This is where I hide when I dont want to go to bed

This is absolutely not a blog. I have nothing important to say, I just store my funny things here and sometimes go on forever about my other half but I promise it is not to bore you, I simply cannot sleep and I do what I want. His name is Caleb and mine is Miranda. We are 18 years young and happy kiddos.

[mirandini]

Dear self, this is from April 9,2013.

Miranda, I'm writing because I'm kind of pissed off at life so listen to me. It is almost midnight and I have school tomorrow but I feel this is more important. This is posted the day before your 21st birthday because you better listen to me when I say you better not touch an ounce of alcohol. Remember how mad you were tonight? I'll refresh your memory. Dad is crippled with whatever he has and the family is broke as shit and you're about to start your second job and mom can still go and buy all her cases of beer. Listed conflicts make dad yell at mom and then mom drinks until she loves him again. You called her upstairs because its really hot and she was too drunk to even turn the fan on. She won't pay for air conditioning but she will pay to drink enough to not care. I've never hated mom but I do right now. Which brings me to speak on behalf of you being an adult now. As of now, I am dating Caleb Jesse Porter and our 19 month is in 6 days. If you're not still with him when you're reading this, just stop reading because I hate you. I'm being real I'm not afraid to hurt my own feelings. He is the best guy in the world and his family is amazing and not all fucked up like yours and he better have done something really really terrible if you broke up with him. If you did something to make him break up with you, once again, I hate you. Since you're still reading, I'll assume you're still with Caleb, or possibly named Miranda Porter now in which case thank god. Remember March 23, 2013? Spring break? Please take this moment to remember. Anyway, I really hope you dont have kids yet because 21 is still too young. But when you do here's some advice coming from adolescent you. Don't treat the kid like a baby Don't just let them do whatever like your parents did. Make sure they know you love them Raise them in church please Even if you're broke, if your kid is cold, warm them up and if they are hot, cool them down. Don't name them something stupid. Find a way to get them to talk to you as much as possible. That last one is important. I can't tell mom or dad anything because they will either make a huge deal and say I'm the worst kid ever or not even listen because it will "stress them out and make them have heart attacks and die" and if dad is dead now, I'm sorry. If he's alive I'm truly shocked. When the kid needs to stay at grandma and grandpa's make sure they go to Caleb's parents. If mom turns out anything like her mom she is now a verbally abusive bitch and should never ever be trusted with young minds. Or take them to Dylan because he's freak in awesome. Please tell me he has a girlfriend by now? Here's some more things about life right now. I'm in love with Caleb Emily is 13 and the most annoying thing ever and I can't stand her and she's starting to not be a very good kid Dylan is in the navy, and he's happy even though he's alone. My best friends are Caleb, Carson foust, Nathan watsek, Tristan hanneken, and still korie beth. If you have not talked to any of these people lately pleeaaassee contact them because they are really cool and honestly the only reason you are even making it through these bullshit teenage years. Olivia lawson isn't on this list because as soon as you set her up with Zack it was done. Sorry she has her first boyfriend and you don't matter. Please tell me they broke up. You are typing this on the nexus 7 which is pretty cool, your iPhone is shipping and should be here tomorrow. Right now you have been going to Hartford assembly of god for almost two years, and please tell me you haven't given up on God because he hasn't given up on you. It is now April 10th. Five more days till your and Caleb's 19 month. He's the best. If you haven't painted anything in a while please do so. Did you get fat? I'm about 115 right now it better stay that way Missy. I can't think of much else to say except please dont fuck up too bad. Life is a terrible thing to waste. Reread perks of being a wallflower and paper towns by john green, I feel like you just should okay they are really good. And watch some boy meets world. Whatever I'm done for now, you might have some more time capsule mail soon because this has been nice and I feel a little bit better about my life. Love, Miranda <3

[mirandini]

Ive been collecting childrens books and falling in love

Specifically, the collection is Disney's line of childrens books called The Wonderful World of Reading. I dont have any children, so people find this odd. I was originally drawn to them because the older Disney movies are expensive and I needed my nostalgia fix. That and they're just an easy thing to collect. Recently, my boyfriend of these last 4 and a half years has started reading them to me when I have a bad day and let me just say, it is the most amazing thing. I have no idea why I love it so much but its such a beautiful mix of the Disney stories, the pictures, but most of all the boy. Its such an intimate and innocent time together. Especially after a long busy day, I have never experienced anything as lovely as coming home to a dark and quiet room, only lit enough to see the pretty pictures, and just quiet enough that I can focus on his voice and the beautiful way he forms his words. Moral of the story is- if you like to read, and have someone you love more than anyone, ask them to read to you. You'll thank me later.

[darthvaader-deactivated20151222]

[guilty-as-battery-charged-deact]

Shout out to Ellie’s relative who fires a gun in church 

[weloveshortvideos]

[zombielovejuice-deactivated2020]

WE ALL KNOW THAT EMOTION

[adricapproved-deactivated201705]

UNMUTE THIS

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

I’m the dog

[emeraldbriar]

My emotion right now is this dog.

[tastefullyoffensive]

[whatta-ho]

[mirandini]

I always thought about my soulmate, even when I was really little and I wondered what he'd be like and if hed be funny and perfect and make me happy and I really wish I could go back and tell my little self that he's everything I hoped he'd be and I truly am the luckiest girl in the world. Instead of laying awake heart broken like most girls, Im up all night with my mind racing because I'm way too happy to sleep.

[lolfactory]

[outta-thiswrld]

Me trying to eat healthy things

[taylorwildfree]

[bloomedesert-deactivated2014050]

OH MY GOD I HAVE FOUND THE GIF OF MY LIFE

[mirandini]

I wanna live surrounded by trees and not people. I want to live where I can't count the stars because I can see so many, and I can't count the neighbors because there are none in sight. That would be lovely.

[daylightt-deactivated20240214]

waking up and realizing you slept through your alarm

[mirandini]

My oldest brother is a drug dealer so for Christmas my siblings and I got him a D.A.R.E shirt and I'm still laughing about it 😂

[nippleicious]

sorry i only date pokemon masters

[streetdogmillionaires]

When people say ‘This is my baby,’ they don’t always mean a baby. Sometimes they mean a dog.

A Somali student, on what has surprised her most about the United States. (via floranymph)

hhahaha

(via dayzea)

[rembranch]

when you love someone so much you read their horoscope first

[mirandini]

I'm going to explain why I am not a feminist. Please save all torches and pitchforks for the end of the rant and keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times

I guess I'll start by saying I don't hate feminists, because I am not better than anyone else and you can be whatever you want to be. My frustration with feminism began with a certain English teacher who instead of teaching us anything, balled up every ounce of feminist rage she had and forced it into our throats and gagged us with it. Its safe to say learned nothing about English, and a whole lot about feminism. For this reason I am not "ignorant" as many feminists would label me.

As a non-feminist woman, Id like to say that those who preach equality should probably not put others down for not thinking the same way. I thought that was common sense but who knew. Girls who I thought were my friends threw twitter fits upon realization that I am not a feminist. Turns out I "don't stand up for my own gender" which is a good enough reason for them to proceed to bitch about how they unfollowed me and go on with their lives, obviously superior to everyone who has better things to do than bring people down.

I would now like to say that I am an American Woman. I have equal rights. Why on earth would I funnel so much energy into a movement that ALREADY MOVED. "Women in other countries don't have equal rights" That is true but until you are actively doing something to help those women, I don't see how it is fair to use them as a stance in your argument.

Furthermore, I have never been discriminated against due to my gender. Yeah, boys on the playground are going to say they are stronger and faster than I am. And here's the funny part... they're right. And what could possibly be funnier than that. OH YEAH. The fact that it doesn't bother me. Males and females naturally have strengths and weaknesses. If I need help with heavy lifting I am going to ask a man for help, and more importantly- If a man offers help I will NEVER call him an asshole for it. I would actually thank him like a lot. That's super nice no matter who you are, thanks for helping me. Likewise, if a man were struggling with making a meal or comforting a baby I am going to help because that's the nice thing to do. Being considerate is not offensive at all.

ALSO, not all men are rapists and woman beaters. I would never intentionally be insensitive to anyone who has been sexually or otherwise assaulted. I have never experienced it, and I am sure it is horrible. But it is horrible for anyone. Men can be raped too, but nobody even takes that seriously. Same with men who are abused. I happen to think the fact that a man can go to jail for hitting a woman, even out of self defense, is awful. If a man went to the police because his wife hit him, the cop would probably laugh. that's not fair.

Really though, life isn't fair. I accept that. And quite frankly, I don't want to be treated exactly the same as a man. I love when my boyfriend opens doors for me, or pays for dinner even though I would never expect either from him. I also cook dinner for the both of us, and I love it. I am not against gender roles at all. Should it be financially possible for me to be a stay at home mother when the time comes, I would choose it over a job. That's my personal opinion in which I am entitled. The sheer fact that I have been ostracized by feminists for having my own opinion is already reason enough for me to naturally be turned off to the idea of feminism thanks to those I have encountered. For this reason, feminists can dislike everything I just typed. You can post about how you dislike it and that would be fine. Us women already have the right, after all.

Id also like to say, I am thankful for the feminists that fought for all the equal rights that I do have so I wont get burned at the stake for writing this. I am by no means writing this to disrespect the hard work that went into the happy life I get to experience. I STRONGLY believe that those women would be appalled at todays feminists for whining about having to work harder to get the same pay as a man. Complaining about having to work hard for something as materialistic as money is literally offensive to the women who fought a hell of a lot harder for your right to do much of anything. Unless 100% of that money you have to work so much harder for is going to actually helping the third world women who are nothing but a bullet point on your list of arguments, I honestly don't want to hear it.

This is really long so I suppose I will wrap it up although I have much more to say on the topic. If you made it this far, thanks so much for taking the time. If your reason for reading all this is to fuel your feminist hate-fire, you fuel that sucker up. 

Finally, if you are reading this, I love you, not for being any sort of "ist" or "ism" but because you are a human, and you matter, no matter what body parts you were born with.

 p.s. the anti-feminist hashtags are not what I would label myself, it is solely so they can find my post easily. My frustrations are not to be mistaken for hate.  

[actuallybenwyatt]

I met a couple Australians this weekend and they introduced me to what is possibly the greatest phrase in the English language. Apparently, a common response to a wide variety of questions is “I’m not here to fuck spiders”. It means “I’m already doing that” or “Obviously, yeah”. So like, example usage:

At the bar with a friend. Friend: do you want to get a beer? Me: well, I’m not here to fuck spiders.