Without reflection

Maxine: a young writer 🦋

[mirrorless-chronicles]

I cannot exist without feeling guilty that I exist, but do not live.

[mirrorless-chronicles]

It means nothing to me/ Whether the world believes me dead/ I can hardly say anything to refute it/ For truly I am no longer a part of the world.

-A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

[thoughtkick]

“I am homesick for a place I am not sure even exists. One where my heart is full. My body loved. And my soul understood.”

— Melissa Cox

[mirrorless-chronicles]

Oh, what I would give to be a child again, where my biggest problem was an untied shoe lace and biggest decision was choosing what color crayon to use on my school drawing; when more of the world was in front of me, not behind.

[fragilepoetry]

The curse of feeling deeply in a world that devours the soft

[mirrorless-chronicles]

In time, a person thins into memory, becoming shards of themselves, living only as the versions others remember.

[resqectable]

“The funny thing is when you start feeling happy alone, that’s when everyone decides to be with you.”

— Jim Carrey

[mirrorless-chronicles]

I am paralyzed. A thousand bees fill my mouth and cling to the inside of my lips like the sides of a glass jar. I don’t dare move or speak, lest I wish to get stung; the swarm inside me hums, threatening to take over my body.

[mirrorless-chronicles]

Ever have a dream that feels so real when you wake up, you just want to lie with your eyes closed, desiring, yearning for the dream to become reality?

[mirrorless-chronicles]

A man who has nothing to live for is capable of everything.

[mirrorless-chronicles]

If the words you spoke appeared on your skin, would you like what you saw?

[mirrorless-chronicles]

The Sleeper’s Curse

I used to dream alone. Now my dreams breathe and fight back.

It’s strange how peaceful people look when they dream. They never see the monsters that hide right behind their eyelids, the way the air warps, dwindling hope...Well, I do. It’s my curse and my calling.

Each night, I slip through the veil between sleepers and walkers, into the dreamland where nightmares are often waiting to engulf dreamers with fear. Shapes emerge, made of ink and teeth, formed from fear so old it tastes like rust on my tongue.

(A little snippet from my short story)

[mirrorless-chronicles]

Heaven's Wings

I hope there are butterflies in heaven.

I cradle the idea and hold the thought,

like a fragile wing between my fingers.

I imagine fields that breathe colors,

and lands stitched with quiet lights—golden sky. 

I imagine everything and nothing at once.

I know I do not deserve it—

Yet, my mind builds cathedrals out of wishes.

Would the doorway open? Would Mercy listen?

I want to believe in a place with no burdens,

no shame of memories, no smallness left to hide.

I fold this longing into a single wish,

And tuck in neatly under my pillow.

May heaven hold butterflies—flitting, fearless—

In lands where we can rest without death upon shoulders.

May there be room enough to dream.

I hope there are butterflies in heaven.

[mirrorless-chronicles]

The ink splashes as the rain submerges somber faces. Bleak clouds, placate decolate minds.  As the leaves wither, fall - decay.

[mirrorless-chronicles]

I am embarrassed to exist. 

I am embarrassed to be alive, where people see me daily, and talk to me as if I am like them. 

I listen to them, I tell them I understand how they feel, how it feels to be loved, but it is an act. 

It is all an act.

[mirrorless-chronicles]

Do you remember that place where we used to lay?...

Where all our thoughts leaked out our minds and went into the sky,

Where we saw the world unwind.

That place made not only stars but our hearts align.

Oh creature of the sea, set me free and allow me to see this place

Before I forever leave this space.

[mirrorless-chronicles]

She asked him, with the stars of the universe twinkling in her eyes: What is loneliness? He ponders and after reflecting on his own life experiences he says: “To greave something… or not love anything enough to miss it when it’s gone.”