Pocket kitten
(via)
Silly kitty.
Cosimo Galluzzi

Origami Around
wallacepolsom

Andulka
RMH

titsay

JBB: An Artblog!
Xuebing Du
noise dept.
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taylor price

tannertan36
One Nice Bug Per Day
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YOU ARE THE REASON
Stranger Things
KIROKAZE
Jules of Nature

blake kathryn

⁂

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@mirthsadismfilth
Pocket kitten
(via)
Silly kitty.
she doesn’t wonder ~
she knows ~
∞
But, does she know how to find me? I mean, the fuck!
‘Self-Collaring’, my thoughts to this point...
…
TL;DR Blah blah blah. ‘Self-collaring’... Like a promise ring, or maybe multiple personalities?
I think a collar, is both intangible and tangible. So, it can always be a symbol, and sometimes it very much insists on certain meanings.
As a tangible physical thing, put a locking steel collar on a person, and chain them to a post in your basement... they ain’t leaving ‘til they find some tools or do what you want. That physical thing ‘means’ something.
That physical collar always means ‘bound’. Bound to what is the question. Sometimes, in the broader culture, it means ‘bound to be fashionable’. In the pornography that borrows from the culture, which borrowed from history and the BDSM culture, sometimes it’s just a signal that the wearer wants to suggest certain connotations and roles, to titillate the viewer with the fantasy.
On TV, in cop shows, a ‘collar’ means credit for arresting someone.
Sometimes a collar just means ‘I want to freak out my parents/friends/community’.
Within a smaller group than the whole of ‘BDSM’, what I will call the ‘lifestyle’ kinksters, it’s symbolism is much more serious. Among those, a collar is sometimes considered even more sacred than marriage vows.
Of course, you all know this, but I repeat it to remind myself, primarily, that MY meaning is not YOUR meaning. And, EVERYONE’S meaning is valid.
That rebellious teen may turn into a super-lifestyler, and make another kinkster SUPER HAPPY. Maybe that rebellious teen, just trying to be confrontational will eventually become a BDSM educator. So, I don’t reject the meaning attached by that person.
For myself... I see a place for play collars. I see a place for day collars. I see a place for permanent collars. Now, thinking about it, though I have never seen it, I could see a place for a tattooed collar. And, I don’t know if there is a generally accepted name for it, and this is the super serious one, I see a place for what we might call a ‘claiming collar’ or a ‘forever collar’, a collar that is offered and accepted as a sign of a binding more serious, a binding of souls/hearts/spirits/wills.
In a dynamic, I have been doggedly stubborn in communicating that I consider a ‘collar’ to be a huge serious thing, that it has certain meanings to me (as well as contradictions, duh, HUMAN!), and that if we get to that point, we should agree on a meaning BEFORE we use one.
I can see a perspective of ‘self-collaring’, though I have not heard this expressed, that says something like, “I wear this for my future Dominant (all versions/meanings)”. I had a short fling with a gal who wanted to be an exhibitionist, but who didn’t out of respect for her future Dominant, until she knew what He would want. I think that thought process or mindset could lead to a ‘self-collaring’.
Beyond that, while all kink is valid, I don’t understand the ‘self-collaring’ thing. Unless it’s multiple personalities?
[ Inspired by a Discord group daily discussion topic. ]
The Gift of Vulnerability is Riches Beyond Compare.
This image moved me today, reminded me of the tenderness which is inseparable from the D/s and kink I practice.
Yes, I’m a Sadist. Yes, I will do things to you, that will take you to the edge of reason, strength, and spirit.
I will also hold, cherish, and love you. Not only for the amazing opportunities you offer to me to dominate, torture, and possess you. I will hold you, cherish you, and love you for the person you are, sailing this tumultous sea of chaos with me.
It doesn’t change anything, whether I feed you cold pizza standing in the kitchen after I have impressed the tarnation out of you, when I hold you close after you trip and scare both of us, or when you just feel the need to be close to me.
The gift of vulnerability is truly riches beyond compare. Please find your way to me.
Yeah I got WAP -
Wasted like
All my
Potential
But, you lived to post this. And tomorrow is another day.
“So now I know what I have to do. I have to keep breathing. And tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide will bring in.” Cast Away
sir this is a taylor swift lyric
See, she’s not all bad.
Yeah I got WAP -
Wasted like
All my
Potential
But, you lived to post this. And tomorrow is another day.
“So now I know what I have to do. I have to keep breathing. And tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide will bring in.” Cast Away
I greeted him at the door on 4" heels, a high ponytail, and a satin apron.
He pushed me into my apartment with hungry kisses and desperate gropes.
I peeled back the layers of a long day at work: briefcase with a thud by the door and the friction of his belt through each belt loop. The buckle jingling as it fell to the floor.
He bent me over the table and thrust himself against my back and ass before unzipping and revealing his excitement to me. I ran the stiletto heel up his inseam while using the mental map of his body to guide my hands to revisit my treasure.
His mouth and hands raced to discover every spot that would make me gasp or moan. I cocked my head and squirmed in the shadow of his stature. The high ponytail danced against my skin.
He grasped my long brown tresses at the tip and recalled all the photos and videos in his wank bank of arched backs and bent necks.
He yanked so hard that he herniated C5-6. During the surgery for my artificial disc replacement, my surgeon found a bone shard 3mm from my spinal cord.
The man who whispered in my ear of how i was “marriage material” moved to Toronto 2 weeks after he damn near made me into a quadriplegic. He closed on a house the day of my surgery.
To this day, I jump when someone puts their hands near my head. My ears ring constantly. And every time I see one of you all post a photo of someone having their hair pulled, I think about all the pain one dumb, badly-executed move caused me.
1. Get consent. 2. Give warning. 3. Grab slowly and smoothly at the roots 4. Movement comes from the wrist (minimizes chance of injury to directional force) 5. If need be, let the person with the hair being pulled hold on to your wrist to either limit your movement or as a failsafe. 6. Over time develop trust with your partner to dial up neck extension, force, or speed.
All that and the fucker never even gave me a single orgasm.
Too important not to reblog
I am so sorry for what you experienced @ifitpleasuresme. Thank you for sharing this wake-up call.
Signal boost. If you go charging into a scene thinking you can act like they act in those gonzo BDSM porn loops, you’re a fool. Always keep the Safe in Safe, Sane, and Consensual. If you are not absolutely sure of what you’re doing in a scene, don’t fucking do it.
Even a wake call for 24/7 dynamics, because it’s too easy to become complacent with your play, and forget to check in with your partner about if anything has changed.
This wasiin my que.. but @hiswifeslut hit the real nail on the head here!
I had a much lighter experience - where after some rough face fucking in an awkward position, I awoke the next morning unable to rotate my neck all the way. The chiropractor said 3 of my cervical vertebrae had been rotated or slipped. I don’t even know what I came up with as an excuse for that one lol. He was able to adjust them back into place.
It’s important to know how to take care of acute injuries- I actually had to wait two days because it was the weekend to see my chiropractor. In the mean time I iced my neck and took ibuprofen. Had the injury been more severe there is a real chance that even just swelling and inflammation could cause irreparable damage to the spinal cord or surrounding structures. Ice and ibuprofen are go-to when you need to treat acute injuries that have caused or could cause dangerous inflammation.
The neck is such a common feature in sex and bdsm play. It’s so important to be aware of how it’s angled and how it’s handled during sex and scenes. Always put safety first and remember to pull- not yank on anyone’s hair or head!!
I was very sad to read the OP. I am so glad the OP posted it though because it is such an important message that needs to echo throughout the bdsm and even vanilla communities.
I come back to this post pretty often. I actively and deliberately seek it out.
You want to know why?
Because this is the harsh reality of the potential damage that kink done improperly can cause.
It’s very easy to get caught up in all the extreme activities and the rough and tumble type of play that we all love, but every so often we need to all be given a reality check that firmly plants our feet back on the ground. Something that forces us to revalue the mantra of “Safe, Sane and Consensual.”
This post for me is my wake-up all. It humbles me and grounds me every single time I read it, and I applaud with all the strength in my hands the woman that was courageous enough to post it.
Safety always comes first and I’ll be damned if I ever forget it.
Reblogging in honour of 5 years post-surgery ❤️
BOOST.
Boosting
Repost boost
BOOST!
I will never ever not reblog this. My acquaintance with life altering neck injuries is real and strong. The number of scary hair pulling gifs I see on here is appalling.
That’s probably verbatim to the last time I reblogged this. So be it.
And this is why I allow so few people to pull my hair.
Great thread. Horrible event, but hopefully it can educate. Holy Mackerel.
Dom/mes be like "Hey I know a spot" and then tie you to their beds.
Right? Everybody wins.
How to own a good sleep?
Seek Your Inner Peace ICNBUYS Zen Garden
Super Important.
Determination
Submission, and Dominance for that matter, while inbred, don’t come naturally. Now don’t mistake my meaning here, I believe submissives and Dominants are born this way, as much as people are born with blue eyes or brown. The innate desire to lead, or to follow, is not a choice, but the acts of submission and dominance are not innate, they are learned.
Take sex for example, you can know that you want it, that it is something you need in your life, but learning to have fulfilling sex is a journey, not a single act. And so it is for D/s. You can take a submissive or a Dominant as your own, but that doesn’t complete your journey any more than losing your virginity makes you a master of sex. There is always more to learn.
And you know what? It’s not fucking easy. You’re going to screw up. Probably a lot. You’ll hurt the person you love and it’s going to be soul crushing. They’re going to hurt you too, and you’ll probably be blindsided. You’ll learn and grow, and if you’re anything like me, sometimes you’ll look at the trail of mistakes behind you and you’ll wonder if maybe you aren’t meant for this after all. That maybe you aren’t really submissive because you seem to fail a lot, or that maybe you aren’t really a Dominant because you seem to hurt your sub even when it’s the last thing you want.
But here’s the thing… Dominance and submission are innate desires, but learning to fulfill those desires takes work. Learning to serve your partner, fulfill their needs, and make sure that your own are met, requires determination and effort. Wanting something, truly deeply wanting it, even needing it, doesn’t mean you know how to get it.
You have to be willing to pick yourself back up when you fall. It doesn’t mean you weren’t made for this. It doesn’t mean you aren’t a ‘true’ submissive or a Dominant. It means that if you want it badly enough, you’ll muster the strength to learn.
I miss pleasurewhore, she was a wise lady.
“Something will grow from what you are going through. And it will be you.”
— Unknown
There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself. - Henry David Thoreau
“Communication Is Key”
“Communication is key to D/s.”
It’s hard to find an idea that circulates around the D/s community more than that one, isn’t it?
D/s has pretty much forced me to learn to communicate better than I used to. I’ve grown and benefitted from that greatly…as has our relationship. In ways big and small. For example, I used to hate having to ask permission to skip a rule even when life really made leniency necessary. The bigger conversations have always been hardest though.
It’s sometimes still extremely difficult for me to speak up and initiate those big talks. Because while I’m a grown woman with a few years of D/s experience who knows from experience that communication brings us together and solves our problems…who knows that my Dominant wants needs my voice to be a big part of our relationship…there’s still a hurt little girl in me. A little girl who learned the hard way that my needs were bothersome, that my emotions - whether it was sadness or fear or frustration or overwhelm, would trigger BIG anger in others…that it would take my problem and set it on fire or make it explode instead of helping me through it. A little girl who learned over and over that stuffing your feelings, swallowing them in whatever way you can is always the answer. It doesn’t matter how badly it cuts your throat to swallow it, it’ll still be less painful than bringing it out into the light…because that will cause an explosion and you’ll still have to swallow it in the end.
Somehow as an older kid, I learned that some people were safe to express my emotions to. I made friends who I shared my heart with through middle school and beyond. It was a relief to get to release my emotions a bit more but by the I was used to stuffing my feelings. I knew CD was safe to share my emotions with before we were dating. I could talk to him about my childhood, about others who hurt me, stress I was under - I knew pretty much anything was safe with him. But the area that I struggled - and still struggle, to accept as safe was talking to him about him or about our relationship. Because I had only ever seen couples fight after attempting to discuss the ins and outs of their relationship. At least if there was anything less-than-positive to share, I thought fighting was the only way. I had no idea what mature disagreements, negotiating of needs and priorities, or serious problem-solving within a relationship could look like..I only knew fighting. Fighting has never been a safe experience for me. Today, even though I have lived in a relationship that has proven that wrong for years now, my instinct is to still associate discussing challenges in a relationship with picking a fight.
So when I need to talk to CD about our relationship I always have had to pep talk myself..or that little girl in me. I just always have to pep talk myself into finding the confidence to be able to do it. But when he’s been stressed or cranky or just extra busy? That voice in the back of my head that tells me he’s already burdened so I shouldn’t add to it - can be so loud that I can’t pep talk myself and find the confidence to speak up until life calms down again. Or until he initiates a conversation and takes it to a deep place so I know he’s open to ‘going there’ in that moment. Even when a conversation is initiated? Sometimes we go quite deep but I hold back on something extra vulnerable or extra hard that still seems a bit too much still.
Recently the dam totally broke. It hadn’t been very long since we had discussed our relationship dynamic (aka had a meta talk) and those had been positive and successful experiences..but I was still somewhat guarded during them I guess. I held back a bit. This time, we both 100% made ourselves entirely emotionally naked and we truly talked about every last thing. It got so vulnerable that I had a panic attack. I’m a nervous nelly in general, and I’m always uncomfortable or a little anxious when having conversations about our relationships but I usually manage okay. This was my first time it resulted in a panic attack. Panic attacks are quite rare for me. Writing that seems like it could read like this discussion was a bad experience…but it wasn’t, at all. Basically the opposite. There was never high tension and I never felt scared of my vulnerability or scared of how CD might react to what I was sharing even though I was emotionally vomiting things I had held back in fear previously. I wasn’t scared - just the opposite. I was able to verbally name a problem and express a fear that was so triggering to me that simply saying it out loud triggered a panic attack. But I was able to speak of the fear because I felt safe enough to go there. At some point he said “you handled this perfectly.” in reference to me bringing up the hard thing to talk about. And he shared lots of important stuff too. Some of it a bit difficult to hear, but I was grateful to hear that stuff too. I need his vulnerability as much as he needs mine. We need to see each other emotionally naked now and again so that we remember who we are at our cores and to clear away any assumptions we’ve made about each others needs, wants or motives but haven’t explicitly asked about. Ever since that discussion I’ve almost felt physically lighter. I hadn’t realized I had felt weighed down, but I must have been.
I’ve known for years now that our D/s functions best when we get very vulnerable with each other on a regular basis. We achieve that best through communication so yes, of course, communication is key to D/s. But that doesn’t mean it’s not hard as hell and messy in practice for some of us. Because we didn’t learn how to do this as children, we didn’t have good examples. So we have to carve the path on our own. It’s always been a challenge for us, but we’re in a difficult chapter in life which makes communication a new sort of challenge because we’re stretched thin by other things. Life has been so difficult for reasons unrelated to our relationship that it makes it easy to accidentally put things off for too long. But I’m so glad we did. It’s helpful to our D/s and to us both individually. It’s helpful to the little girl in me to keep stacking up proof that I’m safe and convincing her that she’s safe is how I continue to get better at communicating.
“I’ve known for years now that our D/s functions best when we get very vulnerable with each other on a regular basis.”
This.
True.
Beautiful.
I hope not.
Context is EVERYTHING.