I thought I was fat 3 years ago but if 16 year old me could see me now... I can’t believe ive i let it get this bad...

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@minimal110
I thought I was fat 3 years ago but if 16 year old me could see me now... I can’t believe ive i let it get this bad...
So I had a mini breakdown and confessed my bulimia to my doctor. She was wonderful and understanding she got me a prescription and set up with a therapist..... Dudes the worst like he knows nothing and it's not worth my time. Now that I have my appitite under control it is time to get skinii
Food log again( because it kept me from snacking)
Breakfast: coffee and two small orange things- 112
Lunch: leftovers of my rice bowl: 176
Dinner: more rice bowl 176.... Purged
Snack: some dope ass cheese I got at work today with crackers ~200
Total 576 Bec I purged 😰
Food log cuz why not:
Breakfast: granny Smith apple 🍎- 119
Lunch: blueberries and strawberries 🍓(was going to have more but I "forgot my wallet" at home)-71
Dinner: 1 1/2 cup rice with 1/2 cup beans and some steamed veg🍚🍚🥕🥦🥕.- 364
Day total: in- 696 out- 200 total-- 496
Update
I've decided to put off fasting for a while it triggers too many binges. So I'm focusing on whole non processed food and sticking to vegatarian. If I can do that without bingeing in April I may try fasting again still keeping my goal of 800 or less.
I'm literally panicked at the thought of wedding dress shopping. I've lost and put on the same 30lbs the last 12 months and I can't tell a difference between. I do know I'm almost back to my sw. I literally don't know what I look like. I know I wear a us 18/20 in real clothes so God knows what that is in bridal but I can't deal with the idea of standing in a fitting room with a stranger seeing my body. I'm convinced they will all look horrible on me and I just shouldn't even get married..... How much more weight can I lose come may when I'm supposed to shop??
I'm full and I hate it.
Wishful thinking
I wish I could drown food in hot sauce to make it inedible but I fucking love hot sauce and it makes me want food more
Benefits of being with a baby every day:
There's no time to eat. My younger brother has a baby and they basically pawn him off on my family to watch all the time, at leas 3-4 days/nights a week I don't work during the day so I watch him while my mother works. It's great restriction because I'm so busy with him. He's an angel and I love him , I just worry his parents will abandon him. He deserves the world, not this fucked up family.
I did it
I'm home from the torturous vacation to my grandparents where there was no scale and tons of food but I managed to lose 7 lbs in the 5 days I was gone. How amazing!
Idk why but
Into the unknown from frozen 2 is a big mood about how I feel about my Ed.
Reblog if you’re looking for an Ana buddy and you:
🌿are pescatarian/vegetarian
🌿18+
🌿want someone to talk food plans/tips and strategies with
🌿to share inspiration/ motivate one another positively
🌿healthy/overweight BMI
🌿it’s ok to DM you
Ok so I’m 25 and no hate to all the baby teens on here I just feel sooo old and weird using this app sometimes bc last time I used it I was way younger. If you’re over 20 can u like or reblog this and ill follow u!!
Day 1 of vacation
Ate a ton yesterday, so I'm up to 274.... a-fucking-gain can't weigh again till next Saturday. In the car most of the day, we won't be there till like 6pm and it's 2:30 now. I wasn't fully awake when we left so I was a dumb bitch and ate a breakfast sandwich that was apparently like 600 Cal's so I can't eat dinner when we get there. Everyone is stuffing themselves with chips and candy while we drive I'm just sipping Coke zero. Give me strength to not be a pig on this vacation.
Vacation
Tomorrow my family is going out of town for the new year, I will not be able to weigh for probably a week so im pretty stressed about that but I'm going to try my hardest to eat as little as possible which should be easy we typically only eat one meal a day at my grandparents with tons of snacking so if I avoid snacks and eat small portions of dinner then I should hopefully surprise myself when we return.
1100 binge
Please kill me. This is before any festivities tomorrow. At least in a crowded house I'll be able to not eat without anyone noticing
I've done it
I've finally undone the damage of my 4 day binge.... Just in time for Christmas FML🤦