Pragma Love Pt.2; Jean Kirschtein x reader
summary: you and jean slowly develop feelings for each other overtime, but you both quickly learn that love isn’t as easy as you thought.
warnings: near death experience
listen to: good luck- broken bells
At this point, it was getting ridiculous.
You two had begun to ignore your feelings so much you avoided each other. Your relationship had staggered, losing its closeness and becoming an assortment of awkward encounters. Jean didn’t mean for this to go on as long as it had, but there had been so much going on he neither had the time or chance to confess to you; and you were too anxious to say anything, so you two slowly drifted apart from each other. It was painful and confusing for the both of you, as it wasn’t intentional, but there was no obvious solution with a definite outcome. Not only was it a pain for you two, though, but it was a pain for those around you. Even Levi got a bit irritated with you.
“Why won’t you just say something to him?” He asked you one morning. You had woken up particularly early that day, as did some other cadets, and he noticed the constant glances you and Jean would exchange. He sipped his tea and gave you one of his (many) glares, to which you raised your eyebrows. “Sir?” He rolled his eyes and set down his drink. “You and the kid, why won’t one of you speak up? It’s getting annoying seeing you two stare at each other all the time.” He said with disgust. A slight blush flooded your cheeks as you denied his claims, but you knew he was right. “I don’t care either way, but for goodness sakes, look at something else for once.”
After that moment, you wondered who else had noticed. Was it seriously that obvious? Did he notice it, too?
You became hyper aware of how you acted around him, making things even more awkward and confusing between the two of you. He noticed the furthering drift of your relationship, and he tried to close the gap, but nothing was working. You would avoid his eyes whenever you were near him, rarely said a word to him even if he spoke to you first, and stood as far away from him as you could. It was so frustrating, but also concerning. Was he being to obvious, too forceful? Did you know how he felt? Was he being a creep? Questions like these kept the both of you awake on many nights, and you often wondered when it would end.
There would soon be a day, though, that would be a serious wake up call for the both of you.
On a mission you had come dangerously close to losing your life while saving another cadet’s. The Titan had you in it’s hand, bringing you closer and closer to its mouth. Before then, you had never realized how tight it’s grip was. You could feel pressure on your hips, daring them to break, and you barely had the air to scream. You became numb from your waist down and wretched at the Titan’s breath. It’s teeth were a tint of yellow and green you hoped to never see again, clothes and limbs stuck in between them from the fellow colleagues you would soon join. You had never noticed how high up you were when using your EDM gear, but now it was very clear; you wanted the Titan to let go, but even that wasn’t a better way out. You felt such a strong wave of helplessness that almost made your heart stop as you punched the hands of the monster; you looked into it’s eyes, knowing your efforts did nothing. You closed your eyes and held your breath, not wanting to know how close you were to death anymore. But then, Mikasa and Connie saved your life. Upon reaching the ground, you felt another type of pain: the realization and relief that came after holding hands with death. The tightness of your chest, the soreness of your heart, the dizziness of the world around you. Throwing up, gasping for air, all of it was something you never wanted to experience again. Quitting the scouts was a major thought in your head as you rode home, but soon the gratitude toward being alive took over.
After seeing that, Jean didn’t want to hesitate anymore. He was quickly reminded that none of you had an equal chance of survival, that any, or even all of you, could be dead the next time you went out. Knowing that, what was he hesitating for?
That night, he visited you in the medbay with one thought on his mind. He jogged down the halls, afraid of letting anything else stop him from telling you how he felt. It was only you, Armin, and Historia there at the time; your wounds were attended to hours ago, but it was protocol to stay with someone after a near death encounter, with good reason. You didn’t have much to say, as they didn’t either, so you all just sat in silence. Armin attempted to clean the bay to Levi’s liking, Historia read a book that was lying around, and you sat on the bed, staring at the sunset through a small window. Jean burst through the door, startling all of you. The two of you locked eyes, staring at each other for a moment with a mutual longing for one another. “Jean,” Armin stood, but before he could ask what Jean was doing there, he pressed his lips against yours, caressing your chin and holding your waist. You were startled at first, but you quickly kissed him back, tears beginning to fall down your face.
The two of you broke away, smiling with joy and relief knowing you both felt the same. “I love you, Y/N...” he said breathlessly. Your smile grew bigger as you took in every inch of his face. “I love you too, Jean.”
Armin and Historia glanced at each other before leaving the room, giving you two the moment you had waited a year for.
this is so bad, i’m very sorry, but i haven’t written actual stories like this in years, so I’m a bit out of practice. I still hope you enjoyed it, and thank you for reading to the end. <333
p.s. i changed it to only 2 parts since i think this is a good place to stop :))
