Another bowuigi thread crossposted from bluesky. This one is very self-indulgent, like all fankid AUs, but it's consumed my thoughts for the last couple weeks. 😂
I drew a bunch of sketches afterward (two of them Bob's Burgers quotes) and I've inserted them here more or less where they'd go in the timeline.
also credit to my friend @theunvanquishedzims for the idea that the twins have different scars, and pronouncing Charlotte with a hard 'ch' sound to sound like the word "char." Even though that doesn't come up in the thread I like it and I wanted to include it.
Dumb #bowuigi idea: accidental parent trap situation. Running with the idea that storks deliver babies in this universe, Bowser and Luigi have a very brief whirlwind romance that they both regret as soon as it ends. Shortly after they both get a delivery from the stork!
(Twins run in Luigi's family and the storks got confused and split the difference)
Both Bowser and Luigi try to reach out to the other after the shock has worn off, but they're so tired and frazzled that they dismiss it more harshly than they mean to, and both end up thinking the other is still angry. Bowser's angry, but he's also taking the breakup HARD. Luigi is blaming himself.
Bowser gets it in his head that if Luigi finds out about the baby he'll demand full custody and Bowser will lose someone ELSE he loves. Whenever he thinks about this for more than a few seconds he knows it's not true, but he can't stop the fear, so he keeps putting it off.
Luigi thinks that if Bowser finds out about the baby he'll reject her just for being Luigi's too. He hopes that if enough time passes Bowser will get over it, but he wants to wait until his daughter is old enough to at least understand it's not HER fault if that happens.
Next thing you know, ten years have passed. Whoops.
Each twin takes after the other parent's personality, in an ironic mix of nature and nurture. Luigi's daughter (Lucia) is hot-blooded and adventurous because she really looks up to Uncle Mario and feels abandoned when they go on quests without her.
Bowser's daughter (Charlotte, called Lottie) is timid and shy because Bowser's fear of losing her led to him being subconsciously overprotective. Junior takes "protecting" his baby sister DEADLY SERIOUSLY.
So when he, now 16, sees his sister walking around with Luigi of all people, his first thought is "kidnapper!!!"
He quietly snatches her "back" the moment Luigi's back is turned, and Lucia thinks that escaping from the son of her uncle's enemy will be a great first solo adventure so she doesn't fight it. When they reach the castle she only asks why he's not taking her to the dungeon or something.
Junior is very confused about why his shy little sister is taking being kidnapped so well… when his shy little sister walks out of her bedroom wondering what's going on.
SOME screaming ensues. Then accusations of cloning or doppelgangering or alien abduction somehow.
They eventually start comparing their childhoods and Junior is like "oh yeah, Dad did date Luigi for a little bit… But that was a long time ago, before you guys were even bor- Oh."
For the rest of the afternoon the kids bond. They all assume that the adults must know about each twin and are keeping them apart for some reason. It's Lucia who suggests the swap, though both girls are jealous of aspects of the other's life. They give a crash course on their friends and families.
This isn't the first time Lucia has run off in the middle of the day, so although Luigi was worried the whole time he didn't completely panic. She can take care of herself.
When Junior drops off Lottie Luigi is so grateful that asks Junior if he wants to stay for dinner. He's 16, he's always hungry.
Junior and "Lucia" get along so well that Luigi feels bad about not letting them meet sooner. Should he tell her about her other parent? Would she like to have an older brother?
Once Junior is gone Luigi very gently chides "Lucia" for running off, it could have been dangerous! Lottie instantly bursts into tears.
Luigi has no idea what to do. Lucia has never been much of a crier! He tries to comfort her, brings her favorite dessert, which only makes Lottie cry harder because it's NOT her favorite dessert but she can't say so.
Back at Bowser's castle, Lucia tries to not be TOO eager as she asks if she can start taking part in exploration and combat. Bowser is thrilled! But it's not long before he reassures "Lottie" that she doesn't need to push herself to do things she's not interested in, and he loves her exactly how she is.
Lucia doesn't cry, she's not a crier, but she feels weird about it all day. And it's not just that, it's a lot of things. Bowser clearly ADORES his daughter. But Lucia is his daughter too, and he doesn't know a thing about her. She likes the luxury, she likes the power, but it feels… weird.
Junior is playing courier between the two girls and honestly having the best time out of any of them. He's got TWO little sisters now, even if one of them keeps trying to arm wrestle him. Luigi catches him in the yard a couple times but just thinks he wants another dinner invite.
(this is the point in the thread where I decided I can name them (more or less) after the girls from the original novel The Parent Trap is based on. Instead of Luise and Lotte it's Lucia and Lottie.)
So the first few days are a disaster. Lucia was jealous that Lottie is a princess and gets to live in luxury, but she quickly discovers that luxury means nothing when you can't go anywhere or do anything. She's not good at any of Lottie's hobbies and finds them frustrating.
The point was supposed to be getting to know her dad and brother, but they're both busy all the time and Junior is still a little awkward around her even when he's not working or studying. Bowser thinks she's acting stubborn because she's hitting her tween years and figures she needs space, when she wants the opposite!
Meanwhile Lottie was looking forward to having more freedom and friends and going to public school, but because she's not familiar with public school she ends up making several faux pas on the first day. Princess Charlotte has never waited in line a single day in her life! What are "turns"?
She genuinely didn't mean to be rude, but everyone chalks it up to "Lucia" being bossy again. When Lottie tries to apologize and get close to Lucia's friends, they think she's pulling crocodile tears to make them feel bad and only get annoyed with her.
The bright side is that Luigi DOES always have time for her, but he's so worried over the change in her personality that he keeps trying to find out what happened to make her so timid all of a sudden. He so nice about it that it makes Lottie feel even worse about lying.
And then there's Uncle Mario, who Lucia adores but Lottie is a little scared of because she's only ever heard of him as her father's most hated enemy. She can't even pretend to be happy to see him.
But after about a week both girls settle in and manage to find a happy medium.
They're able to enjoy themselves for another week, but nothing stays peaceful in the mushroom kingdom for long. There's another bad guy out there trying to take over the world, and Mario and Luigi have to do something about it. Lottie is left to stay safe with Peach, which is awkward for her…
Just like with Mario, Lottie only knows Peach as the woman who broke her dad's heart years ago. But it's her first time spending time with another princess, and she's impressed by Peach's popularity. Maybe a princess should be a leader instead of just protected?
When baddies show up to kidnap Peach, Lottie summons her courage for the first time in her life and throws herself in front of Peach to protect her. She ends up kidnapped instead.
This is bad. This is very bad.
Bowser and Junior had been keeping an eye on the other villain for a while (that's why they've been so busy) and when Junior finds out "Luigi's daughter" was kidnapped he panics and runs to his dad to tell him they got Lottie.
Bowser is confused, because "Lottie" is sitting right next to him.
But Lucia jumps to her feet. "THEY KIDNAPPED LOTTIE?" Junior: "Yeah!" Lucia: "WE GOTTA GO SAVE HER!" Junior: "You're right!" And the kids run off, Bowser following them more confused than ever.
They do try to explain to Bowser what's going on and what they did - saving Lottie is more important than not getting in trouble! But he doesn't really believe them and just assumes this is some kind of game they're playing. He's not opposed to saving Luigi's daughter on principle. She's just a kid!
And it's not like ALL his feelings for Luigi are negative... They did love each other once, even if it was all-too-brief. If he can get Luigi to feel positively toward him, he won't be too mad about hiding their daughter all these years, right? Luigi even had a kid of his own at some point.
They all convene where the baddies have Lottie locked up, including Luigi who has been tearing his way through the villains to get his daughter back. He sees her standing with Bowser and Junior at first, and is confused, but Lucia missed him so much that she yells "Papa!" and runs over to hug him.
Bowser doesn't notice right away. He's too busy tearing down the prison door and rescuing the girl, who… looks just like his daughter, sounds just like his daughter, and CRIES just like his daughter.
This is definitely Lottie. But if THIS is Lottie, who is THAT?
The kids explain, which means the dads have to explain, and there's a lot of tension and raised voices but before it gets TOO heated they have to put their feelings on the back burner and deal with the bad guys again. Bowser and Luigi leave the girls with Junior and head off, bickering all the while.
They're both surprised to notice how much the other's changed, though. Bowser doesn't shout as much (when you've got a crybaby for a daughter you learn to control your temper) and Luigi isn't as much of a pushover (when you've got a troublemaker for a daughter you learn to stand your ground).
Soon bickering turns to comparing stories about the last couple weeks and things they should have noticed. And that turns to sharing stories about the girls growing up. By the time they join up with Mario to defeat the big bad, they're barely fighting with each other at all.
They're both hurt, especially about the fact they missed out on their other daughter growing up, but they can't REALLY hold a grudge when they both made the same idiot decision.
Besides there's still bigger things to worry about.
When they get back to the kids they find the girls have swapped some of their clothes and accessories so nobody can tell which is which. The girls say they DON'T want to be split up again, and their dads will just have to learn to share. Luigi and Bowser don't mention they already agreed on that.
They're not going to let this ruse go on, though, so Bowser asks a couple questions trying to provoke a reaction, and Luigi says, "Show me your elbows."
One girl looks confused, but rolls up her sleeves. The other girl hesitates and says, "Why should we? What do elbows have to do with anything?"
"That's Lucia," Luigi says. "She has a big scar from when she fell out of a tree last year."
Lucia: "I did NOT fall out of a tree, I JUMPED out of the tree, I just miscalculated my landing!"
Custody takes some time to work out, but neither Bowser or Luigi suggest splitting the girls up. They talk long into the night at Luigi's place, long after the girls have gone to bed in Lucia's room and Junior has passed out on the couch. If they talked about anything ELSE they never mention it.
In the morning what they've agreed is that the girls will spend weekdays with Bowser, because Lucia needs to catch up on princess lessons (Lucia: "noooo!"), and weekends with Luigi. Even though Bowser technically gets more time with them, they'll be busy with tutoring, so holidays are split evenly.
Lottie: "What if… we all spent holidays together? As a family?"
Lucia: "Shh, we need to work on them! Subtly!"
Both girls have changed after this experience too. Lottie found her courage, though she's perfectly content not to use it unless she has to. And Lucia learned that adventures aren't all fun and excitement, they're scary and dangerous too. She's okay with sitting them out for a few more years.
Junior learned that if he's GONNA lie to his dad he should have both his sisters put on the puppydog eyes first because that's twice as effective.
I wasn't originally planning on having the fiancee plot like the book/movies but I did get an idea.
Bowser's fiancee has been subtly negging his kids by pointing out they're illegitimate and once she's queen HER kids with him will be his REAL heirs.
Lottie and Jr fall for it because they've still got residual insecurity from their childhood, half believing that if they were Better their dad would spend more time with them.
But Lucia has only know Bowser for a few months and doesn't have that lonely child trauma, so she's not buying it.
As soon as the fiancee tries this on her, Lucia is like "Lady, are you freakin' stupid?" and immediately runs off to tell her dad.
The fiancee actually thinks she can talk her way out of this, he's known that girl for less time than they've been engaged! But no, Bowser believes Lucia 100%.
(He says that he knows Lucia would never lie about something this important but most likely he'd subconsciously already had doubts about the relationship and just didn't want to admit it yet.) He throws the fiancee out and publicly announces their breakup so she can't even pretend for clout.
Jr: "You SNITCHED?"
Lucia: "Papa says it's always okay to snitch on grownups."
Bowser: "That's true. Wait, did I not teach you guys that? No, seriously, it's ALWAYS okay to snitch on grownups. If a grownup asks you to keep something secret it's because they know they're doing something wrong."
Jr: "Okay I'm almost an adult already so this doesn't apply to me."
Bowser: "It EVEN MORE applies to you because they're gonna flatter you by telling you how mature you are."
Jr: "…Does this include the people who keep telling me I'm gonna be a better king than you? I think they just want jobs."
Bowser: "Give me names and addresses." 🔥🔥🔥
Bowser pretends he's fine in front of the kids and that the breakup is a relief but of course he's devastated. Not only that he misjudged her so badly, but also that the future he was imagining is now up in flames, again.
He goes to talk to Luigi at night after the kids are in bed.
He tells himself he just needs to inform Luigi about what happened because they're co-parenting and it affects their daughters, but really he's looking for comfort and reassurance. Bowser doesn't question why he's seeking those things from his EX.
And of course Luigi is perfect, giving him a bowl for a wine glass and letting him vent. Telling him that it's awful what happened and he's got every right to have mixed feelings about it.
"You know, you don't have to be so nice all the time."
"I'm not always nice. We SHOULD try to be friends."
"Right… Friends."
"Right."
"Right."
Luigi's the one who initiates the kiss. And tries to apologize for it, before Bowser is pushing him down into the couch and not letting him get another word out.
Bowser has to rush back in the morning and they both agree that last night was mostly the wine and just a casual thing anyway and actually getting back together would be a terrible idea.
Doesn't stop that "casual thing" from happening several more times over the next few months.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
"Wrong place, wrong time. One mistake leaves Luigi with the unwanted title of “Giant Slayer” and a hero. Not wanting to be labelled a disappointment, he does nothing to correct this story. So what happened when rumours of an old threat impulsively sets Mario off an a determined campaign to start a war?
Luigi is sent on a mission to hunt down this monster. Out of fear he will travel to the edge of the world to avoid telling his brother the truth. Even if that puts him squarely in the middle of the distant Koopa Kingdom, a place referred to as the Darklands for its wastelands and reputation of death."
A work for the Bowuigi #Artforauthors event! "Luigi the Giant Slayer" by @BlueBerryOatmeal on AO3 is one of my favorite Bowuigi fic, I love the world building and the slightly gritty tone. Even though it is not a complete fic, please check it out!
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