i don’t have a nervous system. i am a nervous system

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@mirayma
i don’t have a nervous system. i am a nervous system
my absence will never haunt anyone because my presence never mattered
i wish sadness didn’t feel like agony. i wish i could feel a negative emotion without wanting to rip out my eyes.
Joy Sullivan, “When My Friend Is Low, We Walk by the River”, Instructions for Traveling West
i’m sorry i’m sad a lot it just gets really hard to be alive all the time
Eavan Boland, “A Woman Painted on a Leaf”
[Text ID: “I want a poem I can grow old in. I want a poem I can die in.”]
I want to scream and cry and die, all at the same time. It feels like my heart is being squeezed and it hurts so fucking much but it’s also so empty at the same time. I just want everything to fucking stop.
nobody talks about the fact that you can have all this crazy shit in your head, and want to open up and talk about your feelings but no matter what, you just can't make out the right words and properly put your thoughts and emotions into words
I can’t explain what goes on in my head anymore
Getting high on open window air