figure tear them down with your intellect and a tiny bit of bullshit. 

[minichicken23]

omg I just found 3 of the best ways to study for a history test:

Find an immortal who lived in that time period and exchange their story for your life force or smth. 

Find an old spirit and exchange your soul for the knowledge of how the allies beat the axis forces in the second World War. (These spirits can be found in any haunted structure such as an abandoned house or sunked shipwreck)

Hold a seance and force the spirit to tell you about the Renaissance by closing the bridge between the spirit world and make them spend time in the world of the living. 

I hope I have helped you all with this charished information and am totally willing to help anyone with any other school questions!

[minichicken23]

My friend thinks I might have social anxiety...

I once walked through a door and there was this really nice lady I knew walking right behind me so I held the door open for her. This awkward moment caused me to begin to hyperventilate. Little did I know someone else had just swung into the hallway and it was this really tall guy. I really wanted to just leave and let the door swing close in his face but my parents had taught me to be nice and hold doors open for people so I really had not other choice but to stand there looking awkward. Now I think it really couldn’t get any worse until I notice that this guy is like 15 feet away so he starts running so I don’t have to hold the door open for him as long. He eventually makes it through the door and just starts randomly laughing as I hightail it out of there as quickly as I could. I make a b-line for my friend and start telling her what happened and how I am a horrible piece of trash who ruined a random stranger’s life by holding a goddamn door open for him because my parents taught me a common curtesy of which I fear of forgetting because I might ruin someone’s life because I didn’t open a door for them. 

[minichicken23]

Shit my teachers have walked in on:

 Weird kid: *possesed doll voice* “wE LoVE RuSSIA!!”

Dark kid: “Have you tried shooting it? Or throwing it out of a moving vehicle?”  Bubbly kid with picture of her cat: “…..no.”

Me: “I feel bad…” My friend: “YEEEEEEHHAAAAWWW!!!!!!”

teacher: *walks through door* Two students sitting alone: *sudden uncomfortable silence* teacher: “What have you two been up to?” Student A: “Drugs! alcohol! and…… stuff?” Student B: “Weed, cocaine, LSD, benZO FURY, herione, shaRpIES MArKERS, MeeeTH!!???” teacher: “Okay, good luck with that.”

Student 1: *Walkes into a circle of desks* “And here is where we sacrifice people to the great Gahoo. Who wants to go first?” 

teacher: *walks through door and those 2 students go silent* “Where’s the communist propaganda this time?”

Two teenage girls fighting: *gasps* “You DO love Willy Wonka!!!” Other girl: “YOU love Elvis PRESLY!!!”

“And that is the best way to dispose of a body”

“Have you ever seen the WALLS WIGGLE???”

Student 1: “Ooooh he’s cute. I’d totally date him” Student 2 looking at picture of dead animal: “UMmmmmmmm….. okay…”