Mintounette @mintounette - Tumblr Blog

С днём ангела

20. of July is one of the name days for Ilya in western slavic cultures, so pls indulge me in some of the hc i have (as a slavic person whose culture still celebrates name days and finds them as important as birthdays)

- since Ilya appears in the orthodox calendar multiple times ( Jan 1st, 21st, Feb 29th, Aug 2nd and Sep 30th ) i believe he received small gifts across a few of those days and celebrated on the main saint Ilya’s feast day (Aug 2nd) since its the closest one to his birthday

The January dates also bracket one of the name days for Irina - i think when he was little they had a special activity they did in January on Irina’s and Ilya’s name day. But the big family celebrations happened in August (when he also went to church with Irina)

- he usually received sweets on the lesser days and got a few bigger presents on the main name day

- when he was 6 he got a bouquet of flowers for his name day (very traditional) and he was sad at the idea of them wilting so Irina decided to dry and press one of them which Ilya held onto for years

- he stopped celebrating with family after Irina passed bc his father and brother did not continue with any of the name day traditions (for anyone) that the family had

- Svetlana is the only one who still does a small thing for his name day and goes with him to light a candle for Irina for hers

- since Sveta’s name day is on Feb 26th and one of Ilya’s is on Feb 29th - they do celebrate together every leap year since they were teens, otherwise they only celebrate Sveta’s

- when he is around 15-16 Svetlana gifts him a puck from an NHL game as a good luck charm in his first upcoming international tournament

- for a few years, his teammates would call him saint Ilya (especially when he scored a goal) and would tease him that they should go light a candle and pray to saint Ilya on August 2nd to bless their upcoming season

- when he moves to NA he does not really have people around to celebrate with, who actually understand the importance of a name day - he makes a few Russian/Slavic friends in the league who send him messages but generally he only celebrates if he is still in Russia for the summer and goes out with Sveta

- when he officially starts dating Shane they discuss important parts of their culture and Ilya mentions name days, their significance and how they’re celebrated (but does not mention when his is seeing as he still would not be able to celebrate with Shane properly)

- Shane ends up looking up name days and finds out that there are multiple days they could celebrate on - if the name day ends up falling on all stars they do spend the evening/night together; on other days Shane gets him little things - McDonalds breakfast delivery, flowers, chocolates, imported vodka

- the first summer as husbands, weeks after getting married, Shane plans a bigger family celebration on August 2nd with Sveta - makes sure its actually authentic, they prepare food that Ilya used to eat as a kid and have the family and close friends briefed on the importance of the name day (they end up bringing small gifts for Ilya too - Ilya gets choked up at this and absolutely cries his eyes out in the afternoon, holed up in their master bathroom with Shane hugging him and stroking his back)

- a name day celebration becomes their new family traditions - Ilya assigns name days for Shane and Yuna (based on name meaning and trying to match it with Russian names), Anya also ends up getting a pup cup or a new lick mat for hers

*if they end up having kids, all of them have names that do have a name day that is celebrated properly every single year with the whole family

#omg #i need yall to understand how important name days are for some of us slavs #in the past a name day was more important than a birthday #heated rivalry #heated rivalry headcanon #ilya rozanov #shane hollander #hollanov #hollanov headcanon #happy name day ilyusha #aaaaaaah

depsidase

do-not-u-dare

Stole this from somewhere but i think it’s appropriate

comingatthecottage

re: ilya's terrible therapist

okay i think i'm obligated to say that although i am a mental health professional very obviously nothing i post on my heated rivalry tumblr is professional advice nobody sue me or anything. i should also probably caveat that i am coming from a very specific perspective: i'm a relational psychoanalyst; i have adjunctive training in several behavioral modalities but i believe very, very strongly in relational psychodynamic work as being THE thing. for patients with complex relational trauma (aka mr. ilya rozanov), i don't believe anything else can create lasting change. i also don't believe in the medical model of mental health. these are things about which reasonable people can, of course, disagree, so i'll try to separate out things i think she does WRONG vs things i think are missed opportunities to do well/what i would do differently

comingatthecottage

THINGS THAT ARE WRONG the biggest and worst: patient presents for therapy for first time despite significant treatment barriers. patient discloses that he believes he is depressed. patient has a first-degree relative who died by suicide. your next question, your very next question, is "are you thinking of killing yourself". you don't beat around the bush, you don't imply it, you don't wait until the patient volunteers. you must ask directly and you must do so before the patient leaves your office, because there is a huge and immediate risk that this appointment is someone's last cry for help before an attempt, and the odds of a depressed patient with a trauma history related to the suicide of a parent attempting suicide is fucking staggering. it is in my opinion malpractice not to even screen for suicidal intent at this first appointment ANYWAY, i do this for all patients and to not do it for someone with ilya's history is outrageously dangerous. life-threateningly incompetent care. lack of treatment planning: doesn't take a history or anything at the first appointment. jumps directly into talking about a horrific trauma (finding his mother's dead body). sometimes people do come in to a first session in an escalated state and have to begin directly with discussing whatever is happening at that moment, and then you meet them where they're at, but ilya arrives in a calm if slightly nervous state. she should have started by laying out what therapy would look like and beginning to build rapport, not immediately being like "so how about your mom's corpse". the way she makes the diagnosis of depression is bizarre. “I think you are depressed”. she doesn't clarify whether or not she's actually diagnosing him with depression under the medical model, explain what that means, or ask what it means to him to hear that. it's also MONTHS in, after he came in suspecting depression, that she makes this diagnosis (in the US it has to be in the first session generally for insurance purposes, different, also bad). no actual screening for symptoms, no psychoeducation about what it means to have depression, no sense of prognosis which clearly upsets the patient. it is so important to contextualize a diagnosis, both what the particular diagnosis is and what the act of diagnosing means. no differential diagnosis. she knows that ilya has experienced at least one criterion A trauma for PTSD (his mother's death) but does nothing to screen for symptoms. she doesn't ask how old his sexual partners he had when he was fourteen were to screen for sexual abuse. she doesn't rule out bipolar which is a must when diagnosing depression. she doesn't ask any questions about substance use or screen for potential neurodivergence or any of a million other things. she doesn't refer to medical for potential physiological contributors for a guy whose career is "getting hit really hard in the head".

comingatthecottage

no clear treatment plan or goals, and no sense of how therapy is going to work besides… talking? the only goal ilya really sets is "be good enough for my boyfriend," and although she (rightly) pushes back on that she doesn't help him identify an alternate goal. she also doesn't explain what therapy is going to be like or how it works or help him get on board with what the project of therapy is going to be. she seems unshaken when he misses five appointments in a row (if i had a passively suicidal patient miss five appointments in a row i would not be brushing that off, we would be having a good chat about what the barriers to treatment were). culturally incompetent care: they're part of the same minority group (Russian immigrants) across one axis of identity, but Galina is not a queer hockey player (or as far as we know queer at all). she minimizes and dismisses the discrimination ilya is likely to face in his career from coming out, including the fact that he could get deported to Russia, jumping to a CBT technique that asks him to imagine the worst case scenario without engaging at all with how it feels to be in this position or validating his fears. mental health professionals have an ethical obligation to educate themselves about their patients' identities and to listen first. "I could lose my job and be deported and jailed because of my sexual identity" is not a cognitive distortion, it is a terrifying reality. perhaps an unlikely reality, but it exists. trying to use cognitive therapies to "reframe" real experiences of discrimination is, flat-out, therapeutic abuse. she also should have explicitly responded to his fear that she would out shane when he's afraid to say shane's name, not obliquely implied that she knows they're both hockey players: "i want to let you know that confidentiality extends to anything and everything you tell me, except (reiterate legal carveouts). there are no circumstances under which i would disclose your partner's identity to anyone. if you want to use his name, i won't repeat it to anyone except when we're in this room" THINGS THAT ARE POOR THERAPEUTIC STYLE IN MY OPINION AND WHAT I WOULD DO BETTER #MYNARCISSISM lack of curiosity: she does not prompt him to reflect emotionally, even when there are very obvious entry points to do so to do so. i.e. ilya says he's glad his father is dead, which is a huge emotional disclosure that is very risky for a patient to make, especially in a first appointment because he might expect judgment. and she just… asks a factual question about the timeline, rather than engaging with the emotional content in any way (as a relational analyst what i would do here is ask "what does it feel like to share that with me?", but i do not think any good therapist would like, change the subject away from the feeling)

comingatthecottage

she regularly offers direct opinions about/interpretations of things ilya says, very early in their therapeutic relationship. "that must have been very hard" in response to his father's expectations of him (which he interprets as being about sochi--he seems to hear 'it must have been hard for you to fail like that', which is, uh, bad!), "it's good that you had that," etc. in spite of the fact that he's already indicated a complex relationship with his family and himself that mean he might feel quite differently than someone else expects! was it good that he had hockey, or did it just create another burden on him and his relationship with his father, or is it somewhere in the middle? did his father's expectations feel hard? traumatizing? was he proud that so much was expected of him? when did he notice those feelings? just some questions i might ask. describing how ilya must feel about things closes off conversation. her affect and presentation in the session: ilya repeatedly notices her masking her reactions to things, like the fact that he became sexually active so young. i guess technically you're still allowed to be a blank slate style therapist, even though i don't know anyone who still does this. but if you're a blank slate, be a blank slate. don't let patients notice that you're hiding your reactions to things. so for instance i would approach that conversation by having whatever reaction i had and then saying, "you might notice i had a reaction to you saying that," and either asking the patient how they interpreted my reaction or asking them if they'd like to know what i'm thinking (and then how does it feel to know that i'm feeling concerned, etc, the relational field goes on forever). my way isn't the only way but if you're visibly swallowing reactions it's bad. she doesn't check in with ilya about how he's feeling about therapy and dismisses his fear that it's not working. tbh the only thing she says that i like is "i'm good, but i'm not that good," which IS something i might say. but she doesn't go from there, it becomes a way of dismissing his fears. i would have asked what it's like to have to tolerate such a slow and uncertain recovery process. does he think therapy can help? are there ways in which it has helped? how does it feel to talk about it? how does it feel to talk to me about it? bizarre attitude towards self-disclosure. she gives ilya next to no information about herself, which, again, is an old-fashioned but not per se wrong way to do it. just because i'm the relational yapper machine 3000 doesn't mean that every therapist needs to tell their patient anything about themselves. but she does self-disclose twice. she tells ilya that she's watching their season/is a hockey fan, and makes a weird comment that she also enjoys shopping as a coping mechanism but that bedsheets are more in her price range than sports cars. even though i'm the yappatron 3000 i would not choose to make these particular disclosures! admittedly if i had a famous patient and i knew about their career i would probably tell them that directly in the first session, i would not however make asides about it because now you're kind of creating a dual relationship. the bedsheets thing is weird bc you gotta keep a wiiiide birth around anything even quasi sexual, like don't invite a patient to imagine what your bed is like you weirdo. also finances are usually an inappropriate thing to self-disclose, because therapy is also a financial relationship! i would never joke about how a patient has more money than me (even though most of my patients have a lot more money than me), it seems likely to induce guilt and also to disturb the therapeutic frame around money which is hard to manage anyway

comingatthecottage

therapeutic interventions: i mean the biggest problem is that she doesn't really seem to have a consistent style or approach or anything. they just kind of chat. the things she does say are… weird. she directly gives advice about what he should do in his relationship with Shane repeatedly. She doesn’t otherwise tell ilya what to do, which would actually be more appropriate--there's a place for giving depressed patients clear instructions imo. but she doesn't do that, she tells him what to do with his boyfriend which is far riskier because she's never met shane! the worst bit is that she also directly predicts what the outcome of one of the conversations she tells him to have will be, which is… bad, because she does not know Shane, and this is like their fourth session, and she could be wrong. That’s how you destroy a therapeutic rapport forever btw, is make a promise you can’t keep. i have never in my career assured a patient that a conversation they were gonna have with someone else would turn out well, because i don't know that person. maybe shane is an abusive asshole who is going to say "well if you're depressed just kill yourself already". she doesn't know this man!

her ideas about how to treat depression seem limited to pills and exercise. which is crazy because the man is a professional athlete. and she's like "well maybe go on a bike ride." because rachel reid clearly doesn't know how therapy works or what the mechanism of action is! she doesn't lay out the many, many possibilities ("i recommend speaking to a psychiatrist, options might include ssris or snris, other antidepressants, mood stabilizers, etc. there are also interventional methods like intravenous ketamine, transcranial magnetic stimulation, or ECT. i mention those only so you understand that there are a lot of options, and a lot of hope). she doesn't actually offer psychoed about lifestyle interventions--why exercise? what does nutrition look like? sleep? she tells him he needs to come out to his friends but doesn't offer anything to help him actually understand how social isolation and depression interact. she doesn't look at any of his strengths, notably the fact that he has a partner who adores him, that he has survived a lifetime of immense trauma, that he has a brilliantly successful career, etc. there's a stab at one CBT exercise but otherwise no concrete skills (again not my thing but it would be something). and no information about different therapy modalities and how they could potentially help him. okay that's the end of my essay sorry to anyone who doesn't care and had to watch this get reblogged like 8 separate times becasue tumblr was mad abt how long it was if anyone wants to know My Case Formulation of fictional character Ilya Rozanov and how i would Fix Him let me know @stunkbug here is the essay!

elnotwoods

for their 5th anniversary (theme is wood) Ilya ties a bow around his hard dick and tells Shane that’s his themed gift

elnotwoods

nsfw version over on ao3!

elnotwoods

Ilya’s anniversary present based on this post of mine!

NSFW version on ao3!

mintounette

ngl i can see them doing this 100% !!!!

#heated rivalry fanart #ilya rozanov #heated rivalry #ilya rozanov fanart #first piece of art i post and its a d i c k #el draws #anniversary #date night #dick in a box #hilarious

elnotwoods

Ilya’s anniversary present based on this post of mine!

NSFW version on ao3!

cliopadra

Please excuse the text and let me be cringe, that ending fucked me up so bad I’ll be recovering longer than from OFMD Izzy’s death

Plus a little extra:

wingly-coded

How can you say this in season 2 and then do what you did 😭😭

elnotwoods

at some point Ilya terrorizes Scott with Ice Age inspired chirps for a whole season

elnotwoods

in november 2016, ilya is buying cereal at his local grocery store when kiss from a rose starts playing in the store.. 45 seconds into the song ilya is ready to walk into oncoming traffic, he abandons his little basket in the aisle and runs out of the store

elnotwoods

Ilya when he gets Anya in TLG

mintounette

Best representation!!

elnotwoods

i was watching the non-gay hockey as per usual but the brainrot has gotten me so badly that i could not stop myself from thinking about goalie Shane

do not get me wrong, i adore Shane as a center but i have a weakness for goalies so imagining him as a goalie just does stuff to me

goalies are said to be weird and you know what… they tend to be quirky and “weird” but i think Shane would be a great one precisely because what others perceive as weird and quirky in canon would be his biggest assets as a goalie (and his undoing too)

with the way he is observant and analytical, i know he learns the tells of players super fast, to the frustration of everyone - he has amazing pattern recognition, knows plays from years ago and he analyses tapes meticulously

he is one of those “how the fuck did he catch that when he was already down for a save 2 seconds ago and his field of vision was obstructed” kind of goalies

it would definitely change the team dynamic though, as goalies usually do not make captains (with very few exceptions) and goalies also train individually with their coach often which provides some separation from the team even if they are in the arena together for training

he would still put massive amounts of pressure on himself, because no matter how often you say hockey is a team sport, Shane would still beat himself up badly over letting anything in

he would have an insane save percentage and his shutout statistics are also impressive - def in the top ranges in the league, generational talent

multiple Vezinas under his belt, national team starting goalie both for world championships and olympic games

now Shane in the net against Ilya? do not get me started on D man Ilya - just delicious (and works well cause we know Shane wants that D)

Shane going down during the game would be all the more shocking cause goalies do not get hurt as often, especially not from fights but someone like Marlow crashing into Shane/the net at full speed could do some damage still

lastly…teams are also very protective of their goalies so the fallout from the coming out in tlg would be even worse if he was a goalie - like imagine being accused that the goals you did let in and were scored/assisted by Ilya were let in because you wanted to let your bf win when your usual save percentage is so ridiculously high (no matter that he usually plays better against Boston/Centaurs but he also has the occasional bad day like everyone else); so you then have a team who does not care about their goalie or feels betrayed by him, so the whole team absolutely fails him

the goalie (typically) being on ice the full 60 minutes also provides ample opportunities to show how much the team has broken apart with the defence failing him, losses being blamed on him which results in Shane being pulled from games or not being the starting goalie anymore.. management and coaching staff giving him the bullshit excuse that they want to give the other goalie some ice time

tldr goalie Shane is absolutely delicious and i wonder if RR ever thought about making him a goalie if she did not model him after Crosby