mrth

18 ˖ ݁♬⋆.˚𝄞 . . . did ya lose your tune ?

[mirthlesslove]

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

ps. sideblog! won't follow-back unless you explicitly state you want to be mutuals — send an ask or something! i'll give you my disc, i don't check tumblr often. on another note, i'll make a '''proper''' introduction at some point.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

[mirthlesslove]

i want to be put under anguish. i want to be put down and reduced into the ugliest parts of me at the hands of somebody i woefully adore and happily hate. there's no better love than one that debases you and sweeps your feet out from under you. there's no better hate than the person you love the most committing atrocities against and towards you and you doing the same. the only way to truly be loved by someone is to rip open your chest and show them the tar and grotesque of yourself and for them to show theirs in return. love is hate— hate is love, and this has been my desire for a long, long time.

[mirthlesslove]

i feel ill. i'm the type to gain attachments to characters who i relate to & as some know, crumb cuptoast recently posted their iteration of tomtord pork soda. and. i think the animation is quite detrimental to my mental health. WHY IS IT THE SORT OF RELATIONSHIP I EXACTLY CRAVE OH MY GOD. somebody bash me over the head with a heavy stone i can't handle this.

[mirthlesslove]

may we be mutuals? :]

sure sure! from this point on i'll just start giving you guys my disc, i don't check tumblr nearly enough to keep a social life alive on here.

[mirthlesslove]

scrolling through my for-you page and doing my normal interests isn't enough anymore i need to be genuinely beaten up or just brought to tears by someone i love!!! aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! i wanna lose myself!!!!!!!!!!

[mirthlesslove]

i like u have a cookie :3

awh, thank you for the treat!!!

[mirthlesslove]

went through some insane mental anguish last night and i woke up irrevocably happy. can someone fix whatever's wrong with my brain?

[notmadewithlove]

define me , defile me

yanblr ask game . there are 30 questions total , there are 15 confessions total .

by @ notmadewithlove

questions

the first breath ; how did you meet your darling / how would you like to meet your darling ?

my euphoria ; if you stalk people , what methods do you use to stalk them ?

choose my favorite ; do you enjoy being a yandere ? why or why not ?

break my lungs ; do you thrive more off attention , or ignorance ?

before death ; would you let your darling have friends ? why or why not ?

taunt ; do you have backup plans if anyone you're interested in tries to cut contact with you ?

i hate you ; does being obsessed with someone affect your daily life ? how so ?

i love you ; do you confess , or wait to be confessed to ?

freedom ; do you enjoy interacting with others whom you aren't obsessed with ?

bound by rope ; what extent would you go to keep your beloved from leaving you ?

branding mark ; would you kill your darling ? why or what would make you do it ?

destroy ; does your darling ever make you angry ? what happens when they do ?

the unhealthy ; do people outside of yanblr know about your obsessive behavior / desire ?

pieces of porcelain ; do you write about your darling ? what do you write ?

be mine ; what kind of affection do you give, if you give any at all ?

kiss my wounds ; why did you make your account ? what inspired you to do it ?

break my spine ; do you express the same obsessive behaviors in real life ? if not , how do you hide it ?

lights off ; how bad does it affect you when your darling rejects you ?

my flesh ; has anyone ever declared love for you ?

like god ; do you believe you're imperfect ?

kneel ; do you love yourself more than your darling ?

love is deceiving ; what would you do to get someone to fall in love with you ?

damned to suicide ; would you kill yourself (or threaten to) if your darling rejected you ?

shattered mirror ; what about your darling do you hate , if there is anything ?

locked away ; do you hide secrets from your darling ? why ?

you're my belonging ; do you prefer to have a power dynamic over your darling ? why or why not ?

equity and equality ; how do you treat others that aren't your darling ?

midnight forest ; if you could take your darling anywhere, where would you go ?

new years ; how long do your obsessions last ?

licking the boot ; do you obey your darling, or does your darling obey you ?

confessions

for you ; i check your blog every day . it's an addiction .

for me ; it's difficult to imagine a world where you're not mine .

dolls ; i want you to use me , however you want .

mauled ; the thought of you sinking your teeth into me is exciting .

movies ; i need you in my life , otherwise i have none .

pursue ; i love you , even if it means nothing .

following tracks ; i know so much about you , but i crave more .

manhandled ; i want you to take control of me .

muzzled ; i want to take control of you .

love letter ; nobody else should matter to you but me .

sit by the door ; i crave your attention to survive .

sealed away ; the only face i want to see is yours .

spoonfed ; i'll kill you if you try to leave me .

forest fire ; i would kill for you .

carrie ; you're the only one for me .

the ask game is meant for others to use , but i will answer to these if prompted . have fun .

[mirthlesslove]

hello ! hello ! i am sort of late . [ did not realize you reblogged an ask game . ]

here is my show of my condolences. ♡ unknown ( till the end ) ♡ all-in ♡ wiege ♡ paratise ♡ witch and finally, ♡ sacred light

HAHAHA... thank you for the asks antwler... no matter how late... 😒!

─•─────────── 𖦤

♡ Unknown ( Till the End ) : What lengths would you go to in order to pursue your darling ? Would you continue even if they were uncomfortable ?

mmm. the thing about this is i don't make it obvious when i pursue? other than that, i would go as far as i could personally handle. i tend to flake when i realize there's no chance, but if i have maybe even the slightest inkling that there was, i'd goad it out... also this depends, if their uncomfortability was something they stated outright maybe i'd tone it down, but if not, then why should i stop?

♡ All-In : Are you strict or lenient with your darling ?

i'm all about pretending and façades, so perhaps it would seem like i'm lenient quite early on, but the reality is i am woefully strict. i like knowing everything, every move, whether they're going to spend time with others, whether their behaviour has been inexcusable, etcetera. my truth is that i have some high standards — i've just gotten quite comfortable with the pretend act that it'll take me some time to truly express that sort of control over another.

♡ Wiege : How important is your darling's comfort to you ?

umm. controversial, but not that much. i think some discomfort is nice. especially when they reciprocate and push boundaries and make me feel discomfort as well! i quite enjoy people's bad behaviours and all those nasty and negative things that people usually dislike. i don't want some angelic, prim, and innocent sort of lover who i can worship, i want someone who's in the trenches with me.

♡ Paratise : Are you comfortable in your obsessions , or does it bring you shame ?

i've become quite comfortable with it. maybe at some point i would have said it brought me shame, but this obsessive nature of mine has become a fixture in my life and just how i go about things that it's not something i find all too shameful. at my core, i'm a shameful and guilt-ridden and corrupt being. it's hard to extricate myself from it. i just have to live with it.

♡ Witch : Would you ostracize your darling from everyone else ?

yes! even if it made my lover upset, who cares! you have someone who is willing to be your everything (me) so what's the point in others??? if i'm not my lover's no. 1 priority like how i revolve my life around them, then what's the point? i'd be okay if me and my lover shared a friend group, but any other friendships where i'm not involved or included should be minimized in importance. a hangout with a friend should not be set in stone like how plans with me should be set in stone. if i say i don't want my lover hanging out with their friend — that i want them to hang out with me instead, then they should be able to figure out which is more important and cancel that plan. i don't care if they're going to have a better time with their friend. even if they're miserable — at least they're miserable with me.

♡ Sacred Light : Do you tend to view your darling as above you , or beneath you ?

depends. how i view my lover is completely up to how they present themselves to me. i'm a malleable person, i can be a lot of things. i could be the perfect devotee who sits at their feet and hurts them and expects discipline — or i could be a controlling being who places myself above, hurting them and reveling in the action knowing to expect nothing. how i am and how i treat my lover is all dependent on how they treat me and what sorts of things they let me get away with. if they let me get away with too much, i hold power and will expect it. if they don't, then it's the inverse.

[mirthlesslove]

does anyone ever just hate a fictional character so much for no good reason that when someone talks about the character in your presence in a positive or apologetic way you just get nauseous? this happens so often to me for no reason, especially when i get my friends into my medias and they end up enjoying the character! was 'arguing' (not really, just talking) with my friend over the character and right after i told them i was nauseous...

[mirthlesslove]

sometimes i feel conflicted that my love is too much — sometimes i even wish i were less cruel. i wish i could stop myself, that i could stop scaring off those whom i love due to my uncontrolled and habitual actions — but at the same time i don't truly wish to change. i'm content as i am, and maybe i'm deluded to believe that i'll find someone to put up with me, but it's better than the alternative of loving and devoting myself to someone who i know wouldn't be able to handle that latent illness that i repress deep within me. i don't want to mold them into a person who is unlike them no matter how much i love them because it merely wouldn't be them — it'd be a person i created for myself. and while i'm unrightfully selfish, i want my lover to be as authentic to themselves as possible like i am. so i'm grateful to be a 'yan'. i'm grateful to be cruel and unshakeably true to myself and corrupt and, well. you get the gist of it.

everyone, please stay true to your core. it's the only thing you'll ever owe yourselves.

[princespousal]

To celebrate 200 followers , as promised ☆ 13 questions & 6 confessions ( based on character dialogue ) .

♡ Questions

♡ My Clematis : Do you remember your first darling ?

♡ Sweet Dream : Would you consider yourself a savior or the one that needs saving ?

♡ Unknown ( Till the End ) : What lengths would you go to in order to pursue your darling ? Would you continue even if they were uncomfortable ?

♡ Black Sorrow : Do you enjoy being in love , or does it bring more pain than joy ?

♡ Ruler of My Heart : Do any of your previous darlings still hold ownership over your heart ?

♡ All-In : Are you strict or lenient with your darling ?

♡ Cure : Would you sacrifice yourself for the one you love ?

♡ Wiege : How important is your darling's comfort to you ?

♡ Karma : Do you prefer your relationships to be pure or toxic ?

♡ Heart : Do you tend to hide your true self , or are you immediately open with your darling ?

♡ Take My Hand : Would you still love your darling if they hurt you ?

♡ Paratise : Are you comfortable in your obsessions , or does it bring you shame ?

♡ Witch : Would you ostracize your darling from everyone else ?

♡ Sacred Light : Do you tend to view your darling as above you , or beneath you ?

♡ Scars : Would you prefer your darling to move on if you died , or would you want them to mourn you forever ?

♡ Confessions

♡ Mizi : I find you utterly adorable ; I want to crush you .

♡ Sua : My heart will be the worst blessing in your life .

♡ Till : I wish I could go back and protect you from everything that's ever hurt you .

♡ Ivan : My desire for you overwhelms me . I wish I could live in your skin .

♡ Luka : Your life is mine and mine alone .

♡ Hyuna : You're my one and only weakness .

[mirthlesslove]

i know you haven't been around very long but i really enjoy your posts !! i also had a laugh when i showed my other obslove friend your posts and they said "this person types like chatgpt is stealing from them."

i cracked up i hope you know that... other than that i'm so pleased that you guys are enjoying my ramblings i'm so honored...

[sacred-portal]

[mirthlesslove]

one phrase i've taken to embodying lately is "express yourself don't repress yourself" from human nature by madonna. i'm done limiting and restricting and repressing all those nasty parts of me for the comforts of someone i expect to be able to let loose to. i want my relationship unapologetically authentic and i no longer wish to make myself less for a lover's comfort when i would never care if they made me uncomfortable.

[mirthlesslove]

i yearn for a mutual obsession. i don't want to feel like i'm the only one with something wrong in my head — i want it all to be mutual. i want our obsessions mutual, our fighting to be mutual, our hurting to be mutual. i want someone to be just as upset as i am when they hang out with other people or when i do. i want someone who's unafraid to voice their jealousy to me — someone who wants to induce jealousy in me like how i do to them. i want someone to call me out on my bad behaviours and still covet them like i would to theirs. god i yearn for a love that brings me great anguish!!!

[mirthlesslove]

would it be draining to have someone reliant on you & you alone for majority of their attention & social interactions or can that be manageable. asking for a friend!